After almost two years of searching, writing letters, sending photgraphs,
talking on the phone I have decided that I am calling it quits in my pursuit of
a russian bride. After my 12 year marriage ended due to my wife's infidelity, I
tried entering the dating circle again, but after all those years being married
I felt strange and very uncomfortable most of the time. Also the quality of the
women I was dating was not as high as I would have liked. At the rate I was
going I envisioned myself having my wedding and first social security check on
the same day. I am a conservative type of person with a decent blue collar job,
a nice home and all the trappings of a decent life, a life I wanted to share
with someone.
I discovered electronic dating by accident after frequenting the aol chatterooms
and meeting another man who was looking into the concept. It turned out that we
lived pretty close to each other and became friends. He ended up taking the
plunge and is married now, more on that later. I took a more shy approach and
cast my line out to see what I could catch. I soon found out the sea is full of
fish and my nets were almost always coming in full to the brim. Although most of
my catch were throwbacks. Through the information I could dig up I learned the
ropes and although I did fall for a couple of minor scams, I learned quickly and
was never out any significant amount of money.
Over the last two years I started to become obsessed with the entire russian
woman idea and gradually It started to consume me to the point that my
personality changed, my mom and dad started wondering about my welfare and the
people I employ started making fun of the way I was acting.
It's not like I was psychotic or anything but more that I was the all knowing
xpert on russian women and electronic dating. Nobody else's opinion mattered but
mine and everbody else was wrong except for me.
If I saw a negative story about mail order wives on the tube it was always the
press that was wrong. When my firends chiided me about picking a wife from a
catalog it was them that were wrong and not me.
When I read of other men getting married and their rw trading up on them I
always convinced myself that there must be something wrong with those men and
this would never happen to me.
My wake up call started when the man I mentioned began to have problems with his
russian wife. He got engaged on his first trip and they were married within the
year. He is 50 and owns a brick company and she is 28 and was a nurse in
russia. Things started out ok until she discovered how to spend his money faster
than he could print it. As it turned out she had met another russian woman
online who was having marriage troubles as well and it just went downhill from
there. While they are still married and in counseling it looks doomed to me but
I hope I am wrong.
As I learned of other american man russian woman couples having troubles I
started to wonder if there was a single reason for these failures and I came to
the conclusion that the entire system is flawed but nobody really wants to admit
it. A couple of evenings at russian mixers confirmed my suspicians. For those of
you lucky to live in a large city the local shooper guids usually list social
events and in my town we have a russian woman/man social that meets twice a
month. The advertisements are usually in the same section as the big beautiful
woman socials and parents without partners meetings.
The first time I wnet to one of the mixers I was very uncomfortable and I was
pretty much ignored but things did get better as the night went along and I
ended up meeting a very nice, outgoing russian lady who ended up becoming a very
good friend of mine. I learned so much talking to these russian women, but yet I
did not learn a thing. Like Dorothy in the Wizard of oz I always knew what the
real deal was, I was just to caught up in frenzy to realize it. I learned from
my russian friends, both men and women, that the primary reason for these ladies
seeking american men is to get out of russia and better their lives. Love is a
way distant second behind a willing american male with a bank account.
I learned that many of the women think nothing of sleeping with whomever just to
get what they want or need be it money, clothes, a promotion or what have you.
And the men are no different with mistresses being a common side hobby.
I learned that russian women who come to america love to spend money and like to
thow temper tantrums when they don't get what they want.
I learned that the man she married to get the visa is only the first step in the
process and if something better comes along she will trade up.
These are hard habits to break.
It was at this point I started to retrace my steps and take a serious look at
the websites, chattergroups, and agencies that I was funneling my email through
and come to some serious, although admittidly broadbased, conclusions.
I was now looking at these women from the same viewpoint that virtually everyone
else in the world will do when they stumble upon the typical dating website.
Here are the conclusions that I have come to.
It's impossible to even have a chance of getting to really know a person via
email and maybe a 0ne week trip to russia.
And marrying a person after such a relationship is mostly suicidal in nature.
What would an american woman say if you asked her to marry you after a
relationship like that?
She would think you were cookooo, unless she was desperate to get married or
something.
You will never know her true motives nor will you know how many have been there
before you. She will drop you like a hot potato when another, more suitable man
starts emailing her. This is especially true for men who marry well above their
real level, meaning the 50 year old marrying the 20 year old.
The entire industry thrives on the horniness, unrealistic expectations and
desperation of the men and couples it with the desire for the russian women to
get to america. It's like one feeds off of the other one in the search for
happiness. Couple this with the rejection from american women that the average
email wife seeking man is likely to have experienced and it becomes like a
sucker pit.
The guy doesn't stand a chance against Madison Avenue like advertising
techniques.
It's all about money, mostly yours and mine and the desire for the dating
serivces to compete to see who can syphon your bank account quicker.
Fiancee visa kits, newpaper advertisements, over priced translation services,
overpriced flower deliveray services and such are only the tip of the iceburg.
The real tip-off to how foolish this entire system is lies in the girls
themselves.
Take a good look at any of the web based dating services and that includes some
of the ones on the A-list.
It seems like sewing, cooking, cleaning and reading good books are the only
things women do in russia. Take a look at some of the age ranges these women
will accept for possible suitors. Sorry, but a 22 year old who is looking for a
man between the ages of 25 and 60 is after one thing only. And this is the norm,
not the exception. It is very difficult to find women who even remotely appear
sincere. And take a look at the pictures. Many of the women look like
professionals to me.
Look at first dream, one of the better companies and see for yourself. Check
out ML0201, ML0202 who is 22 years old and looking for a man 45yo to 60yo.
Can you say TRADING UP in 2 years?
And even if you are smart enough to figure this out and laugh about it while
moving on to more reasonable choices, what does it say about the scupoules of
the people running these businesses.
Here are some more look at any of the ladies on the euroladies first page.
Come on already, they look like professionals and I am sure they are good at
whatever they do but cooking, cleaning and sewing isn't high on the list and you
can be sure of that.
These people are appealing to the dumb american man who is eager to part with
his money. This is what the entire concept is based upon. Hard up men who are
looking for non threatening wives and get all caught up in the russian woman
phenomena.
I admit I bought into the program hook line and sinker, but I'm back to reality
now and that reality is no way Jose.
Talk to some russian women who are already living here if you want to know what
the real story is and what the motives of the women really are.
One last thing, I have met several rw/am couples that are very happy and I have
met more than a couple of men who are still looking. These men are everyday
joe's and would make excellent husbands for the right woman but they are just
fooling themselves if they think she is at the end of an email program.
You can find success stories posted on various groups on the internet, but what
you rarely hear about are the failures, mostly because the men are too
embarrassed to admit they were taken in.
My advice is to sit down and take a good honest look at your particular
situation and do what is right for you.
Best wishes and a happy holiday to you, jake
