A Resolution...

[Jay]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: In my opinion..., posted by Ray on Dec 21, 2002


I take it we are allowed to say "ball's" on this forum now?

Jay

[kevin]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: In my opinion..., posted by Ray on Dec 21, 2002

Just take a good look at yourself for a change!

- Kevin

[Taliman]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: In my opinion..., posted by kevin on Dec 21, 2002

Opinions are like A@@holes...everyone has one.
But that's just my opinion....LOL

[kevin]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: In my opinion..., posted by Taliman on Dec 22, 2002

And wind can blow them apart too!

- Kevin

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: In my opinion..., posted by kevin on Dec 21, 2002

:-)

[Jimbo]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: In my opinion..., posted by kevin on Dec 21, 2002

I see my boys are at it again...

Merry Christmas you guys!

Jim )

[Mars]

... in response to Re: If you don't..........., posted by kevin on Dec 21, 2002

I uneqivocally concur 1,000 % It would have been much better had she stayed in the PI. But like Sitting Bulls vision before the Battle of the Little Bighorn.."I give you these because they have no ears"

Yeah...check out the flick. The coliseum/arena scene is pretty much the same as a nasty divorce. Welcome to the "Arena".

[Humabdos]

... in response to Re: If you don't..........., posted by kevin on Dec 21, 2002

Cut your losses and move on ASAP!

[Stephen]

... in response to Practical Strategy for the End Game, posted by Tim on Dec 20, 2002

H:

I agree totally with Tim.  You've have some great advice here.

REMEMBER:  IT'S IMPORTANT THAT YOU FIGHT THIS BATTLE WITH YOUR HEAD.....NOT YOUR EMOTIONS.

One last thing....you're down and discouraged.  I understand that.  But I also know that you can keep your head and cooly handle this.

Best wishes.

Stpehen

[Bear]

... in response to A Resolution..., posted by Howard on Dec 20, 2002

Your quitting already?  That I just don't understand.  You have the very opportunity you are looking for with her depression and sadness to let her see how strong, loving, understanding and helpful you can be and you take the first door out?  

Gods there yelling at you and giving you all kinds of signs he is ready and willing to help and you quit.  Wow?  

Go in there and tell tyhat girl you are going to be with her right till the end cause you love her more than anything else even if it hurts you.

Bear

[Mars]

... in response to What?, posted by Bear on Dec 20, 2002

Waste of time....Why would Howard want to pour salt into his wound?

[kevin]

... in response to Re: What?, posted by Mars on Dec 21, 2002

It's IDEALISM vs. REALISM.  Persistent clinging to idealism under such adverse circumstances is like asking to be robbed, persecuted and killed.  One can only turn the other cheek so much.  

Howard, I think you really need to envision where you want to be in life 2, 3, 4 and 5 years down the road.  The actions or inactions you take now is going to make a profound difference for your future.  I'm sure you want to be happy, comfortable and at peace in the future.  Do what you have to do in order to survive.

- Kevin

[Mars]

... in response to Re: Re: What?, posted by kevin on Dec 21, 2002

*

[Howard]

... in response to What?, posted by Bear on Dec 20, 2002

Art,

Besides myself, no one, including my wife, has done more to try and save this marriage than you.  I am truely thankful to you for your determination and compassion.  I don't get to say this a whole lot, but you're a better man than I :c)

You know I have tried and God knows I have tried.  Try to step back, remove Marissa from the picture and understand that I have done everything and tried everything I can think of and Ayesa is simply not interested.  You know that I had hoped to work with her on the difficulties we face, including her obvious depression, which she will not face.  I had hoped that while we were working together we might be able to reignite the spark we had early in our marriage.  The spark was a lie according to her.  It was simply her, "Trying her very best..." to deal with a situation she wanted no part of.  The fact that I am, "a good guy", quite likable and have been so patient with her has made it that much more difficult on her to do this.  In her words she kept "trying to be happy", but just "is not".

I tried to persuade her to stay until we reached the point of screaming and all I was doing was making her withdraw from me again and threaten suicide.  At that point I gave in.  I have tried to reason with her on every level--emotional, logical, from a friendship perspective--she wants nothing but her freedom.  She doesn't want me to hate her, which I don't, but she isn't willing to do anything more than make it as easy on me as possible to give her her divorce.  If I push any harder, and you'll just have to trust me that I have given everything I have and more, I will create an adversarial(sp?) relationship between us--which I could see building until I gave in--and that will only alienate her more form me, pushing her farther away from help.  I am still going to try to get her into some kind of therapy for her depression.  Remember, I am only filing for divorce.  If at any point we decide to reconcile, which I don't see her agreeing to, I can stop it with a phone call.

I prayed to God for answers and this is the one I got.  The marriage counsellor, an ordained minister--a Born Again Christian--told me to divorce her after going over the situation.  My situation seems extreme, I know, but I can't ignore the signs any longer.  My wife has alot of problems and has refused my help at every turn.  The only help she is willing to accept comes in the form of a divorce.  As much as I am against it, as much as it hurts and infuriates me, I am left with little else to do.  By leaving, I fear what many here predict might happen.  By leaving against my wishes, she has severed the last tie we have.  I have given her NO reason to walk out on me.  By doing that, she has forced me to do what she wants.  And don't make the mistake I have been, this is what SHE wants.

You should understand better than most, all we can do is ask for God's guidance.  We may not get the answers we want, but we will get answers.  No one is more shocked and disappointed than I, but who am I to argue with the signs God has seen fit to give me.  Everyone I know is simply praying for our peace of mind, maybe this is what it will take.

I hope you can find a way to understand, I would hate to lose you as a friend!

H

[panther]

... in response to Re: What?, posted by Howard on Dec 21, 2002

if while going through this legal process the court mediator can help get your wife evaluated and perhaps assist in getting her the professional help she needs.  She may not listen to you but if the request is made by a professional mediator or court person she may comply.