Happy New Year, everybody!!! I got a kick out of this, maybe some of you will too!
WC
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish.............................................49
Adventurous................. Slept with everyone
Athletic.........................No boobs
Average looking...............................Ugly
Beautiful...........................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile.............Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure......................On medication
Feminist......................................Fat
Free spirit....................................Junkie
Friendship first..........................Former slut
Fun..........................................Annoying
New-Age.................Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned..................................No BJs
Open-minded.................................Desperate
Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate...............................Sloppy drunk
Professional....................................Bitch
Voluptuous..................................Very Fat
Large frame................................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate.............................Stalker
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want..
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think
about?
MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
