Colombian punctuality..

[valleydude]

[This message has been edited by valleydude]

Well, I just got back from the BAQ last week and I had a great time.

I stayed at the El Prado and I liked it. If I was going to meet many  girls then the Dann Carlton may have proved better, because it is possible to walk across the street to the mall and meet all the girls that a person wants. I wish I had known it was so close. When people said that the mall (Buena Vista) is across the street, I had no idea that it literally was.

I plan on going back soon, but since I don't know if it is for this girl, I am up in the air where I will stay next time. If things pan out with her... it is the El Prado once again. If not, it is hands down the Dann.

I do have a question... How in the world do you guys deal with Colombian time? That drove me nuts! When she said that she would be at the hotel in 1-2 hours and it was 3-4 hours, I went crazy! I read about Colombian punctuality on this board and that is the only reason why I waited.

From what I read; I was prepared for this, but not prepared as to how long it really was. I did take a stand each time that she was late, but I think I was too generous. When she was late, I took a stand and I was hoping that this would not happen again, but I obviously did not do a good job. Each day, her 1 hour was 2-3 and I went crazy!

How long do you guys usually wait if you know the girl, and what do you do if her 1 hour is 2-3 hours? I tried everything possible to correct this situation, but I never had any results.

Thanks in advance,

V-Duce

Edited... V-Dude

[nocomment]

... in response to Colombian punctuality.., posted by valleydude on Dec 9, 2005

Maybe forcing a man to wait is a chick test to establish who will wear the pants in a potential relationship. "If he will wait for such & such amount of time, I know that I will have the upper hand in this relationship." There was a thread below by Montrealer where he said something about his dates coming up to his hotel room to "make a call." Were they really testing him to see if he'd make a move on them? Another chick test?

[Jamie]

... in response to Colombian punctuality.., posted by valleydude on Dec 9, 2005

now you made us all look bad. She’s going to tell all her Colombian girlfriends, who are going to tell all there Colombian girlfriend that American men are a bunch of lapdog wusses that will wait for hours on end for you to show up... so take your time girls.

You should not wait more than 30 minutes the first time and 15 minutes the second time.

Almost everyone is late here. It’s funny when Colombians are on their feet they are never in a hurry. They can wait in line at a bank for thirty minutes over and over again to pay a $20 bill with calm and patience. But you put a Colombian in a car and they are not going to wait for nothing you better get out of the way because their going to hit that accelerator and swerve as many times as it takes to come to a screeching stop at the red light one block away.

Legitimate reasons for a Colombian to use their car horn:

The taxi stopped in front of you is loading or unloading passengers.

You are approaching a red light and you don’t want to stop.

You are approaching people and you don’t want to stop.

You see your plane taking off and you want it to stop.

Mandatory testing by Colombian law, it’s the only part of the car that is required to be maintained and functioning during roadblock safety checks.

Commencement of holiday celebration, Carnival is only 11 months away.

The taxi was a converted ice cream push cart the horn automatically sounds when the wheels turn.

Standard announcement in upper middle class neighborhoods that the man of the house has returned from work and the backdoor man better be on his way out.

The bummer sticker on the car in front of you tells you to.

Loudest horn has right of way.

I’m all ready three hours late for my Gringo date and scolding commences after 4 hours.

Why not?

Engage the Exotic - Latin Women
http://International-Introductions.com

[CelticUrge]

... in response to Oh Great..., posted by Jamie on Dec 9, 2005

I believe that for all of Latin America, signs, traffic lights, road design and even traffic police are merely "suggestions" and the driver may interpret these as you choose.

Pedestrians, on the other hand, are targets and should remain alert and quick on their feet.

[valleydude]

... in response to Oh Great..., posted by Jamie on Dec 9, 2005

Hey, Sorry about that! There was one night that she pulled the ultimatum and I said: "Adios!" After that, she had to work before I caved.

Knowing about Colombian tardiness up front, I kept rationalizing. I did not know what was appropriate, and I was trying to understand another culture. Now that I know, it won't happen again.

Believe me, the record will be set straight...

Live and learn,

V-Dude

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Re: Oh Great..., posted by valleydude on Dec 10, 2005

When I lived in Oklahoma we had what we called Indian Time. Many of the state's residents are part Native American and punctuality is just not part of the culture. As they say, "The pow-wow starts when the pow-wow starts." Of course once it does start, it never frigging ends. Some similarities there, I wonder why Okieman didn't pick this up.

[jim c]

... in response to Colombian punctuality.., posted by valleydude on Dec 9, 2005

I have found that the only Colombiana that is on time is the ugly agency girl that is your next Appointment when you are talking with the girl of your dreams. Actually thirty minutes is all I give them. After that I am gone. The ones I like are the Friday/saturday dates that call to cancel ten minutes before they are due. Then to top it off they ask if they can reschedule. Talk about feeling like last call. No second strike in Latina dating. As I said before my favorite excuse is my mother died again.

The Cartagena Hooker

[CelticUrge]

... in response to Re: Colombian punctuality.., posted by jim c on Dec 9, 2005

My condolences for your mother!

[soltero]

... in response to Colombian punctuality.., posted by valleydude on Dec 9, 2005

The lasst time I was in Cali, a friend was waiting with his brother-in-law to pick up the brother-in-law's novia from work. She told him to meet her at 6:00pm. He asked my friend what time it was. My friend said five minutes to six. He asked again until my friend said six and he pulled off. She had to catch the bus home. He said if they aren't on time, then dump them and get another one. I guess that's easy when you live there.

My friend being a Gringo was shocked. He said that he would have at least waited 10 minutes. The brother-in-law said "that might be ok for Gringos, but the women understand that for us, time is money. For her to make me wait at all is extremely disrespectful andd she knows it. I could have been doing something else but I was here for her. For her not to be on time is inexcusable."

[Frank O]

... in response to The Colombiano Response, posted by soltero on Dec 9, 2005

Perhaps because I AM latino!! LOL!!! No honestly I do agree with that. If a check can't get her shit together on time to meet me she can find another man who will but I'm NOT. Time is something I'll NEVER get back.

[CelticUrge]

... in response to The Colombiano Response, posted by soltero on Dec 9, 2005

n/t

[Beattledog]

... in response to Colombian punctuality.., posted by valleydude on Dec 9, 2005

Just tell them a diffent time. If they are always 1 hour late, tell them 7 pm, when you actually mean 7 pm. My daughter in-law is alwasy 15 to 30 minutes. Always, we tell her the event is 30 minutes ahead of what it is to be and she is always on time.

Beattledog

[WS244]

... in response to Colombian punctuality.., posted by valleydude on Dec 9, 2005

[This message has been edited by WS244]

Well when one hears "1 or 2 hours", one just says "I will wait one hour then will be going to eat" (Colombian women love to eat and will not miss a free meal).  I have been around Mexicans most of my life, and Colombians for 5 years now, and they all march to the same "mas tarde" cultural tune.  

So the rules are--
In business you are selling to them --you are on their schedule.  
In women you are buying and on a limited schedule -- so they are on your schedule. (of course after they have you, you will be back on "their mas tarde schedule".  That is unless one is being a jerk in life, and in that case will probably end up being divorced again.

You gringo fools, you wanted a demure latin girl "Bienvenido"

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Colombian punctuality.., posted by valleydude on Dec 9, 2005

I never wait for my wife. In fact she usually is the one waiting for me. If we have to meet at say, 4 PM, she is there at 3:50. If I show up at 4:01 I hear about it. Punctuality is one of her pet peeves so I don't know how she survived 42 years in Colombia. She is from Medellin and I think it may be the only place where people are relatively on time.

[valleydude]

... in response to Colombian punctuality.., posted by valleydude on Dec 9, 2005

Yeah, I figured that she just wasn't into me too, but each time that she was late and I was ready to move on, she was clearly upset and always apologetic, then she would be early the next time. One night I didn't see her at all because I told her that

I was tired of waiting and had other plans. She showed up 2+ hours late, and I said "Adios". After this, she called my room all night and she was at the hotel first thing the next morning waiting in the lobby. It was like a big circle... She is late, I say something, then she is on time the next time. (Repeat) It drove me nuts. I do know that after I left that night she dreaded being late even though she was. She got better at keeping me informed. The thing that has me is that she said: "In the United States when a person says 7:00, it is 7:00?" She said this very innocently and honestly. I explained what 7:00 here means and she was rather suprised. (She is not an agency girl. I met her on LACupid. We had been talking for 4 months prior to my visit.)

As far as seeing me off to the airport... She was planning on going with me, but an hour before we were supposed to leave, she called her Mom and her mom said that work was looking for her. She had to go into work. She wanted me to go to the airport as late as possible for us to have some extra time. Finally she went to the airport with me in the cab, but she did not go in. I felt that she stretched it by taking the cab ride with me. I would have liked her to wait but hey?

At one time, I thought I had one of Papi's cheek kissers but she said that she wanted to take things slow becasue she did not know if I would be visiting again. I can respect this. She did however begin warming up to me a little more each day. I only wait about 20 minutes here and then I am gone. I knew that punctuality was different down there, but I had no clue what normal was down there. By the responses it sounds like an hour would be acceptable and generous. I plan on seeing her again and I will explain this to her before my next visit. She is a pretty good agreeable girl. She seems to be oblivious to things, but when something is brought to her attention she is easy to talk with and open to finding a mutual solution. I'll probably be giving her another shot, and plan on heading back down in a couple of months.

I planned on writting one big trip report; but instead I will just share my experiences and thoughts as they come to mind and as topics come up. I enjoy all the trip reports, but I am just not up to writting a novel right now. haha!

V-Dude