Christmas time questions

[Montrealer]

... in response to Re: One day you can all say...., posted by jim c on Dec 5, 2005

Ok, first let me tell you why I am here at this forum.  Is it to have arguments with people?  No.  I joined because I wanted an insight on using an agency ro meet women.  I got that.  I stayed a member and am an active member only because I believe that alot of people are looking at things wrong, and I would like to show other newbies that you don't need to overthink things.  I feel that the majority of people on here are bitter and have very seldom anything positive to say.  This can be very discouraging to people that may be here looking for an encouragement.  I want to encourage people not to give up, especially not before starting.  I believe that is the way all things in life should be taken, not just finding a latin wife.

I realize that there is a good chance that the information you are telling me is very true.  But I am choosing to ignore this.  I believe that what I am doing is what is best for me.  If I am wrong and this is an error, then I will know when that happens and learn from that error myself.  I have a feeling that many people have succeeded with simular steps that I have taken.  The only reason you don't hear about it is because they choose to no longer post here.

One more thing.  I gave a detailer report of my trip a couple weeks ago, because I thought it was a great piece of information for other newbies.  I did receive many thanks from many people about helping them, as well as much criticism from the old pros out there.  Before I went down, I would have loved reading a report like that so that I would know a little more of what to expect.  Maybe you're right and I should stop sharing information about myself and my times.  But, I thought that that is what this forum is for.  So maybe it is you that needs to make the choice of stopping to read it and replying to it if it bothers you that much.

[Bueller]

... in response to Such emotion, posted by Montrealer on Dec 5, 2005

Montrealer, there's a REASON the newbies are thanking you and the old pros are criticizing you.

Let me pause here while you think about what that reason might be...

"I realize that there is a good chance that the information you are telling me is very true. But I am choosing to ignore this. I believe that what I am doing is what is best for me. If I am wrong and this is an error, then I will know when that happens and learn from that error myself."

 Now these are the words of a true, archetypal fool. I have now copied your picture from your website and sent it to Merriam-Webster's for their 2007 edition. King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, mentioned young men like you many times in his book of Proverbs. Even if you're not religious, reading a chapter a day is not a bad habit, and its thirty-one chapter format lends it to such a discipline. A major theme of his, for whomever who has ears to hear, is: "The paradox about fools is, they're fools because they think they've got it all figured out and won't listen to those with more experience."

One drawback to the School of Hard Knocks is that the tuition is so damned expensive; it is much cheaper to attend the Institute of Hard Knocks Suffered By Others. When you say, "If I am wrong and this is an error, then I will know when that happens and learn from that error myself," you are correct in an obvious sense: yes, you sure will know. But how much money will you have spent at that point? How much time will you have wasted? How will it feel to have your heart broken again, compounded by the regret of knowing people tried to warn you? How many children will you have, whose lives will be permanently altered by the trauma of divorce? On that last point, this isn't just a matter of your life to do with as you please.

[jim c]

... in response to Such emotion, posted by Montrealer on Dec 5, 2005

Actually Most of us bitter folks do our best to steer intelligent, stable people away from the fantasys like: I don't have to know her to marry her.She should love me because I am rich by her standards. Communication is not necessary its chemistry that is important. Colombian women are faithful and make better wives. I am a mess so I will go south and buy a wife. She will learn to love me. She should be thankful because I rescued her from poverty and gave her opportunties. These along with others are but easy excuses for insecure men who won't do the work to establish the trust and transparency necessary for a long term relationship.

I can accept that some guys  have no resources for advice and fall for these easy way out solutions to their loneliness. But we on this board have seen them come and go, exhibiting a total lack of respect to the women they are involved with,while talking on a public forum about their seductions. They are exhibiting their photos and generally breaking the trust of these women to gratify their miniscule egoes. Would you write on the internet how long it took you to seduce your Canadian wife and what would she do to you if she found out.When will posters realize they owe latinas the same respect that the women from their own culture demand.

   Don't tell me I am bitter and should not read the posts that are filed here. You can't even piss on the paper and will eventually be sent to the pound. If you want certification call an agency owner and he will agree with your insights. Meanwhile I think you are an immature young man with disaster constantly in your future. Of Course you are smarter than us old pros look where it has got you so far.

You are not even a keeper! The Cartagena Hooker

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: One day you can all say...., posted by jim c on Dec 5, 2005

We got to get you laid.
When are you coming???

Pete

[Pete E]

... in response to One day you can all say...., posted by Montrealer on Dec 5, 2005

You sound just like I did.I defended myself very well.Guys just gave up and said good look,which unfortunately I did not have.
But it WAS ALL IN MY HEAD,ALL MY FEELINGS,I DIDN'T KNOW HER AT ALL.

Pete

[Montrealer]

... in response to I wish the archives went back 6 years, posted by Pete E on Dec 5, 2005

it's too bad that there not there.  But I need to make these decisions myself and theres not really any talking me out of it.  I have always been an intense person in my life, and the type that sees something and goes and gets it.  In general, this way of life has worked out very well for me, with very few failures.

[Pete E]

... in response to I would have liked to read your stories,, posted by Montrealer on Dec 5, 2005

I am  getting excited for you.I told that cave story defending myself,but I had a better real one.Seems like sometimes life is fate,we HAVE to follow it to see where it goes,we just can't resist.And sometimes its for our benefit,sometimes perhaps we are a tool for someone elses good.There is a very bright 14 year old kid who is living in California right now who has a very bright future.If I hadn't met his mother his life would be far different.For  someone who has been as fortunate as me it DOESN'T always have to turn out for MY benefit.
OK,I love this real story.
I had a car dealership,I used to sell European cars.One day I am standing out front and this old man is walking by.He decides to stop and talk to me.His wife had just died.They had been married 51 years.He met her at a rodeo in Montana in 1939.He was a bronc rider.He told her "I have ridden wild horses and wild women all over the west."She tells him we will see about this,He said I was broken in a day,he married her the second day he knew her.So it does not HAVE to take TIME.

Pete

[Montrealer]

... in response to Got to tell you another one, posted by Pete E on Dec 5, 2005

That's a great little story.  It just goes to show you that things are possible, no matter what the odds are.  I realize in theory that the odds are stacked heavily against us having a successful lasting relationship.  But if I have odds then I know I have a chance.  And the best thing is the odds are in my control.  I can make them better or worse, depending on what I want.

[Cali James]

... in response to I would have liked to read your stories,, posted by Montrealer on Dec 5, 2005

[This message has been edited by Cali James]


Well if you won't take the time for yourself, please consider doing it for her.  Marriage is a two way street and she will need to be just as sure about you as you need to be of her.  The way to help her with her decision is to give her time to truly know you as you really are, not the person in her fantasy as you'll never live up to it. Credit cards and extravegent gifts will not help her make a decision.  It might give you a warm fuzzy but it truly does more harm than good.

[Montrealer]

... in response to I would have liked to read your stories,, posted by Cali James on Dec 5, 2005

Who she knows is who I am.  People around me know that I am one of the most giving people alive.  I am generous.  It's just who I am.  I'm even good to my ex-wife.  On top of child support, I even buy her gifts for Christams, birthday, etc.  That's the person I am, and I'm not trying to impress her.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: I would have liked to read your stor..., posted by Montrealer on Dec 5, 2005

Thats what I said.This is me.This is the real me,this what you are getting,I like to live the good life,so this is what you get if you hang with me.

Pete

[Cali James]

... in response to Re: I would have liked to read your stor..., posted by Montrealer on Dec 5, 2005

[This message has been edited by Cali James]

If you think she knows you in a week then you're the least complex most transparent person that probably ever existed.  More than likely what she knows about you at this point is mostly things she's derived in her mind.  It's more a fantasy than anything at this point in a relationship.  Maybe when she discovers the real you, the reality won't fit the fantasy.  This happens in relationships, you meet a person you really like and admire, perhaps have chemistry with but over time you discover how really different the two of you are.  The things you thought were cute about your significant other become the things that possibly annoy you.  This happens all the time and it can be avoided with a little patience.

I'm sure you're a good guy but even good guys aren't a match for every woman.  Give her an oppurtunity to truly know you......slow down!

[gcman]

... in response to I would have liked to read your stories,, posted by Cali James on Dec 5, 2005

seems he not care about the woman is all about HIM  sad

[Montrealer]

... in response to Re: I would have liked to read your stor..., posted by gcman on Dec 5, 2005

Since when did we start talking 'caveman'.

Actually I care very much about the woman.  I did not express any feelings and sort of let her lead as far as sharing her emotions in the beginning.  I have usually done this because I can be a very intense person, and can sometimes come on too strong for some women.  So with women I actually like, and would like to like for more than one night, I usually let them lead the way or at least let me know where they stand, so there is no pressure on there side.

[fathertime]

... in response to seems he not care about the woman is all..., posted by Montrealer on Dec 5, 2005

Howdy sir, I am all for going headlong and possibly creating a mess although if she does not realize how "Intense" you truely are you may want to clue her in on that to see how she reacts.  
I guess if your are going to move this rapidly, it would make sense to let her see all sides of you as soon as possible.

Buen Suerte
Fathertime