Oh... So now I am the PROBLEM!?

[kevin]

... in response to Oh... So now I am the PROBLEM!?, posted by Howard on Dec 9, 2001

Howard,

I just got a glimpse of this post.  Please don't feel too bad about what other people might say to you.  I've learned through life, in all walks of life, that many people are cruel.  They probably see you down and out, and are riding on their high horses that tey're not in your situation.  One lesson passed onto me in life, is that in this world, you have very few true friends.  A true friend will stand by you no matter what.  Not just socialize with you when the going is good, but will be there for you when you need him (her) most.

My friendly advice is to forget about Ayesa's happiness.  It's a moot point to be concerned about her well-being now.  She does not want you to be part of her life, except as a distant ATM on legs.  You need to get tough with yourself.  You need strength to get through this.  Your friends can give you their heartfelt advice, but it is up to you to break past the denial stage and go into the acceptance stage.  Only then can you begin to rebuid from the rubble.  Good luck.

- Kevin

[The Mog]

... in response to Oh... So now I am the PROBLEM!?, posted by Howard on Dec 9, 2001

wishing you the best of luck sorting through things Howard.
The Mog

[joemc]

... in response to Oh... So now I am the PROBLEM!?, posted by Howard on Dec 9, 2001

HI Howard,
           I have followed most of your posts,
           and I think you are doing the right thing
           For yourself and your wife.    Goodluck,JoeMc

[Mars]

... in response to Oh... So now I am the PROBLEM!?, posted by Howard on Dec 9, 2001

Howard,

I know you have heard the saying "Friends don't let friends drive drunk". I think the analogy applies here. I also know you would rather I did not say anything about the matter anymore and I won't after this post because I have said pretty much everything I wanted to say many times over and you are, more than likely, tired of hearing it from me like a broken record but Dude....She isn't going to change...you aren't going to change her...her coming back here isn't going to change her and no matter how much you care for her or recite your love, caring and concern for her here at this board and/or to her face, suggest that you both go see counselers, priests or whatever...... she will still behave the way she was programmed to behave years ago. There is nothing that will change her. You are hoping for a miracle that just isn't going to materialize with this particular woman, although for your sake, I hope that it does. From my perspective you are fighting a lost cause and after awhile it looks rather foolish...even like you are desperate for someone....anyone....to share your life with. Good God Man...I know you are a deep person and that your values are solid. Everyone here can see you are a man of honor, integrity, loyalty, love, vision and valor. But you had better "cut and run" while you can. Lord knows I wish I could have. Do yourself a tremendous favor and avoid the battle ahead. There is another one out there for you Howard and when you find her you won't have to play all these ridiculous games and jump through all the hoops you have been made to jump through for the affection you want and aren't getting. The games and the hoops are just the beginning....Wait until you get to the arena. I will close here Howard and you won't hear another word from my hard @$$ mouth again. I know and understand that your values call for you to see this to a hopefully "happily ever after" ending but when you arrive at the arena....don't forget that I told you so Bro. I like you Howard...that is why I had to say what is on my mind. Please take no offense.

[Mr Kabalaka]

... in response to Oh... So now I am the PROBLEM!?, posted by Howard on Dec 9, 2001

Your not the problem Howard. I think you are doing what you need to do.  I hope she comes back so you can at least try one more time to see if things can be worked out, if for nothing else your peace of mind and to know you did everything you could.  Good luck and hang in there!  Humabdos