Chris,his real name is a guy who lives in Stockton Ca.I don't think he will mind me teeling the story.If he didn't get it before he needs to.
Chris is a GOOD LOOKING young guy, 36 5 years ago when this story happened.He came to some of our parties in San Jose,got interested in going to Colombia.He was very worried about USER women.He was very concerned about agency girls.I might say I think its a little silly to hop a plane to the most dangerous country in the hemisphere,then be scarred of an agency girl.If you don't get lucky real fast or are very casrefull you will get used.Its a lessonm you probably need,so what,just limit the cost to your time,money and more importantly,your attitude.
Watch out for poor alternatives.My ex says I have lots of nice friends,they are good girls,you can meet them.That was true.The problem,as Phillis Diller unkindly put it,bow wow.I did some posts,sent some pictures to guys,the picturtes usually ended it.One was somewhat attractive,she got a couple dates.One of the others I ran in to last year,She said "you were supposed to find me a husband,"she says,poking her finger in my chest.I tried I say,What I didn't say is I do not perform miracles!
But,my ex tells Chris about a girl we do not even have a picture of.
I met her but don't remember much.She has a nice face,was short,kind of fat as I remembered.Rocio says oh no,she is thinner than me.Maybe on her 9th birthday.Another friend met her.He tells Chris I really don't remember,but I will tell you if she was good looking I would have.
So Chris starts calling her.He has a friend interpret on the phone.This girl is thrilled.Chris likes that reponse,he is way out ahead of himself with a girl he never met.Rocio say you should stay with my family.The girl lives with them.Buddy John tells him you are doing it all wrong,he wasted 2 weeks in the Philpieasns one time getting locked down.
So,Chris,who had never gone anywhere,goes to Cali.He spends maybe $1200 on plane and misc,saves maybe $300 staying with my wifes family. The girl tells him on the phone I have accepted you already.
Chris meets her,knows in 2 miniutes he is not interested,spends his only trip ever to Colombia locked down living in the same house with her.My brother in laws see what is going in,try to introduce him to other girls.When they do girl one is sitting right there watching.
He returns never yet to return to Colombia.He says he might go again,but has not.
The problem is,this is a good looking young guy who has NO IDEA what he missed,He could have met some REALLY OUTSTANDING girls he would very much have been interested in.Some really hot ones.He would have been motivated to return.He is young enough to date 30 somethings in the US but he is is only finding wachos.
So for fear or an agency,and to save $300,He misses the most exciting thing he could have ever done.
Moral,do NOT get locked down with someone you are not interested in.I would say forget writting,ect,but at least plan yourself an escape route.Do NOT WASTE your PRECIOUS TRIP TO THE MOST EXCITING PLACE ON THE PLANET IN MY MIND,never to return,without even knowing what you missed.
I always worry about guys thinking I will just meet them wherever.Fine,if it happens.But more importantly,
meet alot of women.You never know when or where the right one will appear,but you have to meet them to make that happen.Some women will like you,some will not,same for you.Keep looking untill you find her.The only way you can screw that up is to quit trying.
The other mistake,meet one,try to make her fit the mold,even if she doesn't.Some do,some don't you can't force it.And if you can't read that you will go,gee,what happened?ala Okieman last trip.Wrong girl Amigo.Keep looking.Don't just try one untill its clear she is the one.And she will not tell you directly.Basically look for strong response.Other than that its not going to work,no matter how you ponder it.You have to meet many usually for her to appear.Then its easy,when you have the right one.Even difficult things like language get easier.
I say Play the numbers.I like agencies for that,Try other things if you have the numbers,if not,you are dealing with very limited possibilities.It might take you 5 years and 10 trips for the girl you could have found in one.Put the odds on your side,don't swim upstream.
My opinion.Of course I screwed up my first time.A little different story.Maybe I will do that one next.
My ex said she had seen Chris,he attended a Colombian Gathering.They always kind of liked each other,Hmm. I don't care.Go for it.Although I would not recommend it.4 years of swimming upstream for me.Problem is you often know it too.You can just keep doing it untill the current beats you to death.Pant,OK.Ok,I GIVE UP!!! I GIVE UP!!!NO MAS!! Some of us seem to require more than subtle hints.

Pete

... in response to Re: First bad example,how NOT to do it, posted by Cali James on Sep 22, 2005

Contacting women before you go is absolutely the wrong way to do this.

... in response to I beg to differ on that, posted by Frank O on Sep 22, 2005

I am a fan of correspondence but you have to be realistic about it. Even seeing someone on a web cam is different from being with them in person. Corresponding with someone will tell you if there's enough there to go further but no more than that.

... in response to First bad example,how NOT to do it, posted by Cali James on Sep 22, 2005

James,
Rocio would have loved to hook one of you guys up with her.Of course you did SO much better.The religion thing was a good call.Martha was living at  the church working there at one time,now I guess she went the other direction,nothing to do with it.But they respect that as a reason.I think I told you,we were in Cartagena,there is an old Monistery on a hill.Rocio would not go in,.She said I am not Catholic.I said me neither,but this is historical.She would not go in.
Actually I did skip the inquisition display,or you would have heard more.I don't want know details,I am pissed enough without them.

Pete