Make that Armour,thats me.
I should have known better.Actually.I did know better.I actually had learned the lesson years ago in the states.They love  you or they don't,if they don't you can't do anything about it.
But somehow I think Colombia is different.I am strongly influenced by Bud,who started Latin Love.He marries his wife in 2 weeks,no sex first,now he say he is the happiest guy in the world.He says if the woman is over 30 and has a kid no Colombian will marry her,.If you will she will think you are a saint.Enter ST Pete,the rescueer.
I meet Rocio.Think what a nice person.Too bad she doesn't have a chance with the more glamerous other one I am pursuing.After getting singed over there  she is starting to look  better. I am thinking I can make this little girl and her son so happy she will be forever gratefull and the best wife a guy could have.Underlying here is an old need to be important,to rescue,to be the hero.
So I ask her to marry me,5 th date.She accepts but doesn't seem thrilled.My first clue to run like hell.But will prince galliant reneg?No way.
Guys tell me I am screwing up.I defend myself,gallantly I might add.Its all in my head,I don't know whats in hers,but I am getting some signs should I care too notice. I marry her,no sex first.It wouldn't be gallant to demand that,give and you shall recieve,right?Right?
So,honeymoon,I get an ice cube.Do I send her back to momma?No,wouldn't be right.Give her a chance.
4 years later I have to admit to myself what I knew all along.They love you or they don't,if they do they will show you,if they don't they will show you.1000 nights starring at the ceiling waiting for gratitude to kick in finally makes its obvious point.As Bueller put it  so well to me,gratitude is the least durable of human emotions.And I might add,if someone SHOULD love you and they do not,the pressure of that will cause the opposite of love.
So $700,000 house,car,english lessons,business for her family,trying to be a father to her son,giving her everything she ever asked for and more,is all COUNTERPRODUCTIVE.
I wish that little lesson,the one I already knew but did not want admit,had cost me 4 years  and $300,000 less.I can picture the goodies I would buy,the places I would go.Timely bailing would have accomplised that,But knights are a stubborn sort.
Everything we do we get a result we want or a lesson.And sometimes we can be very right,the agrived person who gives all only to have it spit back in his face.You get lots of agreement,sympathy.Ain't it awfull.Yup,awfull stupid thing to do.But then,maybe,we get some roles in the play of life that are for the benefit of others and our education.
Actually I can laugh about it.Soltero and I compare stories
He has one about that good too,although he figures it out alot faster. Nice does not have to mean stupid,but they often go together in the great game of life.
On to the next play.I choose a differet role this time.My character has matured.
Actually I find life VERY interesting.What a fun deal.We get to choose our role and play our part,as do others.Maybe we can have a good laugh about it all in the great up yonder.The devine comedy of life.

Pete