Reply To Frank O RE: Devout Christian Latinas

[Looking4Wife]

In an earlier post, I wrote a list of criteria I was looking for in a woman, and included on that list was that the woman must be a "Devout Christian".

Frank O responded:

"Have you encountered much difficult on this? It appears in Latin America most are either Roman Catholic or siply non believers period. In Ukraine it's Orthodox or non believers, and BOTH cultures have a LOT of silly superstitions.
That is actually one of the big points for me & honestly one of the TOUGHEST ones to meet. Just wondering how it has affected you if any."

MY ANSWER:

Frank, the only place I have been in LA is BAQ.  Yes, most of the people are Catholic.  However, there is a surprisingly large number of Evangelical Christians in BAQ.  I have attended services at 4 Evangelical churches, 2 large (i.e. several thousand in attendance during multiple weekend services, because the buildings cannot contain them all at once), and 2 small.

As typcial of the BAQ population, a plethora of gorgeous women can be found in the evangelical churches.  Approaching them is a huge challenge, because of the logistics or not wanting to come off as a "wolf in sheep's clothing".

It is easier to set up introductions/dates if you are willing to consider Catholic women.  I found that I could "work with" certain Catholic women, others the religion did turn out to be a problem.  My focus is now exclusively on Evangelicals in BAQ, with the exception of 2 Catholic women that I am still in contact with on a non-serious basis (although previously I dated both seriously on my first trip to BAQ).

[oakham]

... in response to Reply To Frank O RE: Devout Christian La..., posted by Looking4Wife on Aug 3, 2005

You are too tied up in thoughts for a search of a wife.  Relax.   Catholic or christian you're supposed to be in charge act like it or abandon your search until you can. Act like a man.  Or see a counselor.

[lapentier]

... in response to Re: Reply To Frank O RE: Devout Christia..., posted by oakham on Aug 6, 2005

Oakham,

I do believe religion is a reasonable consideration.  The admonition of, "Be ye not unequally yoked..." is an important factor.  Also, remember that the term "Evangelical" refers to a very wide group of faiths--everythinng from Methodist, Baptist, Presbyterian, Lutheran, Assembly, etc.

The friend who I am helping is a music minister.  Religion is VERY important to him, and I think his friend understands the life he has chosen.

The other factor to consider is that a woman who marries a man from the same denomination is likely to fit in quickly and comfortably in her new environment.  The culture shock is still there, but it can be reduced significantly.

Mark

[Frank O]

... in response to Reply To Frank O RE: Devout Christian La..., posted by Looking4Wife on Aug 3, 2005

Thanks for responding. That proved to be a tough point in my marriage to the Uke. When we started she was fine. But then she got into some weird new age crap & things RADICALLY changed. With Catholics like you said some are fine about it but others are immovable on the subject even if they don't adhere to their OWN beliefs.
Regarding meeting them at church well same thing as you regarding the "wolf in sheeps clothing". I also heard that in Cali there were some mega churches. One if I recall had like 5 to 7 services per day simply because the building could NOT hold everyone.
ANyways thanks for taking the time to respond as for me this is a HUGE point. Even though you've only been to  BAQ I appreciate your input as your are the first one to discuss this.

[Malandro]

... in response to Reply To Frank O RE: Devout Christian La..., posted by Looking4Wife on Aug 3, 2005

were you incarcerated at some point and hairy legs bring back fond memories from Cell Block H?  

I am not sure of the reasoning behind the shaving prohibition but I find it unsettling.  talk about silly superstitions.

[Hoda]

... in response to Reply To Frank O RE: Devout Christian La..., posted by Looking4Wife on Aug 3, 2005


L4W,
 In focusing on Evangelical women, are you going to rely on intro's from Agencies, friends or will you attend Evangelical events in BQ? Your path is particularly interesting, being that the normal venues "agency, malls, parites, etc" may not be available to you. If it's not too personal to post, what were the differences (beliefs?) between the Catholic & Evangelicals, that lead you to focus on the latter....thx

[Looking4Wife]

... in response to RE: Devout Christian Latinas, posted by Hoda on Aug 3, 2005

HODA WROTE:

"L4W, In focusing on Evangelical women, are you going to rely on intro's from Agencies, friends or will you attend Evangelical events in BQ? Your path is particularly interesting, being that the normal venues "agency, malls, parites, etc" may not be available to you."

MY RESPONSE:

In my 3 trips to BAQ, I have dealt exclusively with Jamie's agency, International-Introductions.com.  Initially I told Jamie that I was interested in devout Christian women, Evangelical AND Catholic.  

My frist trip I met about 37 women, and dated about 10 (Some catholic, some evangelical).  During this process, I found it more efficient to focus on evangelical women, even though the process would be slower in finding women to meet.

I have gone to church to meet women, in between dates, in which case one of Jamie's translators accompanies me.  That is how I met the girl (on my 1st trip) that precipitated my 2nd trip...

My 2nd trip was to spend time with a specific Evangelical woman.  My 3rd trip (I just got back, too soon to post results :-), was to date a different specific Evangelical woman.

HODA WROTE:

"If it's not too personal to post, what were the differences (beliefs?) between the Catholic & Evangelicals, that lead you to focus on the latter..."

MY RESPONSE:

Disclaimer:  I am posting this because I was ASKED.  In addition, these are MY preferences, and opinions concerning MY choice for a potential wife.  This is NOT meant to be an offense to anyone reading this board.  If my preferences offend you, I apologize in advance...

1. The primary belief AND practice must be a conscious act of accepting Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior, and passionately committed to following the teachings of the Bible, and focusing on Jesus Christ (as opposed to focusing on the virgin Mary, etc.), and sincerely interested in learning more about the Bible.  She must be more interested in pursuing the teachings of the Bible, than church-created traditions (whether Catholic or Evangelical).  

Since the culture is predominantly Catholic, I understand going in that there are many women that may fit this "mold", but simply attend a Catholic church out of tradition, habit, or convenience (proximity).  So I can "work with" a Catholic girl who fits these parameters.

2. Many people are Catholic (or for that matter, "think" they are evangelical Christians), simply by osmosis.  They were (may have been) baptized as infants which required no conscious commitment on their part, and other than an EXTERIOR church ceremony (i.e. "confirmation"), they have not truly made an INTERIOR, CONSCIOUS decision to practice the teachings of Jesus Christ.

For example, one girl I met on my first trip had a SMOKING body.  I tried to bait her with questions just to get her to say the word "God" once, so I could justify dating her :-)  She kept talking about how her "Mom's" and her "family's" commitment to "church" attendance, but no mention of her personal commitment to a relationship with God.

For me faith is an active practice, and not simply a bullet item on my family resume.  Therefore I need a woman who will actively participate in "her" faith, and "our" faith.

3. For most people (Evangelical OR Catholic), the only time they are guaranteed to read the Bible is at church.  Most of the Catholics I have known throughout my life DON'T take their Bible's to church.  This sets a precedent for relying too heavily on the priest, rather than developing their personal relationship with God through the habit of reading His Word (i.e. the Bible).

So I am interested in a woman who has her own initiative to study the Bible, and also along with me.

4. Since I am a preacher, it would be ludicrous for me to be with a woman who thinks that it is God's will for preachers (i.e. priests), not to be married.

[oakham]

... in response to Reply To Frank O RE: Devout Christian La..., posted by Looking4Wife on Aug 3, 2005

You are insightful.  I would tell her its my religion for both of us or no relationship, no marriage. Take it or leave it.  The woman never gets the upper hand. Their faith is really man based.   When you step in their world.  You call the shots.

[Hoda]

... in response to Re: Reply To Frank O RE: Devout Christia..., posted by oakham on Aug 3, 2005

[This message has been edited by Hoda]

oakham,

Not knowing your religious convictions, can we make a possible scenario about religious compatibility in your search?

If...if you & a possible life-mate were both Christians, what would be a possible "deal breaker" in religious compatibility between the two of you? Let me be clear, "this is not" a judgement question on your religious beliefs. thx