Child support to the Philippines

[Mars]

... in response to I vote..., posted by Dave H on Nov 20, 2001

At least I didn't lay in the middle of the road like the nut case I was talking about. Sheesh!! Where is your rationality man?

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: I vote..., posted by Mars on Nov 20, 2001

The lady has a big problem at the moment! Is it perminent, I certainly don't know. I would also like to see the father with the child as long as she is a threat to its safety.

Dave H.

[Mars]

... in response to I agree..., posted by Dave H on Nov 20, 2001

I agree. Cool Man

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Re: Child support to the Philippines, posted by greg on Nov 20, 2001

You said you would never dream of taking your son back to the Philippines because his mom may never allow him to leave again.

I was just curious. Is mom ever going to get to see her son again? I was wondering if you think that would be fair to the mother and your son to keep them apart. Is there a double standard here? Was she a bad mother? Didn’t she let you take him away for the good of her baby? Has she had a change of heart and now wants him back with her? I don’t know, but she sounds like a decent mother.

Not judging you Greg but your post just raised some questions in my mind. Have you made a final decision yet on whether or not to marry his mom?

Ray

[greg]

... in response to Hey Greg, posted by Ray on Nov 20, 2001

Ray, I love my Son's Mommie. I have tried hard to get her here..This would be her third Visa...The problem isn't my Son's mother, it's her family circle. As I said before, she need to annulment her marriage..I would need to send her a large fund, the problem is that I don't know if she would honestly use it for her situation, becuz her family is having tons of problems, her Parents are asking me for money which of course I refuse to give. She tells them everything, I asked her why?? She feel that if they ask, then she must tell. I feel that my Mahal was a better person when she was working abroad and not around her family. I want my Son's Mother to be with us, but she could make things worst, becuz I feel that she only care about her family and not us. It would cost me thousands of dollars to get her here, and it's a big gamble bringing a Pinay here, you don't know how things will turn out, what happened to other Guys Horror stories can happen to any Guy. Yes, I'm afraid, don't want to be made an additional Fool. I already feel like a Fool for sending large amount of allowance to her when she's doing nothing. Would feel more Foolish to bring a Woman here that would make my life worst. Ray, not all Guys are lucky like You. At this point I don't trust sending a large amount of money to her..so things cannot get started until I send the money. She keep lying to me about what she does with money I send, and since her family having all these problems..Why should she use the large amount to solve her annulment? You know its tempting to use it for her family's problems. If I take my Son for a visit, he may not be allowed to leave RP. Sooo really I don't know what to do. Money's not the issue for me, honesty and trust. Btw, I'm doing an excellent job caring for our Son without any help from her, he's a very happy boy and he loves me very much. Yeah, I hope someday to get us together, but she need to start being honest and truthful about all things. Believe it or not..Most Pinays are habit Liars. Mr Peabody

[Ray]

... in response to Hi Ray, posted by greg on Nov 20, 2001

Greg,

It sounds like you’re doing a great job of raising your little one. You also make a good point about the importance of honesty and trust. Unfortunately, I think dishonesty is an imbedded character trait that will probably never go away. What you see is what you get.

As far as the annulment option, I understand your not wanting to send a lot of money for the legal proceedings because of the trust issue. But since you are sending her a decent allowance anyway, maybe you can give her the chance to annul her marriage without sending any more funds. Maybe you could tell her to find a way to pay for a lawyer with the money she is getting from you now. Let her find a more affordable attorney or save up the money she needs from her allowance to pay for the legal costs. That way she has the option to give her money to her family or use it fix her legal problems. Make it her choice which way she wants to go. I think you said you were sending $175 per month? She could likely live comfortably while saving up a good part of that for the legal costs. Unless she decides to give it away, then it’s her problem, not yours. Might just teach her a healthy respect for money? Just throwing some ideas around Greg. You seem to have a good handle on the situation already.

One other thing Greg. Not ALL Pinays are habitual liars. Trust me on that one.

Good luck,

Ray

[greg]

... in response to Re: Hi Ray, posted by Ray on Nov 21, 2001

Thank You sooo much both you and dave made me feel better about my situation. I'm going to copy your letter and use it to write gregory's mother a letter explaining that she need to save from her allowance and solve her annulment herself, that would be proof that she's trying to make an effort to do something herself instead of accepting an easy way out. Yes, I have been sending her an average of $175-$200 per month. She told me that she pay church tithes out of her allowance. She said that her Parents need me to send them $200 to help them pay a important bill, of course I refused. My Mahal started telling me lies to try to get that $200 for her Parents, thats when I decided that I could no longer trust her. In fact she was trying to force me to give it to them with different lies. Her birthday card to our Son was almost two months late, she only use her allowance to email me short letters once a week, I'm only guessing that she use her money to take care of her family, becuz she's always broke. Ray, I am telling you that if it wasn't for my Son, I would leave her alone..I just feel frustrated with her lying to me all the time, I can no longer trust her to tell me the truth about anything. I really wanted to try my best to help her solve her annulment and apply for her third Visa, but her dishonesty is making me feel uncomfortable, she thinks nothing of lying, she even openly tell me how she lies to others. My second trip to be with her really didn't work out good, she really changed from the first time I was with her, I think being around her messy family circle changed her, becuz when I first met her she was fresh out of being overseas for six years. Again I thank you and dave for your good advice. Btw, I'm doing fine with our Son without her, if she was here, she would just be an extra burden, I am saying that she would be a burden if she cannot put us first in her life. Your right, it's wrong for me to say negatives about Pinays just becuz of my Mahal. Mr Peabody

[Dave H]

... in response to Hey Greg, posted by Ray on Nov 20, 2001

As I recall, Greg had said that she was a very good mother. I hope that they are all able to be togther soon. How about an update on little Greg...I miss hearing about him.

Dave H.

[greg]

... in response to I also wonder..., posted by Dave H on Nov 20, 2001

I gave Ray an update on little Peabody on Mag. Ummmm he's doing great had his circumcision on Nov 8th, starts his homecare child development next month December. Dave, I'm changed, he really changed me into a kinder, gentler man lol. He brings Joy and Love to my life, we go lots of places together..I'm now 47, but I feel like a ten year old brat lol..I'm glad that I didn't listen to myself and the board to leave him in RP. His Mother and my family wanted him here, but I had no faith in myself to care for him without his Mommie. I'm glad that I accepted the challenged that was forced on me hehehehehe. You know what??? I find it exciting and fun having a child, of course I wish his Mommie was here with us. I just don't trust sending her thousands of dollars at this point to solve her situation, becuz of her Lying. Yeah, she's a good Pinay, assist Pastor of her Church..but it's her family thats putting alot of pressure on her to Lie. I'm afraid that she would use the funds to solve her situation to help her family, becuz they are in serious need of money. When I feel that she's being honest and truthful, thats when I will send the money. What about You??? I hear nothing about your lovely Mahal..How come she doesn't Post??? Mr Peabody

[Dave H]

... in response to DaveH, You got your purple G string on??..., posted by greg on Nov 20, 2001

Hi Greg,

I'm happy to hear that little Peabody is doing great! Circumcision...ouch! 8o( I think the doctor trimmed too much off of me. LOL It is amazing how kids can change you. Marife and I just got back from baby sitting our 12 day old niece. I am spoiling her already. I agree that you shouldn't waste sending large sums of money until it goes for the purpose you intended. Good Luck Mr Mom!

Dave H.

[Jeff S]

... in response to Kids R Great!, posted by Dave H on Nov 20, 2001

... had a sale on circumcisions - half off!
-- Jeff S.

[Dave H]

... in response to Your folks probably went to a Rabbi who ..., posted by Jeff S on Nov 21, 2001

Hi Jeff,

I think you're right. I know my parents had my brother's and my tonsils taken out at the same time because it was much cheaper than doing them separately, at a later time. Maybe 2 for 1. The trouble was, I didn't have a problem with my tonsils. That's what happens when your father is Scottish.

A Jewish friend recently told me the difference between Jews and Scots. She said that Jews are always trying to get a better deal or a bargain. Scots are just plain cheap! I think that is probably true...I remember coming home one day and seeing my Jewish neighbor with a new toupee. My brother and I were cracking up because it looked like he was wearing a bird's nest on his head. There was way too much hair on top. However, we both agreed that it looked much better than the old one, which had been bleached orange from the chlorine in the swimming pool and the sun. When we went into our house, we were shocked to see our dad wearing the neighbor's old "orange" toupee. The trouble was that my dad had black hair and not orange like some Scots. Now he was orange on top and black on the sides. We began to tell our dad that it looked like shiite. Then he proudly told us that it had originally cost several hundred dollars and that he had literally stolen it for $10 from our neighbor. Fearing a beating, we told him it looked great and got the heck out of there in a hurry. We were relieved a year later when he finally got his "money's worth" out of the old toupee and shaved his head completely.

Dave H.

[Mikey]

... in response to ROFLM"P"O...or what's left of ..., posted by Dave H on Nov 21, 2001

Have mercy.
This post about the Jews vs. the Scots is just TOO funny.

By the way, this board is fantastic ! I just happened by & took a glance. I recently met a Thai girl & have been off & on daydreaming about her ever since. I can tell she's really into money; so I'm sure I couldn't possibly have a serious relationship with her, much less marry her (I've descended from my middle class background to the 'lower class'-Que lastima!). Still, to know her is to love her, ha, ha. She is physically attractive, of course, but so what, y'know? There is just something about her which makes me want to love her. A cuteness, or sweetness, or something. I really barely know her, but one thing which struck me (it's probably just an East/West culture difference) was that she would try to get me to do something I didn't want to do, & when I passionately told her WHY I didn't want to do it, & that I wasn't GOING to do it; instead of getting mad, like I expected her to do, she smiled & laughed in the cutest way imaginable. How can you resist such a gentle girl? Anyway, I know she wouldn't make a good wife; but just knowing her makes me dream of finding an Asian woman for 'true love'.
(Actually, I was also had casual friendships with 2 Chinese women, and had a female Japanese acquaintance, in the past)

[greg]

... in response to Kids R Great!, posted by Dave H on Nov 20, 2001

How will I know she's going to use the money for her situation?? She's the elder child of her family and they expect the eldest to take care of the family right?? I no longer trust her with large amount of money, very tempting for her to use it on her family, so I don't know what to do..

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: Kids R Great!DaveH, posted by greg on Nov 21, 2001

Hi Greg,

I think Ray had a very good idea. You are sending a good amount of money already. Any additional money will be wasted or used for purposes that it was not intended for. I think that she needs to get her priorities straight. Your priority is straight, little Greg. The ball is in her court now. If she really cares about seeing little Greg and you again, she will save the money for the annulment. It's great to see how much you love, cherish, and care for your son. I was one of the ones thinking that the baby belonged with it's mother. There are not too many dedicated fathers in the world. I was wrong in your case. You are a one-in-a- million father. I think that your Mahal is a good mother. After all, she wanted what was best for him and sent him to you to raise, away from the negative family influences and a difficult life. Now she needs to continue to do her part and come back into your lives. It's always great to hear about little Peabody. Good Luck!

Dave H.