Seriously though...I absolutely dislike any woman who uses a man and causes hurt and when I read Howard's post's and more recently, Panther's, I see myself 15 years ago. Much of what they have relayed to us about their ex's is very similar to my experience in many ways. I won't get into specifics here because I would be here all night with my comparitive monologue but let it suffice to say....I remember what it felt like very clearly to have my guts scrambled by these type of women. I did, however, win my battle.... I won absolute custody of my children at a very early age (daughter was 1 1/2, my son, 3), their mother never came around...and they both are super achievers.....gifted musically and artisitically. It was total victory. I thank God every day for my good fortune. I have everything to be thankful for. I guess I get so upset because I see these guys at a point in life I was at at one time. The only reason things turned out like they did though was because I refused to listen to the idiots who advised me to let their mother have them....to let this happen or that not to happen. Had I done that...neither one of my children would be the good person they are today. They would have ended up on the reservation huffing paint. How do I know this? Because my ex had two children already when I met her and today both of them are no good, theiving, drug using slackers. One is now in rehab and the other is in jail. I shudder when I think of what might have been had I let fate take it's course. I am a firm believer that I am an artist in the creation of the memory of my life and the canvas WILL turn out just like I want it to. Howard and Panther deserve no less than I achieved. Howard should dump Ayesa so that he can continue his search for some who will love him and treat him with the respect he richly deserves and Panther, in my opinion, should keep his daughter and raise her up to be a decent young lady. Of course, what these fellows do with their situations is entirely up to them but if they act....their lives (and panthers baby girl life) will turn out just like they hope it does. Sometime you have to make things happen or what you want or expect will never materialize. Again...this is my point of view. Maybe my experiences can help someone. The point is: I am not shoving my opinion down your throat. You can take it or leave it. My feelings on the matter are valid. If you don't agree.....you don't agree. Hey.....