Moving forward-- Reality check

papi

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Moving forward-- Reality check

« Reply #60 on: June 14, 2005, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Moving forward-- Reality ch..., posted by Fuzzyone on Jun 14, 2005

Fuzzy, I would have married the last one had she posted for dinner the day the k1 petition was approved. And Okie thinks he had it bad.


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WS244

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Re: Moving forward-- Reality check

« Reply #61 on: June 14, 2005, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Moving forward-- Reality check, posted by OkieMan on Jun 14, 2005

All women are the same in life, While their cultures may vary, It does not really matter where they are from, how they look, or how much money they have or not have. What does matter is if a man is smart enough to understand that a woman is a woman. Not to be personal, but if you are
a "Candy A?? or Wuss" as some are (not all) on this board, married and unmarried, you will never learn from these sort of fellows. However there are more than a couple of fellows on this board who do nothing but hustle women, and are good at it, whether one agrees with their game or not. These are also the same fellows who could have been married 20 times if it suited them. The hustlers are the guys you can learn from, as they understand women are like cats, and treat them accordingly to which of their 9 lives they happen to be living on any given time of day.


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lapentier

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Re: Re: Moving forward-- Reality check

« Reply #62 on: June 15, 2005, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Moving forward-- Reality check, posted by WS244 on Jun 14, 2005

Like it or not, WS244 is correct on this issue. Sort of like the very fine line between a good salesman and a con artist: the techniques for both are almost the same.

It's like two musicians getting together to discuss instruments. They talk about the technical and aesthetic aspects of the instruments, not the music actually being played, unless it specifically demonstrates the qualities of the instrument.

There is a a lot of good advice here on how to lure, catch, and keep that "fish". You may or may not agree with what they do with the "fish" afterwards, but there is much to be learned about the actual methods of "fishing".

My friend came to me because I have some proficiency in Spanish, I am married to a Filipina, and since the Philippines has a Latin culture, there would be the possibility I would have some understanding of the culture. Honestly, I am here because I don't understand the Latin culture as well as I should to be a good translator that will help him with his chances of success--not hurt his chances.

Unlike some of these guys, I don't think your mistake was to write to a girl for several months, and then go just to visit one girl. If you made an error, it was in not spreading your net wide enough before you selected one specific fish as a keeper.

My friend hasn't found a keeper, yet. In the case of my friend (who can be assured to be lurking somewhere here on the board--my writing is as much or more for him than it is for you), out of a number of correspondents, I have only seen two or three that would even be somewhat compatible with him. He is going to have to try possibly hundreds of correspondents before he finds two or three he with whom he can be comfortable. Also, if she isn't comfortable with you, you won't be comfortable with her either...

Don't give up your search. Do some soul-searching, learn from the others here, and try to learn from your mistakes, and not do them again. But, don't become discouraged; after all, the only player who doesn't make any errors in the game is the one who never gets off the bench.

Know where you are going on the highway of life, and invite someone to go with you!

Best wishes,

Mark


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OkieMan

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Re: Re: Moving forward-- Reality check

« Reply #63 on: June 14, 2005, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Moving forward-- Reality check, posted by WS244 on Jun 14, 2005

WS244,

Thank you for your comments. Based on your profile, we have a few things in common. Even though you are a little older than I am, we are close enough to have come from the same generation. Also, you are from Texas, and I am from Oklahoma. BTW, where in South Texas do you live? I have lived in Texas in the past (Bryan and Conroe to name a few), and I have many relatives in Texas. At any rate, I am not a wuss, and I did not just fall off the "turnip truck". But, I also realize that I have some limitations. The main one is one that I am working on; and that is I need to learn more spanish. Having said that, I don't care who she is, I will not play games with women. It's crap, and I am no good at-- but mainly I have no interest in it! My only desire is to meet a good lady, whom I could love, and get married. I am not the type to "hustle girls" in bars, etc. To me, that falls into the category of "be careful what you wish for, you just might get it"! Bottom line is that true love seems to be more elusive that I would have thought-- especially as I think back over the last 30 years or so.

OkieMan


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WS244

Guest

Re: Re: Re: Moving forward-- Reality check

« Reply #64 on: June 14, 2005, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Re: Moving forward-- Reality check, posted by OkieMan on Jun 14, 2005

Send me your mail address to the one i have posted
ws


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Pete E

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Re: Moving forward-- Reality check

« Reply #65 on: June 14, 2005, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Moving forward-- Reality check, posted by OkieMan on Jun 14, 2005

Amigo,
My imput on latinas in general and a little more specific to your situation.
It can be hard to get imformation out of them,unless they are very interested in you,in which case they will let you know.
So,I would say forget writting,you can get way ahead of yourself with a girl you never met.Or she can too.I think because of the writting she spent alot of time with you.I don't know if she didn't have any chemistry to start with but I think if there was some it went away.
Also,even if there is chemistry you can drive them away.In my opinion you were far too serious too fast to the point of driving her away.She said something like that to Beatriz.You scared her.Even a 35 year old with a kid can be overwhelmed to where she gets the feeling let me out of here.
And you talked her to death,even if with an interpretter.Telling her you didn't have any money it seems like at least 10 times was probably not impressive.You do have money by her standards,but maybe she thought you were actually poor by the time you were through.And on and on and on with everything that came in your mind and then repeating it 5 more times.Not the way to make a good impression.
So,my recommendation.Save your money,study spanish,pimsler tapes are good,I know you do alot of driving,you can use that time.Return to Cali,yes Cali.There are more choices and you need alot more choices to find that one that is truly interested in you.Go to an agency.Meet alot of women.Be a little cool,let them show some interest before you come on with your life story.Find one that really seems interested in you,but then take it slow,don't overwhelm her right away.Let her think she just might have a chance with you,don't throw yourself at her.I made that mistake,turned being pursued in to the pursuer way too fast.I still think there is a possibility the relationship with my wife may have been different if I had let her develop feelings for me,not being so sure of me.I blew that one big time.They loose respect for you.Save the on and on and on stories untill she is commited to you.Listen more,talk less.Thats a good suggestion in general,people get bored talking to someone if they never get to talk.I know you are very verbal like me,I struggle with this too.
Just some things to think about while planning your next trip.I would come back.There is nothing even close for women in my opinion.And I think for a green gringo Cali is the place.Actually I think its the place for about anybody.
Perhaps I should have told you this personally.But I think guys here are trying to understand.I hope you are not offended.I think you can handle it OK or I wouldn't say it.Plus there is a lesson here,lots of guys do something similar.I did.But she married me anyway.Which as everybody knows did not work out.
My girl friends now are crazy about me.Perhaps because they can't have me,at least yet.Both of them treat me extremely well and I think would even if we were commited and got married.The groundwork of respect has been established.It was easy because I was never head over heals with either of them.
My first girlfriend here I actually drove away emmotionally by being too available,giving too much.She was thrilled with me initially,then lost respect for me.Now she would like me back.She knows there will never be another sugar daddy like me.But the sugar daddy she knew is different now.I am a slow learner sometimes.Its not even about knowing better,its about doing better.

Pete


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latinadreaming

Guest

Re: Re: Moving forward-- Reality check

« Reply #66 on: June 15, 2005, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Moving forward-- Reality check, posted by Pete E on Jun 14, 2005

Just wanted to say that this is a ALL-STAR post. The secret to success. Can't tell you how many times I really wanted a woman in Cali but I saw no interest from her and I quickly moved on. However, in Cali, as it should be everywhere actually, you move on quickly. Another beautiful woman is walking down the street. You will find another one quickly that is interested in you and beautiful too!! Many, many, many beautiful women. Also I am thinking of the ones that showed interest in me and I did not. Some of the most hottest girls you ever want to see. I have to agree with Pete on this--the beauty of Cali is you have the quantity of women and the trick is to learn how to pick the right ones for you.This can take a while, and this is the wisdom of the experiece guys.

My first trip to Cali I went to LE:

Stage 1. Could not believe that so many beautiful women could be in one city. I was in a state of shock.

Stage 2. Really could not believe that so many beautiful were interested in me!

Stage 3. I was "heaven" just going out each and every night with all these beautiful woman. I was having a ball.

Stage 4. You start waking up to how the women are treating you. You act accordly. This can take some time. I was lucky in that I had friends from Cali that would keep me straight on the tricks on the Calenas. I only lost a few days pursuing bad relationships because of my friends.

Stage 5. You understand how to take your time; enjoy the whole experience (good or bad). Enjoy the people, the culture, and expecially, the women!! This is so much fun!!

Also, the number of so-called unsuccessful guys that post here, but one thing that I have never seen discussed on this board is how many latina hearts the gringos have broken. Many gringos break a lot of latina hearts as well.


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Pete E

Guest

We have our stories,so do the women

« Reply #67 on: June 15, 2005, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Re: Moving forward-- Reality check, posted by latinadreaming on Jun 15, 2005

New guys can be vulnerable coming here before they figure things out.But the women can be vulnerable too.Most are looking for a good serious guy.A guy can say just what they want to hear and have them at his mercy.Some guys consciously,like married guys coming here.Other guys less consciously who just fall in love with every chica then don't follow through.I met several ladies at agencies that were extremely interested in me.I lead them to believe I was too,because I was in a way.But not serious enough to follow up considering my other choices. I feel a little bad about that,I didn't handle it right.They were probanbly sitting by their phone for a week.One woman called me a week later,I was trying to explain in my poor spanish.She just hung up on me.I could almost hear the
F--K YOU through the dead phone.
But I never seriouly led anyone along.

Pete


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latinadreaming

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Re: We have our stories,so do the women

« Reply #68 on: June 15, 2005, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to We have our stories,so do the women, posted by Pete E on Jun 15, 2005

I have done the same thing! My point is that this goes both ways. I have met some guys who just come down for the intention of seeing how many they can get into bed. This is not the norm however, most guys that go to agencies are looking for wife, but it happens.


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Looking4Wife

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Re: Re: Moving forward-- Reality check

« Reply #69 on: June 15, 2005, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Moving forward-- Reality check, posted by Pete E on Jun 14, 2005

Pete, I like your quote very much:

"Its not even about knowing better,its about doing better"

This has a lot of applications... both practical and spiritual...


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doombug

Guest

Re: Re: Moving forward-- Reality check

« Reply #70 on: June 14, 2005, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Moving forward-- Reality check, posted by Pete E on Jun 14, 2005

What you wrote reminds me of this scene from the hilarious comedy, "Swingers." Mike is the best friend who is having a horrible time meeting women. He's a little too talkative, a little too needy, and little too respectful. Yet, one evening, he successfully exchanges phone numbers with a woman at a bar, and this is how things unfold:

MIKE'S APARTMENT - LATER THAT NIGHT

Mike opens the door and flicks on the lights in his sparsely
furnished single.

He drops his keys on the table and makes a bee line to the
answering machine.

He pushes the button.

ANSWERING MACHINE
(synthesized voice)
She didn't call.

Mike collapses into his futon and lights a smoke.

Beat.

He pulls out the COCKTAIL NAPKIN. He stares at the number.

He looks at the clock. 2:20 AM.

He looks at the napkin.

He thinks better of it, and puts the napkin away.

Beat.

He takes out the napkin and picks up the phone.

ANSWERING MACHINE
(synthesized voice)
Don't do it, Mike.

MIKE
Shut up.

He dials.

It rings twice, then...

NIKKI
(recorded)
Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
(beep)

MIKE
Hi, Nikki. This is Mike. I met you
tonight at the Dresden. I, uh, just
called to say I, uh, I'm really glad we
met and you should give me a call. So
call me tomorrow, or , like, in two days,
whatever. My number is 213-555-4679...
(beep)

Mike hangs up.

Beat.

He dials again.

NIKKI
(recorded)
Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
(beep)

MIKE
Hi, Nikki. This is Mike, again. I just
called because it sounded like your
machine might've cut me off before I gave
you my number, and also to say sorry for
calling so late, but you were still there
when I left the Dresden, so I knew I'd
get your machine. Anyway, my number
is...
(beep)

Mike calls back right away.

NIKKI
(recorded)
Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
(beep)

MIKE
213-555-4679. That's all. I just wanted
to leave my number. I don't want you to
think I'm weird, or desperate or
something...
(he regrets saying it
immediately)
... I mean, you know, we should just
hang out. That's it. No expectations.
Just, you know, hang out. Bye.
(beep)

He hangs up.

Beat.

He dials.

NIKKI
(recorded)
Hi. This is Nikki. Leaves a message.
(beep)

MIKE
I just got out of a six-year
relationship. Okay? That should help to
explain why I'm acting so weird. It's
not you. It's me. I just wanted to say
that. Sorry.
(pause)
This is Mike.
(beep)

He dials again. There's no turning back.

NIKKI
(recorded)
Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
(beep)

MIKE
Hi, Nikki. This is Mike again. Could you
just call me when you get in? I'll be up
for awhile, and I'd just rather talk to
you in person instead of trying to
squeeze it all...
(beep)

He dials yet again.

NIKKI
(recorded)
Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
(beep)

MIKE
Hi, Nikki. Mike. I don't think this is
working out. I think you're great, but
maybe we should just take some time off
from each other. It's not you, really.
It's me. It's only been six months...

NIKKI
(Live, in person. she picks
up the line)
Mike?

MIKE
Nikki! Great! Did you just walk in, or
were you listening all along?

NIKKI
(calmly)
Don't call me ever again.

MIKE
Wow, I guess you were home...
(click)

She hung up on him.

He's frozen.

He hangs up.

Beat.

He pulls the comforter off the futon and curls up in the
corner of the room.


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OkieMan

Guest

Re: Re: Re: Moving forward-- Reality check

« Reply #71 on: June 14, 2005, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Re: Moving forward-- Reality check, posted by doombug on Jun 14, 2005

Doombug,

That was a funny routine. I guess I am not familiar with that show. Well, I want you to know that I have nothing in common with that guy. I live in Beverly Hills (Oklahoma), I have a full time butler and a maid. I talk to Donald Trump twice a week, and Steven Speilburg is coming over to "do lunch"! ha ha Seriously, thanks for the jokes. It was funny.

OkieMan


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doombug

Guest

Re: Re: Re: Re: Moving forward-- Reality check

« Reply #72 on: June 14, 2005, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Moving forward-- Reality ch..., posted by OkieMan on Jun 14, 2005

It's one of my favorite movies.

I've been in a few similar situations like Mike's phone call, and the movie just parodies such male foibles.


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OkieMan

Guest

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Moving forward-- Reality check

« Reply #73 on: June 14, 2005, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Moving forward-- Realit..., posted by doombug on Jun 14, 2005

Doombug,

If you enjoy comedies, did you ever see Tom Selleck in Her Alibi? That was made in the late '80's. It is hysterical, and the girl in the movie is hot! I believe she is an Eastern European model. But, the story line of the movie is very creative and absolutely funny.

OkieMan


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doombug

Guest

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Moving forward-- Reality check

« Reply #74 on: June 14, 2005, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Moving forward-- Re..., posted by OkieMan on Jun 14, 2005

No, I haven't. But, thanks for the tip. Old Tom Hanks movies are awesome, and I'd thought I'd seen them all.


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