I have a follow up question to the other threads posted here.  By the way, I know this has all been discussed before.  But, humor me.  There have been many discussions about how sexy the latinas are; but there are also many discussions about how to properly treat her.  They obviously have a different attitude, culture and language than the american women.  So, having said that; I need to get your opinions on how they view themselves, and what they want.  For instance, we know that they dress very sexy; but they also want to be treated like a lady-- and I totally agree.  I would never want to mistreat or abuse one of those sweet ladies.  But, I am still trying to figure out what they want from us?   Surely, they must know that they are drawing attention to themselves?  So, what kind of attention do they want?   One the one hand, they want to be respected and loved. The latinas are certainly not happy with latin men, in their own respective countries.  They don't like the unfaithfulness, etc.   The way I have always tried to treat any lady is with respect.  But, having said that, many men on this board have shared their stories with how their lady dresses (sexy); or maybe they have commented on sexy latinas in general.  I know that their manner of dress can often send mixed signals to us.  Low cut blouses, short skirts, see through clothes.  I am not complaining.  I love it!  But can any of you share your prospective about what the latinas are thinking?  If I were in their shoes, and I was considering wearing those wonderful sexy clothes; I would be certainly hoping that men would flirt with me, ask me out-- and yes, I would expect that many men would be trying to get in my pants! I know that I sound like an american man-- guess what, I am!  When I go to Cali next month, my intentions are to spend some time with at least one calena.  If that does not work out, then more.  I will try to always be a gentleman, etc.  But, I am still learning about the mindset of the latinas.  I will refer to Pete's earlier post about his attractive 23 year old maid.  Good Lord.  I can't imagine here in the States having a 23  year old girl as a maid.  Especially if she has the kind of body that Pete described.  Pete admitted that he groped her butt when she was playing with his chest hair. It all sounds like innocent fun.  But, still Pete felt like she did not want to be touched, and he apologized.  But, at the same time, she is still "strutting her stuff" for him and others to notice.  It just seems a little confusing that's all.  But, one way or the other, I am committed to doing my best to understand.  

                              OkieMan

... in response to Advice and Learning Spanish , posted by Jamie on Apr 27, 2005

[This message has been edited by jediknight]

okie and everyone else in the same boat, not knowing spanish or having limited knowledge if the language should not deter you from flying down to colombia/latin america and looking for the woman of your dreams. if you wait until you are somewhat fluent in the language, it will only postpone your trip for a few years and that is not something anyone should do. make the trip, use an agency, interpreter, friend, dictionary but go down and see for yourself if you think this could be the path to your happiness. it takes a lot for someone to goto latin america with limited spanish skills and i think its great that there are men that aren't afraid of doing so as to experience the beauty of latin america.

what i find appalling and offensive is that jaime(and there are others that agree with him) will want you to believe that it is NOT important to learn spanish AT ALL, as far as he is concerned if you want to learn that's ok but not necessary, i disagree. i feel that whether its at the beginning before your trip, during the courtship or after you are married, at some point it is important to know spanish well enough to say more than hello, pleased to meet you. his excuses are that it's not practical...like it's practical to fly to another country, spend time and thousands of dollars to MAYBE meet someone to spend the rest of your life with and when you do find her to spend more time and thousands more to get her here. why do all of that when you can find a latina here locally, who will already know more english than the women in south america? because they might be americanized? because you won't have as much control over them?...yes very practical indeed. other excuses are there isn't enough time in a day, time will be better spent on teaching your wife english and the best one of all....it can even hurt you... give me a break. with this kind of mentality your latina girlfriend/wife shouldn't even bother learning english because there will be misunderstandings, misinterpretations when she will try to say anything to you, God forbid that should happen, that's a great reason not to learn another language....excuses.

he says that if you don't want to learn spanish it won't hinder your success...well this all depends on how you define and measure success. if getting married to a latina is success then you won't need to learn spanish at all because there are many women who will declare their undying love and want to marry you as soon as you step off the plane without knowing a thing about you. a smile, nice clothes, and a job will be enough to land a woman, just ask yourself what kind of a woman would do that? desperate? foolish? naive? not knowing spanish should not stop you from flying down and meeting the woman you've been in communication with or wanting to meet someone from an agency but to expect to find a woman with little or no english skills and expect her to do ALL of the work in learning english so that you can have a meaningful conversation her without the need of an interpreter is absurd.

if you expect your wife to learn english, you should be able to learn spanish. it may not be a necessity to learn spanish to meet someone initially but after dating and getting married i think its important, plus this falls under growing as a person, not being selfish, self centered, learning about her through her language and respecting her, her family and background.  how do you expect to communicate with her family when visiting them or calling that part of your wife that is so important to her? do you expect her entire family to learn english? in the beginning your wife will help but she and her family will respect you more if your learn. it's possible that you may find a woman that won't care about this, won't care about you not being able to say more than "hola" to her family but all of the women that i've met have loved the fact that i can have a conversation with their parents, grandparents, cousins, friends, entire family.....necessary...no, but my girlfiend loves that i can go out with her father and talk about anything, that at parties i'm not sitting there smiling, not knowing what they are saying,out of respect for her and her family you should learn her native language. i agree that it is not a necessity in the beginning, but one should be ashamed of themselves for not putting in the time to learn her language over time. this idea of not having time to learn is bs, just an excuse to justify not wanting to learn.  watching the news in spanish, getting cd's, videos, listening to tapes in the car, whatever will make it easier for you, a little everyday will add up and your wife can help you just like you'll be helping her with her english.

i agree with jaime that what is important to one person may not be to another, you will have to decide for yourself but i find it pitiful that the only spanish he feels he needs are the words used in the bedroom. only jaime, being in colombia, surrounded by the language every minute of every day can manage to screw up something as simple as saying hotel del prado and having the cab driver understand hotel dan carlton, that's like a latina coming here and asking for a coca cola and getting pepsi,canada dry or gingerale, shameful.

... in response to Re: Advice and Learning Spanish , posted by jediknight on Apr 28, 2005

Good points jediknight. I am planning on learning Spanish, as like you say it will be greatly appreciated by your Latina girlfriend/wife and her family etc. Besides what is wrong with learning something new it is great for your soul.

... in response to More about what latinas want - long post, posted by OkieMan on Apr 26, 2005


Back away from the keyboard & start working on your spanish! Take your narra behhind down to a Spanish themed restaurant and/or food market & practice. Hearing nothing but Spanish being used, will help train your ears, mind & mouth. Don't make me suspend you from posting until you go!

Just kidding :-)

From the heart Okie...there is no way possible for you to prepare for everything, that you'll experience with Latinas or how you'll fit into their lives & culture. Trust me...after your first interaction, you won't remember shit you posted.

NOW GET GOING OR GET BANNED...LMAO!

... in response to More about what latinas want - long post, posted by OkieMan on Apr 26, 2005

[This message has been edited by jediknight]

okie, relax, take a deep breath, you're thinking way too much about this when you should be spending your time doing something that is much more important than looking for answers here and that is learning spanish, not only for the obvious reasons but because the answers to all of these questions that you're coming up with are waiting for you in colombia, you should be ready and able to ask the girls that you'll be meeting everything that is on your mind and chances are you will get a variety of answers, it all depends on the girl you're interested in.

part of the fun is going to colombia and being inquisitive, asking questions, don't go down there assuming that you know a lot just because your read it here, you need to experience it for yourself and that is where knowing the language will come in handy. i'm fluent in spanish and this, plus my steller personality have been the keys to my success, i could not imagine having the kind of girlfriend that  i have without having been able to ask her probing questions,understanding her responses, understanding what she wants now and for the future, making sure she knows what i want and need so there are no surprises. if anyone tells you that knowing spanish is not important, they are full of **it, it is very important.
JK

... in response to More about what latinas want - long post, posted by OkieMan on Apr 26, 2005

New poster, but a long time lurker of this board and it has help me quite a bit.  I have used most of the agencies in Cali and know most of the players.

However, to put my two cents in -- I hate generalizations, but I would say that culturally latinas expect men to be men and lead and be strong but not domineering, and definitely not weak.  They liked to be romanced!!  !!  Be yourself, respect the culture, and her family and you will be fine.  The traits that I love the most about latin women are: they love to dress, act like, and want to be looked at as a desirable -- woman.
Many AW's dress like men or dont fixed themselves up at all.

I think all the treads I read were right on with the advice that was given to you.  Sometime you can over think this process and not let the “experience” happen to you.  Go with the thoughts of having a fun vacation, meet one or more wonderful women and enjoy the culture and the coffee!!

... in response to More about what latinas want - long post, posted by OkieMan on Apr 26, 2005

Okie, you are over-analyzing this too much. You aren't going to get a definite answer on any of this stuff. You have to just get here to Cali and experience. Besides, everyone on here has had different experiences to your questions.
Like Chris F. said, just study your Spanish. That's the best thing you can do. You'll be here soon enough and you'll see for yourself wha tthe women are like. There's no amount of info you can mine from this board that will take the place of actual experience.
It's like I've tried to explain to my friends who have never been here about Cali over the years. It's like trying to explain what it's like on Venus. Unless you have actually been here, something gets lost in the translation. I try telling my 48 year old divorced brother about beautiful 20 something Latinas throwing themselves at you. There is no basis for comparison for him so he just sees it as a nice fantasy/story.
You'll have a different outlook when you get back from your trip to Cali. There isn't a point in asking folks how Latinas view us or what a Latina wants, etc, etc because that answer is going to be different with each guy. Your answer will be different as well.
Learn that Spanish.
Out,
K

... in response to Re: Re: More about what latinas want - l..., posted by Jake on Apr 26, 2005

Jake,

Thanks for your insight.  Believe me, I am working on it.  I will stop asking all the questions and just prepare for my trip. As to your last question; there are several reasons.  One is money, but the other is that one of my sons spent two tours in Iraq.  I did not want to be out of country while my son was fighting a war.  He is getting out of the Marine Corps this week.  He served his country well, but after 4 years of that, I am ready for him to come home.  There have been other factors which i won't go into, but I think you understand.

                      OkieMan