Previously, I had always used agencies, but this time I began contacting women through amigos.com and match.com international since January. I made many great contacts; many have since faded away. However, one in particular has flourished. Random e-mails turned into daily conversations through MSN Messenger. Due to the time difference, I would log on to MSN around 6 A.M. and we’d spend about 30 minutes writing each other. I also began calling her on the weekends and now call her about 2 to 3 times a week. She has put forth the effort that so many of the other women I’ve been interested in have not. As an example, she requested her two-week annual vacation to coincide with my trip to Medellin so we could spend more time together.

A little background on Sandra: she is a beautiful 24 year-old Paisa with a great body, tan skin and long black hair; university graduate with a full-time business career. Sandra is divorced and has a one year-old daughter. She is an only child and lives with her parents. She is intelligent, extroverted, sweet, considerate, family-oriented…a real gem. A month into having known each other, she suspended her profile on match.com.

Now here is where I would benefit from different perspectives and your experiences since I’ve never pursued a woman with a child. She has mentioned her desire to travel with me to places that I want to visit like Parque del Café, Santa Fé de Antioquia and Jardín. I’m excited, but her one-year old daughter will be joining us. Should I insist she leave her daughter with her parents? Does this make sense to you guys? My ideal woman would be an excellent mother like Sandra. However, this situation is new to me and feels a bit awkward. I’m curious to know how you guys would handle a similar situation.

Utopiacowboy, if you read this post, can you ask your wife if travelling with a one year-old daughter makes sense from her perspective. Did you two always go out as a family? Did you travel with your wife outside of Medellin when you were dating? Did you take the kids? Thanks!

I just wanted to say that I hope it goes well for you.

I am slowly thinking of putting Medellin on my radar. I hope you post a report.

Have fun!

V-Dude

Dude! I have some Juanes tickets for Saturday night... 4th row! Well it's about as close as I can get to Medellin. If you need me to grab a shirt for you to bring to your girl let me know. (Seriously) You would have to meet up with me on Sunday before going, but I could swing it.

I think I am going to load up on trinkets for my trips. Maybe buy a bunch of Juanes concert key chains. The chicks dig em!

V-Dude

I am heading to Peru in 3 weeks and I have no prospects there. I had one, but she is not panning out. I'm not sure where yet, but I want to go back down in July and September, so I'm planning on buying a few things to pass out along my travels.

As you can imagine, I have been a hit on the chat circuit the last couple days by saying I am going to Juanes tomorrow.
haha!

V-Dude

I would travel with only her if possible.  You need time to be with her alone.  If the child is there, then she's most likely going to spend 60 to 70 percent of her time with the baby.  I would try to be with her initially.  Oh, a similar thing happened to me when I was in Barranquilla.  The girl was playing me like a fiddle.  I am now corresponding with a great lady from the Dominican Republic.  Good luck in Medellin.

Dolphin.

now to your question, should you insist that she leave her daughter with her parents...no way, do not insist and don't even suggest it. understand that sandra is a young woman with her first child, a one year old is still a newborn so my guess is that she is very attached to her baby, a baby who is her number one priority at this moment. leaving her baby with her parents while she is out with you could make her feel guilty and she'll be thinking about her child instead of focusing on you. while it might not seem like a big deal to leave her baby with her parents, you should also think about what her parents will say or think. in colombia appearances are important and it might not appear alright to her parents if their recently divorced daughter goes out and leaves her newborn behind with them. over the top? a bit dramatic? perhaps but you should be prepared for her parents reaction, my guess is that her parents will want to know you first before offering to watch the baby.. and this is important, if they like you they will offer, you should not insist. also ask yourself if you really want to become involved with a woman with a child because that child is always going to be there.

if your answer is yes then having the baby with you should not feel awkward, you should welcome it, especially on this first trip to meet her, you need to see how sandra is with her baby, how she is as a mother and she needs to see how you are with her baby also, to see if you are father material, if you have the patience and understanding needed to get involved with both of them. this will also be a test for you to see if you are really ready to get involved with someone elses baby. by the way, what relationship does she have with the babys father? is he involved in the babys life? i don't know if this is an issue but if things work out, will you need the fathers permission to bring the baby to the US? is that requiered?
good luck
JK

Sandra is an intelligent woman and it had not occurred to me that bringing the baby along would allow her to test my patience and understanding with her daughter, like you mentioned. You're right; this will also test my willingness to accept her daughter too.

As far as the baby's father, they separated when she was only two months pregnant. I know he has not contributed a cent towards the baby's needs. Sandra is currently suing the father to obtain sole custody of the child. This was occurring before I even came into the picture. Normally, the father's permission would be required for the child to leave the country. However, if Sandra wins sole custody, then I believe it won't be necessary. I'm wondering if things work out between Sandra and me, if I would also have to legally adopt the child in Colombia.

You were the one that brought the serenade to your woman in Baranquilla, right? That story was one of the most memorable ones I've read here at PL. Sounds like both of you are very lucky. I'll keep you guys posted. Thanks again.