The wedding was incredible. Marissa and I spent days preparing for it. Funny way to spend the first few weeks you are with someone – preparing for a wedding but that was the way it worked out.
First I’d like to thank Paulv for coming to be my best man. He is actually strange how Marissa and Anna knew each other and Paulv and I was aware of each other from post here on Planet-Love and Mag-Anak. I didn’t even realize it until Marissa pointed it out. At first he thought he would be unable to make it but then he managed to get the time and tickets so it worked out well for Marissa and I and I’d dare say Anna was thrilled about it as well.
I guess the wedding needs to start out with the sponsors. Catholic traditions in the P.I.s require that members of the community sponsor you or support you in your marriage so that it have a better chance of success. Due to the problem of PDA’s we had some problems getting started on meeting the sponsors. So that once the wedding site was determined I decided to have a big 'Sponsors Party' for all the sponsors so that we could meet them and get their approval instead of going to each ones house and meeting them individually. All ten sponsors, Marissa’s parents, Paulv and Anna, and Marissa and I went to a restaurant called Molarve for dinner. I actually got Marissa to wear a dress and I bought matching shirt and pants to compliment her outfit. Everyone was saying 'Gwapo (handsome)' and 'Maganda (pretty)' to Marissa and I. I was surprise when we got there I told everyone to order from the menu and it would be covered. I had a momentary pause at my generosity but then thought how much could it cost we were in the P.I.s. Since the next day was Marissa’s father’s birthday we surprised him with a birthday cake and a candle on it (my idea like they do here in the states). He was very honored that we honored him in front of such pillars of the community, the sponsors. Everyone was happy and the party a big success. When it was all over I paid an equivalent of $26 noting that 14 of the 16 participants had steak. Everyone thought the idea for a Sponsors Party was a stroke of genius that cleared up 5 days work in 2 hours.
I thought I’d be on a limited budget so I had Marissa get me an estimate of the costs so I’d know how much to bring and how much to allow her to spend on the wedding. She worked very hard to keep the cost under control and did much of the work herself. I am truly impressed with her abilities and determinations. I think that once organized she is a force to be recognized. I even brought her a planner from the USA to help her stay organized. We used the Franklin Planner technique to keep things organized. That is where you list everything you need to do on a sheet of paper then put an 'A' by the things you had to do today. A 'B' by the things you would like to get done today and a 'C' by the things that are left. You then put numbers by the things in the 'A' group ending up with an 'A1' by the first thing you need to do and so on.
I was somewhat concerned about the wedding dress and rings because they had to be ordered before I got there and that meant that her parents had to allow her to begin to prepare for a wedding even though she and they had not been asked yet. She also had to get all the brides maid and grooms to be fitted as well. All this was before I asked formally for her hand in marriage. BTW, she refused to consider a marriage request over the computer or on the phone – it had to be in person. An as I said in chapter 2, I really didn’t ask her it just happened. I felt pretty guilty about this so I did find the time to get on my knee and ask her. At first I teased her and said I wasn’t going to ask I was just going to marry her but then I did and she answered 'yes'.
Marissa and I got the paper for the invitations at the National Book Store at Gorietta Mall and then took the paper out to the printers to be printed. When we got there Marissa said, “Write our vows!” I was in shock! I was expected to come up with wedding vows “off the cuff” in a matter of minutes as well as a “thank you” to our parents. Talk about pressure. I pleaded for a few weeks but we only had minutes. So this is it…..
We know each other. We have for eternities untold.
But each day we seek each other anew
Our love magnifying and edifying each other
Providing, protecting and encouraging
Lifting our hearts in service to each other
May all be blesses with love as the love we have for each other.
And the Thank you for the parents.
We thank you for the life you have given us
Strong and firm but always loving
You have always been there
We praise our heavenly Father for you
And will endeavor to raise our family with the example you have given.
The invitations had a very nice aroma – I think it was lavender. Everyone who was to participate in the wedding was mentioned on the invitation. It included all the sponsors, bride maids, grooms, best man, maid of honor, parents (living and deceased), and any participants such as the flower girls and ring bearers. I even had her add at the bottom “and a special thanks to the guys at www(dot)planet-love(dot)com”. I was surprise at how the invitations were distributed. Not mailed like her in the States but literally handed out. Of course with such short notice and the fact that the wedding was on a national religious holiday a lot of people who would have come were not notified. Many of her friends from school. Even so we had a very good turnout.
The church was a whole story of its own. Our chaperone got us booted from it for “PDA’s”. Then we managed to get that corrected by my apologizing to everyone for not understanding the consequences of “PDA’s”. The because I am LDS and she was Catholic we were refused again only to get a call after we arranged to be married at a reception hall of the hotel that the priest changed his mind. The church was on the grounds of one of the police compounds so I think we were all pretty well protected. I think that we owe a lot to Marissa’s Cousin Jena for helping us arrange to use the church for the wedding. So if any of you are interested let me know. Her daughter wants to meet my son and we are trying to arrange that now. The church was completely opened to the outside and had no “aircon” but there were lots of fans. It was somewhat circular in shape.BTW, Jena is a single mother and a police officer studying law. She should be able to practice law as soon as she passes the bar. She mentioned that is I could get her a husband here she’d really appreciate it. Her husband was killed and she has been raising her family alone since.
The reception was at “Orange Grove Hotel”. It was pretty near the church so I suspect that it was the reason that it was picked. At first I was pretty pleased with their costs and preparation but in the end they forgot to give us the registration book and doubled our charges for “extras”. I got the largest suite/room for the honeymoon and I am glad I did because there were probably 25 people in it at one point. Half the people who were to participate in the wedding I think showed up and took a shower there. The make-up was also done for all the girls and I was allowed to get dressed there as well. Privacy? What’s that?
The flowers took several trips to the mall to arrange because we were constantly having to change were the wedding was going to be held. Marissa and most other Filipinas like roses. Their country is flooded with orchids that are exotic and rare to us here but to them they don’t see roses and they want roses. Marissa’s bouquet was a combination of white pink red and yellow roses. It was very beautiful. All the guys wore pink/purple orchids and the church and reception halls were decorated with roses.
The cake was the most beautiful I have ever seen. It was truly a work of art. Many layers put into a sweeping design that covered the whole table. I hope I can show some pictures of this awesome cake but I am not sure yet. My camera ran out of film and I have to get the wedding pictures scanned.
Pictures! Did I say pictures! There were so many people taking pictures I wondered were they came from and why? Paulv and James (another Mag-anaker) took pictures. The official photographer and the video maker also. But there were at least two others photographers taking pictures that we didn’t recognize. As we were leaving the reception I noticed a table with pictures on it from the wedding. I was thrilled because I was able to get pictures of the wedding that I brought home with me. Marissa and I didn’t know the guy who took the pictures but I think he must have been part of the hotel.
The rings were 18c gold and very well done. They were made by one of Marissa’s teachers. Each had our names engraved in it. There were no engagement rings only wedding bands and they are general kept pretty simple. Ours had some pretty nice designs engraved on them.
We rented a car and a van to move the wedding party around. I first used it to go to the chapel and await the bride then Marissa’s parents used it to come to the church then Marissa used it to come last of course (all ways late –lol). The van was used to take every one back to the hotel and then after the reception to another reception at her parent’s house. The car was decorated with flowers just as the church and reception hall – everything in pink roses. The drivers cheated me out of 400 pesos at the end and if they hadn’t I probably would have given it to them for a tip but that’s what they got.
The only mistake we made was the candles. We forgot to order new ones for the front of the church. Hey if it wasn’t on my list how would I know?
The Hotel, Orange Grove actually did a great job with the exception of leaving out the registration book. Plus they charged me for tables to hold the lechon we bought for the event.
I think I never smiled so much as I did at the wedding. I was just incredibly happy. Everything was just plain wonderful. I talked with everyone and was surprised that so many “Mag-anakers” showed up. I credit that to Paulv and Anna letting them all know.
When Marissa showed up (late as usual – but only 25 minutes) I was just having the best high of my life. The weather was hot and humid but the fans made it more than bearable. The decorations were very appropriate and stunning. First Paulv lead the way then me. From the front of the church I could see all that was happening. I watched the sponsors all come in and take their seats of honor on the first rows. Then the bridesmaids and grooms came in followed by the flower girls and ring bearers (several of the younger kids where assisted – isn’t it cute!!). I saw Em and Paul over on the grooms side hugging and I then turned and saw Marissa coming down the isle with her father. Her dress was gorgeous in white and pink with her bouquet of roses. The veil and gown trail went half way down the isle and it took several girls to assist in moving it around. Gossssh she always says. She was so beautiful. She looked up at me and said “What?” I couldn’t stop looking at her. I think she looked up at me several times and said “What?” trying to figure out that smile I had on my face. It really was the most beautiful site I had ever seen in my whole life.
The wedding went very smoothly with the only mistake being I had to be told to put Marissa’s fathers hand to my forehead – hey we didn’t practice the wedding the night before. When the ceremony neared completion and we would be allowed to kiss I looked at Marissa and she begged me not to kiss her to long. I told her that we were going to have our first argument at the altar on how long we could kiss and said I’d kiss her for a count of ten. She frowned and I said okay 3 – she smiled. We then kissed.
Then came the picture taking and paper signing. All the sponsors and participants had to sign as well as Marissa and I. I think we took 3 dozen poses from the altar with everyone who attended the wedding. But it was okay my smile never waned and neither did hers – we were clearly very happy. Finally we were told to be the last to return to the reception hall/hotel. It was funny everyone left the wedding then we did? When we got to the reception hall we had to wait downstairs for a few minutes because most of the people had not gone to the reception hall yet but had waited out front to meet and congratulate us. We had to encourage then to hurry up to the reception so we could “arrive”.
Upon entering Marissa got a big surprise! Each of the five Bride’s maid/groom couples barred our way. We were not allowed to pass until each of them observed us kiss. At each we had to turn to each other, embrace and kiss. I loved it but Marissa was clearly embarrassed. After the last kiss we entered the hall and everyone stood and clapped. We were lead to the table of honor.
The reception was great. Paulv and Anna were acting as my parents for the event. They and Marissa’s parents were seated at tables to the side and slightly behind Marissa and I. In front of us were the tables with the Sponsors of the wedding and then the bride’s maids and grooms were at a table off the left with a few other guests. I was really surprised at the number of Mag-anakers there. Five couples including Paulv and Anna, Em and Paul, and James and Lisa and others.
The reception from that point on went like most receptions do. We have a few announcements, ate a very large meal, had the customary shoving of the cake in each other’s face and the drinking of wine. We had a dance of which before we could dance the emcee insisted we kiss at least two more times. Several people including Marissa’s father some of the sponsors, Paulv and Anna, some of Marissa’s friends got up and spoke and/or sang (Marissa sang with them of course). I spoke last. I thanked “Mom and Dad for their daughter”, the sponsors for honoring us with their support and the guest for making this a wonderful day and it was over.
We had to leave there and go to Marissa’s parent’s house for another reception because several of her family members were so poor that they refused to come to the reception. I spent P6K on Marissa’s family’s clothes because they were too embarrassed to come also.
Finally we left her parent’s house and went to our suite. She was hurrying us up all the way at her parent’s house. I really think she wished we did not have to go there and I was concerned about her wearing that gorgeous wedding gown and climbing that mud hill to her parent’s house. There were family members there though that were very happy we made a show for their sakes. I know Marissa’s parents were happy about it too.
Coming Chapter 5: Manila, Davao, and Cebu Comparison (which includes what I wish I had done different)
