... in response to how much to put in her checking account, posted by dann on Jan 23, 2005Good question. Does she have any idea of what things cost here? And, how was she accustomed to living in her own country?
These factors would weigh heavily for me if I were in your shoes.
I wouldn't look over the idea of giving her money directly when she arrives; nor would I look over the idea of her having a bank account.
However, I think taking her shopping for the big ticket items (e.g., clothing, a first run on cosmetics, assesories, etc.) would be best in the beginning to help her learn how much things cost and what is reasonable spending for your budgets. That will expose her to the reality of the situation up front. I wouldn't just rely on depositing a couple of hundred in her bank account in the beginning. That could back fire by her spending too much money too quickly, whether it be intentional or unintentional. Of course, she's probably a good person, but there is still that learning curve, and temptation to buy things.
After she gets the swing of things, then encourage her to rely on the money in her bank account more, and less on asking you directly for money on a daily basis.
Ok. I'll be a daredevil and throw a number out there. Say for example, after paying monthly for her healthcare coverage (which may come directly out of your check), groceries and healthcare products for the both of you, maybe money for public transportation for her, and English classes, if you can afford $300 to $400 a month during the first year then that would be reasonable. I am assuming that you'll be covering all other expenses for the household as well.
I think for the first year, it would be good for a lady to become comfortable with her surroundings, learn the language, and maybe start working a part-time job. Once she has settled, like during the second year, then she can contribute more financially for the both of you.
I can remember one girl I dated for 6 months, Colombiana. She expected for me to take care of her, and her family
(parents, brothers, and sisters) in Colombia, both before and after she would arrive. She had a body to die for, but I just couldn't stay in the relationship under those conditions.
I can be responsible for my partner, but when the family wants $$$, then I can't handle that. So, I feel if a lady wants to help her family financially, then she should work ASAP, and send some of the money that she earns back to them.
Take Care,
Aaron
