It dosn't allways translate!!

[jim c]

    My novia spoke execelent english and had lived in New York and Miami. She was a very worldly 33 year old woman who could charm people and was very attractive.
     She once told me about a friend who met an American that spoke about HIS house and HIS car and how much he made a year. The man was very attractive and the girl was swept off her feet. She spoke broken english and he spoke no spanish. She was educated and middle class.
    After a brief courtship they married and she went to the states. She attended english classes and got a job.`Within a year she had left him and moved in with a Puerto Rican guy in  Miami.
   She explained, When she lived in Cali she worked and went to the gym. On weekends she went shopping and to a movie. Sometimes she would go out dancing on a saturday with her friends. There was  a maid to care for the home. ( this is not an exception it is the rule) She kept her own money and lived with the family. She had attention and possibilities with men.
   When she moved to the US she found out the house belonged to the bank, as well as the car. She had to clean the house, cook and wash his clothes for him. He took her paycheck to help pay the bills. He came home tired and became less romantic by the day. She stated, why? should I work at a job, work at home, give my money to this man and have to ask permission to spend it on myself. Sleep with him and he can't even communicate with me. I had a better life in Colombia.

   Can you imagine if she had to take care of his kids as well? Why do you think there is a note about men with children on the profiles.

Gee guys, are we all such good catches that they should marry us just because we are Americans. Is it possible that some of us are less than candid about how life will be in the USA with us. Just another perception. ENTONCES    JIM C

[Jeff S]

... in response to It dosn't allways translate!!, posted by jim c on Jul 14, 2003

.. to downplay what you have, instead of bragging about how successful you are. One poster on the Asian board said he was a "farm laborer" which was technically true even though he owns a big spread in central Illinois. Here's what his wife (a former Hanes stocking model, quite a bit younger than he) had to say after she'd been here a couple months: http://www.planet-love.com/wwwboard/asian/archives/display.php?archive=000081&id=28719

- Jeff

[Miguel]

... in response to Maybe the answer is..., posted by Jeff S on Jul 15, 2003

Or maybe the answer is a Philippina instead of a Colombiana?

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: Maybe the answer is..., posted by Miguel on Jul 15, 2003

There do seem to be fewer "she dumped me" stories, and more "I can't believe how good life is" stories. That being said however, looking at Calipro's pictures, it's easy to understand why guys are interested in playing the odds.

- Jeff

[Jersey Mike]

... in response to It dosn't allways translate!!, posted by jim c on Jul 14, 2003

Jim,
This is a great point, and is true for anyone marrying a foreign-born woman, not just Latinas.  I have heard women from both Latin America and eastern Europe who complain about the American lifestyle of working long hours to pay for the mortgage and car and other basic necessities.  They soon come to resent the day-to-day drudgery of real life here.  Apparently, many of them have formed preconceived notions of life here from movies and media portrayals of American life and are disappointed by the reality.

Yet, many of the same women are basically hardworking and thrifty (or cheap!) with their own money.  They seem to resent it when we men cannot afford to give them our credit cards for unlimited shopping (the "Pretty Woman" fantasy), or that we cannot just leave our jobs on a whim to take them on vacations or travel.  And the women will give men from their own home countries a pass on this - it seems that many end up living with guys from the own homelands who are unable to make ends meet without their incomes.

[denvermike]

... in response to It dosn't allways translate!!, posted by jim c on Jul 14, 2003

Interesting post Jim, you bring up some very valid points.

The "honor" of living in the USA may not be what the latinas are expecting no matter what you tell them in advance.

Here in Chile some of my friends who have worked here and have married local ladies have a similar experience when the finally go back to the States.

One of my buddies was recently transferred back to the Hanford Washington project to work on a big job for the US government.  He had a Chilean wife but he had lived here for quite some time after they got married.  Working here you get salary uplifts, living expenses, a super apartment with a maid, pay no or very little in US income tax, etc.  Moving back to the States you lose most of the good stuff plus moving a long way from her home.  Let's just say the honeymoon is over in that relationship, he has had a very hard time recently.

One of the good things about this forum, you can find out the experiences of others and the reality of marrying a foreign woman.  It is not always positive!  Be prepared.

take care,
mike

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to It dosn't allways translate!!, posted by jim c on Jul 14, 2003

Jim

It's always the man's fault isn't it.  It's never the golddigging green card shark's fault.  They have every right to lie to and use the man.  Heard this story before.  Yawn.

Steve

[Cali vet]

... in response to It dosn't allways translate!!, posted by jim c on Jul 14, 2003

"...left him and moved in with a Puerto Rican guy in Miami". Who had a maid, and owned his house and car outright? And why didn't she move back to her cushy life in Cali? Because she got THE VISA. And speaking of not kidding ourselves, the other day I was with my wife in Chipichapi when I ran into a girl I'd dated a long time ago from an agency. Later my wife asked "why didn't it work out between you?" I said, "because I planned to move to Colombia or somewhere else in South America and she was dead set on the US." My wife said, "well of course! women go to agencies to meet Americans because they want to live in America." In a nutshell.

[HeyNow]

... in response to Re: It dosn't allways translate!!, posted by Cali vet on Jul 15, 2003

Not always so.  A friend of mine dated a Cali agency girl that insisted he move to Cali.  It wasn't an option for him since his income was in the U.S. and had a young son.  Some women don't want to leave Colombia but, they know they want a gringo husband.

[Cali vet]

... in response to Re: Re: It dosn't allways translate!!, posted by HeyNow on Jul 15, 2003

Regarding the girl your friend dated, at one time I would have said Cool! Now I'd say I don't believe her.

[HeyNow]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: It dosn't allways translate!..., posted by Cali vet on Jul 15, 2003

Seriously!  I have met some Colombian gals that do not want to leave.  If they could stay in Colombia and have a gringo husband that would be ideal for them.  They want the gringo but, don't want to leave the family, country, culture, etc.

[Cali vet]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: It dosn't allways transl..., posted by HeyNow on Jul 15, 2003

Well I would have liked to run in to one of them. Didn't happen though.