I guess everyone makes mistakes and I know I made a few myself but like I said earlier when everything goes right it all goes right and visa-versa. Well on the 1st night here Marissa was cold and I had her sit on my bed with me. I hugged her and kept her warm. We sat up all night listening to music from my laptop and hugging and kissing. We were not more that 10 feet from the chaperone, Joyal, so I didn’t think it a problem. The chaperone told Marissa’s parents and said that she would not come to the wedding and that I was a good man while Marissa was bad. This didn’t bother me so much because Marissa and I were able to complain the innocence of what we did. Joyal then proceeded to tell some of the sponsors for the wedding, a policeman and his wife, and have them refuse to allow us to us the church on the police compound for our wedding. The whole reason for coming here was so that a priest, in front of her parents, could perform the wedding service at a church for Honey and me. Of course my being LDS and her being Catholic had already caused some problems earlier in the relationship. Now they were resurfacing. To watch the one you love cry and have so little you can do about it tears the heart continuously without any mercy. It was even worse because she said her parents cried. I knew her parents would not allow Marissa to be married in my church by my Bishop. I still offered.
At this time we are talking with another policeman, her cousin Jena, to sponsor us who we hope today will under stand my error and not punish Marissa for my selfishness. Watch those PDA’s fella’s. They really mean it when they say don’t do them in public.
If anything bad happened I think good also came of this. Mr. Cabanig and I were able to have that long talk I felt cheated on when I first got here. I explained how I intended to give Marissa this wedding here in front of her parents in a church rather than take her to the USA to marry me there. And how that by doing that I was giving up almost a year with her so that she could have her dream to do this. I then discussed how much money I was going to give her as an allowance to live on while we waited for approval and that I wanted to buy her a certain value home that we could use for them to live in until we returned or to rent out for investment income. Of course he bargained for a better place but I don’t care, I was only working on an estimate and I want her to have the best. Marissa’s father was the most impressed with the laptop I gave Marissa because we intend to use a web cam, Dialpad, and Netmeeting to communicate without long distance charges and being able to see each other. I think he was very surprised also that I would save that much money by using the programs like Dialpad to substitute for the long distance charges.
I had also before leaving bought a digital camera as my Christmas present to myself. I was a big hit with everyone as well. They liked being able to see the pictures immediately after taking it. But everyone was amazed at how I could transfer it to the laptop and change the picture right there.
Getting ready for the wedding was primarily all we have done. I think we have gone from one in of this city to the other 50 times looking at reception rooms and hotels, getting invitations printed, buy things for the wedding like “give-a-ways” (ours will be these small cute ceramic “bear” whatnots). Getting paper for the invitations, going to printers, ordering the cake, getting the photographer lined out, finding just the right flowers, getting a wedding car, the wedding dress and my barang. There was also finding a place for the wedding to occur now that the church would not allow it anymore. We agreed to the function room at the Orange Grove Hotel and Convention center but then later got permission to have the wedding at the church were we had originally intended.
We also did some Christmas shopping. We bought her family an artificial Christmas tree and lights and then took Lechon (a large roasted pig) and chiffon cakes to the Christmas dinner. Once there we cooked spaghetti and rice for everyone while I had her oldest brother go and get fireworks. He got us twisters that you nail into a board then light and they spin one way then reverse. Everyone had a marvelous time especially me. Marissa was extremely happy.
I think that when we come here we all have pre-conceived ideas of what it will be like and an understanding/hope/desire of what out future mates and penpals will be like. I know I had many expectations that I would hope that I could help you guys put behind you before you get here. It took a few days to start accepting Marissa for what she was and instead of seeing her for what I expected. I had remembered the cute things others had done for me in the past and I was actually letting myself get my feelings hurt that she wasn’t doing some of the same things. Then I wised up and noticed what she was doing and started trying to accept her for herself. She wanted nothing but to please me. I had to argue to buy her anything at all. She took care of me whether I wanted her to or not and I mean especially if I didn’t want it. I made the mistake of telling her I had been diabetic and had some medical problems. All of these things are behind me (or at least not so important as before) because I lost a lot of weight and got things under control. To bad for me! She watched what I ate like a hawk – no chocolates or other candy, no ice cream or sweets. Gossh fellas! I’m on vacation (pouting)! The pouting didn’t work, by the way. She said I was going to live forever so I could take care of her – clearly she intends to make me do it too.
I was not allowed to travel on my own because her and her parents were so afraid of someone taking advantage of me, cheating me or kidnapping me. Fellas I can handle myself, quite willingly I might add. But she treats me like I am someone to be protected and cared for, not used. I’d ask her how could I retire here if I could not do things on my own. She responded with she would always be right beside me and she meant it. She did all the things necessary to complete our tasks together, and then she’d ride me home in a taxi, and return home to finish her chores, which included washing my clothes. Yes, she ironed my underwear!!! She didn’t hesitate to do any of her own responsibilities or to provide me with the smallest of considerations. If I dropped some crumbs on me while eating she was brushing them off, if I was sweated she was patting me with a handkerchief or fanning me, she must have fixed me a thousand drinks responding immediately (if not sooner) to every request. Everyone at her home did my bidding or you could see the sternness come out in her face as she gave them the “eye” and “told” them to do it. No one dared disobey her – including me! (Smile)
I have only heard one woman say “gwapo” since I came here and that was to Marissa. I really didn’t really care if all the women said things like that about me or maybe I would have listened and noticed that they were saying those things. I came for Marissa, not to see all the thousands of beautiful Filipinas everywhere. But Marissa said lots of women told her I was handsome, several where I overheard it. I didn’t need the ego boost but I was so happy to see it made Marissa happy. She was clearly very proud that other Filipinas thought me handsome.
Marissa is late. She is always late. The song “I Loved You Before I Knew You” by Savage Garden is our song. I told Marissa that we were in Heaven together and it was time to come here to Earth to accomplish the things we asked of Heavenly Father. I said to Marissa “Let’s go” and she said” I’ll be right there! Go on ahead of me”. Obviously, she got here 20 years late. I think as each day passed she gets later and later but I don’t complain because she was taking me home then having to respond to her parents questions of what we had done that day. We had not had a chaperone since Joyal had talked o her parents. I don’t know, maybe it’s the traffic or the difference in attitudes here but nothing moves fast – especially Marissa. At one point she and I waited 2 hours for a taxi at the Mall and many times for an hour or more.
More to come…..(in a few days)
