My lady won't let me roam!!

[KenC]

... in response to My lady won't let me roam!!, posted by ChipShot on Feb 5, 2002

Chip,
RW are very jealous and possessive. My wife keeps a keen eye on me as well as any females in the area. I believe that this stems from the lack of faithfulness of RM. They have grown up with the concept that men will cheat and it is hard for them to change that "mind set". My wife has point blank asked me if I have a lover some where. She was also ready to deck a woman that was checking me out in a club one night. Take it as a sign of sincere flattery, she must think you are a "keeper".
KenC

[Stevo]

... in response to get used to it, posted by KenC on Feb 5, 2002

Mine says she will 'keeel' me if I do...but I think that deep down she hopes that I do as 'proof' of my desirability to other women (thereby validating her choice) and my masculinity.  Go figure!

RW aren't anything like AW concerning this area of sexuality/fidelity.

Stevo

[John K]

... in response to get used to it, posted by KenC on Feb 5, 2002

This is how my wife presents it to me:

She trusts me, but she doesn't trust other women.  Men have an inherent weakness towards women, so their women must be extra vigilant to make sure their men don't become unduly tempted.

It's flattering that my wife is so possessive of me, but by the same token the constant queries into my nonexistant extracurricular lovelife, combined with the constant threats of what will happen to me should she ever catch me with another woman wears on me after a while.  She is resigned to the fact that I will take a lover someday, regardless of how I feel about the matter.  Apparently men are too weak to say "no" to a woman.  

I get grilled over any woman who leaves a message on the answering machine, had all my pager messages read, and been grilled over all the female numbers programmed into my cell phones.  Since my wife uses my email sometimes, I am not surprised to see any message from a woman marked as already read by the time I get to them.

All I can say is get used to it.  It won't change for the first few years...

[micha1]

... in response to Men will cheat..., posted by John K on Feb 6, 2002

What you are saying is that they do know that to cheat on someone, you do need a partner to do it with.
It is not only men who cheat, women do it also.
They are sending messages.  Their is two sides to every coin.

About the other subject on another post, same subject.   If a girl has study for many year to learn something very
well.  It kills her not to use that knowledge somewhere, somehow.
To place these girls in a spot where all they will ever be is a housewife, is the beginning of the end of the ball game.
Things are a changing, girls do not only aspire to be a housewife,  listening to soaps on tv, eating chocolate
by the boxes, laying in the sun, reading love stories from grocery store books.  While dreaming of a white knight
on a white horse, coming to put a spark in their life.
Anyway life is life.  The only chances that we men really have with women, is to hope..........
After one hour, even the dummier of them, know us backward and forward just as if she had knitted us, just
think how well they do know us after months and years.
It is, no  matter what the best game in town, because it is the only game.  This is why we play it.
It is call love.

[KenC]

... in response to get used to it, posted by KenC on Feb 5, 2002

Chip.
If you can work it out, buy out the compartment in the train.  You will have to buy 4 tickets for the two of you, but it will be worth it in the long run.
KenC

[John K]

... in response to one more thing, posted by KenC on Feb 5, 2002

It'll save you some money.

[thesearch]

... in response to My lady won't let me roam!!, posted by ChipShot on Feb 5, 2002

h yea,

I had a very similar experience. I met a lady in Prague. She wanted to come with me to second destination - Moscow because she was concerned about other women - only reason. This is just a reflection of the competition for men I suspect.

[John K]

... in response to My lady won't let me roam!!, posted by ChipShot on Feb 5, 2002

It's a pretty commom trait.  FSU women are very competetive with each other by nature.  Don't even think of letting your eyes roam if you're with her.  I made the mistake of watching a girl on the dance floor a little too long once.  It was hours later before my fiancée would speak to me...

[BarryM]

... in response to Expect possessiveness, posted by John K on Feb 5, 2002

http://www.planet-love.com/wwwboard/show.php?russian/archive00140/messages/60569.txt

It shows exactly the opposite. I personally think that inattention is a big red flag.

-blm

[KenC]

... in response to Funny, check out this post in the archiv..., posted by BarryM on Feb 5, 2002

Barry,
That post was about a RW who was checking out other men & women, not about her being inattentive to her man.
KenC
KenC

[Scaught]

... in response to not the opposite, posted by KenC on Feb 5, 2002

After much communication back and forth with her, I realize my complaint about her staring at people so much was nothing to get excited about. I lost many nerve cells unnecessarily over it.

I am old enough to take the blame myself, but I think I let myself be influenced by the negativity on this board (yes, I know it is a million times worse elsewhere). I got too trigger happy looking for signs of a scammer.

We have made up. I will see her a few more times before she comes over. The bright side is that we got to know each other a lot better over this spat.

I'd like to say that of course there are scammers out there. However, it is my impression that not only is this concern way overblown (and avoided with a little common sense), but please be careful not to blow a budding relationship with a truly wonderful woman. I almost did. I still have some caution, but through developing more and more trust with her by talking with her and being with her, this caution is receding into the background, further and further away.

By the way, one of my friend's who is Ukrainian and does introductions in Kiev-- she has tons of experience-- says that one of the biggest problems guys have in their countries with their FSU women is getting jealous of them. Remember the last time you were driven crazy even if only a day or two by The Green Eyed Monster in a past relationship. This common feeling could come back to haunt you if you bring one of these super attractive women here. She knows firsthand of cases where the guy goes nuts, telling the woman she can't even leave the house! And we know how social they are.

A peripheral (at best) side note about people staring at her: She told me that in Ukraine people say that women who are truly faithful are not those who can't attract attention and don't fool around, but are the women who CAN attract a lot of attention and stay faithful.

[KenC]

... in response to Followup to the "Inattention" ..., posted by Scaught on Feb 6, 2002

scaught,
I am glad to hear that things are working out for you.  I agree that the paranoia is rampant here concerning scammers.  RW are no different than any other women when it comes to manipulating men.  With the distance factor (and desperate AM in need of affection) has opened the door to some men making foolish choices regarding RW.  I don't know who is more to blame in thses cases, the RW or the AM.

With the language and culture barriers in mind, you have to be more patient with your relationship with a RW.  Many misunderstandings stem from these areas.  You may have to "bite your tongue" until you get all the facts.  Many disagreements can be avoided by talking out what appears to be a problem.  You should not jump to conclusions until you have time for an explanation.

I had to laugh about what you write in regard to the "green eyed monster."  If you are going to bring a hottie here to America, of course she will draw attention.  Buck up buddy and deal with it or it will consume you completely.  I have experienced many a man's jaw dropping when I am with my wife.  I take most of the attention as a complement to my good taste in women.  Unfortunatly, there have also been a few incidents where men's attention goes beyond good taste.  I have no problem in correcting those.  Best of luck to you.
KenC

[Scaught]

... in response to some very good points, posted by KenC on Feb 6, 2002

Ken-- Thank you for your post. You know exactly what I am talking about.

Would you please share even if in general how these people crossed the line and what you did? I need to be prepared. It's coming my way. Big time. I would definitely appreciate your opinions/experiences.