Filapina rumors

[Sunwolf]

... in response to Re: Filapina rumors, posted by Bear on Jan 9, 2002

Thank you both for your unique views of what's going on.  Obviously the details I gave weren't very detailed at all and there are many other factors that I did not mention.  One of these is that she already has 2 kids (3 and 5) which I think might make her think twice about finding another man to accept them into his home after her leaving me.  That's one point for her.  On the other hand, she has gone to Japan and back twice in the time I have known her.  She has changed address 7 or 8 times, also.  This bodes ill.  I am, at the moment, waiting on a letter from her explaining how she can claim to be so poor, and yet fly back and forth to Japan AND afford a cell phone!  The reason she goes to Japan for 6 months at a time is because she can make more money working there than she'll ever make in the Philippines.  Or so she says.  Have either of you two ever heard of such a thing?

My dilemma lies in the fact that she seems so dam(n)ably sincere.  She has a very soft voice, never gets mad at me no matter what I ask her, and she even makes a point of asking about how my cat is.  She has asked me if I am ready to take care of her for the rest of our lives.  She seems very serious about this whole thing.  However, I have one problem - I never asked her to marry me and she's already assuming it is going to happen.  People who rush into things worry me.  Especially when it's someone who said she wanted to take it slow when I first wrote to her.  Still, I am entranced.

The primary reason for me taking the trip to the Phils is to meet her in person and spend some quality time with her to see if we truly are compatible.  I am not going there to get married.  This is going to sound odd, but I want to see if she tries to get me to father a kid while I'm there.  I hope not, but when she finds out that we're not getting married there and then, who knows?

I truly hope that she's the person I have grown to love - a gentle, loving filapina who has had a hard hand of cards dealt her, not a scheming, devious vixen just looking for a ticket to the home of the free.  I hope to ferret out the truth even if it breaks my heart.

I was curious as to whether or not there really were people out there who had been used in the way I have been warned about, because I didn't know of anyone.  Thanks Kevin for the heads-up, I promise I will be VERY careful from now on.  Bless you, too.

I'd like to thank the Bear, too.  Your insights have led me to have a little more faith that there really ARE some good women out there.  I wish you and your new bride the best.  Feel free to make more comments in light of the new facts I have given you, I'll be checking back on this message for a couple of days.  I'm going to post the question about filapinas working in Japan on the main message board so everyone can get a look at it.  Please take care, gentlemen and thanks from the bottom of my heart.

The Sunwolf.

[Bear]

... in response to Thanks Kevin and Bear/ More info about i..., posted by Sunwolf on Jan 9, 2002

I have some friends in a burb just outside of Davao.  Paul and Emm.  Emm was being trained to be a Japanesse "entertainer" when she became sick and missed her trip to Japan.  It was shortly after that that she married Paul and admits if she hadn't she might have met and married a Japanesse man.  While I was in davao at City Hall I asked a lot of questions.  One was "I bet a lot of Americans come in here to get marriage liscense?".  The response was, "2-3/Wk but more than 50% of the liscenses go to Japanesse men".

I know numerous Filipinas there now and some Filipinos that work in Korea, Japan and Suadi Arabia countries.  Filipinos are one of the most "farmed" out laborers in the world and their government taxes them for it too.  I hear more than 5 million workers work out of the country.

As for whether or not the Filipina wil be a good wife or honorable in her intent again I say listen to your heart.  There is a very good chance that she doesn't love you yet but might be the best thing that could ever happen to you and would easily fall in love with you after meeting and/or marrying.  I think too many people expect to be madly in love when they meet the right girl but I have yet to meet too many people that understand what that is.  I know I love Marissa and I know beyond a shadow of doubt that she loves me but I know it because I prayed about it.  It was confirmed over and over to both me and her.

As for cost - I think that too is way over concerened by many.  I have about $7.5K in my whole relationship and that includes 1st class airfare and a free spending wedding/honeymoon.  You can fly to the Phils for $650 roundtrip.  Now it is possible she thinks that you will provide her with security but just make it clear to her that you have meager means.  If she really loves you she'll do the same as Marissa did - say she will work also.

One last note that I intend to bring up in a future trip report.  In the city of Davao the women out number the men easily 5 to 1.  The men who do not have careers by 35 y.o. are worthless to the women as providers and at best can only babysit, drink and whore around.  Bringing a women to the US with children will be extremely difficult if not impossible - make sure you check that out.  There are virgins over there that would treat you like "gold pressed latinum" to quote the Feringi of Start Trek fame.  I bet every guy on this board can give you at least 5 names and addresses of Filipinas looking for husbands and confirm that "introductions from another Fil-Am couple" are the best and most dependable of meetings.

I think it important to note that in my 3 weeks in P.I.s I did not meet a single divorced woman.  And anytime some problem camme up between a man and a woman everyone including the women blame the woman.  These women want a man and a family and will do anything they can to make it work - I think a lot more than most of us would.  I experienced this personaly when i made a stupid PDA that I saw as harmless here in the states.  Everyone there blamed Marissa instead of me and I had to spend days traveling around assuming the blame as I should have.  Don't automatically asume that they are not sincere because in most cases I would say you are completely wrong.

Lastly ask hard questions.  Try to trip them up.  Ask them to do it to you.  Then answer your own questions for them.  And pray.  Marissa and I prayed every chance we got and fasted several times when there were serious problems.  To quote the song, "We are the champions" because we won.

Bear

[shadow]

... in response to OCW's, posted by Bear on Jan 9, 2002

[FL]

... in response to Thanks Kevin and Bear/ More info about i..., posted by Sunwolf on Jan 9, 2002

If her working outside Phils. is a fact, than that can also explain how she has money. My fiance works in Cebu for about $100 a month 40hrs a week. She could do contract work, like her Aunt in Taiwan and make $1000 a month doing the same thing. Contract work in other countries is common.