Speaking of books..

[Ozymandias]

Speaking of books..

I've been lurking here for a couple of months, and have read through about a third of of the archives.. It has really struck me how much my preconceptions about going to asia have changed, by simply reading about other peoples problems and joys.

I agree that a book on the PI and what Zebson suggests - a book on asian-western (or perhaps asian-american) relationships and culture differences - will be very interesting to read.

Going through the archives, there was really another kind of book that I think would be tremendously useful for someone starting on this process of going to asia..

When people post questions to the board they are often asked to search the archives - and that is great for getting an answer to a specific question. I doubt however that all that many people have the patience to read through the archives from the beginning to the end.. And that is a pity, because if they don't they simply have no idea what kind of questions they should be asking!

I don't know if I have the time or the talent to write a book, but I would really like to try to distill the ideas and topics discussed into something useful for the guys (and girls) contemplating an asian-western marriage. I would probably go beyond this board and distill certain books as well..

Do you think that this is a good idea? Would you be willing to answer my questions when I need to clarify something from the archives? Are there anyone here who would like to read through chapters as they are written and give their opinions?

I’m still considering it, and it might take a really long time to write it if I do decide to dive in. :-)

Best regards,
Arild

[The Walker]

... in response to Speaking of books.., posted by Ozymandias on Aug 24, 2002


I happen to believe authors should write what they know. So you should write of your own experiences in this area. Any attempt to play the "unauthorized biographer" will probably displease some and cause others to disagree. To do so you would have to put in incredible research. The book would thus be years down the line.

Having said that. I do think that someone with the interest, intelligence and sheer willingness to work could do something towards combining the posts both now and prior (archives) into some form. With headlines and subjects and such. To make it possible to effectively search the archives without reading every f*rt joke in the thread and the occasional bouts of name-calling and arguments. Many times the thread headline is quite misleading as we tend, like most humans, to get off on interesting tangets. So the post "Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Something or Other" may indeed have quite useful information which has little to do with the original post, as may some of the sub-threads.

If you or someone were to do something in that line a lot of people yet to come here would be grateful.

Don

[Ozymandias]

... in response to Re: Speaking of books.., posted by The Walker on Aug 24, 2002

Hi Don,

I see your point, and agree that a FAQ for the forum, or atleast a reorganization of the posts would be very useful.

Perhaps I will end up producing such a FAQ or index for the archives in the process of writing my book.

I think that it is possible to write a non-fictional book about long distance relationships. It may be a lot more demanding than I imagine.

Best regards,
Arild

[shadow]

... in response to Speaking of books.., posted by Ozymandias on Aug 24, 2002

Hah! Please see my post above.    

Larry.

[Ozymandias]

... in response to So you think you want help?, posted by shadow on Aug 24, 2002

Hi Larry,

I think we want to describe different things - you seem to be very focused on Fil/Am relationships, where I'd like to be a lot more general in my perspective and analysis.

Is it okay if I email you to discuss your book further?

Best regards,
Arild

[shadow]

... in response to Re: So you think you want help?, posted by Ozymandias on Aug 25, 2002

Please do e-mail me. It would be intersting to throw ideas back and forth.

shadownseiko@nospam.com

[Ray]

... in response to Speaking of books.., posted by Ozymandias on Aug 24, 2002

Welcome aboard Arild!

I’m not sure exactly what you have in mind for your book, but I agree with some of Bear’s points. Trying to do an authoritative work on Asian-Western marriages would require a lot of personal experience and tons of research. It might make a fun project for you but I wouldn’t count on making any money from your efforts, unless you get really lucky.

Zeb mentioned an interest in reading about different guys’ relationships with Filipina women. That’s all fine, but I would remind him that what someone reads on these forums is not necessarily always factual. Guys often like to use this medium to vent their anger at their former partners and what you read is only one side of the story. From my experience, hearing only one side is often worthless, because you’re likely to get an entirely different story from the other partner. So, when you hear all this stuff about the “gold-digger”, “green-card-shark” ex-wife, don’t automatically accept that as the truth about what really happened.

If your intention is to merely condense the stories that are posted here into a usable format so that a new reader can more easily find information important to him or her, that might work. But I tend to think that someone who doesn’t have the time or energy to read through the archives probably won’t bother to purchase your book and read it either.

Anyway, feel free to ask any questions you like. We may not always respond instantly, but someone will usually answer you. I think that anyone interested in this kind of “adventure” should be able to ask just about anything they want here. As long as they seem sincere, we won’t bite their heads off :-)

I’d be glad to read through your rough drafts and give some opinions if you like.

Ray

[Ozymandias]

... in response to Re: Speaking of books.., posted by Ray on Aug 24, 2002

Hi Ray,

Thank you for welcoming me aboard!

Money is not my first priority - I don't mind making any, but I would definitely write the book because I think it would be interesting to do so, and not expect much else out of it.

As I wrote in reply to Bear, I agree that simply condensing the posts would be unsuitable for a book.

If I start writing the book, I would greatly appreciate your opinions on my drafts. Thank you for your goodwill.

Best regards,
Arild

[Zebson]

... in response to Re: Speaking of books.., posted by Ray on Aug 24, 2002

Ray, my hopes were to also have viewpoints from both partners, though I didn't relate that earlier in my post to Dave. I of course want to hear the other persons point of view. Any information should be balanced and that I think might offer more validity of accounts from both partners that are still together in relationships. Regarding people that are seperated...still it's inherent in all humans to represent their sides with a sense of bias at times depending on the motives and intentions behind it.

Given long enough people can justify everything in their minds eye, when it fact it may be nothing but glorified lies, enhanced to make a good story in order for them to seem the innocent victom. I know about that from being manipulated too. However, in my previous relationship accounts, it's quite easy for me, cause I frankly don't give a rats a@@ who believes it or not, or what the other side is, for me it was more about a release of what I experienced inside myself. But if someone wants to know more indepth about it, I would be glad to clarify the story. But how they precieve it as to being fact or fiction is their perogative in the end.

Zeb

[Dave H]

... in response to Speaking of books.., posted by Ozymandias on Aug 24, 2002

Hi Arild,

You would definately need a lot of time. This board is so heavily Fil/Am or Fil/Western that I'm not sure that the information would be of much use to other Asian/Western relationships. But by all means, Go For It! I enjoy reading any info on Asian culture, history, travel, cuisine, and Asian/Western relationships.

Dave H.

[Ozymandias]

... in response to Welcome to P-L!, posted by Dave H on Aug 24, 2002

Hi Dave,

Thank you for welcoming me to P-L!

I think that many of the topics are "universal" and can be abstracted and applied to long distance relationships in other countries besides the PI.

Perhaps what you say is true - but then this message board will hardly be my only resource. :-)

I will try to bring useful information and discussions to this forum. Only time will tell if I can manage it.

Best regards,
Arild

[Bear]

... in response to Speaking of books.., posted by Ozymandias on Aug 24, 2002

You wish to re-write our posts in book form?  I would think that there are so many opinions that differences that you would end up stereotyping by choosing a common but not all encompassing belief.  And Guys who write books (and I intend to write one in the future as well) usely focus on a vary narrow point of view - their own.  It would be almost impossible for you to explain the pains many people here are going through or have gone through.

Bear

[Ozymandias]

... in response to Re: Speaking of books.., posted by Bear on Aug 24, 2002

No. I don’t wish to rewrite your posts in book form.

Rewriting and regrouping posts by topic would probably be a good idea for a FAQ, but a poor idea for a book – for the same reasons that you mention.

I think the major part of the book would be about long distance relationships, and the unique difficulties in establishing and maintaining such a relationship.

I don’t intend to write a book that simply stereotypes, by “choosing a common but not all encompassing belief”. I intend to write a book that presents my own views. It is not my ambition to describe other people’s pain or suffering, but merely some of the possibilities both good and bad in going to Asia looking for a wife. By reading this forum I have personally “discovered” many problems and difficulties that I hadn’t considered when I first started reading, and that is what I would like to convey to others just starting out on this voyage.

Best regards,
Arild