Everyone's got solid points regarding Howard and Ayesa, in some ways, I'd side with HumbaVee, (with his gun turrets looking for a solid target), and in others with Ray.
But this is a tough (bite yourself in the @ss) love situation, that needs action on one side, and passivity on the other.
If, this girl, is allowed to stay here, then of course, the "family" has been successful in turning their daughter into a gc shark by proxy. THEY USED HOWARD, and THEY USED HER.
So, you've got TWO victims, not just one. Howard, for his time, love, and money, and A, for her time and love alone.
She's been wedged between two fronts from day one, and there was no reasonable solution. Heck, if I would have fallen for it, then I'd be mad as hell at everybody with that woman on the next plane right back to where she came from just to get it out of my system, but then later, might cry my head off because I hurt, my fellow victim that I loved, and wished that loved me.
What a bunch of CRAP to deal with.
The family (not howard) used this poor girl, and she didn't have a clue what she was in for, and I can imagine now, that she's walking on eggshells every day looking for the "what next", in her life. So, she gets deported home, and not only can she NOT go back to her family, which will probably ostracize her forever, but there's nothing there other than her friends place that she was staying with when she escaped from them the first time. That, is a horrific fate, as family in PI can hold a grudge forever. (Political correctness in PI regarding family problem issues, does not exist that I know of, as it does here in the USA).
Next is Howard's responsibility and frame of mind. After this garbage, I'd be looking for ANYTHING, better than this situation to emotionally escape to immediately. Where else does he go? To the INS with his "scammer" report? That's too much mind over emotion to deal with. Sometimes its easier to float the boat to the next one than to pursue "justice" in the eyes of the law or the INS et al. He's already signed a LOT of papers for this woman, and hopefully, (if she ends up staying here), he won't be held accountable for her actions in the future, but he COULD BE, (that is, if the INS ever gets their act together). Heck, does anyone wonder if he'll be legally able to go through this process again after doing it once before only to have failed, (and still responsible for Ayesa because she's still here)? Will the INS take that into account with another one in his sights? (Don't know or maybe I've forgotten what you've been considering lately howard, but if it's stateside, then you're obviously in a safe zone, but overseas again? I don't know, I have no experience in matters like this).
His only LEGAL and Logical recourse, may be - to send her back. But that victimizes her TWICE over. It kills howard too, for enabling those, to have another agenda on their minds forever (Ayesa's family), which is to be po'd at her for not working it out in the USA.
I'm no expert, but this situation sucks, and it don't take no expert to figure that out. I would never want to be in Howard's shoes. I'd be as angry as Humbados, and as congenial as Ray for not wanting to get into victimizing an already worn out victim. Both points of view (and anger), have merit.
So, in the end, you bet, I'd write the most evil letter I could gin up, NOW, to her parents, and tell them what a horrible experience that they have helped to create, and exacerbate for THEIR daughter, (and how we DON'T DO THAT KIND OF THING HERE WITH OUR OWN KIDS) but not send it until the annulment is final. (Of course, it would benefit no one, but the writer of such a thing to dispel his anger).
Then, I'd live in a semi-dream world of someone else, and at the same time, reconsider the rules on which all of this must be played. Because to let this girl stay here, on my own dime (personal liability), will encourage others in the Philippines to do the exact same thing. Without laws being enforced, then we encourgage lawless activity, after which we become a lawless society.
It's sad, but the girl does need to go back home. Not out of anger, but because it's the right thing to do. I don't know if I'd have the stomach to pursue it though, it would be a bit difficult. Life is too easy here, to just "let it slide into oblivion".
Now, I hope that you guys arguing over "deport the b@tch" and "stop being an @ss", can find some mutual ground on this. This ain't a good thing to fight over.
