Opinion on educated LA and others

[EbonyPrince]

Considering some of the failed relationship postings, would it be better to seek a LA with a college level education or degree as opposed to those without.

I think that there is a lot of adjustment that goes on when you change cultures, and I wonder if the higher education latinas would adjust better.  I noticed that UCowboy seems to be doing great with his latina who happens to be an engineer.  When I was married to AW, she had a college degree and we both worked to save our marriage.  Of course it didn't work, but I wonder if educated latinas would try harder when they come to America.

I am new in my search, and I evaluating everything.  What do you experience guys think married, dating, failed first attempts, whatever...I would like to hear from you.

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Opinion on educated LA and others, posted by EbonyPrince on Dec 21, 2005

The wonderful thing about having a Colombiana engineer is having a very feminine woman who thinks like a man, i.e. very logical and practical. For her everything is just a problem to be solved through reason, no need to get emotional about it.

[soltero]

... in response to Opinion on educated LA and others, posted by EbonyPrince on Dec 21, 2005

Education helps to foster intelligence, but look more for how she handles situations and change. Usually the more educated a person, the more open minded they are. The more rapidly they deal with new things. That is where most guys have their problems with women they bring here and they don't even know it. They negate the fact that these women are very family oriented, and not being able to communicate with the guy's family members will be a crushing thing for them. They will act like it isn't but it is. Don't just go for a pretty smile and sweet disposition unless you plan on keeping her in the country that made her that way. She will change here because being here will be a major change. Prepare for it and choose wisely.

[EbonyPrince]

... in response to Look for intelligence, posted by soltero on Dec 21, 2005

Reading the about the failures, I wonder how much the adjustement factor played in the failures.  I know personality has a lot to do with it.  Some people will fail in America and LA due to their character, so I guess I just wonder about the latinas adjusting here if my character isn't even an issue...

[soltero]

... in response to Re: Look for intelligence, posted by EbonyPrince on Dec 21, 2005

Planning for that adjustment from the beginning may be the key to your future success. Starting with choosing someone who may be capable of making that adjustment with a minimum amount of undue stress or the capacity to deal with that stress with class.

[jediknight]

... in response to Opinion on educated LA and others, posted by EbonyPrince on Dec 21, 2005

[This message has been edited by jediknight]

try harder at what? learning english, assimilating, working on your relationship? the first thing that will make any relationship successful is communication and a clear understanding of what your roles are in the relationship and what you both want for the future. a persons academic education may help in maintaining an intellectual converstation but it is not the only factor you should consider, even these type of conversations can become stale and boring.

my fiance is a college grad, understands and speaks some english but nowhere near enough to continue working here as a professional. i'm fluent in spanish so we've communicated entirely in spanish since we met but what was more important to me was not the kind of education she got in the schools and university but rather the kind she got at home. it was more important to me that the woman i was looking for was honest and trustworthy, someone who would work at our relationship rather that make it more difficult. someone who was wise, who would understand that there will be an adjustment needed when she arrives here and will not complain or suck her teeth because things are different or not like she had planned.

lately i've been telling my fiance how cold it is in the northeast compared to barranquilla to prepare her for the change. i tell her that she will not have her family at arms reach whenever she wants and has to think about seeing them once a year. the point is that i've found that the education she got at home was more important because she has seen what it takes to have a successful and lasting realtionship which is much more important to me than anything else. her parents have been married close to 40 years with no incidents of infidelity, through economic highs and lows, in other words through the best and worst times and they are still all over each other after so many years. they've instilled in her the importance of love, family, community and how not to fall into the trap that many do of placing importance on their career, money, material items. i don't expect my fiance to come here and start working or learn english right away....communication has never been and will not be a problem. what i do expect is for her to know that her place will be with me, by my side and i expect her to be flexible and understanding and to always put us first, to do whatever it takes to make our relationship work, of course she will get the same from me. having a college education is great but don't turn away a woman because she doesn't have one. look at her family, her relationship with her parents, siblings, who her friends are, does she get along with them or is she difficult or like they say in colombia...ella es muy complicada.
JK

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to try harder?, posted by jediknight on Dec 21, 2005

De acuerdo contigo!

[EbonyPrince]

... in response to try harder?, posted by jediknight on Dec 21, 2005

I want some most if not all the exact same things.  

Parents that are still together and committed after 40 years provides a nice example if those values are directly being taught by the family.

With all the problems that we have with families here in America, I just wonder if education would play a better role for women that lacked this family experience?  Especially a latina that doesn't have that family structure.  You are correct there will be extensive change, so I just wonder will someone educated would cope better and be more determined to succeed.  All things being equal...

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Opinion on educated LA and others, posted by EbonyPrince on Dec 21, 2005

I think Educated latinas can connect with you on a more interlectual level as far as having convesations about world events, lectures, politics, ect. But not every man is looking for that and is perfectly happy talking about just normal everyday stuff . I have dated both and i find that as i learn from each experiance, i am now leaning toward the more educated woman becase i do enjoy a good debate or talking about more the the chipichapi mall sale. I have gotten bored with the ones that tend to not be able to have a really good conversation

[EbonyPrince]

... in response to Re: Opinion on educated LA and others, posted by Kiltboy1 on Dec 21, 2005

That has been my experience here.  She may be sexy, but she may not be intellectual enough to carry a decent conversation.  So my interest doesn't last long.  On the other hand, the educated women may not be sexy enough to hold my interest.  

With LA women, the difference in culture and the continuous adjustement may just be enough to compensate for all of that.