Can poor girls from SA be spoiled rotten?

[Jake]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Tough Love or He..., posted by papi on Jul 23, 2005

[This message has been edited by Jake]

first ones were free .... they will cost you now .. would you like with clothes or with out and how much would you like to spend .. Born Oct.3 1976

[papi]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Tough Love o..., posted by Jake on Jul 24, 2005

I will consider you a true friend and worship the ground you walk on if you send sin ropa

[JimmySTLOUIS]

... in response to Re: Re: Tough Love or Heat knows Best......, posted by Heat on Jul 23, 2005

Dude

Maybe you didnt see the little
its called a wink - i was joking!!! wink wink

ALSO - where did ask for advice?

lighten up a little

TE AMO PERU!!!

jim

[papi]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Tough Love or Heat knows Bes..., posted by JimmySTLOUIS on Jul 23, 2005

so are yu happy then with the Mrs and just venting a little?? understandable

[OkieMan]

... in response to Can poor girls from SA be spoiled rotten..., posted by JimmySTLOUIS on Jul 23, 2005

Jimmy,

Like some others on this board, it sounds to me like you have had a fight with your young wife, and you are trying to get some prospective about that. I have never been married to a latina, so I can't say about that.  But, I have been married twice before to AW.  But, women are still women, anywhere you go(at least about certain things).  It is my understanding that your wife is 19.  Well, that one is rather obvious.  You have a very young bride to deal with.  My first wife was also very young when I married her(over 25 years ago).  We both made some mistakes, but you must accept that your wife is still young and must mature along the way. Naturally, since I don't know her or you, I can only guess about the rest.  But, if you are on the one hand, buying her many things (like a car), and then you are expecting her to handle this "new life" with maturity-- FORGET ABOUT IT!  She is overwhelmed with all of this new culture, new husband, etc.  You will have to learn to set the parameters for your marriage (ie what is acceptable and what is not acceptable).  But, try to also have some patience with this girl (easier said than done-- been there, done that).  If this girl has some real solid character inside her, it will start shining through soon.  For both your sakes, I hope so.  But, you need to focus less on trying to impress her with all the stuff you can buy her, and start to discuss the important issues of life.
(family, kids, faith, being and acting responsibly, etc).  Sometimes that works, and other times it does not.  I was married to my first wife for 10 years; and we had 3 sons together.  I tried my best, but I also made some mistakes along the way.  At the 10 year mark, she started cheating on me, and it was all over!  That was almost 16 years ago.
Well, at any rate, best of luck to you.

                             OkieMan

P.S.  Why did you buy her a Lexus?  I believe you commented about that in an earlier post.  It's none of my business, but if you do that, you are making the problem bigger!

[doombug]

... in response to Can poor girls from SA be spoiled rotten..., posted by JimmySTLOUIS on Jul 23, 2005

[This message has been edited by doombug]

No, it wasn't really a rant--or, at least I didn't perceive it as such.  It read more like thinking out loud.

You made some excellent points; many that I, as a former Lima-ite, also noticed while living there for two months.

"I never dreamed that a poor family would just let the kids do nothing, teach them nothing about work, make them do no work around the house, no cooking, no cleaning etc."

"Another thing to remember that even lower middle class (by SA standards) have maids. Thats right boys MAIDS!!!!"

The nanny/maid of my ex did EVERYTHING around the house.  For US$70 a month, she cooked ever meal, washed everyone's clothes (but never my own, which I explicitly made clear not to do; I prefered to have mine done at a lavandaria), cleaned the house, helped bathe the daughter of my ex, ran errands to a variety of places, and put up with the often viscious/cold demeanor of the ex.  I once made the grave suggestion of buying the nanny/maid a birthday gift, and my ex got angry, feeling that I was somehow misdirecting my loyalties.  That $70 to the maid was a sizeable chunk of my ex's earnings, but she took advantage of ever last sole (the currency of Peru).  Funny how I grew to sympathize more for that maid than ANYONE in my ex's family.  Not because of any secret desires I felt towards the nanny (actually, she was a somewhat homely girl); but because she obliged to being treated so horribly.  I seriously doubt my ex has any inkling as to how much I learned about her through her interaction with this maid.  Which fits well with your other remarks...    

"So guess what happens when they meet a "RICH" guy like you. Yes you - you are RICH!!!! (in case you didnt know it)"

"Now i know there are super hard working girls from SA."

Our nanny/maid was EXTREMELY hard working.  She was one of the most deserving people I've ever met.  With a few more degrees of beauty, all of it would have been corrupted.  Maybe.  At least, I hope there are some beautiful women in this world who are as truly giving as these forgotten ones.

"Oh another thing I have learned - going to school is the "in" thing to do. Everyone is a student. The school business in Lima is a huge business. The schools are not even that good but they are a big business."

"Also you learn that some people only go to school a few nights - hours a week and that is a FULL TIME student to them."

My ex fit this mold.  She seemed proud to be a student, but her major--and her degree of study (a few "hours a week" also)--were lacking.  And after seeing her "text books," I now understand why universites in the U.S. are resistant to accepting credit transfers from schools abroad.  Reminds me of an ex-AW-girlfriend, years ago who majored in French, but couldn't speak it, and never applied it.  Went on to do simple, low-wage, entry-level clerical work.  It may sound "cool" to call yourself a student, but if the neurons are yawning, what are you learning?

I most liked your opening remark, though.  Anyone can be spoiled.  Sadly, even some of these hard working nannies/maids who are currently being shat on.  One of the cruel hoaxes of nature is that she made beautiful women so irresistable, then infused them with such intense shallowness.

Great post, Jimmy.  Everyone has their favorites, and that post was among mine.  It brought back a lot of memories.

Peace out!

p.s.  I just re-read your post, and thought the signature was freaking hilarious:

"TE AMO PERU anyway!!!!!!"

The "anyway" was milk-thru-the-nose spurting funny.  Fortunately, I wasn't drinking anything when I read it.

[Jake]

... in response to Can poor girls from SA be spoiled rotten..., posted by JimmySTLOUIS on Jul 23, 2005

realiazation as set in . and the honeymoon is over ??

[zack]

... in response to Can poor girls from SA be spoiled rotten..., posted by JimmySTLOUIS on Jul 23, 2005

Jimmy,

This must be your first negative post. I knew you had it in you!

The bottom line is, even the most poverty-stricken woman can be spoiled if someone else pays her bills and she does NOTHING. And when such a woman hooks up woth a "rich gringo" her laziness will only get worse.

Zack

[Red Clay]

... in response to Can poor girls from SA be spoiled rotten..., posted by JimmySTLOUIS on Jul 23, 2005

[This message has been edited by Red Clay]

Same here, I had to teach my wife some things about housekeeping. Her family had a maid alot in Peru also. My wife was the main income-earner in her household in Peru and she felt that was her contribution to the cause, and that someone else would handle the housekeeping. When the maid wasn't there, her mother did it.

My wife doesn't act spoiled about it, she doesn't mind doing it, sometimes she just doesn't think about it because she never had to. It has improved with time. She works very hard in her office, fast-paced streesful environment there. She's not at all lazy, just took her awhile to get into a better habit about it at home.

[papi]

... in response to Can poor girls from SA be spoiled rotten..., posted by JimmySTLOUIS on Jul 23, 2005

1. yes, the women from poor families can be spoiled - especially by dumb gringos

2. yes, some are lazy especially from the hot climates where they move at a snails pace

3. yes, maids are cheap and affordable for many

4. yes, just about everyone in LA is a "student"

5. yes, it sounds like you got in a fight with your wife because the house is a mess

By the way, my first novia from Cali kept the house clean, was not lazy, was not in school and happy if i brought home a chicken (although, as i recall she favored Kroger pollo over the competitor)

suerte

[doombug]

... in response to Re: Can poor girls from SA be spoiled ro..., posted by papi on Jul 23, 2005

"1. yes, the women from poor families can be spoiled - especially by dumb gringos

2. yes, some are lazy especially from the hot climates where they move at a snails pace"

I don't think "dumb gringos" make them spoiled; I'd wager that the tendency is character driven.

As far as "hot climates" making one lazy:  Why aren't the maids lazy then?

[papi]

... in response to Re: Re: Can poor girls from SA be spoile..., posted by doombug on Jul 23, 2005

on point one, have you been to Cali? on point two, have you been to Barranquilla? I rest my case

[doombug]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Can poor girls from SA be sp..., posted by papi on Jul 23, 2005

"I rest my case"

Sidebar.

So, what you're attempting to tell this court is that Colombian women are ravaged by inherent laziness and are thoroughly and irreversebly spoiled by the goodwill of gringo tourists?

Your Honor, I move to dismiss this case, and I ask that you direct the bailiffs to manhandle the lawyer for the plaintiffs.