Planet-Love.com Searchable Archives

Going to the Philippines just to GO, is absolutely an must, a need, of any man living in a western society, in search of a totally different and unique adventure.  I miss all of my former west coast Philippine allies, had a lot of friends, and it was easy to make new ones. Not like hangin out with the regular bud's.  Food's better too.

I have seen so many guys in the service get married on a whim over there, bring a real cutie back here (they were ALL cute), and then treat them like servants; (divorce guaranteed in 3-5 years!).

My ex-wife was one of them that was brought over here by a beer guzzling 250 pound gorilla that abused her, locked her up in the house, slept in front of the door... slapped her around, ignored her like the supposed btch she was, (was NOT!) and basically, never acted like a loving husband. He was a loving idiot, that forgot what it was all about.

He destroyed her long before I found her.

Nevertheless, I stuck it out through a 15 year relationship, which never worked, but I always loved and wanted to keep her.

Now, I did not go to the Philippines and bring one back.. I got one already here, and she was seven years older than me, better looking than 90 percent of the women that were younger than me here in the states. Still is too.  Divorced, but still close friends, (it took 5 years of separation for her angry fire to cool down enough to get divorced don't you know!).  

We have two of the best looking kids you'll ever see.  Strange cross of American and Filipino.  White skin that tans easily, and really good lookin faces.  Strong muscle build too.

So, if you want to have kids with a lady from the Philippines, the chances are good that you'll end up with something that you never would have imagined ever in your life.  My son is 14, and my daughter is 15.  Unreal.  They are some of the most unique kids... and good looking that you'll ever see. (Nah.. it's not that I like my own, anybody notices this immediately, because of their flatter noses, not the beak that I've got!). I guess, it's that I like their facial looks, because they are naturally... "pleasant".

I love the Philippines. The most intriguing time I ever had was sailing at night on a ship through the philippine islands, seeing the lights on shore.... in the mountains, small villages... the smell was almost intoxicating from a distance. (Not like your in downtown Manila sucking down the exhaust of the old jeepnee in front of you). It is virtually mystical, and probably one of the most beautiful places I have ever been to or seen. (I'm afraid to go back there, or else I might not ever return to the US!)

Another thing, that will blow your mind if you visit the Philippines, is if you see a white girl, that is so gorgeous that it just blows your mind, especially when she speaks Tagalog!  Most probably a us navy left over from some scum that bailed on her mother.

My first night out with my filipina lady way back when, I got stuck in the middle of the front seat of her car, with her friend on my right, her driving on the left, and my 10 speed in the trunk. (This was in San Diego); Tagalog city... wow! (I went to the fights and a hockey game broke out!).  Talk about immersion.

Unfortunately, I have always felt that the Philippines made a huge mistake by getting rid of the US Navy presence there, in 1992. I was on one of the last visits to Subic Bay that a USN ship ever made, and this base closure, changed the Philippines forever.  The promise of going to find an American man to marry, for all of the ladies in the islands immediately dried up, and with the loss of the subsidies of the USG for the bases et al, (as well as clark afb getting soused by mt pinatubo), nothing will ever be the same.

This is one serious situation that has created increased pressure on fiance's of foreign men to pay up the payola... As ANY filipina married to a foreigner is looked at like a lottery winner.  

Still, I love the people. I understand the desperation. I have been to the poor villages, with the broken down everything, slept in the shacks with lizards on the walls, (totally COOL as I love reptiles), listened to the constant howl of "baluuuuutttt" of the old man at midnight, squatted next to a gorgeous lady at the stream while she shows me how to use the detergent hand soap to clean clothes.. go around the corner to the cousin's sari sari store and pay a dang quarter for a huge bottle of san miguel.. the place truly has a way to grab your heart, and even though you're sweating your asx off, you don't want to leave.

You are the king of the hill.  They love you.  You love them back.  It is SO easy.  Kind of reminds me of the song Romantis by ace of base... only without air conditioning.

It's magic... you don't just fall in love with a woman, but an entire culture of very loving and wonderful people. (left the greed part in my back pocket here).  The folks just do NOT understand what life is like in the US.

So, if anyone is contemplating going there, do it. Pack light. Watch out for the little kids patting you on the pants.  Have a lot of spare change.  

I'm sorry this is so long... but I ended up on these threads by accident, and reading so many of these posts have brought back a lot of memories, most of them good, so I needed to vent.

My first time in PI was in 1981.
I love these people... they are a joy just to watch. I had this 10 or 12 year old kid come up to me on a bicycle wanting to sell me a garbage bag at 9:00 in the morning, (ya know... Glad trash bags), one single trash bag for 3 pesos. I asked him why on earth he was selling trash bags... of course, he told me his mother had no food. Gawd. I had 300 bucks in my pocket, I gave him a five and told him to take it to his mother. Man, I felt RICH! (that kid disappeared in a cloud of dust fastern you can say hoy!) I was the KING of this place!

One other time that I will never forget, (1992), was when there were 4 or 5 trike drivers competing for my transportation back to the base.  It wasn't a long walk, so I turned them down... but one guy got in front of me and got on his knees and begged me to only give him 10 pesos for a ride down the street.  This poor skinny man, was probably in his 40's (I was like 34) and had very little meat on his bones, much less clothes. Said he had a family to feed, and had no money, but he COULD give me a ride for any amount.. even 5 pesos.  I kept going, despite him kneeling down with his hands clasped on the boardwalk begging me to let him do this.

I got three blocks away, and finally it dawned on me that he was asking me for 12 stinking cents!  I felt like a total AZZ! I got ten times that between the cushions on my couch.  I walked back the three blocks, found him, and gave him a five dollar bill, and told him to take me to the base. There were tears in his eyes still, but at least he was smiling and yapping away in hysteria as I rode in the side car. Seeing his extreme happiness, from this chump American, I almost started crying like a baby. I felt so humiliated because of my own ignorance of true poverty.

This, is insane. But I don't know, I will live with these memories for the rest of my life, that I actually had the chance to make a man, that wanted to work, smile, when there was none... That poor barefoot kid on the bike years ago, I gave him money because he was actually trying to sell black trashbags wrapped around his handlebars. Not just beg. It made a difference to me, no matter how ridiculous it was.

Heck, these things still bring tears to my eyes when I think of them in detail, because these people do work so hard, for so little, and they are so sincere....  This is where you learn, that with fame and fortune, comes humility.

When you decide to go, you can be the king, but keep your humility in the right place, and understand that they do need... and not all of them are after your riches, they may only need a couple of bucks to pay their rent, or rather, buy a fish at the market to eat the next couple of days.

My advice, GIVE IT. Just pick your targets for conservative giving, wisely.  After all, you ARE rich when you go there, and you will feel much better after you get back, because you actually made some peoples lives easier, with a five dollar bill that you know would be blown on a 5 spot quik pick lotto ticket back home.

It is nothing to bask in glory in. It simply teaches you something about being a good man, and will do something more magical for your inner soul than your mother and father ever could.

Brian

... in response to The Philippines are Magic. (Warning - lo..., posted by BrianN on Sep 9, 2001

great post.. brought back good memories, from the mind...
we all need thatat times..

thanks..

... in response to The Philippines are Magic. (Warning - lo..., posted by BrianN on Sep 9, 2001

n/t

... in response to The Philippines are Magic. (Warning - lo..., posted by BrianN on Sep 9, 2001

Hi Brian,

You've written some very thought provoking posts. Though I've only been to the Philippines once (3 weeks), I also love it and the people. I was amazed by the ingenuity and hard work of many of the people. I can't help but wonder how much success they would achieve in a country like the US.

I'm sure glad you said "a beer guzzling 250 pound gorilla" and not a 251 pound water guzzling gorilla. It looks like I'm in the clear. ;o))

It's hard to save someone that has already been destroyed, whether by a man or by life itself. They must pick up most of the pieces themselves and put their lives back together again. I've been in this type of relationship a few times, without success.

I can't help but believe that poverty plays a major role in many failed Fil/Am marriages. I remember talking to my fiancee's 12 year old niece. She had seen some pictures taken at Disney World, in a photo album I had given to my fiancee. She told me that visiting Disney World some day, was the biggest dream she had for her life. I had to fight back the tears as she talked about it with a twinkle in her eyes. She asked me if I would take Marife there and I told her that I would someday. I didn't have the heart to tell her that we would go soon after Marife arrived. What happens when life's major dreams and goals become almost common everday reality. (Hey, I live in FL)? Going from only owning a pair of "slippers" and a pair of dress shoes, to becoming a bush-league Imelda Marcos. Charge cards with credit limits bigger than the annual incomes of several Filipino families. Private air conditioned cars, houses with running water and indoor flush toilets. It must be overwhelming for many ladies and each handles the situation differently. My ex and I had problems with financial and lifestyle adjustments, even though she was born in the US to immigrant parents. I think that most men and women go into these relationships with good, if not realistic intentions. The situation for some Filipinas is in some ways like a Westerner winning the lottery. After hitting the jackpot, everything looks wonderful and nothing bothers us...for a while. It is noble to want to save this person and help the entire family, but not always possible or a even a good idea. Some love you, some love your money and some fall somewhere between the two extremes. Some can't be saved from themselves, their families, or even from us. Choose well, then hope and pray, and do the best you can to make things work.

Dave H.

... in response to Welcome to PL!, posted by Dave H on Sep 9, 2001

Thanks,
If you spend any signifcant time with Filipinas, the entire culture will grow into you so fast before you know it, you don't say "hey" anymore... it's "hoy".

The community of people here, well, some of them that are highly successful, are a little snobbish, but the majority are not, and before you know it, you've got more friends than you ever imagined possible.  GOOD ONES too!

It's incredible the strength of the bonds that I've had with filipino guys here. They aren't built on the wwf, football.. or anything like that. They're much deeper and more sincere.

Never seen anything else this strong before... as my american friends so easily drift apart and go their own ways, it doesn't happen like this with the filipinos.

Oh well...

... in response to The Philippines are Magic. (Warning - lo..., posted by BrianN on Sep 9, 2001

Good observations Brian!

Yes, I had some good times in Subic and learned a lot about the people of the Philippines. I agree with your advice to go ahead and help out the unfortunate people who are willing to do any kind of work to support themselves and their families. No, that kid with the trash bags wasn’t a con artist. I too have bought some really bizarre stuff from street vendors that I never could have used, just to help a little. One of my favorites was this little kid selling buko salad (coconut) popsicles door to door. I became one of his best customers, but usually gave the stuff to some neighbor kids after he was gone. I do admire someone who is trying his best to make a buck in that kind of economy where jobs are so scarce.

I think your comments about the servicemen bringing back a Filipina “cutie” and then treating them like servants, or worse, is important to understanding why a lot of those marriages ended in divorce. I also have seen it happen too many times. I have known some really nice ladies that were literally treated like dirt after they got here. Eventually, they are going to learn the ropes of our legal system and file for a divorce. Unfortunately there are a few readers here that believe all of those failed marriages were the fault of the Filipina con artist wife in every case, like the man could never do anything wrong. Oh well, I guess some will never get it.

Sorry your marriage didn’t last, but I think it’s great that you are still on good terms. I was married to my first wife (Filipina) for 23 years and have three lovely daughters to show for it. We are still friends and have both moved on with our lives.

I wish you luck,

Ray

... in response to The Philippines are Magic. (Warning - lo..., posted by BrianN on Sep 9, 2001

It's about time there was a post like yours....keep the great posts coming Brian.

... in response to The Philippines are Magic. (Warning - lo..., posted by BrianN on Sep 9, 2001

A heart warming story BrianN. My wifes family in Negros Occidental are so grateful for our help. You help me understand how it is there. I have not been there yet. My wife is the sweetest person I have ever known. Thank you for your input here on PL.

... in response to The Philippines are Magic. (Warning - lo..., posted by BrianN on Sep 9, 2001

Good post.  It is sad people see the bad people in a country and only remember them and not the good ones.  Sorry about your "ex".  Can you give us a "trip report" on how you met her and the things that went wrong.  So some of us "fated" people don't repeat the same mistakes?

Bear