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NOTE: In case this msg. gets lost in the orig. thread, I've reposted it here.

1st. THANKS SO MUCH ! Tim, Dave H, Jim H, Zebson, humabdos, & Carl (did i leave anyone out ?)
Your very propmt and realistic advise will be well taken here. It makes excellent sense. AND thanks again,this seems like a really great group. I'm glad to be here &
can contribute some interesting info that some of you may or may not know.

The shark infested waters: I agree. A bang stick is ok, but depth charges might be needed as a last resort (hehehe)

Being in So. Calif. you can meet lots of people, lots of Fil. women here. I guess many of them come here to the U.S. on work contracts & with some luck, maybe I
could find a good 1 here. About 40% of the nurses here are Fil. BUT, If they can come here that way, on their own, they can be pickier about men they meet here &
thay can also become more spoiled as time goes by. ALSO, you do have more competition here from other men.
I will say 1 thing though, I know it's not 100%, but a nurse is far less likely to have ever worked in bars + if she becomes an RN, she'll make 40 to $75k / yr.. What
do you all think about what what I've said in this paragraph ?

Personals ads on the net: Fast & efficient IMO. The big BUT is this - The women get 100s' of responses very rapidly.
Its' a rat race of competition for us men ! IMO, Good looks & and/or a fat wallet go far here. And, most of the women get high expectations way beyond reason.
All-in-all though, I feel it can be fun too. I could start a whole new thread on this big subject.

My "oldies" lady, YES, an absolute gem ! A petite and very shapely spanish filipina with a heart of gold. She's is a very jealous little thing, and does have her faults of
course. All-in-all, she is one of this best things that ever happened to me. We've had great times together, she thinks I'm super romantic & smart & digs riding in my
400+ horespower classic muscle car. Yes, It goes real fast & gets really bad gas milage (hehehe)

BTW, I've noticed that many Fil. women put a big value on a man being loving & romantic. I like that.

Also, here's another big ? on the flip side : Fil. women do seem to lie a lot about even things that they don't have to lie about.
Do you guys (or any ladies here) have experience w/ this ?

Thanks again, everyone, Andrew777

... in response to Newbie advise: FOLLOW/REPLY UP TO THE GR..., posted by Andrew777 on Mar 22, 2001

Andrew,
 By the way, I'm a muscle car nut too.  I especially like the 70's Trans Ams - with more capable engines installed than the sickly stuff they came with from the factory of course!  I have a 77 TA with a Chevy 454 LS6 crate engine that will have to hold me over until I can realize my dream of replacing it with a 540 stroker Big Block.  I want something that I am truly afraid of!  LOL    Also have a 79 TA with a mildly modified 400 Pontiac that is fun.   This hobby just snow balls as far as cost goes, doesn't it?  haha
  What is your car?   If it was 400 HP from the factory must be something pretty interesting.  OK, guess that is enough "off subject" stuff for one message!
                                          SteveG

... in response to Muscle Cars?????, posted by SteveG on Mar 23, 2001

Hi Steve, My "road bully" is a 68 Chev.Chevelle SS clone. It was orig. a Malibu coupe. I did a 4-speed conversion - orig. Muncie M-21. Engine is a fully blueprinted to perfection, 4-bolt main 350. I had some of the best do the machine work & I did all the assembly. There are some other modernizations, electronic ign. & modern springs & shocks - it rides & handles much better than stock.  

BTW, if you wanna' go big block, build a 510. 600 streetable h.p. is easily attainable if all the components are well matched. Honda gets 240 hp out of a 2-liter (130 cu.in.) V-Tech 4cyl. on pump gas.

Andrew777

... in response to Re: Muscle Cars?????, posted by Andrew777 on Mar 25, 2001

Andrew,
 Looks like we have the same attitude towards Muscle cars, i.e. make your own rather than spending tons of money on the true original cars.  Adding the performance stuff to a base model car makes lots of sense if you want a driver. Your Malibu sounds interesting - I'd like to have a Chevelle/Malibu some day too - a 1970 model would make a nice home for my LS6, huh?  

 It's just too much trouble to go to such pain chasing the original parts when you can get modern parts to improve these cars, especially the handling as you state.  I used all polyurethane bushings in my car along with stiffer springs all the way around for a big improvement in high speed handling like you apparently did.

 Yep, one of the fastest cars I have challenged was an apparently highly modified Honda CRX.  That little rice burner was every bit as fast as my car!   Would love to have talked to that guy to see what he had done to it.  :)

                                           SteveG

... in response to Re: Re: Muscle Cars?????, posted by SteveG on Mar 25, 2001

Yes SteveG, modernizing the 60s' cars can yield suprisingly great results. For about $2.5k you can add computer controlled TPI to your big block and get 20% or more h.p. and a torque curve that's unreal ! AND lower fuel comsumption AND longer engine life to boot !

1970 Malibu: IMO the best looking of all the Chevelles.

My saying "I like cars that go real fast & get really bad mileage" is synnon. w/ a particular scene in Robo Cop 1, It was hillarious & so original I just to "cop" it.

Andrew777

... in response to Muscle Cars?????, posted by SteveG on Mar 23, 2001

Gotta love it. I love the smell of greasy hands in the morning!

... in response to WOW. Jen-You-Wine car talk.., posted by Jeff S on Mar 24, 2001

Jeff,
 Haha, yeah my friend and I used to joke about how we would get so much grease under our nails on the weekend it would take until Friday to clean it out, then we were right back into it again!  OF course we usually got a grease "booster" on Wensday nights at his house which became a tradition for years with all the Mustangs he seemed to accumulate.
                                      SteveG

... in response to What about the Sulfuric smell of Rear En..., posted by SteveG on Mar 24, 2001


than a man.  Although the decibels probably compensate for the difference.  LOL.

- Kevin

... in response to I's better that it comes from a car . . ..., posted by kevin on Mar 24, 2001

Kevin,
 Yep that other sorce of Sulphur can be a killer!!  :)
                                        SteveG

... in response to Re: I's better that it comes from a car ..., posted by SteveG on Mar 24, 2001

Ah ! , the smell of leather & gasoline vapor - 1966 3-2bbl. 427 vette.

Andrew777

... in response to Newbie advise: FOLLOW/REPLY UP TO THE GR..., posted by Andrew777 on Mar 22, 2001

Andrew,
  I noticed your comments about high competition among the many men responding to the ladies advertising on the Internet.   The fact that so many men worldwide can view a woman's ad would give you the impression that all the good ones would be snapped up right away, wouldn't it?  

  The reality is that even though thousands of guys may look at a woman's pictures and hundreds may buy her address and maybe 100 write to her, most will quit after a few letters and never go see her.   Not many guys are willing to carry on a long distance relationship because of the time and effort involved and, I suspect, the lack of the physical part of the relationship.  Plus there is a lot of time and money involved and there is no guarantee of success when you go to visit her.   Yes, sometimes the women say  "No".   It takes guts or maybe a little insanity to dive into this and see it through.  LOL   But the bottom line is this, the odds of any given woman getting married this way are very very slim.   Take it from someone who wrote to 265 ladies and kept up correspondence with 55 for months, it's not easy!  :)   I got sick several times from lack of sleep while writing all those letters.  
At the same time though it is fun unlike anything I ever experienced opening your mailbox and having letters fall out in piles every day.   I got 21 one day.  Woweeeeeeeee!!

  The odds of us guys finding a spouse, on the other hand, is darned high if you are a considerate and nice guy - I would even dare say it's 100% if you are willing to make this a top priority and just be open and honest to as many ladies as possible.  If you can't tell by now, I highly recommend buying addresses and then writing letters no matter how small you may think your chances are due to the woman's good qualities(personality, looks, religion, age....etc.)   So what if maybe the one you are infatuated with does happen to get engaged before you have a chance?  You didn't know her anyway, so just keep on writing and getting to know others.   The letter writing process is a great intro and screening of sorts to give you ideas of who Is and Is Not basically compatible with you without the extra expense of flying half way around the Earth to meet. It also gives you a history to talk about when you finally do meet in person.   Anyway, those are my thoughts.   Good Luck!
                                   SteveG

... in response to Newbie advise: FOLLOW/REPLY UP TO THE GR..., posted by Andrew777 on Mar 22, 2001

Yep, Pinays seem to tell You what they think you want to hear. OR to avoid confrontions they find it easier to lie than to tell the truth. The problem is not knowing when they are speaking the truth or lying. They are clever at covering up lying with their sweetness. That's my opinion. greg

... in response to Re: Newbie advise: FOLLOW/REPLY UP TO TH..., posted by greg on Mar 22, 2001

I can usually see through it. I listen to them VERY carefully & watch for contradictions & the like.

... in response to Newbie advise: FOLLOW/REPLY UP TO THE GR..., posted by Andrew777 on Mar 22, 2001

I'd go over to Mag-anak and look at the sponsored Filipinas that are looking for American men.  Thes are safer because yo meet them by introduction of Fil-Am couples here.  No cost involved as well.

I think there are "bad ones" in every culture.  None specific to the RP even if Humados thinks there is.  You just have to be caucious and pray about it.  You'll find the right one.  My experience is that there are some great lovely loving ladies out there who would be proud to be your wife and treat you like "gold pressed latinum".

Bear

... in response to If I were starting over...., posted by Bear on Mar 22, 2001

Thanks Bear, BTW what is Mag-anak?

... in response to Re: If I were starting over...., posted by Andrew777 on Mar 22, 2001

http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/maganak

... in response to mag anak, posted by outwest on Mar 22, 2001

Thanks, I'll check it out

... in response to Newbie advise: FOLLOW/REPLY UP TO THE GR..., posted by Andrew777 on Mar 22, 2001

Andrew, about the lying area part of your question. I guess that it depends on the filipina. Some can be fanatically honest and truthful too...But I think one aspect related to this lying is what often happens in an accepted practice of hiding the truth in order to save face of some kind in the culture. But generally, if that someone that I was in love with came right out and lied to me when I knew they were not telling the truth or I found out. They had better have a da*mn good reason/explanation for it or I am, "Exit stage left" on them relationship wise.

Zeb

... in response to Finding the truth in between the lies......, posted by Zebson on Mar 22, 2001

Yes, and the practice of hiding the truth in order to save face sounds right. I never thought of that one. Also, (my experience) that many if not most Fil. families are so super tight that not matter how much she loves you, you still come 2nd. My ex Fil. GF of 4.5 yrs. was torn between fam. & me. & I would, on occasion, give her an ultimatum : Them or Me. If you read my 1st post, you'll see my story and why I need a new one. Geeeesss! I just want to settle down w/ a good Fil. lady I can count on & we can be #1 4 each other. Simple as that.

Thanks 4 the reply, Andrew777

... in response to Re:  Finding the truth in between the li..., posted by Andrew777 on Mar 22, 2001

Andrew,

When you say family, I assume you mean her kids. I hope that doesn't include siblings too. It looks like she has not cut the apron (and maybe purse) srings from her children.

Provided that my fiancee considers me to be a good husband, I believe that she will put me (us) first. I know that the relationship is young, but she has already demonstrated this to me. I do not take advantage of it. Her family will be a very close second, certainly. I have seen this with her younger sister, who makes certain that her Kano husband is not taken advantage of by her siblings or mother. Children are another matter altogether. When they enter the picture, we all move down a notch, at least while they are still young and under the mother's care. ;o) I am finding this is happening already with my own children. I don't mind, they need a "real" mother.

If you marry the wrong woman, you could end up the "cash cow." Always the outsider, being milked for all you're worth. Hopefully, we will marry Filipinas that are "lactose" intolerant. ;o) Hey Kevin, I am already working on my tan. ;o))

Dreaming of the land of milk and honey,

Dave "Brown" H.

... in response to Milk and Honey..., posted by Dave H on Mar 23, 2001

Yes, Dave, she hasen't. And, we have lately had no life together.Andrew777

... in response to Re:  Finding the truth in between the li..., posted by Andrew777 on Mar 22, 2001

about who should really be #1 in a family relationship.  You speak of the family (parents and siblings) as taking priority over the husband (and possibly children, if any).  In the stereotype sense, it seems that if (being the husband) you were Pinoy, you would be #1.  But if the husband is a Kano, it's different.  

I beleive that there really is a prevalence of Pinay women holding potential husbands to two different standards.  If he's Pinoy, than it can and will only be a marriage for love and he will be #1.  If he's a Kano, than he's just good for the money and a means to serve her own kind.  He'll become her doormat, but the money pickin' is good.

The difference, true love shares mutual goals together.  Quid pro quo love means affection in exchange for one-sided material/monetary gain.  If it's quid pro quo "love", the affection is temporary and will turn into quite the opposite.

Speaking for the majority of us Kano's on the board, we're seeking a Pinay who will hold us to the same standards in a marriage as if our skin was brown instead of white.

- Kevin

... in response to I've recently wondered . . ., posted by kevin on Mar 22, 2001

No, Kevin you are mistaken in your belief.  We have no double standards when it comes to choosing a husband.  Your statement sounds like Filipinas are discriminatory.

I agree with May, we were taught to value our family (parents, siblings) but we are also taught to value our immediate family all the more (spouse, children).

But, you have to learn to accept our family as we are willing to accept yours.  How many of you address your in-laws as Mom and/or Dad?  And treat them like your own?  Have you noticed how Filipinas do that?  We are setting an example hoping that you guys will pick it up.

Learn to love your wife's family and she will love you more for it.  If you have a hard time doing so, learn to co-exist with them.  Family is family, they are the ones we will run to if things get rough.

... in response to Here's the deal..., posted by Carrisse on Mar 23, 2001

Carrisse,,,I always enjoy your insights into Filipina/American courtships.  Too often there are generalizations made about different topics and questions.  My fiance and I have talked about this subject of what is # 1 in our relationship.  Our relationship will come first, but, our families must remain first in our hearts. If we can help them, and if we can afford to, or if we need to, we will help them.  My mother is 74 years young.  She lives on 400 dollars per month,,,,sometimes i help her,,,doesn't mean that Vivian's and my relationship won't be first.  We will help as a partnership.

... in response to I've recently wondered . . ., posted by kevin on Mar 22, 2001

From birth,  we experience the love and warmth of our family and recognize that family will always come first.
BUT,  together with such teaching from our parents,  it is
also made clear to us, that once married,  then priority will have to be our family....meaning, the spouse, and eventually, the children.
Therefore,  spouses of filipinas  and/or filipinos, need not worry for they surely will be THE priority once married.

... in response to Re:  Finding the truth in between the li..., posted by Andrew777 on Mar 22, 2001

Andrew, as you may well know there is no perfect recipe for finding another soulmate...But in reflection and after all the years of relationships, I found myself going back to the basics in my approach to who I wanted to be with. It's obvious this answer will vary too, based upon different mens values, expectations and also the conditioning they have received about what and how they view a potential relationship. To be honest for me...the first thing I looked for in my soulmate was someone that I was physically attracted too. Because for me, I have to be visually stimulated enough to feel comfortable about maintaining both a mental, physical and emotional connection with another woman, also I looked for healthfulness along with this first area, do they take care of themselves, etc..Secondly, I wanted to be with someone I could communicate with and that has a good heart..loving, caring, thoughtful and genuinely kind and with integrity...Thirdly, I wanted a woman that is educated, intelligent and somewhat independant, In other words, capable of handling things herself up to a point, yet also aware of her need for a man and soulmate to balance and make her life complete.. And Fourthly I wanted a woman that had a strong spiritual side, believed in God and had some strong basic traditional values. Another thing that many guys may or may not be into, but that I have learned over the years is...that if I am going to marry a woman I am also looking at what she is going to bring into the partnership...not just oh darling I'll give you anything to make you happy butterfly type romances where you loose your head and can't think about the reality of how things might possibly go, both bad and good in 5,10 or 20 years down the road.....This is where for me in this day and age friendship and equality I feel should play a strong role in getting to know a woman, especiallly if you are a little older like me (I don't have the patience or time for headgames) Find out just how much she is expecting and what type of person she is too. Anyway..These are just some of the areas I focused on when I embarked upon finding a woman that I could love and would equally offer things to make me complete as a human being. I could go on..but that sums it up for how I approached things. Oh and on a side note, one of the things I did not mention was that procreation was not in the picture for me. Not because I can't have them either. But, I honestly have never had a desire to have children. And so I am probably one of the low percentile men that can't be put into that category of wanting to pass on my lineage, even though I guess I understand it to a degree...One of the things I feel strongly about also is the problematic reality surrounding about how many people want to just have children without fully realizing the intense responsibility attached to bringing a new human being into this world...Anyway that's a whole different subject...So it's been a difficult search to find a woman that feels the same way about all this too....but thank God I have.

... in response to Finding the right soulmate...my approach..., posted by Zebson on Mar 22, 2001

I fully agree w/ you. And I sure hope I can find same soon.