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[This message has been edited by don2222]

Hi all,
 Before i left for the Phils I decided to give the penpal route a try.  In the 2 months I have been here I have met a couple of dozen or more penpals.
First, nothing can ever be planned, there will almost always be some sort of delay or misunderstanding.
Second, 90% of Filipinas do not look like their picture.  The guys that fall in love with a picture on the internet may be in for a big surprise.
Third, many of the ads are not true. Many of the ads are placed by gays, or married women, or have pictures of filipina models.
Many of the ads actually have pictures of girly-boys.
My guess is that 25% or more of the ads are intentionally deceptive.

By talking on the phone, and by chatting I still am not able to predict how a meeting will go.  Some of the sweetest ones will show up with half a dozen relatives ready to be dined and taken shopping.
If a lady shows up with more than one chaparone, i politely explain it is rude to bring  so many friends and/or family expecting to be treated to a meal or movie by the "rich kano", and then I leave.
They are typically surprised by this, but I do try to be polite.

90% of the women that I have met have asked me for money at some point in time.  I always say no, and sometimes I will play along and ask for the name and hospital of the  sick and/or dying relative.
Once I start asking questions, the request for money changes or stops.
The attitude here is that foreigners are gullible idiots that will believe any lie put forth by the more clever Filipinos.
Most of the girls do collect and select.  Until married, the attitude is that it is best to have back-up plan in case anything should go wrong with the current number one.

Dental care.  Wow!, I don't remember there being so many women with rotten and missing teeth on my first trip here three years ago.
Maybe it is the lack of dental care combined with the Americanization of the Phils.  Maybe it is all the junk food that is available that is rotting these peoples teeth.  It is still surprising for me to meet some sweet, kind woman, and her mouth looks and smells terrible.
I just can't believe so many people starting in their teens and twenties are accepting of the fact that their teeth are literally falling out of their mouths.  There are so many people here in their twenties and thirties with false teeth.  It was a running joke for a while that every woman that I and another foreigner here would meet would have very bad breath.  So,  if a womans dental health is important to you, have her teeth cleaned and taken care of here in the Phils.  I am guessing the necessary dental care will be much cheaper here in the Phils.
Most dentisits charge $4-8 for a cleaning, and that is too expensive for many Filipinos.  Yes, I am particular about teeth, but I just don't remember seeing so many blackened teeth before.

Age, yes the filipinos do laugh at the may-december romances just as much as Americans do.  Come on, how many elderly Filipinos in the Philippines do you see married to young Filipinas?  You don't, almost all the romances or marriages here are by people close in age.
The rational is money, and that the older foreigner is less likely to screw around.  I am all for people marrying the person they love, but please don't think that it is perfectly normal for a Filipina to want a much older man.

Crab mentality.  Guys need to understand that in public many Filipinos consider any Filipina with a foreigner to be either a traiter or a prostitute or both.
That is one reason that some Filipinas do not like any PDA.  Plus, the gossip can be so insistent and so cruel.  Many guys think that the Filipina would be proud to parade the foreigner around the mall.
But, in reality, the Filipina is having to endure many angry looks from other Filipinos.  It is typically the very rebellious or very secure Filipina that you will see being affectionate with a foreigner in public.  

Being approached in public.  A "good girl" is not going to approach you in public.  Many prostitutes and girly-boys will approach a foreigner at the mall or other place.  Just keep in mind that the man must approach the good girl first, it is relatively easy to arrange a date with a good girl working at her job, but the man must make the first move.  

Virginity. The Filipino culture is such that many Filipino men only want to marry a virgin, but until married the men try to deflower as many filipinas as possible, typically dumping them after they get what they want.  Less than half the women I have met are virgins.
I really don't know understand the men that insist upon marrying a virgin, but the virgins that I meet I leave "as-is", I'm not going to be the one to be their first unless I plan to marry. And, even then, it is not important to me about a womans past relationships.
Also, many of the Filipinas do lie about being a virgin, it goes along with their culture of telling you what they think you want to hear.

Chaparones.  Many ask to bring a chaparone, and I tell them it is okay to bring only one.  The more mature women tend to meet you alone in a public place.  

Other foreigners.  UGH!  I have seen and heard so many embarassing things.  Most Filipinas are SHOCKED that I do not smoke or drink.
Foreigners do have the reputation of getting drunk and rude.
Many foreigners try to insist that the Filipina meet him alone for the first time in his hotel room, how stupid do they think the women are?  Almost all of the women have received at least one nude photo from an American, and have been aggressively requested to engage in sex chatting.  I try to explain that  chatting with the rude men is absolutely useless, most of the men will never visit, they are just getting some cheap thrills by playing with the women.

Single mothers,  Wow!!, what aggressive women!!.  I have met a few, and since the culture of the Phils frowns on any Filipino marrying a single mom, the women with kids are very aggressive.  The word has gotten out that Americans are more open to women with children, and the impression I get is that the ones that i have met would agree to marry anything with a pulse.

Desperation.  I have read somewhere that " if you rescue a damsel in distress, all you end up with is a distressed damsel".
Many of the families are so desperate they may try to force their daughter to marry any foreigner that comes along.
I was offered one daughter for marriage for $3000, that was on the first meeting, and before I had even spent 20 minutes with the woman.
A guy can help a desperate family now, but he does not realize that the desperation does not go away, there will always be more problems and need for more and more money.

One of my questions in a first meeting is "how many babies do you want?".  Recently I met a Filipina that  says she does not want any babies, that she does not like babies !!  Could be interesting, she told me that without my expressing any opinions of my own.
Yes, I may have met the one-in-forty-million Filipinas that does not want to have kids!  Of course, only time will tell why she is different from the others.  So far, she has proven to be a really nice person.

The best women that I have met still tend to be the ones that don't even know how to use the internet.  I still think that is the best way to find a good woman.

Just my experiences and opinions only!

Don

... in response to Meeting the penpals, or One in 40  Milli..., posted by don2222 on May 16, 2003

[This message has been edited by outwest77]

I found most filipinos to have beautiful teeth, i am jealous.... but also take into consideration many dentists there.........love to pull teeth, I took my gf to a dentist last august in Manila, the dentist office was like something from WWII, no xray machine, etc.

The dentist looked at my gfs teeth and promply proclaimed that she needed 9 teeth PULLED, and there was no way to save them no way around it. Well we left there in a hurry.

As far as filipinas being with foreigners, i think its mostly jealousy,
not that the people really think that the girl is only in it for the money.
Now if the guy is 70 with a 19 yr old, i am sure it causes more suspicion, etc, and to me that is somewhat justified but to each his own.. But in general i think its mostly jealousy, crab mentality , after all, if they can make a crude statement like that............that the girl is in it only for the money.......it knocks her off her pedestal,

I never felt the dirty looks, in fact i felt like Tom Cruise in the malls in manila,

Regardless of all this, i plan to spend 6-8 months in the phils this next year, mostly on business but also with my gf, and i love that country, and its people, never boring, never a dull moment, its nice we have a board like this to share our stories

... in response to Meeting the penpals, or One in 40  Milli..., posted by don2222 on May 16, 2003

Don,

GREAT post!

Many of my observations were similar to yours.  Some of what you're reporting is unfamiliar territory to me, because I had established a reltionship with Gerlie before I went to the Philippines.  So the whole meeting good girls vs not so good girls thing is beyond my area of expertise.  I only met one and she was good ;)  lol

The Dental thing is something I noticed, but mostly in Men.  Maybe it's just more a rural vs city thing.  Gerlie is from Panabo City, which boarders Davao.  Her buddies all seemed to have nice enough smiles, as well as her family.  Maybe they place greater emphasis on this in Davao :P  Just aiming in the dark on that one :P

The weird thing about foreigners there for me was that alomst none were American no matter how American they looked.  I could have bumped into most of these guys at a local hardware store and not thought anything of it.  They looked American to me!  The American :P  Out of the dozen or so I saw, only one was American, he was a Canadian from Vancouver and the only one that made an effort to have a conversation.  Besides him, the rest went so far as to seem openly hostile if I made eye contact looking for a an aknowledgement to begin a conversation.  I am not the type to walk up to a complete stranger and begin a conversation without provocation :P  THAT I find to be rude :P  But, I will certainly reciprocate if someone else initiates.  

For the record all of the guys I saw were older than I am(I'm 37) and all of their wives--they all seemed to be married with children--were much younger.

I think the main reason for their attitudes is similar to how I feel in any chatroom where there are Filipinas and American guys.  Obviously, these guys did this a while ago.  When they see me they assume that I am one of the "chatroom dorks" that is just looking for a good time.  I get the "You're ruining our little secret..." vibe and for the most part I don't blame them for their attitude.  

I have heard SO many stories of the incredibly insincere.  I think it took six months to really convince Gerlie that not only do I mean what I say, but that I wasn't an obnoxious, cybersex crazed, former High School geek in sheep's clothing just waiting to expose myself when I felt I had her hooked :P  

Although the Chatroom, at least at CB, has seemed to have taken a turn for the better lately, I used to get so irritated at the class of guys that used to frequent it.  It was like all the guys with the tired old cliche` pickup lines, that always went home from the bar alone, united and decided the internet was a big enough singles joint that they could actually hold a girl's hand :P  My lord the dork factor as off the charts!  Oooooops, guess I got off on a rant :P

One thing you didn't mention anything about that I was wondering if you were expiriencing is the friend factor.  There are definitely the desperate and unscrupulous friends to beware of.  It seems like not only is there jealousy directed toward your Mahal, but that many would betray her in a second, should you turn your fancy to them.  It seemed some would even go so far as to hint at it and deny their intentions if taken to task.  To me THAT was disturbing.

Anyway, didn't mean to make this so long   I enjoyed your insight and can't wait to hear more :)

Keep the Faith man!

H

... in response to Excellent Post!, posted by Howard on May 17, 2003

Hi Howard.
 YES!!!, Many times the friends of the woman that I am meeting will contact me later and let me know that they are interested.  If that happens, I just ignore the friend in order to save face for the woman that I originally met.
But, also, sometimes the woman that I am meeting will realize that we are not compatible, and will suggest one of her friends for me. That is really sweet, and I have met some really special people that way.

Take Care,

Don

... in response to Meeting the penpals, or One in 40  Milli..., posted by don2222 on May 16, 2003

Hey Fred,

Are you behaving yourself????

tito Matt

... in response to Meeting the penpals, or One in 40  Milli..., posted by don2222 on May 16, 2003

Hi Don,

Good observations! I just have a few comments on some things you said, based on my own experiences over the years.

Internet: I haven’t used the Internet myself to meet Filipinas, but from what I’ve seen and heard, I agree with you that it definitely is not the best way to meet! It would be better to travel to the Phils on vacation or get referrals from stateside Filipino families.

Chaperones: You said if she shows up with more than one chaperone, you tell her that she is rude and then you walk out? This sounds very harsh to me. Is this a first meeting? If you have never met her before, I would expect 2 or 3 chaperones. More than that is probably too much. If you had explicitly requested that she only bring along one guest, then perhaps she is being rude, assuming that she understood your request. If she and her guests openly say that they are all along to be treated to meal and a movie by a rich kano, then I agree that they are being very rude, but do you know for a fact that that was their intention, or are you just assuming the worst? Even though you think that she is being rude by bringing too many chaperones, you should NEVER openly accuse her of being rude, especially in front of her friends and family! You caused her to lose face in front of her friends and that is inexcusable in Filipino culture. There is no “polite” way to accuse her of rudeness. Yes, it’s understandable that they were surprised that you walked out and they were likely left with the impression that you were just another rude American. You could always fake a case of diarrhea or something and bow out gracefully without embarrassing her. I think that’s how a Filipino would do it. Better yet, don’t put yourself in a situation where you may have to spend $10 and buy lunch for 5 guests. For a first meeting, why not invite them for a walk in the park or something that doesn’t cost a lot. Set a meeting time of 1:30 to 2:00 p.m. so that everyone will have already eaten lunch, and ask ahead of time how many guests she will bring so you won’t be so surprised and have to embarrass her.

Age differences: How many elderly Filipinos in the Philippines have I seen married to young Filipinas? Actually, quite a few compared to what you see in Western cultures. The Filipinos of Chinese descent in particular seem to marry much younger women. When I was living in Olongapo City years ago, my landlords were a Chinese gentleman and a Filipina lady at least 50 years his junior. They had about 8 or 9 kids, all very educated, and seemed to be an extremely happily married couple. I agree that the norm is that most Filipinas will prefer a Filipno guy who is very near to her age, but there are definitely a good percentage who genuinely prefer older men. Some years ago, I met a very nice divorced Filipina in San Diego who asked me to marry her. She was 25 years younger than me and I had to turn her down. She eventually remarried and I met her and her new husband by chance. He was older than me and neither one of us was anything near being wealthy. She just simply preferred much older men. Why? I don’t know because I didn’t ask her. My point is that it may not be the norm, but Filipinas preferring older men is definitely not unusual. I have found that a Filipina of 35 years or older is much more likely to be interested in older guys that the young teenagers are. Perhaps that’s all they can get at that age? I was just curious Don. How old are the women typically that you are going out with and what are your age differences? Are you dating ladies of approximately the same age?

“If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you end up with is a distressed damsel”: I believe that’s one of Doctor Laura’s favorite lines. I agree that there is a lot of truth to that!

Children: I have known several Filipinas in their 30s or 40s who never had children and did not want any. But to find one who also doesn’t like children is definitely out of the ordinary! Are you sure she wasn’t one of those “girly-boys”??? (LOL)

Keep posting your observations. They are very educational for the readers here.

Ray

... in response to Re: Meeting the penpals..., posted by Ray on May 16, 2003

[This message has been edited by don2222]

Hi Ray,
 Most of the women that I am meeting are in their mid-twenties.
It has happened several times that a womans family and/or friends  will show up stating "we're hungry! we want to go to the movies!" literally demanding to be fed and entertained. In those circumstances, yes, I do explain that they are being rude. I don't care about saving face, and I might be the ugly American, I just do not appreciate having a half-dozen people show up looking to get a free ride.
Several times I have actually asked the woman if she brought all these people expecting me to pay for everything, and the answer is always yes.
But also,  if the people show up just curious about me, and do not ask for anything, then of course, I have no problem with that.
If you reread my post you will see that I typically do request that they bring only one chaparone.

Also, I am seeing a change in the attitudes in some Filipinos since my last trip here.  There does seem to be a more demanding attitude among some of the Filipinos.  Maybe it is due to a worsening economy, or due to the word getting out that some foreigners are very gullible, I don't know.
Hope this clarifies things a little.

Don

... in response to Clarification, posted by don2222 on May 17, 2003

[This message has been edited by Ray]

Thanks for the clarification Don. That's amazing! It is so untypical of Filipinos to boldly demand freebies like that. Usually they are much more subtle and polite about it. I guess times and attitudes are changing pretty fast like you said.

When you say that you don't care about the saving face thing, you are ignoring a very big part of Asian culture. I don't blame you for feeling pissed when someone starts sucking like leeches, but how you handle it can make a lasting impression on Filipinos and their attitudes towards Americans in general. Teaching them a lesson in “proper” American etiquette by humiliating them in front of their friends only compounds the problem I think. Maybe the poor girls are really quite innocent and simply have a bunch of a-holes for “friends” & family members. I would at least consider cutting them some slack on a first visit and perhaps talking to them about it later in private, where they won’t be humiliated in front of friends. That way they will be more likely to understand where you are coming from and learn something positive from the experience. Anyway, that’s what I would try to do.

Sometimes they may deserve a public tongue lashing for their outrageous behavior, but on the possibility that it was all an innocent misunderstanding during a first meeting, I would try to be a little more “diplomatic” and maybe give them the benefit of the doubt. The guys are always expected to pay in a traditional Filipino dating situation, so it’s always possible that there can be misunderstandings of intentions. I know it’s sometimes easy to forget that you are in a different country with a whole different set of values. Some things we may not like, but it’s futile to try to “educate” them in the “proper” way to do things, and can make us look like the arrogant foreigner trying to impose our values on them. Also, causing the wrong person to lose face in public at the wrong time may just get a butterfly knife stuck in your gut, so be careful out there.

Just some thoughts,

Ray

... in response to Cultural Differences, posted by Ray on May 18, 2003

Good analysis Ray.........you seem like you are up on the filipino nuances of culture...........

... in response to Cultural Differences, posted by Ray on May 18, 2003

[This message has been edited by don2222]

Hi Ray,
 You said "The guys are always expected to pay in a traditional Filipino dating situation"
Yes, that is true here, but a Filipina would never bring 6 people with her on a meeting with a Filipino date, and expect him to pay for everyone.
Also, a filipina would never ask a Filipino on a first meeting for gifts like clothes, a load for the cell phone, taking all her friends to the movies, new shoes, etc.
Why is it ok to treat a date with the foreigner differently than you would someone from your own culture?

Thanks,

Don

... in response to Re: Cultural Differences, posted by don2222 on May 18, 2003

I think you missed my whole point Don. I NEVER said it was O.K. to treat foreigners differently.

I was only trying to discuss different ways of dealing with those situations when they come up.

Ray

... in response to Re: Meeting the penpals..., posted by Ray on May 16, 2003

I agree with both Don and Ray i have seen each side of the age thing,Jessica and i are 20 years age diff me the older there has been no problems here after 5 years of marriage not from my family or hers or any other source,in my opinion if you are soooooo picky about finding the perfect women you never will.
I met Jessica on my first trip to PI,i never did e-mails with anybody or wrote 1 letter,i new what i wanted in a women and when i found it i went after it and got it.
Jessica sends $200.00 dollars every other month to her parents she works and it is her money she also buy'S almost all our food with her pay check she works at a grocery store
also she gives MY kids money when they are in a bind,(the sex is more than i can handle almost)did i make a mistake not in your wildest dreams and we only knew each other 3 weeks,am i the exception i don"t think so the rest of the happy guy"s don"t read this board they dont need to i read it because i started here before i went there remember Ray we started out together with Tim
TNEAL

... in response to Re: Re: Meeting the penpals..., posted by nealt on May 16, 2003

I'm glad to hear that everything is working out for you two. WOW! Has it been 5 years already? How time flies! We just celebrated out 3rd anniversary last month and married life couldn’t be better. Did you just recently finish the removal of conditions for her green card? That’s what we are going through now. How long did yours take?

Yeah, I remember your story how you met Jessica by accident when you were on the tour. I guess some people just get lucky. I remember your big fight with Houndog because he insisted that everyone must have a plan. Well, I wonder who’s method worked out the best, yours or Houndog’s? ROTGDFLMFAOTNTPIMGDP!

I also remember when Tim and many others posted here regularly. Remember when Don the Walker was still an enlisted man? I think that was about 3 retirements ago :-). I guess that was back before we started telling fart jokes and chased everyone away (LOL). So tell me Tom, does Jessica laugh when you rip one or does she kick your ass?

Also, I noticed that your spilling has improved 1000%. Did you start using a spell checker or what???

Ray

... in response to Hi Tom!, posted by Ray on May 16, 2003

Bad spelling is Patrick's fault....he should have a spell checker.

BUT.....TNeall's spelling was so far off that a spell checker wouldn't know which word he was referring to.  LOL

Stephen

... in response to Hi Tom!, posted by Ray on May 16, 2003

Yes removel was last thursday but now she still has to keep up her PI passport which expires in august and the only way we can get it renewed is through the PI embassy which is impossible to contact9(THEY DON'T ANSER THE PHONE) so we are screwed if we want to travel outside the U.S untill she becomes a citizen i still don"t understand what is goeing on the way i see it they are only allowed to travel outside the U.S is if there PI passport is in force.
What a waste of money we pay tax dollars for embassies in PI and pi pay money for thers here and nobody answers the phone at either one,what a joke.
The 5 year interview lasted about 1 minute nothing asked she saw us together and said is the same person you married i said yes she said yes that was it.
tneal

... in response to Re: Hi Tom!, posted by nealt on May 16, 2003

Tom,

Which P.I. consulate are you trying to call?

I don't know if you can find a similar service where you live, but here in San Diego, there are a bunch of Filipino-owned travel agencies that will handle all the consulate stuff for you for a reasonable fee. I think they charge about $25 service charge to hand-carry your passport and renewal application to the appropriate Philippine consular office and get your new passport for you. They have all the forms and I can save more than $25 in gas alone by not having to drive up to Los Angeles. You might want to ask around in your area if there is anything like that available.

Is Jessica going to apply for citizenship?

Ray

... in response to Re: Hi Tom!, posted by nealt on May 16, 2003

I have been meaning to call you on the phone again, but I've lost your phone number.

(You were gone from here for quite a while, and I was worried about you folks.)

Stephen

... in response to Hey Tom...., posted by Stephen on May 16, 2003

I never went anywhere just didn;t post
tneal

... in response to Re: Meeting the penpals..., posted by Ray on May 16, 2003

"Whoops! hurry call - you'd better go to the movies without me. Do you happen to have any kaopectate? Bye!"

- Jeff

... in response to ROFL Ray - great idea..., posted by Jeff S on May 16, 2003

Hey Jeff,

I was looking at your fishing page the other day and noticed that it hasn't been updated for a while. Have you had a chance to get out on the water lately?

I see that old photo of Hairy Humabdos and his Rock Cod is still up there. Nice fish, but MY GOD! He looks like some creature from the deep! I hope Sally hasn't seen that! TNTPINGDP!

http://home1.gte.net/jspira/fishing/t_fishpic.html

Ray

... in response to Re: ROFL Ray - great idea..., posted by Ray on May 16, 2003

I'm planning a major update of the page shortly. I just couldn't invest the time to keep it updated twice a week - even then I got a lot of complaints that it wasn't updated daily. There's some really good reports pages like this one: http://www.sportfishingreport.com - so I'm converting mine to a "where and how" page with gps coordinates, etc. That way it won't need constant attention. No chance to compete with the pro pages that sell advertising to the landings.

I've been getting out quite often - for a while every week,  but not the last couple. The weather has either been raining or blowing and the fishing has sucked. The fishing is starting to blow wide open now, though. There are Yellowtail at San Clemnete Island, White Seabass at Catalina and Barracuda locally. Sould be a great season.

Yeah, old hairy Hum. That mug makes me giggle too. It's kind of an 80's era-that-taste-forgot look. It looks like all you need to add is some BeeGees music and he's start bustin a Vinny Severino move.

- Jeff

... in response to Meeting the penpals, or One in 40  Milli..., posted by don2222 on May 16, 2003

......

... in response to Meeting the penpals, or One in 40  Milli..., posted by don2222 on May 16, 2003

Wow, how long have you been there?  You have picked up so much accurate information - even people's motives.  You hit it right on the head!
Especially about the Filipinos' perception of women who marry foreigners.  My husband would glare at people looking at us and then whisper, yes some people do that.  He thought they were making comments about him so I explained that it was because I was with him that they were acting so rudely. My own mother thought I was marrying him for his money (I'm still trying to locate it) which doesn't say a lot about me but says a lot about how little she knows of her daughter...LOL!
I insisted absolutely no PDA when we were in the PHilippines even when we were engaged.  I could handle the stares and whispering but I was concerned for my husband.  Over here, he is very surprised at how affectionate I am in public.

You're one Kano no one will ever worry about that's for sure.  Are you sure you're not Pinoy?

... in response to Re: Meeting the penpals, or One in 40  M..., posted by Mita on May 16, 2003

Hi Mita,
 Well, I have spent a total of about 10 months here, and my degree is in Psychology, so I guess that it is just natural for me to try to understand the world around me.
I still don't understand everything, and probably never will.  But, I do try to take the time to learn from those around me.  Most Filipinos will explain the good and the bad to you, if you take the time to ask them.
Thanks for you comments,

Don

... in response to Meeting the penpals, or One in 40  Milli..., posted by don2222 on May 16, 2003

Hi Don,

That is some very useful information for guys courting Filipinas. It was very interesting for me also. It reinforces my belief that I was very fortunate to have found my wife and also thankful for her family. I was never asked for anything and have always been treated well (pampered)...even to this day, 3 years later. No sex chat or nude photos...not even of me in my purple G-string. ;o))) My wife was a non-cellphone owner and non-Internet user. Good luck in your quest!

Dave H.

... in response to Meeting the penpals, or One in 40  Milli..., posted by don2222 on May 16, 2003

Don,
Thank you for writing your observation here about filipino/filipina.Your 100% right on your observation.Raquel

... in response to Re: Meeting the penpals, or One in 40  M..., posted by Febtember on May 16, 2003

nt

... in response to Meeting the penpals, or One in 40  Milli..., posted by don2222 on May 16, 2003

I can agree with 95% of that.

"But, in reality, the Filipina is having to endure many angry looks from other Filipinos."  

I don't remember getting a lot of angry looks from Filipinos on my last trip in Davao with Sallie. But I do remember giving plenty of dirty looks at old fat bald kano's with there 18 year old girl friend on a shopping spree! I never really cared for Cebu. Have you been over to Dumaguete yet?

Hum

... in response to Very good Don!, posted by Humabdos on May 16, 2003

Hi Hum,
 I like Dumaguete a lot, it is a really nice town to rent a scooter, and do a little roaming around.  The boardwalk is really nice, as long as the wind is blowing in the right direction.

Sometimes my companion will tell me what is said to her long after it happens, taxi drivers have been pretty bad about making sexual remarks.  The women never tell you as it happens, but sometimes you learn about it after.
Maybe it is the worsening economy, but I am sensing a little more hostility and/or jealousy from a few.
Maybe it was there when i was here before, but i am more aware of it now.  
Actually a few penpals have expressed nervousness about talking to me in public, they don't like the stares from others.

Don

... in response to Re: Very good Don!, posted by don2222 on May 16, 2003

Hi Don,

I've been waiting for 3 years for my wife to tell me what a rude Muslim said when we were shopping. I think she is afraid that I will return to pay him a visit. But I am not a violent person. It was all kind of humorous. All 95 pounds of her damn near threw 230 pound me into an open doorway, before she went after him. He retreated by the time I had made my way back to the street. :o)))

Dave H.

... in response to Re: Very good Don!, posted by don2222 on May 16, 2003

One  of my favorite rides is up to Valencia above Dumaguete it's nice and cool up there. I once thought of retiring in Valencia. Have you been to the water fall above town I think its called cassaroa  (sp)

Hum

... in response to Re: Re: Very good Don!, posted by Humabdos on May 16, 2003

Nope, I missed that place, but I do plan to return.
Am thinking about getting certified while I am here.
Can you recommend a place?  (I know I am certifiably crazy, just need a diving certification)

Don

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Very good Don!, posted by don2222 on May 16, 2003

Yes, Moalboal is inexpensive and the diving is good.  I like Seaquest Divers/Sumisid Lodge: 5 day open water certification = $300; 6 days/5 nights AC room w/full board @$36 per night = $180.  So total cost is $480, not bad.

seaquestdivecenter.com

Jim

... in response to Moalboal, posted by Jimbo on May 16, 2003

Where is Moalboal isnt it near Cebu, and how much are the
hotels there, and how would you compare it to Puerto Galera, Jimbo

... in response to Re: Moalboal, posted by outwest77 on May 18, 2003

Hey OW,

Moalboal is a 2.5 to 3 hour ride on the other side of the island from Cebu City.  The diving is actually at Panagsama beach.  I haven't been to Puerto Galera.  Like Hum said, there are some clubs around but the beach was quiet at night where I was staying.

Jim

... in response to Re: Moalboal, posted by Jimbo on May 18, 2003

Thanks Jimbo i have to get out of Puerto galerra well only went there once but even though it was ok there has to be better places, thanks for the directions and heads up

... in response to Moalboal, posted by Jimbo on May 16, 2003

nt

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Very good Don!, posted by don2222 on May 16, 2003

Moal Boal (Cebu)is the place to get certified. I got certified there in 94. They have the best price. Try Savarda( i think)

... in response to Re: Very good Don!, posted by don2222 on May 16, 2003

Dumaguete is actually the only town in which I have experienced any obvious  physical hostily.  I was riding a scooter past a construction site, and one of the workers intentionally threw a shovel into my path. I was going about 40 mph, so if I had hit the shovel, both me and my friend would have wrecked and probably been seriously hurt.  The girl with me knew it was intentional, and really got verbal with the guy.
Of course, we were not wearing helmets, as they are not even available.

Don

... in response to Also.., posted by don2222 on May 16, 2003

I would have paid someone to beat the hell out of the Guy! I spent a lot of time in Dumaguete and never had any problems. I lived there for five months on one trip. I don't think that kind of thing happens much. Maybe his girl friend ran off with a Kano? Hum

... in response to Re: Also.., posted by Humabdos on May 16, 2003

You are right, I would never, ever get into a fight with a filipino, too many of them, and only one of me!
How much would I have to pay?  Probably a 1000 pesos would be enough for a good show.
Have you written a guide for Dumaguete?  It is a really cool little town.  

Don

... in response to Re: Re: Also.., posted by don2222 on May 16, 2003

P1000 would buy him a real good ass whipping! That's at least a weeks pay.  Most of my info on Dumaguete is three or four years old.  It's one of the best small towns in the PI in my book.
Hum

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Also.., posted by Humabdos on May 16, 2003

Hum,

I've never been to Dumaguete, but I have known quite a few Filipinas over the years who are from the Dumaguete area. I don't know if it's just a coincidence or what, but the ladies from that area are overall the most beautiful of all the Filipinas that I've known. Do you think it might be something in the water?

Ray

... in response to Dumaguete, posted by Ray on May 16, 2003

It's the Rum you where drinking lol!  I think it's Silliman university that attracts the well to do pretty young women. the water made me sick! Hum

... in response to Meeting the penpals, or One in 40  Milli..., posted by don2222 on May 16, 2003

Thats new to me. In my 4 and half month of meeting many Filipinas I never notice the young ones having bad dental or breath. What you wrote about many poor Pinays is expected, since jobs are for the few..Many Filipinas must help others, which means paying less care, attention to their own needs. Sooo really what Your posting can be pointed at the poor and needy. If Guys were poor like them and living in RP, I 'm sure that Guys would be walking around with bad teeth and breath in worst shape than the Pinays they meet. Once Pinays are here in America around good People their Standard of self worth, grooming would improve remarkably. Anyway, we must admit that what your saying about the Pinays goes both ways. The Foreigners in RP I saw were mostly old, bald, fat, sloopy dressed with bad teeth and with bad behavior to boot..Most Pinays I meet in America that came from RP change for the better, as I said..it depends on the company she's involved with once in America. My guess is that maybe you should try meeting the Filipinas that got good Jobs and money to take better care of themselves, you should expect the poor and needy to be in the kinda position you described.

... in response to Hi Don, Gooood Pointers..Baaaad Teeeth &..., posted by greg on May 16, 2003

[This message has been edited by don2222]

hi Greg,
 Maybe I am going a little overboard on the teeth thing.
It is one of the first things I notice, so I am a little particular about them.
Anyway, I did not notice a relationship between a womans financial status and her teeth.  I think it is more of a cultural thing that teeth are just viewed as not that important, and that it might just be normal to loose your teeth as you get older.

Thanks,

Don

... in response to Hi Don, Gooood Pointers..Baaaad Teeeth &..., posted by greg on May 16, 2003

very good post Greg.Thank you

... in response to Meeting the penpals, or One in 40  Milli..., posted by don2222 on May 16, 2003

Sounds like you're really learning a major lesson. Thanks for the treatise. BTW are you still optomistic? Have you thought of trying somewhere else?

- Jeff

... in response to Wow, Don..., posted by Jeff S on May 16, 2003

[This message has been edited by don2222]

Hi Jeff,
 I have had some really nice experiences, and have met some really special people.  Just trying to express my opinion that meeting women through the internet is probably the very worst way.  The internet has gotten to be too popular with the ones with bad intentions.
So many guys are meeting penpals I thought I would give it a try myself.
Not all are bad.
There is one penpal that I met in Ilo-ilo.  I scheduled my arrival to be the day before her birthday, and I asked her if I could take her and her friend swimming.
While we were getting ready to go swimming, my penpal burst out into tears, I mean she is crying so very hard I am freaking out a little.  I thought I must have said something so horribly offensive.  After about 10 minutes of consoling her it comes out that no one has ever done anything special for her birthday before, nothing at all.
She is actually crying tears of joy.
The more time I spent with her, the more I realized that we are incompatible due to religious reasons, but, she is still one of the nicest, sweetest people I have ever met, and I don't think I will ever forget the time I spent with her.  That is why I am here, the little, unexpected memories are the ones that
I will never forget.
Plus, I have met some other really special people in my travels.
I do have some more positive stories to tell, for a later date,

Don

... in response to Meeting the penpals, or One in 40  Milli..., posted by don2222 on May 16, 2003

I guess that I?m lucky! Thank God! I met Era, along with about fifty more, on the Internet. Our first contact was in August 2001. Era is thirty years younger than me, works in SM mall, and makes $70 per moth. She is Church of Christ and religious. By December, It was down to her and two others that I was interested in meeting. I ?met? her aunt, who is married to a guy in North Carolina, and was impressed.
   Era has never asked for any money from me. I sent her and her mother and brother a small gift, with her aunt, for Christmas. I also sent $25 to buy them Dinner. Between then and June, when I visited her, I sent her money twice. I sent her money to get professional portraits, and fifty dollars for her birthday. She complained once about hurting wisdom teeth. I offered to pay, but she never mentioned it again.
  When we met, at my hotel, she brought two cousins. I offered supper but all refused, but did drink a coke and shared a piece of pie and ice cream. The next day Era, a cousin and I explored Cebu. After that we were left alone. I did take her mother and brother out to eat several times. We also took her aunt and cousins to Virgin Beach Resorts, for a couple of days.
  Because of her honor, we never did anything. I ?knew? that she would marry me if I asked, but I was not sure. After I returned, I missed her and decided that she is the one. Since I asked her to marry me, I have sent her some money every month, but not much. She is still working. As soon as she is contacted by the embassy I think that she will quit. I think I have a ?keeper?! I thank God for my luck. capt david

... in response to Thank God, I got luck!., posted by capt david on May 16, 2003

David,
She works at SM huh?  There are sooo many pretty young women working there.  I swear I would gawk at some of them myself whenever I'd shop, amazed (and a little envious of - hey, I'm a woman after all!) at their beauty.  
She's a pearl, a gem, a diamond!  Keep her and marry her before someone else snatches her away!!!!!!!!
Mita

... in response to Thank God, I got luck!., posted by capt david on May 16, 2003

[This message has been edited by Mark33]

Captain,
     You seem like a very nice guy. But I hope you are taking care of your health issues,so this young girl will not end up being a nurse maid.  

  I may get flamed for this, but in the past, you mentioned some health problems due to your weight. Are you making sure to watch your diet? have you lost weight? having such a big age diffrence can be an issue,that along with not being at the same level physically can make it a bigger issue.

  Also, you do not want children.  What happens if a few years down the line she decides she really wants children? What happens when she finds out younger America men are attracted to her,and more than willing to start a family?

  This girl sounds like a saint,and seems to be willing to give up so much to be with you. Try to make sure she feels lucky about having you in her life too. Otherwise,as Don says rescuing the damsel in distress may pose to be a big problem in the long run.

... in response to Thank God, I got luck!., posted by capt david on May 16, 2003

on them lol..Anyway I'm curious to how you met non Catholic Christian Filipinas. What websites??? Church of Christ??? Interesting

... in response to Hey Captian, Don't U goo being Cheap, posted by greg on May 16, 2003

... and am still loosing about a pound a week. My blood pressure is 125 over 75 and cholestral is 140, with medications but I plan to lose at least another fifty pounds. thanks, capt david