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Hi Everyone,

Soon I plan to start looking for a Vietnamese partner and would like some information about the Vietnamese Internet Pen Pal/Personal sites. Here are a few questions I have.

Does anyone have first hand experience with any of these sites? Are there any you recommend or would not recommend?

I have noticed some sites have a lot of ladies listed, how many of these ladies are still listed even though they have found a partner?

When I start sending letters should I get them translated into Vietnamese or will most ladies know someone who can translate for them.

Also I would greatly appreciate any other information you think might be relevant.

Thanks in advance

Ben

... in response to Info Req: Vietnamese Pen Pal sites, posted by Benh on Apr 12, 2003

Hi Ben,
I'm one of the few posters here that have gone down the Vietnamese 'route'. I met my wife, Doan, on my first trip to Vietnam. I wasn't really there to look for a wife. (Or maybe, subconsciously I was.) In fact all of the 8 men that I know who have Vietnamese wives have met them while they were there on holiday.
I did look at a few internet sites at one stage between trips to Vietnam. The only one I remember by name was Blue Dragon. I can't really offer you an opinion because I didn't contact them.
It appeared that most of the ladies were tailors working in what we would call sweat-shops.
Many of the women on these sites are studying english.

Regarding whether to write in english or vietnamese, I would recommend writing in english unless you have someone to translate into vietnamese at this end. There are many people who can translate for them in vietnam. If the lady is a university student then her written english is probably already quite good.

A lot of guys are put off by the differences of language and religion in Vietnam. It didn't bother me. I'm not a Christian, and having to study and translate the vietnamese language filled my empty evenings between visits to vietnam.
In fact my vietnamese was a lot better 2 years ago than it is now, because I no longer write e-mails in vietnamese or need to translate the letters I receive.

Western men are highly desirable to many vietnamese women.
Amongst the girls that I know there, they see western men as better husbands. Vietnamese men have tendecy to go drinking with their friends after work, to not take a lot of interest in their families, and to have girlfriends on the side.
The girls see western men as being less likely to behave this way.

Most Vietnamese are Buddhist, though a significant number are Catholic. Particularly in the south.
They practice Buddhism in much the same way that most Christians practice in Australia. That is to say they celebrate the equivalent of Christmas and Easter, and don't bother much for the rest of the year.

It's an unpopular approach on this board....but I would be tempted to just jump on a plane and check Vietnam out. You never know, you just might meet the girl of your dreams.
At worst you will meet lots of nice ladies who will be very happy to correspond with you.

mal

... in response to Vietnamese Pen Pals, posted by madmal on Apr 14, 2003

Hi Mal,

Thanks for your great info.

I think I will try the Vietnam Pen Pal sites and follow it up with a trip there at the end of the year, if I don't find the right person through these sites; I can always try to meet someone while over there.

I too am from Australia and would be interested to know what type of visa did Doan apply for and long did the process take? Any tips for the immigration process?

Thanks again.

Ben

... in response to Re: Vietnamese Pen Pals, posted by Benh on Apr 14, 2003

[This message has been edited by Dave H]

Hi Ben,

Just wanted to say that one of my good mates has been happily married to his Vietnamese sweetheart for just over 30 years. They met while he was serving in the US Airforce during the Vietnam War. They have two outstanding, grown children. In a way, like Mal, while he was not searching for a bride in Vietnam, he found a wonderful wife. The only warning my friend gave me when I was planning to marry my Filipina wife was, "I hope you like rice!" :o))) It really does grow on you and I have since become a BIG Asian food fan!

Good Luck!

Dave H.

... in response to Re: Vietnamese Pen Pals, posted by Benh on Apr 14, 2003

G'day again Ben,

I hope I didn't sound like I was bagging the internet option. My first post was while I was at work. When I got home Doan reminded me of a few of her friends that had met guys over the internet.
It is actually a gôd way to go. I guess I'm just not sure about the motives of some of the operators of the sites.

Doan applied for a spouse visa. We were married in Vietnam on 19th August 2000. We lodged her application on 28th August in Hanoi.
I had prepared the application over the previous 4 months,and only needed the marriage certificate to complete it.
Doan had her interview on 15th March 2001 ( 7 months )and her medical in April. There were a few hassles with the chest x-rays so she had to return to Saigon for more. ( a money making exercise by the OEM who do the medicals.We didn't bribe them the first time around, thinking they were above that behaviour because they did all the medicals for all the various embassies.) We bribed them the second time....no problem.

She was granted her visa in June 2001 (10 months in total)
This is quick for Vietnam. It can take up to a couple of years, but that is usually for Vietnamese Australians bringing Vietnamese spouses in. There are a lot more scams with this scenario so DIMIA check the bona fides a lot more carefully.

I asked our case officer why ours proceðed so quickly. She told me it was because of the quality of the application. They didn't have to chase up any lôse ends. It is human nature that someone will put a file to the side if they have to chase something up.
So do it right the first time.

mal

... in response to Vietnamese Visa, posted by madmal on Apr 14, 2003

Does Australia have fiance visas or just spousal ones? Any advantages or disadvantges of either? Just curious how it compares with the US.

- Jeff

... in response to Hey Mal..., posted by Jeff S on Apr 14, 2003

Hi Jeff
Yes, we have both class of visa. Generally the fiance visa is a quicker option. In our case there was no question that we would marry in Viet Nam. So spouse visa it was !
I was pretty keen on a traditional Vietnamese wedding,and Doan wanted to be married with her family and friends present (it's her day after all).
I think they can reject fiance visas, whereas they can't really reject your spouse visa (if you are a citizen)....they can just make it take a long time.(unless of course you have lied to them)

Mal

... in response to Info Req: Vietnamese Pen Pal sites, posted by Benh on Apr 12, 2003

Not too many people here looking in Viet Nam, though I can certainly see the appeal - the women can be stunning, and the culture fascinating. I'm one of the few guys on this board who think meeting someone with a vastly different language and religion isn't necessarily a major disadvantage.

Anyway, I know little about Viet Nam except the usual history, a few words, and the cuisine - I live just a few minutes from Little Saigon, the biggest Vietnamese community outside Viet Nam, and often visit there to shop and eat.

Hopefully Madmal will answer your post. He an Aussie married to a Vietnamese lady, Doan. They've been married a year or so and just had their first child.

Good luck!

- Jeff

... in response to Hi Ben., posted by Jeff S on Apr 13, 2003

thanks for the correction
                            joemc

... in response to Info Req: Vietnamese Pen Pal sites, posted by Benh on Apr 12, 2003

[This message has been edited by joemc]

Hi Ben,
      There's a Aussie name Madmal. He posts once in awhile
      on the p-l forum. He recently married a Vietnamese name Doan.
     

                                                  joemc

... in response to Info Req: Vietnamese Pen Pal sites, posted by Benh on Apr 12, 2003

Hi Ben,

Sorry, I don't have any experience with your questions.

Dave H.

... in response to Info Req: Vietnamese Pen Pal sites, posted by Benh on Apr 12, 2003

Hi Ben, Just wondering why you are looking to Vietnam instead
of say the Philippines or Thailand?

Personally I dislike Vietnamese food. Also I find their
language nearly impossible to learn or even pronounce.
It sounds like they are talking under water. Thai is hard to
learn as well but at least it is pleasent to hear. ( My opinion only )

With the Philippines you have a language that uses a
lot of Spanish words.  The Filipino food is much more unhealthy
than the Viet or Thai. Thai food tends to be the freshest and
healthiest. Lots of Vegatables and spices. Where filipino
food is deep fried this and week old that.

I would not get involved with someone who spoke little or no
english unless you are very patient.

As for sites try cherry blossom or just do a google search.

Good luck with what ever you choose.
Let us know how it goes.

Dingo

... in response to Re: Info Req: Vietnamese Pen Pal sites, posted by Dingo on Apr 12, 2003

Hi Dingo,

Thanks for your information.

I have met a few Vietnamese ladies in the past through work, and have always got on well with them. I also find Vietnamese very attractive. Because of this I have decided to start looking for a Vietnamese partner. But the right person for me could also be in the Philippines or Thailand.

I like Vietnamese food; hey I also like Thai and Philippine food but food is not too much of an issue as I like cooking and would be looking at learning from my future partner’s cooking methods and teaching her some things too.

I hope to find a partner with at least Basic English, I also intend on learning Vietnamese to help bridge the gap. I know the differences between cultures will be greater than with someone from either the Philippines or Thailand but believe the extra effort will be worth it.

Regards

Benh  

... in response to Re: Re: Info Req: Vietnamese Pen Pal sit..., posted by Benh on Apr 13, 2003

Hi Ben,

My wife is a Filipina. We met a lady one day who I had no doubt was a Filipina. Turns out she was Vietnamese and thought my wife was also. :o)

Dave H.

... in response to You Never Know..., posted by Dave H on Apr 14, 2003

We go to an Indian place and they speak to her in Indian - to a Vietnamese place and they start talking to her in Vietnamese, Chinese..., Greek..., even in Mexico, they speak to her in Spanish. They always do a double take when the tall, blue eyed gabacho answers in Spanish and she just shrugs.

At first she was insulted, but after she thought about it, now she's complimented.

- Jeff

... in response to That happens to my wife all the time..., posted by Jeff S on Apr 14, 2003

Hi Jeff,

ROFLMAOCUML! We haven't had that much experience with other cultures yet. But they do often speak to my wife in Chinese at Chinese places and almost every day in Spanish. It is always the blue-green eyed gringo that answers. My wife does pick up a few words that are either the same in Tagalog or Bisaya. The Mexicans especially want to claim my wife as one of their own. :o)))

Dave H.

... in response to Re: Re: Info Req: Vietnamese Pen Pal sit..., posted by Benh on Apr 13, 2003

Enjoy your trip when the time comes.
Vietnam is now more open to Amercians that should help as well.
The only vietnames I know is Didi mow !... How Sad

... in response to Re: Info Req: Vietnamese Pen Pal sites, posted by Dingo on Apr 12, 2003

Hi Dingo,

I discovered that most of my favorite fruits and vegatables are plentiful, fresh, and grown in the Philippines. They are also very cheap. It seems that many people prefered food and juices that were canned...imported, even better! Much of the food is fried and heavily salted. I think potato chips are probably even considered a vegetable. ;o))) Junk food is packaged with all kinds of claims about its healty qualities. I do love Filipino food! Time to go to the Philippine store for my pandesal, Chippy, and Sarsi. ;o)))

From an American viewpoint, I prefered the Philippines, since it has many years of close relations with the US. The advantage of English widely spoken and a common religion were also factors. Many years ago I was about to be given a free graduation trip to Vietnam by the government, when we began to deescalte the war. My trip was canceled and saw no reason to push my good fortune now. I do prefer the dress in Vietnam over Western fashions.

Dave H.