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Title: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions Post by: Peter Lee on February 05, 2003, 05:00:00 AM Hi guys and gals I am back from my trip from Davoe and Cebu with a couple of questions and a predicament.
So I get to Davao and the girl meets me with her chaperone. We get a taxi to a nice marble floor hotel in the city with a pool. Thirty dollars per day sounded great that included breakfast. Armed guards open the door for you. AT&T promised me that my cell phone would work in the PI but no I have to get another Sims card and it works. I get a room for her and one for me she and her friend are from Bislig 5 to 7 hours drive with a bus. We go buy swim suits for her and her friend and some munchies for watching TV at night. She seems nice pretty Filipina 22 years old and smiles a lot. We e mailed for about 3 months prior and she sounded real good. We visit her friend down town in a village and come back to the hotel. Nobody wants to go to the pool with me so I go alone. It is nice in the pool after hours in a jet plane. I do my laps about 45 min to an hour of lap swimming. I’m thinking why am I in the pool alone? I could have done this at home. I knock on the door and they don’t think it appropriate to have me in their room at night even to watch TV. I go to my room and watch TV on my own; I am thinking that I could be doing this at home without traveling 9000 miles. I knock on the door again to say something is wrong with this picture and to come to my room later to talk about it. Nobody comes so I use my cell phone to call some other girls I emailed for just this situation. I feel that the girls are enjoying thier vacation more than me. It didn't seem like they were looking for a lifetime mate. Next morning I knock on their door nope no body wants to go swimming. So this is a repeat of the day before including my thoughts on how I could be doing this at home and not 9000 miles away. So we go to breakfast and they talk in Bisaya to each other. I am starting to get steamed but don’t show it, and eat a good breakfast. As we go to their room I tell them that something is wrong could we talk about it? Later is the answer there is nothing wrong. Ok I wait in my room and make the decision to go to the airport and fly to Cebu. When I tell em they are surprised but said the famous it is up to you phrase. I give em the fair to go back to Bislig and a gift of expensive perfume each as I promised as a gift. Off I go to catch the morning flight to Cebu. I get off the plane I don’t know anybody and don’t know where to go. But there are free rides to many hotels. I pick one with a pool and is twenty five dollars per day. Now it starts, the girls are texing on the phone from Davao, I am sorry please come back I miss you. So the questions are if I put in for a Fiancé Visa there is no proof of relationship no 6 months e mail history. I am told that if I put in for my fiancé visa without showing an established relationship it will be rejected. If I go back in June and get married there any paper work would have to start all over again. We got a lot of stuff done while I was there proof of meeting, pictures together applied for her passport NBI, NSO, INS pictures, permission from her parents notarized. I need advice I am in love for sure but with a cool head about it. I never dreamed this would happen to me but as you know if you really like someone it hurts to be away from them. What is my next step??? Title: Lolo meets little girl??? Post by: Humabdos on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions, posted by Peter Lee on Feb 5, 2003
Peter Have you lost your mind? Lol! Age doesn't matter? BULL CRAP! Do you like to play with Barbie dolls and watch cartoons???? My first filipina wife 19 me 38 While we had a few good months (6 or 8 out of four years) most of it was pure hell. Other than that great trip report! Hum Title: Sounds fair... Post by: Ray on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Lolo meets little girl???, posted by Humabdos on Feb 7, 2003
6 or 8 good months for a vacuum cleaner? That sounds like a pretty good deal to me... :-) Ray Title: Re: Sounds fair... Post by: Peter Lee on February 08, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Sounds fair..., posted by Ray on Feb 7, 2003
Oh well, You can't say I wasn't warned. I did meet some nice vacuum cleaners in Cebu. Ask em to go to the mall after lunch to see what would happen. Hoover time. This one was different; some of the others were too. Some wouldn’t let me buy em lunch just a coke. When I was stationed in Okinawa years ago in the Army the young guys under me would go down town to the bars and fall in love. "No, no sarge this one's different she really loves me." So Ray no-no this one's different she really loves me. So I know this one's a certified virgin. Would they give it up just to come to the US? What about the gale I met at the Consulate in Cebu. She said her husband is in the US and sees her for 30 days every 6 months. Showed me a picture of their nice house. I'm thinking no, no he is different he really loves her." What a deal, probably got a round eye in the US and gets a 30 day vacation every 6 months. One of the better tests was to totally convince yourself to come to the Philippines to retire and then convince the gale you’re with to see what happens. Da good ones will love it. They get you and their family all in one and those don't need to go states side. So Ray what do you know about prenuptial agreements? I love this site you guys got the experience I don't, I am listening. But Ray she's not like the others she is really different LOL. Title: Yes, they are all different Post by: Ray on February 08, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Sounds fair..., posted by Peter Lee on Feb 8, 2003
Hi Peter, Sorry, the remark about the vacuum cleaner was a private joke. I was just razzing Humabdos because he told us when he went through his divorce all the judge gave her was the vacuum cleaner (LOL). Yeah, Okinawa was an expensive place to fall in love. I used to pull into White Beach a lot when I was in the Navy. Do you remember the snake lady on BC Street outside Kadena? Oh, never mind… :-) About the gal in Cebu who had an American husband that visited her for one month out of six…was her husband by any chance from Oklahoma? Sounds like somebody I know. Don’t worry about the guys trying to talk you out of marrying a teenager. We never change anybody’s mind, but we always try anyway. Most of the guys are just concerned about you getting ripped off. Actually, I wasn’t worried about you but I was more concerned for your fiancée. I think Howard made some good points on the topic. Those young girls are too often caught up in a dream world and don’t have the experience or maturity to really think things through before they take the plunge. I’ve seen so many very young ladies arrive here in the States only to soon find out that their prince charming wasn’t what they thought he was and life here wasn’t a big bowl of cherries. Whatever you do, don’t pretend to be someone you aren’t and don’t try to hide your faults. Do your best to make sure that she knows exactly what she is getting into. Spend a lot of time discussing EVERYTHING and make sure that you two are on the same wavelength. Make sure she fully understands all the implications of your age difference and the likelihood that she will be a widow/single mother sooner or later. You sound serious about this young lady, so I wish you all the best. Just be gentle and understanding because she will be very impressionable at her age and American culture can corrupt her quickly. From my experience, the younger they are when they arrive, the more quickly they become “Americanized”. Pre-nups? Personally, I don’t like them. I think when you marry that you should be willing to share everything you have, both the good and the bad. If you don’t have near complete trust in each other, then you aren’t ready for marriage IMHO. Is your state a community property state? I would talk to a family law attorney and do some research on your own to find out how the law works in your state. Often times, pre-nups aren’t worth a sh!t anyway, especially when they involve a young, foreign spouse who didn’t have her own legal representation. There are ways to protect yourself without a pre-nup. If you don’t have any children or business partners, then you may not need a pre-nup anyway. About your questions regarding fiancée vs spousal visas. There are advantages and disadvantages to both, so no one can say which is better. Instead of trying to figure out which visa will be faster or easier, my advice is to do it “the right way”. Do your homework on all the options and then discuss it thoroughly with your fiancée. Don’t try to convince her to do it your way, but instead try to find out what SHE wants. Not necessarily what she SAYS she wants, but what she REALLY wants. Does she want her dream wedding in her parish church with her family and friends there, or does she want a quiet civil ceremony down at the local courthouse in Florida? Try to make her dreams come true if at all possible. I firmly believe that if your bride is completely happy on her wedding day, then your marriage will definitely have a better chance of success. The wedding day is really HER day more than we sometimes like to think. Most men would rather just get it over with as fast and as cheap as possible. Give it some thought when you are considering the options for which visa to go with. Ray Title: Advice... Post by: Dave H on February 08, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Yes, they are all different, posted by Ray on Feb 8, 2003
Hi Ray, ...who really wants it anyway? Most people just want a pat of the back and the reassurance that they are doing the right thing. Sometimes I just bite my tongue now, because I think it is a waste of time and don't feel like fighting. Many of my posts don't make it out of my word file, because I can't make them "politically correct" or painless. Most people are determined to do what they want to anyway. "Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!!!" I think, "Hey I'm happily married now...who needs the aggravation?" Then I think about the people who helped me here and how I went from a bitter man like many other guys on P-L, to a very happy one. I want everyone to feel this happiness! I remember posts from other people and realize that maybe tiny seeds are planted in people's minds and "sprout" once in a while. Do you recall "Sunwolf?" He got angry and left the board, vowing to prove us all wrong for planning to marry the Japayuki!!! This is from the the last post I read from him several years ago. I wonder how he's doing now? "So anyway, to those of you who said that I should leave the japayuki, and that there were filipinas out there who would treat me far better than her, I say: You were right. Never let it be said that I won't admit when I am wrong. So thanks for the help people." Dave H. Title: Re: Advice... Post by: Peter Lee on February 08, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Advice..., posted by Dave H on Feb 8, 2003
Come on Dave don't hold back and say what you really think I'm a big boy I can take it. I won't kill the mesenger! Title: That's Great! Post by: Dave H on February 08, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Advice..., posted by Peter Lee on Feb 8, 2003
Hey Peter, I don't plan on killing anyone in the near future either. ;o))) I was making a general statement that was not directed at you! I know it probably appeared that way since it was in the thread. I posted at the top of the page what I felt about you being open to advice. Since you can "take it," I'm sure you will find more people willing to express their views. Again, I like your attitude! Dave H. Title: Re: Advice... Post by: Ray on February 08, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Advice..., posted by Dave H on Feb 8, 2003
Yep, I remember Sunwolf. I found out a long time ago that once someone is in love, or thinks he or she is in love, it’s already too late and the advice will probably go in one ear and out the other. So, why even bother? Because just maybe some other reader lurking out there, who hasn’t quite fallen in love yet, may just learn something. Who knows? Anyway, the advice here is priced right. And I hope you’re right about those tiny seeds :-) Ray Title: Makes Sense... Post by: Dave H on February 08, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Advice..., posted by Ray on Feb 8, 2003
Hey Ray, You're right! I gained a lot of knowledge from advice given to others, before I ever met my sweety. Then I had it at my disposal when I needed it. Dave H. Title: Re: Yes, they are all different Post by: Esiang on February 08, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Yes, they are all different, posted by Ray on Feb 8, 2003
Hey Cousin Ray....(joke) That's a good advice....... the younger they are when they arrive, the more quickly they become “Americanized”. It's true ....I've seen some of these.... Oh Prince Charming..... Title: Re: Re: Yes, they are all different Post by: Peter Lee on February 08, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Yes, they are all different, posted by Esiang on Feb 8, 2003
Thanx I gues i have her heartin my hands. That is why i will be as responsible as possible. Her Mom came all the way from Mindanoa on a ferry and 5 hour motercylcle ride to see me. She didn't like the idea at first but after she got to know me she approved of our relationship. Her mom and dad is over 20 year differance so they think it will work out. They had to sighn a notarized letter approving our getting married. But with all this I fell in love twice. Once with her and her family and second with the Philippines. From the taxi drivers to the fish market it was uplifting. I fealt like i was back in the 60's with people singing songs and just being really kind. Oh well Title: That's a Plan for Failure, in my experience Post by: SteveG on February 09, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Yes, they are all different, posted by Peter Lee on Feb 8, 2003
Peter, Trying to keep your wife from changing by isolating her from the world is a high risk way to start a marriage. Let's say you bring her here and do this, ok? All right, you keep her away from the AW who want to "save" her from you and teach her how to spend your money, rebel and be independent like them. I see no problem with that one. They seem to come out of the woodwork. OK, now you go the next step. You screen the filipinas she comes in contact with to steer her away from the bad ones. Not a bad idea either. There are some bad ones who may want to teach her how much she can get away with. SteveG Title: Re: That's a Plan for Failure, in my experience Post by: Peter Lee on February 10, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to That's a Plan for Failure, in my experie..., posted by SteveG on Feb 9, 2003
You took the words out of my mouth!! I am not a control freak so your advice is the only way to go. Otherwise i agree it would be a disaster. I trust her already, she is in her Aunts house doing all the work like Cinderella, the other siblings are a bit lazy. She caould have gotten lazy like the rest and didn't. No red flags there yet. I will sift through the filipinas here to see which one will be the good ones. I am sure she will want some company once and a while and talk Bisaya if it is a good influece. Her Aunt and Mom don't drive but own 2 jeepnees with drivers. It will be a long time till she will want to drive. When the time comes i will teach her how no problem. One of my friends had the same problem with negative infuences with other filipinas. It seems like a repeated story only differant places. I will watch for it. How you gunna keepem down on the farm after they've seen Paris? LOL I sure won't speed things up i will let it come naturally. She won't be as helpful to me if she can't drive later anyway. Your advice well taken! Title: Scary! Post by: Ray on February 08, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Yes, they are all different, posted by Peter Lee on Feb 8, 2003
"my friends with their young Pinays keepem away from the AW thing as much as possible. They don't drive and they help in the businesses" Peter, that sounds like great material for the feminists. The objective should not be to try to keep your young impressionable Filipina wife away from the influences of American society because they are all going to eventually become “Americanized”, some faster and to a greater degree than others. The objective should be to choose a mature woman who can think for her self and who is secure in her moral beliefs. If she spends a lot of time with her “friends” and tends to listen to their “advice”, then you may be in for big trouble. Unfortunately, there are too many others here from their homeland who will try to influence them to do what is wrong. Find a woman with a strong will, a leader and not a follower, one who has a select few friends of strong moral character. Tip: take a real close look at her friends that she spends time with because that will tell you a whole lot about her character. Contrary to popular belief, probably 95% of the Filipinas who come over here will want to work outside the home, so please don’t get your heart all set on a stay-at-home wife. And if you don’t want your wife to drive, keep her in the province and don’t bring her over :-) Just my $.02 Ray Title: Re: Scary! Post by: Peter Lee on February 13, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Scary!, posted by Ray on Feb 8, 2003
You know my Mom never got Americanized she still does a lot of the old ways. My sister too 2nd generation is very different than her married friends. Da Pinays here have not changed too much in the 3 years the have been here. So i will let it happen naturally and hope for the best. I don't like to drive! And no i don't want her to work outside the house. The career women are a dime a dozen here that is why i looked 9000 miles for a date. She can be mature and stay at home. Oh well you may be right but i will try to keep the filipina old way if i can. Title: Re: Scary! Post by: Esiang on February 08, 2003, 05:00:00 AM Title: Re: Re: Re: Yes, they are all different Post by: Esiang on February 08, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Yes, they are all different, posted by Peter Lee on Feb 8, 2003
My parents also have a big age difference.... too bad they didn't last so long as my father's time were running out. We're just lucky to have a tiger Mother ....he..he....(joke) Where in Mindanao is she from?? just curious..... Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: Yes, they are all different Post by: Peter Lee on February 08, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: Yes, they are all different, posted by Esiang on Feb 8, 2003
Kibawi dead center of Mindanao 2 hectors of land growing bananas, mangoes,corn, papaya and guava. Mom had 4 siblings all girls. She is the second her older siste is married the other two are still in school. Her mom to get to Cebu had to get on two ferries [over night trip] jeepnee and 5 hour motorcycle ride to the farm. They said it would be safe for me to go next time and i would like to go. I know about those tiger mothers i got one German one oowch. Title: Prenuptial Agreement??? Post by: greg on February 08, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Sounds fair..., posted by Peter Lee on Feb 8, 2003
If Your 19 yr old baby isn't like all other Filipinas, then why on earth would you consider a Prenuptial Agreement??? Your 59 in good health, She's a 19 yr old. What are the Pros and Cons of marriage to such a wet behind the ear kid??? Well, you would be getting your wish of a Trophy wife. Your Cons would be tons of headaches, later your not going to be looking at her youngful beauty, but at the pain that your going thur. In fact at her young age it won't take long for her to learn the AW trade and herself become a dread AW. It's diffult finding a good Pinay as it is, soo why make things difficult on yourself by wanting a child young enough to be your daughter?? You maybe healthy now, you don't know how your health going to be a few years down the road. No guarantee that shes going to stay with you after getting her green card, she may even leave sooner. It's a huge risk bringing a Foreigner over here, so you better take your time. Oh well, your mind is set anyway, and my advice to you is useless. Title: Re: Prenuptial Agreement??? Post by: Peter Lee on February 08, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Prenuptial Agreement???, posted by greg on Feb 8, 2003
I would consider a prenap coz I am practical. Remember even students of mine who married here with similar age are now divorced. There is no guarantee so even the perception that they get nothing when they leave can be a deterrent. We already joked about her giving me headaches that is to be expected. But with your philosophy why would any one have kids? They are going to be tons of headaches too but we have em any way. The AW thing, you got a good point, but I have examples of Filipinas married to guys here in town and after 3 and the other 4 years looks good, not much AW. Ya it was difficult to find a good Pinay. The older ones are set in their ways they are smart with lots of experience from past failures with e mail and phone calls. They have tons of information from friends who dated and communicated with Americans. Young enough to be my daughter? Ya or old enough not to want to do anything but go to the Mall. I am just tired of gals who are older who don’t want to do stuff. I was paralyzed for 2 years from an Army parachuting accident. I lost a fiace then I feel I got a better chance than then now for this one to stay. If she leaves Oh well better to have love and lost than never to have loved at all LOL. Taking my time? I think the INS got that covered you think? Is my mind set yes it is. But don’t forget I will see her again in July we will e mail INS will take some time. I can pull out even when she comes here for her 90 days. So my mind is made up to go the next step. If nothing happens along the way to change my mind then it is a go. Your advice is not useless, I didn’t hear this advice from my friends or parents. They just wished me luck so thanks I needed to be told. Title: Hi Peter Post by: greg on February 09, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Prenuptial Agreement???, posted by Peter Lee on Feb 8, 2003
Good Points. At your age and her age, the public is going to give you a difficult time. I'm healthy, a body builder, look much younger than my 48 yrs, but when I was with my ex AW Pinay from Guam living in California, people gave our relationship a hard time, she was only 16 age difference at age 28 at time of our relationship. Soo think about your own age and the age of your girl, your family, friends and public is never going to accept it. They are going to feel that your taking advantage of a girl from a poor country and that she only agreed to be with you for America. I know that maybe you do not care what they think, but huge age difference especially her young age is going to be a problem. People may even lose respect for you. I really feel that a huge age difference would work if you both stayed in RP, but not in America. I know many past and present PL Posters that tried it with these much younger Pinays ending in divorces at short marriage time or had to deport his much younger Mahal. She's going to recieve pressure at school from other students and teachers if they find out she's involved with a much older Man. There are just tooo many negatives involved with being with a girl young enough to be our daughter. I'm a single Parent of a 29 month old Pinoy boy, so I love caring for my baby. I just wouldn't want a wife with the mind set of a child for a wife. With her, your going to have to teach teach teach, your going to need looooots of Patience, just like taking care of a child. Later she may think of you as a Father instead of a Husband, becuz your going to have to say baby baby pls do this pls do that...It's going to get on her nerves, make her angry, cause plms. About her doing things for you AWs won't do for you at this present time...Well, she may start off doing a few things AWs wouldn't do for you, but later AWs going to feed her mind..Ask her why are you doing this for him??? Blab Blab...You said older Pinays are set in their ways?? I agree with you on that...I am not talking about getting a much older Pinay, I am talking about getting one in a good age range..This is only my own opinion, anyway my Son's Mommie is 32..myself 48..I think a lady in the 30's would be a more safer bet than a 19 yr old wet behind the ear child. Ask yourself what can she do for you?? Most of it would be you doing this and that for her..You wouldn't be able to depend on her to help you take care of anything, becuz she may be more foused on Herself, her own needs. Good Luck with whatever you decide. Yes, the 90 day window sounds excellent..but you can be tempted into marrying her even thur red flags are flying everywhere based on your Love for her, Love will blind a lonely man. I know of a Good intelligent PL veteran that lost his home, mother, etc..becuz he got involved with a young Pinay whom he thought was the "one". I notice that you are showering her family and herself with gifts, etc..thats a huge mistake...Becuz her family is going to later expect that from you all the time. Title: Re: Lolo meets little girl??? Post by: Peter Lee on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Lolo meets little girl???, posted by Humabdos on Feb 7, 2003
Well I will tell you frankly yes I have lost my mind! I am crazy about that girl LOL. And age does matter, can you imagine an American gal roughing it on a sail boat in her late 30’s or 40’s. She has to be real special if she can get time off her job that is more important than you. I have ladies here who won’t go on my sail boat coz it is to hard and the water for the shower is not hot enough on the boat. Wash clothes by hand on a boat are you kidding not me they say. Every time I go to the Bahamas I get these complaints about it is too rough to stay on the boat for more than a weekend. Excuse me! They would freak out if they had to pump water 4 times a day and wash clothes by hand. My small sail boat has more luxury than the house I visited in the PI for the 3 weeks I was there. I had no running water, no water flushing toilet no toilet seat, no running water in the kitchen or shower. My small boats stove are better and my bed has foam yes, foam to lay on at night. And I think I am roughing it. Most mature minds won’t be adventurous and most over 35 don’t have the energy to do stuff. I have gone though hell in the other direction. This little girl is 5’6” and runs the family washes clothes cooks the rice and makes the dried fish. She goes to school in the morning and the chores in the afternoon. Barbie dolls and watch cartoons???? What kinda 19 year old did you marry guy? While we have heart attacks they have song attacks, I love it. At 10 years old maturity they are not cunning and scheming yet. I was in the VA hospital last year in Gainesville and there was some old guy in his 80’s getting pushed around in his wheel chair by his 44 year old wife loyal to the end. I have to make up my mind as we establish this relationship if I want to take the chance of happiness against the chance of getting in for a lot of misery. Then there is always the lottery hehehe. I don’t wana be the “it won’t happen to me” guy. But I was a paratrooper and I jumped it was great till I hit the ground. You went though hell you say but no details so I got to take your word for it. So Humados I have to say I value your input like the others. I feel like part of the family with people who care. Thanx but I have been through hell without getting married already there is no guarantee so I am going to go for it. Anyway the way the INS is working she will be in her 20’s by the time we get to the interview. I would like to know more details of your hell and misery story so I can learn from others. Title: ok sailor Boy! Post by: Humabdos on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Lolo meets little girl???, posted by Peter Lee on Feb 7, 2003
Just one question does she get sea sick? LOL Some people might have gotten offend by my post. I love your attitude dude! Is there room for Sallie and I on that boat? I like to sail in the nude so no need for washing clothes! he he he Happy sailing! Hum & Sallie Title: Re: Lolo meets little girl??? Post by: Peter Lee on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Lolo meets little girl???, posted by Humabdos on Feb 7, 2003
Well I will tell you frankly yes I have lost my mind! I am crazy about that girl LOL. And age does matter, can you imagine an American gal roughing it on a sail boat in her late 30’s or 40’s. She has to be real special if she can get time off her job that is more important than you. I have ladies here who won’t go on my sail boat coz it is to hard and the water for the shower is not hot enough on the boat. Wash clothes by hand on a boat are you kidding not me they say. Every time I go to the Bahamas I get these complaints about it is too rough to stay on the boat for more than a weekend. Excuse me! They would freak out if they had to pump water 4 times a day and wash clothes by hand. My small sail boat has more luxury than the house I visited in the PI for the 3 weeks I was there. I had no running water, no water flushing toilet no toilet seat, no running water in the kitchen or shower. My small boats stove are better and my bed has foam yes, foam to lay on at night. And I think I am roughing it. Most mature minds won’t be adventurous and most over 35 don’t have the energy to do stuff. I have gone though hell in the other direction. This little girl is 5’6” and runs the family washes clothes cooks the rice and makes the dried fish. She goes to school in the morning and the chores in the afternoon. Barbie dolls and watch cartoons???? What kinda 19 year old did you marry guy? While we have heart attacks they have song attacks, I love it. At 10 years old maturity they are not cunning and scheming yet. I was in the VA hospital last year in Gainesville and there was some old guy in his 80’s getting pushed around in his wheel chair by his 44 year old wife loyal to the end. I have to make up my mind as we establish this relationship if I want to take the chance of happiness against the chance of getting in for a lot of misery. Then there is always the lottery hehehe. I don’t wana be the “it won’t happen to me” guy. But I was a paratrooper and I jumped it was great till I hit the ground. You went though hell you say but no details so I got to take your word for it. So Humados I have to say I value your input like the others. I feel like part of the family with people who care. Thanx but I have been through hell without getting married already there is no guarantee so I am going to go for it. Anyway the way the INS is working she will be in her 20’s by the time we get to the interview. I would like to know more details of your hell and misery story so I can learn from others. Title: Don't hold back, Hum. Post by: Jeff S on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Lolo meets little girl???, posted by Humabdos on Feb 7, 2003
Tell us what you really think. - Jeff Title: Re: Don't hold back, Hum. Post by: Peter Lee on February 13, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Don't hold back, Hum., posted by Jeff S on Feb 7, 2003
Ya lets not hold back! LOL Round 2 Ding ! Title: Are you sure about that Jeff? lol n/t Post by: Humabdos on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM Title: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions Post by: Frank2002 on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions, posted by Peter Lee on Feb 5, 2003
[This message has been edited by Frank2002] Hello Peter I will be in Cebu in a few weeks hopefully. If you want or need some help email me at HT1281@hotmail.com I don't feel you need a lawyer for marriage. I just think you should slow down abit though Peter. In about 6 months or so once you know her a bit better and you have one more time spent together and if this lady turns out to be a keeper here is some help with your paper work. Marrying in the Philippines When you want to marry in the Philippines the groom needs the following papers: * Birth certificate The first two documents have to be translated into English and be certified.The first two documents you will get from the registration office of your birth town and your current home address. The third one is available in the marriage office. With this document you have to go to the USA Embassy in Manila, they will issue the English document: "Certificate of Legal Capacity to Contract Marriage". This procedure will cost you the equivalent of U$10 in Pesos and is valid for 6 months. In addition you will need two copies of your passport. In case that you plan to marry in the church, you need in addition: * Baptism certificate All these documents are available form your local church with the exception of the single certificate. In case your are protestant and your bride is catholic, you will need the "Dissmissoria", a paper which allows you to marry in the catholic church. Again you will get this in your church, but usually the Bishop is involved too and has to give his OK. In case you are catholic and your wife is protestant (unlikely, but possible), you will have to confirm with the priest that your kids will be raised as Roman Catholic. A plain letter is sufficient, but it should be titled in large letter with the string: "Free for marriage". Not all priests in the Philippines will ask for that, so you should better check with him before you go to the Philippines. All these papers should not be older than three months to stay valid. The bride needs: * Birth certificate (certified) The procedure: You need the "Marriage License". This you will get either from the major or the priest. In case of a wedding in the church you need to participate in a two day wedding seminar where the priest teaches you how to produce many little mixed Filipinos and Filipinas :-). Furthermore the announcement of your wedding will be published 4 weeks before the intended wedding date, so take your time. If you only marry in the city hall you have to be registered 10 days before the ceremony. As the process to do that takes 2 days, this means you should be in the Philippines at least 12 days before the ceremony. Even more, as they do not work ton the weekends but the wedding typically takes place on the weekend, you have to calculate that as well. For the wedding ceremony itself study the the respective chapter in the book "Culture Shock Philippines", this describes the details quite accurate. Some more information: In case that you do not want to marry in the local church where the bride is living (registered), you can check with any other church of your liking. Still the announcement of your wedding has to be published in the original church as well, and you will get the "Marriage Bands" in both churches. But again, this procedure has to be approved by the Bishop. In case this results in a problem, just move the residence of your bride to the new church. Philippine weddings, especially when done in the church, are a big festival. To help there are some companies and organizations which offer some services like making a video and taking pictures. After the wedding: With the marriage certificate you will have to go to the city hall for a certification. A further certification is required from the marriage registrar of the NSO in Manila. These again have to be legalized by the Ombudsman (Malacanang Office) and the DFA (Red Ribbon!). These certificates have to be legalized by the USA Embassy in Manila (will cost around U$25). "keeper" during your many experiences with "ladies of the night" or you meet a local salesgirl at a shopping mall etc here's what you need to get her back to the States. Marrying in the Philippines When you want to marry in the Philippines the groom needs the following papers: * Birth certificate The first two documents have to be translated into English and be certified.The first two documents you will get from the registration office of your birth town and your current home address. The third one is available in the marriage office. With this document you have to go to the USA Embassy in Manila, they will issue the English document: "Certificate of Legal Capacity to Contract Marriage". This procedure will cost you the equivalent of U$10 in Pesos and is valid for 6 months. In addition you will need two copies of your passport. In case that you plan to marry in the church, you need in addition: * Baptism certificate All these documents are available form your local church with the exception of the single certificate. In case your are protestant and your bride is catholic, you will need the "Dissmissoria", a paper which allows you to marry in the catholic church. Again you will get this in your church, but usually the Bishop is involved too and has to give his OK. In case you are catholic and your wife is protestant (unlikely, but possible), you will have to confirm with the priest that your kids will be raised as Roman Catholic. A plain letter is sufficient, but it should be titled in large letter with the string: "Free for marriage". Not all priests in the Philippines will ask for that, so you should better check with him before you go to the Philippines. All these papers should not be older than three months to stay valid. The bride needs: * Birth certificate (certified) The procedure: You need the "Marriage License". This you will get either from the major or the priest. In case of a wedding in the church you need to participate in a two day wedding seminar where the priest teaches you how to produce many little mixed Filipinos and Filipinas :-). Furthermore the announcement of your wedding will be published 4 weeks before the intended wedding date, so take your time. If you only marry in the city hall you have to be registered 10 days before the ceremony. As the process to do that takes 2 days, this means you should be in the Philippines at least 12 days before the ceremony. Even more, as they do not work ton the weekends but the wedding typically takes place on the weekend, you have to calculate that as well. For the wedding ceremony itself study the the respective chapter in the book "Culture Shock Philippines", this describes the details quite accurate. Some more information: In case that you do not want to marry in the local church where the bride is living (registered), you can check with any other church of your liking. Still the announcement of your wedding has to be published in the original church as well, and you will get the "Marriage Bands" in both churches. But again, this procedure has to be approved by the Bishop. In case this results in a problem, just move the residence of your bride to the new church. Philippine weddings, especially when done in the church, are a big festival. To help there are some companies and organizations which offer some services like making a video and taking pictures. After the wedding: With the marriage certificate you will have to go to the city hall for a certification. A further certification is required from the marriage registrar of the NSO in Manila. These again have to be legalized by the Ombudsman (Malacanang Office) and the DFA (Red Ribbon!). These certificates have to be legalized by the USA Embassy in Manila (will cost around U$25). Hope this helps Peter Title: Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions Post by: Peter Lee on February 13, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questio..., posted by Frank2002 on Feb 6, 2003
thanx Frank i will check it out Title: Huh? Post by: Ray on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questio..., posted by Frank2002 on Feb 6, 2003
Hi Frank, I don't know where you got that information, but I would say that about 80% of it is dead wrong. Ray Title: Re: Huh? Post by: Peter Lee on February 13, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Huh?, posted by Ray on Feb 6, 2003
Hi Ray could you please send me any corrections as it looks as though I may go back in a few months and marry her in her home. Title: Re: Re: Huh? Post by: Ray on February 14, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Huh?, posted by Peter Lee on Feb 13, 2003
Peter, Are you planning to have a simple civil wedding or a church wedding? Ray Title: Re: Re: Re: Huh? Post by: Peter Lee on February 16, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Huh?, posted by Ray on Feb 14, 2003
I would like to see her in a white dress with family and friends. She is going to see her cosine in March get married in a church. Her sister was married 3 years ago in a church and she says it cost 250,000 pesos in Mindanao Lanao. I hope it was exaggerated. You got any idea what I should be paying for a modest white dress wedding in Cebu or her home town Lanao in Mindanao. When I ask her, it is the old “as long as I am with you” and “it is up to you”. You got any ideas on this? You know I am pretty new here and I could use the help. So far getting married in July in PI and putting in for the K3 visa in Sep after the honeymoon sounds like the best I can agree with from you guys. That way the interview when the time comes they might ask the question, “When did you meet your husband? Was it the first time when you got married?” She can show I was there courting her in Jan 03 for 20 days emailed called and chatted for 7 months and came back to marry her in front of family and friends. It will be as legit as it gets except for the age factor 40years apart. Meanwhile I will have some more time to see how the relationship develops. So far so good! But you know, if it looks to good to be true. I am looking for red flags but 19 years old according to you guys is a red flag LOL. Can’t see the forest for the trees scenario. I am still willing to gamble on this one coz the rewards are worth it for me if it works out. Title: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions Post by: Howard on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions, posted by Peter Lee on Feb 5, 2003
Pete, Nice Story :) After just coming back from Davao myself, I am well aware of the emotions you must be going through. The people are very, VERY accomodating and every one has an interest in the visitor from a strange and distant land :) The attention is addictive, even for someone like me who is quite used to the spotlight and attention. (I am a Professional Musician :) Personally, were I not there to meet someone I had gotten to know well for a year prior, I could have fallen in love several times and found myself in the same situation as you. I feel compelled, as most others have, to let you know that you are in a very high risk group with your particular situation. We have heard stories similar to yours before, you are not the first and probably won't be the last. Sometimes these things work and sometimes they don't. The speed at which you are moving is not nearly the concern to me as the age difference. I know the intoxication of being a normal joe and having attractive young women seriously interested in me. I have been there and it was a very pleasent distraction. Anyone who says that they weren't flattered by the attention is either a much more down to Earth guy than I am, or a liar :P I know more than one Filipina in her early 20's who married guys near twice their age who claim to be quite happy. I believe them and they also happen to be excellent wives to their deliriously happy husbands, so I'm not gonna say it doesn't work because that would be untrue. What bothers me is the fact that you don't know her. Everything is new and wonderful right now. For you it may always be that way. For her, the reality of the situation may drasticly change her attitude after the dust settles. Now she is swept up in the Pocket Book Romance of your courtship. It may well last through the entire K-1 process and into the marriage. Don't think that Filipinas aren't competitive when it comes to a foreign suitor. They are and it's a huge feather in her cap that you chose her. This is her designer wardrobe, her fancy sports car, her indestructable SUV... YOU are what she her parents brag about to her friends parents. This is the way it often is with a dreamy young girl. I have seen it and speak from expirience. The competition for your affection is fierce over there. Something you may not be used to. Something I definitely wasn't prepared for when I began. Use your "cool head" and think it through. Use your "cool head" and think about her. Think about how she will fit into your life, because that's what it will be. She leaves everything she knows behind and becomes part of your life. Your friends will be the friends she has at first. How will she fit in with them? What will she do while you're at work? How will she handle the time she has to spend without you? It's inevitable, she will have to spend time apart from you. This will be new for her, she's from a completely different family enviroment. There are ALWAYS loved ones around. Now she has only you. Is she mature enough to handle that? You get the idea, I could ask similar questions all day. I am NOT trying to rain on your parade! I would just advise that you take the time necessary to get to know her. I mean really get to know her. If everything works out, GREAT!!! But, if you find things change with time, you might avoid a world or heartache for BOTH of you. Unlike other realtionships you may have had, you are in complete control of this one. Make wise decisions for BOTH of you :) Keep the Faith! H Title: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions Post by: Esiang on February 05, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions, posted by Peter Lee on Feb 5, 2003
Congratulations...... for being in love...... but are you sure she's in love with you?.... I agree with all these guys here...... just take your time to really get to know her more deeply and in that way you'll have more proofs to show of your relationship whether your going to apply for fiance or espousal visa. Title: Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions Post by: Peter Lee on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questio..., posted by Esiang on Feb 5, 2003
Take my time take my time ok the reason i seem in a hurry coz the darn process takes so long to begin with. If i process the paper work now i will have 6 or most likely more months of getting to know her. And from adice from this board have another visit for 4 weeks or so. Meanwhile each day goes by something is happening. I don't mind getting to know her more if i know that the time spent is also time closer to getting her fiance visa. What say you? Title: Re: Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions Post by: donb2222 on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with que..., posted by Peter Lee on Feb 6, 2003
Hi Peter, You said "I don't mind getting to know her more if i know that the time spent is also time closer to getting her fiance visa" Um, how about getting to know her more as a person, just to make sure that you two are compatible. You have waited 59 years, why the big rush now? It would really help for you to spend more time in the Phils. The more you understand about her country and culture, the better you will understand her. Don Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions Post by: Peter Lee on February 13, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with..., posted by donb2222 on Feb 6, 2003
You are very right, i plan to visit again in July and hold hands in the mall for 21 days LOL Title: Time! Post by: Dave H on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with..., posted by donb2222 on Feb 6, 2003
Hey Don, I couldn't agree with you more! Most of us here marry an almost complete stranger as far as time spent together. Next the women come to a strange foreign land, with an unfamilar culture. Then we spend a year or so of married life trying to get to know each other. Something most American and Western couples have done prior to marriage. Some of us get lucky and some don't. Extra time spent together and communicating can make all the difference in the world! It cuts down on the need for luck in determining if it is a good match. I used to be...itch about the long immigration times and Ray would remind me that it was for my own good...and now I know he was right! Dave H. Title: Re: Time! Post by: Peter Lee on February 22, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Time!, posted by Dave H on Feb 6, 2003
So now that i have decided to marry in the PI if i come back in late Aug and process the paperwork in Sep, what is a good projection time considering how slow things are going for the K3 visa? I will feel very confident that when she goes to interview she will be over 20. She can honestly say that we meet in Jan courted and married in July of 03, a total of 7 months. We are chatting and e mailing and an occasional phone call [i use 101 5335 and they bill me at Souther Bell. It is going better than i thought. I have fedex her a atm card, the card has a separate savings account that i could put any ammount in. It cost over $35 bucks to send it. It will get there in less than 4 days. I will have her withdraw $10 bucks to see if it works. If that works ok i will put my whole life savings on the card and trust her to do the right thing. Joke joke just kidding!! But as one of you suggested tell her she can draw from it what she needs. If she is a true filipina who is bent on marrying me i got a good feeling that she will take out just what she needs and no more. Any way in order not to be charged that $5 monthly i have to keep $300 in the account. Lets see what happens. Thinking with the Big head in Daytona. Thanks guys for the help Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions Post by: Peter Lee on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with..., posted by donb2222 on Feb 6, 2003
Thanks Don, I plan on going again in June or July but it will kill me to just hold hands and have a chaperon follow us to the movies. I will have to buy another bike to ride to transfer that nerveous energy into seeing the rest of Cebu. Hehehehe Title: Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions Post by: Peter Lee on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questio..., posted by Esiang on Feb 5, 2003
So i have made up my mind to do it. The system is set up so it takes a long time to do anything anyway. It seems that i am in a hurry but to get the job done you have to do a lot of paper work and running around. Is she in love with me? I am the first guy she has had a romance with so i would say i am in control right now and it is worth the risk to go on. Ya more proofs to show our relationships but if i wait on the paper work it will be that much longer. So what about some advice on which is better in my case fiance visa or espousal visa. Title: Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions Post by: Peter Lee on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questio..., posted by Esiang on Feb 5, 2003
while i am taking my time i thought i could kill two birds with one stone. The way the fiance visa looks frozen i hear in Texas it will take a long time anyway. Don't forget it is only for a fiance visa and i can ignore it or do it when the time comes. But at least if i start now 8 or more months from now i will have a choice. Title: Re: Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions Post by: Esiang on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with que..., posted by Peter Lee on Feb 6, 2003
Now I can see more of her story not just the cousin..... It seems to me that she's a nice extremely beautiful lady... Congrats!!! Hope fiancee visa nowadays dont get so long but it shouldn't be more than a year. Additional I dont think Immigration Attorney is pretty needed for the processing as long as your papers and everything is complete and that you followed every inch of instructions of these INS people. I've learned from some experience of other people, it's either it can get worse,dont follow all of their rules, some dont really know what's the latest regulations of Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions Post by: Peter Lee on February 13, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with..., posted by Esiang on Feb 6, 2003
You know I went to INS website and got lost in the mumbo jumbo. I would feel more comfortable knowing that if something goes wrong someone will know what to do quickly. I hear that attorneys get a little more attention with the INS coz they can give em headaches. I don't have access to Politicians like some of the Attorneys do. Any way that is the perception I get from those that go with professional help and those that don't. Just to find the new fees INS uses was confusing enough. I have not decided yet but I will decide soon to do it myself of get professional help. I have all my papers in order but I will need help in proving I earn enough money to qualify coz I am self employed. I am a naturalized citizen no birth certificate I wouldn't know where to get my naturalization papers certified, probably with the INS LOL? I had a name change in 1980 and that was certified but it gets more and more complicated. Pictures to the INS changes like music notes 4 pic then 2 pic than passport pic then INS pic. Give us a break! No one knows if you can get the Medical in Cebu now? Is Texas still frozen and holding up immigration papers? I just learned that it would be wise to show up at the interview in Manila. Well that's another plane ticket and time off work. What about no e mail before our meeting in Jan 03. Will INS look at it like when we applied for the papers that we should have known each other well enough then to get married and anything after that does not count. I don't know how INS thinks and what they are looking for at the interview. My concept of meeting someone first and emailing later is more credible than e mailing first and then meeting. But what I read is that the INS may be looking for how much we knew each other before we met. If that is so I should wait and visit once more. That would mean 2 more trips to the PI. Oh well the price you pay for misinformation. What a shame all those calling cards and no proof of calling. What a shame all those hours of chatting and no proof of communication. But you are right again; two separate professionals had different stories. And the other problem is when you give these agencies money up front what is their incentive to give you that extra help you need when you have a time consuming problem? Title: Peter Post by: Ray on February 13, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu ..., posted by Peter Lee on Feb 13, 2003
She will have to go to Manila for her medical exam. For proof of citizenship on your petition, a photocopy of the naturalization certificate or your passport is fine. Don't worry about evidence that you knew each other before you met. There is no such requirement! What they are looking for is evidence that you have a genuine relationship and are not just marrying her for the sole purpose of getting her into the country. Ray Title: Re: Peter Post by: Peter Lee on February 16, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Peter, posted by Ray on Feb 13, 2003
I was advised by an agency that if I don't show prior contact before we met or before the petition is filed it may kick off a profile that gets their attention. Especially if there is a 40 year gap in age. She will be 20 in June and I am 59. If i get a hard core interviewer they could put it into "investigation" and i hear that is a nighmare. So i was advised by them that if i go for the fiance visa to wait at least 2 more months then put in the paper work. The date it is filed is the date we are suppose to know that we are going to spend the rest of our lives together, I was told. So the longer i can hold off filing the papers the longer our relationship will look on paper that we met. Dat was what was advised to me. I kinda agree coz it don't hurt to wait a while and see how the relationship developes. You all advised me to not be in such a hurry anyway. So i see it as chicken soap, "It can't hurt". If i marry her there all this will be moot. I kinda worry about the age thing coz some of the interviewers may really dislike it and look for reasons to put it into investigation. Once the cats out of the bag, you know. I was worried about the photcopy of the naturalization papers so thanks for clearing that up for me. I didn't know i could use my passport in place of my naturization papers. Thanx Ray Title: Re: Re: Peter Post by: Ray on February 16, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Peter, posted by Peter Lee on Feb 16, 2003
There really is no absolute evidence requirement other than the fact that you met in person. But I will agree that the relationship documentation all helps and it certainly wouldn't hurt to hold off a little while either. You never know how the interviews will go, but the most important thing is that she look and sound genuine at the interview. We have one member here with a much bigger age gap than yours, they never met in person, and she breezed through the interview with only 2 questions if I recall correctly. Then there was another girl they tore up in the interview. They asked about her sex life and how many times she had sex with her husband, etc. Sometimes the interviewers will try to rattle her but usually they are very polite and professional. But like customs inspectors, you NEVER want to try to bull-sh#t them :-) Ray
Title: Re: Re: Re: Peter Post by: Peter Lee on February 16, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Peter, posted by Ray on Feb 16, 2003
Asked about her sex life and how many times she had sex with her husband? See, I want to be ready for the worst case scenario. When asked she should honestly say 10 times a day LOL. I was told these inspectors are on a rotating job shift. Sometimes the bad ones are replaced by a good one. Sometimes the rubberstamp one is replaced by one who is just plain prejudice to large age differences. But I got your point about being genuine at the interview. So how many times should I have sex with the wife a day to sound genuine LOL? Is that with or with out the use of Viagra? They will ask. What if you bull-sh##em and tell them without LOL. That is grounds for an investigation for sure!!!! Sorry, it is really hard to stay serious with this and I know it is important information my apologies. But my point is you can't just go by the book. That is why I am on this forum, for people who did that done that. So again Ray thanks again Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions Post by: Peter Lee on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with..., posted by Esiang on Feb 6, 2003
Thanks for some positive feedback. I also prize the negative stuff too but it is nice to know someone understands. You think it will be one year for the fiance visa? What if i married there is the paper work easier? I am getting mixed messages which way to go coz whatever i do now is what i have to stick with time wise i mean. I talked to guys at the Consolate in Cebu who said they were tired of waiting for the fiace visa and just got married. Well their paper work must start all over again right. And i am hearing 9 months 1 year and now 2 years for a espousal visa. What's the real story? Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions Post by: Esiang on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu ..., posted by Peter Lee on Feb 6, 2003
To better understand more of visa's rules and info. go to http://usembassy.state.gov/manila Fiancee visa is the quickest way to get your lady some 8 months some 6 months, my Best friend processing takes her only 4 months. But it shouldn't be one year, mostly actually takes 6 months. That situation of getting married in the Phils. after they already applied for fiancee visa dont sound so good. I hope you'll have answers to your questions when you try to look and read about the usembassy website. Title: Direct Consulate Filing Post by: wizard on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu ..., posted by Peter Lee on Feb 6, 2003
Hey Peter... Lots of guys are faced with extended waits for K-1 Visas to be processed, that's the Fiance Visa... This traditionally has been the fastest way to get your girl here... That was until the great freeze of 2002-3... You could marry your girl in her home country and then file for a K-3 Spousal Visa here in the USA... This process usually takes much longer to process than the K-1... Once you are married, you file for the K-3 visa here in the USA... Once the regional INS processes your request here in the USA, it is forwarded to the US Consulate where your girl lives... Then the interviews are scheduled... Lot's of good old tax payer bureaucracy... That was until Direct Consulate Filing (DCF) for K-3's became available... This is where you file your K-3 directly with the US Consulate in your girl's country... You go with your new wife to the embassy and file the K-3 in person... Then, usually within 30 - 60 days, you wife will have another interview with the consulate, at which time shre will provide all the documents you/she needs to complete the visa application... If all goes well, she can have her visa in 1 - 2 days after the second interview... Here are some helpful links to bone up on the process... Definitive website on the DCF Visa process: Visa Kits are available from: INS website for all forms/fees for the process: US Embassy Website in Manila webpage for K-1 & K-3 processing is: I hope these help... Like the lyrics of one of my favorite songs goes, "everyone deserves to be happy every now and then"... I wish you luck in this pursuit... wizard Title: Re: Direct Consulate Filing Post by: Peter Lee on February 17, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Direct Consulate Filing, posted by wizard on Feb 7, 2003
Say Wizard does this apply for the Philippines???? Title: Re: Direct Consulate Filing Post by: Peter Lee on February 13, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Direct Consulate Filing, posted by wizard on Feb 7, 2003
After all that i find it doesn't apply to the Philippines ! OH WELL ! It don't sound like luck will do it for me this time. Title: Some corrections Post by: Ray on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Direct Consulate Filing, posted by wizard on Feb 7, 2003
You can only use direct consular filing for IR-1 visa petitions (I-130) in Manila IF you are a resident of the Philippines, essentially meaning that you have lived there for at least 6 months. Direct consular filing is not for K-3 visas, which are filed with INS in Chicago (not the regional service centers). The K-3 petition is not always forwarded to the consulate where your girl lives, but it is supposed to be forwarded to the country where you were married, unless you were married in the U.S. For example if you marry a Filipina in Hong Kong, the K-3 visa must be issued in Hong Kong, even if she has returned permanently to the Philippines since you married. Actually, K-3 visas should probably take roughly the same time as a K-1 to process (or less), depending on where you live. For a while last year, before new security procedures, the K-3 paperwork was going through INS in less than a month. Ray Title: Re: Some corrections Post by: wizard on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Some corrections, posted by Ray on Feb 7, 2003
Thanks for the update... I'm trying to go through the process myself, but in Bogota... Maybe there ere some differences between Bogota and Manila... In all the paperwork that I am gathering for the consulate in Bogota, a "K-3 form" was never mentioned... I assumed that since I was doing a DCF for a spousal visa, I would be filing a K-3... Title: Re: Re: Some corrections Post by: Ray on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Some corrections, posted by wizard on Feb 7, 2003
Some consulates allow direct filing for non-residents and some don’t. If they allow it in Bogota, then it will probably save you a lot of waiting time. The Manila consulate is one of the busiest in the world and it’s a mess. With a standard IR-1 spousal visa in the Philippines, you have to wait for the INS service center, then wait another 3-4 months because they send everything to the NVC (National Visa Center) for preliminary State Dept processing. The whole thing took me under 10 months but that was before 9/11. The whole purpose of the K-3 is to bypass some of the backlog at the INS service centers and get you and your spouse reunited in the States while you are waiting for the I-130 processing to be completed. They won't issue a K-3 unless one spouse is living in the US and the other is overseas. Unfortunately, we are at war now and the number one priority is security, not reuniting families. The sooner we kill off the whacko Muslim terrorists, the sooner things can get back to normal. But I’m afraid that isn’t going to happen any time soon :-( Death to terrorists! Ray Title: Re: Re: Re: Some corrections Post by: wizard on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Some corrections, posted by Ray on Feb 7, 2003
I'm a US citizen and my novia is Colombiana... From what I've read, DCF is a privilege only available at certain consulates... The consulate in Bogota does allow DCF... The nice thing about DCF is that you can just show up at the embassy in Bogota @ 1:00pm, Mon - Thu, with your passports, marriage certificate, divorce decrees, birth certificates, photos, police reports and I-130... They will do the filing for you... Your wife's second interview is usually scheduled from 30 - 60 days later... If the rest of your paperwork is in order, no SNAFUs, then she can have her visa the next day... This method by-passes the necessity of having to file a K-3 in the states and wait for the processing and forwarding to the consulate in Bogota... Alot of guys from the latin forum, myself included, are going this route since the wait time for K-1's is ridiculous... The Texas center is now saying over 250 days to begin processing a K-1 application... This method does not provide the 90 period in the US to be sure of the relationship, but sometimes you gotta do whatcha gotta do... 60 days versus 250+ is a no brainer... Thanks for the info... Title: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions Post by: Frank2002 on February 05, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions, posted by Peter Lee on Feb 5, 2003
Hello Peter I am happy for you. But just go slow and also try to get to know her better now through a text based enviroment and by phone once you are back home. I would make at least one more trip before anything to permant. A trip with at least 4 more weeks together would be great to know each other better as an absolute mininum. If you don't mind me asking what is her age and your age? It is also really important to really step back and think abit somtimes when you have a cute little one next to you. Questions to ask our long term goals, future family, her family etc. Is she outgoing for example compared to you? Does she want a career in usa or a home maker? Does she want to send money home? Does she know not all americans are rich? What are her expetations from her future husband, for herself and her family. Ask ihow her parents feel about this courtship and if they are for it, aginst, pushing it along bla bla bla You see you have to get the answers to alot of questions to make sure she is truly for you my friend. Good to hear you are happy. Please keep all of us posted Peter, by the way when is your next trip planed for PI?. We wish you all the best. Frank from Canada Title: Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions Post by: Peter Lee on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questio..., posted by Frank2002 on Feb 5, 2003
Thanks for the quick reply. I am x military been to Thailand Japan Okinawa Korea Vietnam so I like Asian type women. The age is a problem I am 59 she is 20 in March. I am a Karate Instructor and keep in good shape and I am told I don't look my age. I have my own school here in Florida for 25 years. I teach the women's Tae Bo so I get 20 women in a class and get em in shape. I ride my bike daily and eat healthy. So I am not your average 59 year old. I have never been married. Title: A Public Life... :o) Post by: Dave H on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with que..., posted by Peter Lee on Feb 6, 2003
Hi Peter Lee, Any relation to Bruce Lee? :o))) I'm glad you had a great trip! I really enjoyed reading how you did things a little differently than most people (bought Mt. bike, rented nearby house, lived like a Filipino). But, you had me holding my breath when you wrote about the Aunt chatting for her 17 (supposedly 21) year-old daughter. I had visions of "Howard's 1st Adventure" running wild throughout my head. When she said "I got a good heart and I should have a good wife, she will help me find one" I just about passed out! You are a good catch and few families in the Philippines would want to lose you. Thanks for the additional info. I was happy to read that you had your eyes wide open and chose for yourself. You can find roses among the thorns if you are observant and know what to look for. You are wise to take your time to get to know each other better. Additional trips are a great idea for everyone. You are OK with having kids so that is one big issue down. The only other big thing is...can you listen to Britney Spears and N'Sync all day? LOL Patience!!! Don't waste your money on an immigration attorney. You will do most of the work anyway. There is plenty of information here and on other websites. Good Luck! Dave H. P.S. Your case is not so unusual. I know several other very happy Fil/Am couples with similar age differences. I see no problem with the interview. You should know each other well and have much relationship proof by then. Title: Re: A Public Life... :o) Post by: Peter Lee on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to A Public Life... :o), posted by Dave H on Feb 6, 2003
Hi DaveH, I don't have much choice to take my time to know each other the system takes care of that, i believe Texas is frozen since Oct of 2002, is that right? So i am thinking instead of just dead time putting in paperwork and while i am waiting get to know each other. Can phone cards give you proof that you called your fiance for the interview. I will after reading your advice take another trip in June or July. About the Britney Spears and N'Sync all day thing. What do kids listen to here. Rap and hard crapy stuff. One of the attractions was everyone was locked into what we had in the 50's and 60's. We have heart attacks here, there they have song attacks. Some taxi driver or anyone just breaks into a song and knows all the words, I loved it. Thanks on the advice about attorneys. Title: age difference Post by: Esiang on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with que..., posted by Peter Lee on Feb 6, 2003
Age difference is not a big problem in a deeply inlove committed people. As the saying goes Age doesn't matter....he..he... About the age interview, it's really not a big deal as long as she can answer it sincerely after all Consulate people doesn't care about both of your age all they wanted to know is how real your relationship is. All I know they just asked personal questions between you and her. Dont worry your not an unusual case in fact mostly Filipina's are married to half their age. Good luck on your processing.... Title: Re: age difference Post by: Peter Lee on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to age difference, posted by Esiang on Feb 6, 2003
Thanx for the advice, When i called the attorney he said i should go into the interview with her and said that 40 year differance was unusual and i would get a tough interview. So i would have to fly to the PI for the interview and fly back i was hoping that was not necessary but he seems to think so. He said if i use his service he has the questions they ask in the interview. Only for $1000 bucks what do you think? I was told to worry and that i needed profesional help. Title: Questions at our Interview Post by: SteveG on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: age difference, posted by Peter Lee on Feb 6, 2003
[This message has been edited by SteveG] Peter, I went to my wife's interview(we got married in the Phils). It seemed to melt the ice as soon as the interviewer saw me with her. It shows you care enough to go and be with her rather than just "sending" for her like she IS a mail-order-bride. There wasn't much to the interview actually. The lady asked one of us, I can't remember who anymore(this was back in Aug 95), what the maiden name of the others mother was. Which ever one of us it was, knew the answer. How did we meet? How long had we known each other? Also, we took a very large bag of letters we had sent to each other which I'm sure helped but the interviewer didn't actually read any of them as I recall. What it boils down to is that they can ask anything they want to in order to judge if you know each other as well as two people would if they are really in love. If it is obvious that you do, then they won't bother you much - if they think something isn't right, they can grill you hard. Like the others said, the best way to prepare for it is to jump in and have the fun of getting to know each other and the interview will take care of itself. Ray is exactly right about not using the lawyer. There's no reaon why anybody who can read and is willing to do some research on the INS website can't do all this paperwork yourself. Heck, I did it, so it can't be too hard! LOL Title: what? $1000 Post by: Esiang on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: age difference, posted by Peter Lee on Feb 6, 2003
Wow...that's a lot just for the Questions that they have??? yikes.... Just better ask these guys here who had gone for fiancee interview.... I used to researched before on the internet about the experiences of these women/men who had gone fiancee/espousal interview. All of them have different kind of questions depends on each cases, some may have similarities some dont have...... This interview is not a big worry, all you need is yourself I could say it's very rare for Filipina's married to a foreigner ten years older than her or below ten years. 40 years age gap shouldn't be any different at all for a usual fiancee interview. About you being there at the interview, I think it would have been nice if your there to support your fiancee. Mostly are actually nervous but if your fiancee is confident enough to handle then that's ok. Title: Just ask us.... Post by: donb2222 on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: age difference, posted by Peter Lee on Feb 6, 2003
we can tell you the questions asked at the interview, many of us have been there. I do agree with the part about you being there for the interview. I was there for mine and my now ex-wifes interview, and things went much more smoothly. Yep, I married a young hottie. I am only 39, and the 14 year age difference was definitely a problem sometimes.. Do not believe the websites that try to tell you that a hard life makes the Filipinas mature faster, that is definitely not true. Don Title: Re: Just ask us.... Post by: Peter Lee on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Just ask us...., posted by donb2222 on Feb 6, 2003
Thanks Don, How could i get more information on the questions asked in the interview? And thanks for clearing up my confusion if I can be there with her for the interview. I agree about maturity they will all eventually act their age. But some would handle it better than others. I think this one seems to handle it pretty well. Title: Re: Re: Just ask us.... Post by: donb2222 on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Just ask us...., posted by Peter Lee on Feb 6, 2003
As Ray said, they will ask questions that anyone in a true relationship should be able to answer. That is the whole point of the interview, to see if you guys actually know each other. Okay, get on the phone and call your travel agent. What is a little time and money spent now when you are choosing someone to share your life and have your children? Any time and money spent travelling to the Phils is nothing compared to your future. Title: Re: Re: Re: Just ask us.... Post by: Peter Lee on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Just ask us...., posted by donb2222 on Feb 6, 2003
Hi, I would like some of the sample questions from the interview. And about going back i was just there. I will go again in June July. The thought of holding hands for 3 more weeks makes it tough but i will do it. I see now why so many just married there. But i agree with your advice and thanks. Title: I saw a TV show once .... Post by: Jeff S on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: Just ask us...., posted by Peter Lee on Feb 6, 2003
... with hidden cameras in second interviews (the ones after being married for 2 years) showing some of the fraudulent marriages. The interviewer would ask the husband and wife (separately) things like: How many children do you have? What city do you live in? What does your spouse do for a living? Are your spouse's parents alive? etc. They not only got them wrong, but were so far off it made for a hilarious TV show. Husband - no kids, wife 3 kids. Husband - she's a computer programmer, wife - I'm a nurse... In my 2nd interview, which lasted about one minute, the interviewer asked my wife to look in her purse, so she opened it for him. The first thing he pulled out was a reciept for two suits at Eagleson's big and tall men's store - not a real popular hang out for Japanese. That ended it right there since he'd met me and shook hands when she went in and I was wearing a suit. They didn't even bother talking to me. There's no practicing (unlike the movie "Green Card" - funny, but not very life like) so as everyone suggested, it'd far better to concentrate on getting to know your sweetie and don't worry so much about the interview. If you know her, you'll do fine. Don't sweat it. - Jeff Title: Nonsense! Post by: Ray on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: age difference, posted by Peter Lee on Feb 6, 2003
Peter, I think it's a waste of money to pay some attorney $1,000. He doesn't know what the questions are in the interview and to claim that he does is pure horse crap. You are going about this all wrong I think. Instead of trying to guess what questions they may ask in the interview, you should be working on building a solid relationship. The main purpose of the interview is to determine if your relationship is bogus or not. Are you filing a fiancée visa petition only to help a young lady enter the U.S. and avoid the immigration laws? Any questions they ask are primarily aimed at determining how well you two know each other, what the young lady knows about you and your personal life, and why she wants to marry you. There are no standard questions. All she has to do in the interview is answer the questions truthfully. If they think that she is not being entirely honest, then you are going to have trouble getting it approved. The attorney was correct however in that it may help for you to attend the interview. I think recent fiancée visa interviews have been running all of 3 minutes or so. Last year they didn't even do interviews for fiancées. Where she is more likely to run into some real tough questions is in her CFO seminar. There, I just saved you a grand (LOL) Ray Title: Good Job! Post by: Dave H on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Nonsense!, posted by Ray on Feb 6, 2003
Hey Ray, You also saved me a grand or two several years ago with similar advice. I just want to THANK YOU one more time! I agree with everything you said! Dave H. Title: Re: Nonsense! Post by: Peter Lee on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Nonsense!, posted by Ray on Feb 6, 2003
Hey Ray! Your my kinda guy, thanks for the savings and good advice. This stuff was my gut intuition and you spelled it out for me. Could you tell me more about her CFO seminar? Title: CFO Post by: Ray on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Nonsense!, posted by Peter Lee on Feb 6, 2003
Sure Peter. Here’s some info on the CFO (Commission on Filipinos Overseas). This is run by the Philippine government and has nothing to do with the US embassy requirements. She will have to complete the seminar before leaving the country. They will likely require her to attend before they give her a passport. Part of the program is to scare the young gals a little by showing them some of the bad things that could happen to them in their new home. Some of the moderators have been known to be particularly hard on very young girls who are going to marry much older foreigners. http://www.cfo.gov.ph/filmigrants_text.htm Ray Title: We are all millionaires..... Post by: donb2222 on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with que..., posted by Peter Lee on Feb 6, 2003
Hi Peter, You will find that most filipinos think that all americans live like millionaires. They will tell you that they know exactly what america is like. Why, because they have seen American movies. Yes, most believe America is just like the movies. Also, returning Filipinos do not tell the truth about America. Many of them will want to brag and show off, and therefore add to the distorted view of America. Also, it is great that you are keeping yourself in shape, but the age difference is not physical, it is mental. And, it is probably you that will have to do most of the adjusting, not her. Of course her family is accepting of you. You and your new bride will be expected to be their retirement plan. Yes, I am generalizing, but the more you know about their impression of America and Americans, the better prepared you will be . Good Luck, and remember that time is your best friend :0) Don Title: Re: We are all millionaires..... Post by: Peter Lee on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to We are all millionaires....., posted by donb2222 on Feb 6, 2003
Thanks Don, I looked into me being a retirement plan right from the start. None of the guys here that married filipinas are doing the husband retirement plan. Her dad seems well off with a good farm. No one mentioned any money yet except her school if we got enguaged and we did. School is 3500pasos i can handle. It is almost commitment money, after all she will be my wife. But no money asked for any relative so maybe i am lucky, that is why i thought this was a special case. Yes i agree time is my best friend but under the present sytem i don't have much of a choice. So if i process paper work now i will have plenty of time to get to know her more. And i do plan on going again for 4 weeks in June or July knowing that each day will be closer to the interview. Is my approch reasonable? Title: money to the Phils... Post by: donb2222 on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: We are all millionaires....., posted by Peter Lee on Feb 6, 2003
Many of the guys here or their wives DO send money to the Phils. Many Filipinas are raised from birth believing that it is the childrens responsiblity to provide everything for the parents when they are older. The requests from the other family members will come later..... Don Title: Re: We are all millionaires..... Post by: Esiang on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to We are all millionaires....., posted by donb2222 on Feb 6, 2003
Oh..oh..... I dont believe it eversince I was at school learning everything from Math to History..... We are all the same human being we go to work etc..etc...the only difference is eversince your government established in the history it was well done and your leaders are really really doing their job for their country. I think living like millionaire's is too exagerating like Joe Millionaire? ha..ha... However I would say true when you say returning Filipino's who will not tell the truth about America but those are arrogant Filipinos.....as a matter of fact some are actually turning into being an Americans..That's why so far I dont really have filipino friends here except for my Best friend and my old american ladies friends who were back then young in the 50's and 60's..... Nowadays every Filipinos with their television on and watch the news from everywhere around the world will have atleast a little knowledge of what it's like to be in every country. But really not a millionaire...... If you do live in the Phils. well you could be a millionaire.... America is not like movies, movies is part of Art.... I guess the right words to say is that Filipino's love American movies why co'z it's nice compare to Filipino movies where it's all the same story over and over again. Filipino's who believe Americans live like millionaires are the one's who doesn't like American movies. That's what I know...... Title: Re: Re: We are all millionaires..... Post by: donb2222 on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: We are all millionaires....., posted by Esiang on Feb 6, 2003
Hi Esiang, I do not think "we are all millionaires", that is just a joke. Many Filipinos do watch American movies, and do think that all americans live like millionaires. Anyway, thanks for your inforamtion, it is always good to hear from the Filipinas. Don Title: Re: Re: Re: We are all millionaires..... Post by: Esiang on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: We are all millionaires....., posted by donb2222 on Feb 6, 2003
Oh! I'm sorry I take it seriously lol......he..he... Title: Filakanas... Post by: Dave H on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: We are all millionaires....., posted by Esiang on Feb 6, 2003
[This message has been edited by Dave H] Hi Esiang, One of the many things I respect about my wife is that she tells Filipinos what life is really like in America...both the positive and the negative. Some people complain that she is still simple and hasn't changed when she returns. To which she responds, "Why should I?" :o) Dave H. Title: Re: Filakanas... Post by: SteveG on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Filakanas..., posted by Dave H on Feb 6, 2003
[This message has been edited by SteveG] Dave, Melly's friends said the same thing when she went back the first time after 2yrs in the US. They were expecting her to arrive in a Limousine with lots of jewlelry but she rode into town on a jeepy wearing the same clothes she left with. She told them, "Why should I change just because I live somewhere else!?" Are you sure we aren't somehow married to the same woman, Dave??? LOL SteveG Title: Could be... Post by: Dave H on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Filakanas..., posted by SteveG on Feb 7, 2003
Hey Steve, ...the same woman, as my wife has been out of town for a few weeks...but I think she's in the Philippines. ROFLMAO! Dave H. Title: OhNo!!! Post by: SteveG on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Could be..., posted by Dave H on Feb 7, 2003
HMMMMMMMmmmm, Melly was gone for quite a while but just got back here a few weeks ago................ LOL Maybe we should do some finger printing here. :P SteveG Title: I Think You're Right! Post by: Dave H on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to OhNo!!!, posted by SteveG on Feb 7, 2003
[This message has been edited by Dave H] Hey Steve, They seem to have a lot in common! They both have black hair, black eyes, are Filipinas, both names begin with "M"... I think we need to look into this further...besides it will keep us out of trouble for a while. :o))) Dave H. Title: Uh Oh.......... Post by: SteveG on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to I Think You're Right!, posted by Dave H on Feb 7, 2003
She just called me Dave. This is it..... LOL SteveG Title: Re: I Think You're Right! Post by: SteveG on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to I Think You're Right!, posted by Dave H on Feb 7, 2003
Dave, Yeah, how many small, dark eyed, black haired Filipinas could there be with first names starting with "M"?! My gosh, I think we have stumbled on the ultimate con-woman! And to think she's here with me now acting so innocent...... SteveG Title: Not Many! ;o))) Post by: Dave H on February 08, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: I Think You're Right!, posted by SteveG on Feb 7, 2003
Hey Steve, She keeps calling me Dudong! Hmmm...lets keep this our little secret for now. Then we will arrange to be at the same place, at the same time and spring the trap! :o))) Dave "Dudong" H. Title: Aha! Post by: Jeff S on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Could be..., posted by Dave H on Feb 7, 2003
That's why you've been posting so often. - Jeff Title: You got it... Post by: Dave H on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Aha!, posted by Jeff S on Feb 7, 2003
Hi Jeff, I have some time on my hands waiting for her to come online to chat. She is connecting at an unbelievable 56K from her home landline with a laptop. It sure beats the Internet cafes in the Philippines. Took Bear's advice and bought a PC camera. Best money I ever spent! Dave H. Title: Re: Filakanas... Post by: Esiang on February 07, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Filakanas..., posted by Dave H on Feb 6, 2003
Good ...nice to hear about it... Bravo to your wife.....just being honest..... Title: Check his profile, Frank... Post by: Jeff S on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questio..., posted by Frank2002 on Feb 5, 2003
He's 59 and she's under 20. Peter: - Jeff S. Title: Re: Check his profile, Frank... Post by: Peter Lee on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Check his profile, Frank..., posted by Jeff S on Feb 6, 2003
I was a paratrooper i want to jump. It is worth the risk for me. If Texas ins is frozen as they say it will take many months more anyway to process a fincee visa. I have been with women for months and not experienced the feeling i have for this one. Fools ruch in you know! but thanks for the feedback it is very important to me. Title: Re: Re: Check his profile, Frank... Post by: Esiang on February 06, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Check his profile, Frank..., posted by Peter Lee on Feb 6, 2003
Wise men say Only Fools rush in.... But I can't help falling in love with ....... la..la..la... Title: I agree with all of this, great advice!.......n/t Post by: donb2222 on February 05, 2003, 05:00:00 AM Title: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions Post by: Lonny on February 05, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions, posted by Peter Lee on Feb 5, 2003
Good post, everything you said was a reminder of trips I have made to the PI. The spectrum there runs from one extreme to the other. Experiencing all of these (or as much as you can) will give you a better look at the big picture and help you make lasting choices in a life mate. It is an exciting adventure and learning experience every trip, so slow down smell the sampaguita. We are close to the same age and I will say from I have seen that the younger the girl, the risks go up. But it would be the same risk no matter your age. Even if you both were 20 just means a higher risk. My wife has had several girls that are young and have been here in the US less than 1 year, ask her to help them find another guy here. What is also interesting about this is that they all have said their husbands are already looking for another mate in the PI. Life is kind of hard to figure out sometimes, you know. Title: Re: Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions Post by: mudd on February 05, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions, posted by Peter Lee on Feb 5, 2003
dude, you are in such a hurry that you couldnt see a red flag, if someone was waveing it, right in front of your face. im suprised you didnt ask her to marry you already, or did you???. you need to slow down and get a grip. how long have you known her for, a few days???? come on, how could you possibly know this girl. i liked the story though. Title: Good trip report... Post by: greg on February 05, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions, posted by Peter Lee on Feb 5, 2003
The way you completed your trip with back up plans to meeting other Filipinas was Excellent. Personally I feel that you both need more time getting to know each other before you make the decision to bring her over. Keep in mind that some Pinay will Agree, Say or Do anything to get to America(she could've been pressured from family, friends to Grabb the "Chance"). A Chance that doesn't come around often for certain Filipinas. Title: What's the big hurry Peter? Post by: Ray on February 05, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions, posted by Peter Lee on Feb 5, 2003
First, for a fiancée visa, you do not need parental permission, you do not need her birth certificate, and you do not have to have a 6-month relationship. However, I think the consulate may have some questions about your relationship based on the fact that she is 1/3 your age and you didn’t spend a lot of time getting to know each other. They may question your motives, but there is no legal basis to deny a fiancée visa. It really sounds like you are rushing this whole thing. Personally, I think she is too young and there is no way that you two can know enough about each other after 2 weeks. Being in love is a wonderful thing, but it’s not a reason to get married right away. What does this girl really know about you? I’m sure that you know exactly what you are doing, but does she? My advice is to slow down and give both of you a chance to really THINK about what you are doing. Like I advised you last time, I think your odds would be MUCH better with a lady at least in her 30’s. Ray Title: Next step is... Post by: shadow on February 05, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Finished a Trip to Cebu with questions, posted by Peter Lee on Feb 5, 2003
learn much more about the culture! The scenes you described were normal amongst the girls with higher values in PI. If they had done the things you wanted of them, like going to your room, etc. they would probably not have been the kind of girl you were looking for to begin with. Their culture is radically different from ours. Learn about it or you will regret it later, I promise. As for the not being able to apply without 6 months proof of relationship, I don't know where you got that, but it is incorrect. As long as you have proof of meeting (Pictures together) you will not be automatically rejected. My next advice would be to slow down a bit. If it truly is "love" it will stand the test of a little time. Just my opinion. Larry. |