Have A Politically Correct Holiday!
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Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit,
our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially
responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral,
celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within
the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of
your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect
for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of
others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular
traditions at all... and a fiscally successful, personally
fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the
onset of the generally accepted calendar year of 2003, but
not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other
cultures whose contributions to society have helped make
America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily
greater than any other country or is the only "America" in
the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race,
creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith,
choices of computer platform, or sexual preference of
the wishee.
*By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms.
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It
is freely transferable with no alteration to the original
greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually
implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and
is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole
discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform
as expected within the usual application of good tidings for
a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent
holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is
limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new
wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Hum & Sallie
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... in response to Have A Politically Correct Holiday!, posted by Humabdos on Dec 24, 2002Things That Sound Dirty at Christmas But Aren't
"Whew, that's one terrific spread!"
"I'm in the mood for a little dark meat."
"Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist."
"Talk about a huge breast!"
"If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!"
"Are you ready for seconds yet?"
"Are you going to come again next time?"
"It's a little dry. Do you still want to eat it?"
"Just wait your turn, you'll get some!"
"Don't play with your meat."
"Just spread the legs open and stuff it in."
"Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?"
"I didn't expect everyone to come at once!"
"You still have a little bit on your chin."
“Come and sit on my lap, little girl!”
"How long will it take after you stick it in?"
"You'll know it's ready when it pops up."
"Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!"
"How many are coming?"
"That's the biggest one I've ever seen!"
"Just lay back & take it easy...I'll do the rest."
"How long do I beat it before it's ready?"