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The supervisor e-mailed me today and they found his alien #. I guess now it is time to mail my congressman, and see if he can speed things even further.
Why am I in such a hurry to see Thai out of the country?  Honestly, it's not to be vendictive.Because now I sit at home with my doors locked. I'm frightened. I married a stranger. I don't know what he is capable of.  I don't know how he or his family will react when they recieve the  letter of denial from the ins.
I have always thought Thai as a peaceful person, but I also thought he loved me, and look how that turned out.

... in response to Got the Alien #!!!, posted by Lori on Sep 20, 2002

Realistically, I would not get my hopes up if I were you.

Sure, the INS can revoke his legality, but as far as tracking him down, I doubt they will pursue it. If you could show evidence that he was a terrorist or something then it might be different, but if he's just another fraudster they will not hunt him down. You will be lucky if they even turn his name over to another agency for investigation.  They'll probably just tag his name in the computers so if he ever surfaces, someone can take the appropriate action (detainment for deportation).

I believe the odds are VERY good that if they (Thai and his family) don't feel they have a good chance to keep him here legally then they will just aid him to go underground. He'll stay in the US illegally, with the protection and support of his family, and forever work as an indentured servant to them.

So, Lori, you should prepare yourself for no resolution to this, other than getting yourself legally out of the marriage. He may very likely just become the Disappearing Man. Before you worry too much about that, think of the scenario where he claims abuse. Methinks you are better off if he just goes away...

Of course I might be totally wrong about this. But if he does resurface I think the odds are good it's just for a periscope check, then he'll be diving deep again.  

Regards, Tim

... in response to The Underground Option...Be Prepared for..., posted by Tim on Sep 20, 2002

Maybe I should give you Thai's brothers # and you can give them all a head start:
[This post has been edited]

... in response to Well, Tim,, posted by Lori on Sep 21, 2002

I have a good friend who is VC I could have him call and see what they tell him. I'll be putting a new roof on their house in about 10 days. Ps my friend lives with his brother also.

Hum

... in response to Hey Lori!, posted by Humabdos on Sep 21, 2002

I'd sure like to know what they are thinking and what they are up to. I don't know what their agenda is. I would like to be a fly right now, and know what they are planning.

... in response to go ahead, posted by Lori on Sep 22, 2002

Hey Lori,

...It would have to be a fly that speaks Vietnamese. :o)))

Dave H.

... in response to Hey Lori!, posted by Humabdos on Sep 21, 2002

Humbados, I assume you're kinda joking, but during the Vietnamese refugee fiasco in 1975 I heard the figure stated that estimated 60% of the refugees who were hustled into the US without really checking their papers were actually VC....sympathizers and those who actively fought against US troops. Supposedly one of the richest Vietnamese landowners in Santa Ana was VC before coming here as a refugee in 1975.

... in response to Re: Hey Lori!, posted by Terry C on Sep 21, 2002

I just couldn't spell Vietnamese! ROTFLMAO! ;-))
Anyway I don't care one way or the other... He was a very good friend to my late father, it's true they treat their elders with a great deal of respect!

Hum

kat or cat? lol

... in response to wasn't joking, posted by Humabdos on Sep 21, 2002

I guess I spelled it wrong too. I spelled it Vietnemese! LOL!

... in response to Re: Hey Lori!, posted by Terry C on Sep 21, 2002

Hi Terry,

Yeah, I never heard that, but always assumed it. That's why I came up with that term I used only to myself. I felt alot of times when dealing with certain Vietnemese people I met here, that they might really have been. Then again, I've met alot of nice Vietnemese here too. Some of them could have been former VC, or sympathisers. Ya never know.

Jay

... in response to Re: Re: Hey Lori!, posted by Jay on Sep 21, 2002

Jay, I hate to be one of those people who make a blanket condemnation of a whole group of people, but after 18 years of marriage to a Vietnamese woman, and knowing so many other Viet/US marriages that were like mine, it's hard for me to trust them again. I too occasionally meet some in the Asian food stores in Pittsburgh, and they're so nice and friendly, but I would never turn my back on one. I'm sure there are honorable Vietnamese around.....I've just never met one. Btw, I brought my whole ex-inlaw family out the day before Saigon fell. The way the whole refugee thing was being run at Ton Son Nhut, Ho Chi Minh could have got refugee status if he'd been alive! At the time all I wanted to do was get the in-laws and myself out of there, but in hindsight I wish I'd had a good movie camera to document all the scams I witnessed being done by our wonderful embassy personel. That's another group I'll never again trust. I'll get off my soapbox now since this is off topic.

... in response to Hey Lori!, posted by Humabdos on Sep 21, 2002

Give you his phone number and you could call him he has been here for 20 years or more but is still a bit hard to understand him maybe your better at it now. Hum

... in response to Hey Lori!, posted by Humabdos on Sep 21, 2002

Hum,

You mean a Viet Cong? LOL! Did he say that?

Jay

... in response to Re: Hey Lori!, posted by Jay on Sep 21, 2002

thats what we called them in the war.
Hum

... in response to Re: Re: Hey Lori!, posted by Humabdos on Sep 21, 2002

That's what I call the "bad" Vietnemese I meet here. Like in every group, there is the good and the bad. :-)

Jay

... in response to Well, Tim,, posted by Lori on Sep 21, 2002

I don't understand why the government would make it so hard to marry an alien and then make it so hard to deport them when they are found out. Why would this supervisor personally take on this case? He even gave me his personal e-mail.I am supposed to stay in touch with him weekly.

You know, I am really trying hard not to become bitter. And I wish I could look through your rose colored glasses, Tim, and believe this man REALLY loved me. If I could believe that then it would be alot easier to go on. I don't even know who I am anymore.
I don't feel like I can even go around my family anymore. They all had doubts about everything. At our wedding reception, one Aunt was overheard saying, "They don't even look like they belong together". Now I have to face her someday. What am I supposed to do at christmas when everyone comes together. I am sooo freakin' ashamed that I don't feel like I can go.

Yes, yes, I know, I brought this on myself. Everyone here knows they are taking a risk. I should have seen the red flags. I should have known more about thier culture. Shoulda, woulda, coulda....blah blah blah.

... in response to honestly, posted by Lori on Sep 21, 2002

Hi Lori,

Carr is right. This is not your fault. I think you did everything right, it just went wrong. Nevermind looking at it in hindsight. We all read your post's. You weren't stupid about it. I believe any one of us could have been taken in by a family like that, under the right circumstances.

As for the relatives, well, I remember my grandmother saying, "why don't you marry one of your own kind"? She's old NY Irish. I'm sure up in Council Bluffs, anyone would think an AW marrying a Vietnamese guy like you did, is a nutty thing. Not puting down Iowa or NY Irish, but these marriages are really strange to alot of white folk's. All you can do is hold your head high and don't regret. Easier said than done, I know, but you really have nothing to be ashamed of.

I admire the way you are trying to hold it together. Please continue. It may not be much, but at least you know there are others who understand. Us here at PL have all gone through people saying we are foolish to marry forigner's. If this were 10 years ago (no internet), it would be you all alone. Not much help, I know, but I hope it help's a bit.

BTW, I tried to trace that phone #. It is either unlisted or wrong. Best not to give out his number on the web, anyway. They could claim harrasment.

My inadaquet(sp?) two cents worth :-)
Jay

... in response to Re: honestly, posted by Jay on Sep 21, 2002

n/t menas no topic, silly!!

... in response to you must have dialed wrong---n/t, posted by Lori on Sep 21, 2002

LOL! Actually, I tried to trace it on the internet with reverse phone. After I posted that, I DID call it. I got a recording of a American womans answering machine. :-) No, I didn't leave a message. I'll be nice.

Jay

... in response to Re: you must have dialed wrong---n/t, posted by Jay on Sep 21, 2002

Yeah, they have always had that. I think they may have been a target of racism at some time.

... in response to you must have dialed wrong---n/t, posted by Lori on Sep 21, 2002

"n/t" means "no text"

Silly! :-)

... in response to I disagree!, posted by Ray on Sep 21, 2002

Can you believe me when I say, "That's what I ment"?

... in response to Re: I  agree , posted by Lori on Sep 22, 2002

Just razzing you Lori, to help take your mind off of your "problem" :-)

Hey Lori, you said you were planning to travel in the future when things settle down. That's a great idea! Have you considered going to the Philippines for a vacation? The weather is hot and humid like Nam, but the beaches are fantastic and the people are friendly. After you pay the airfare, everything else is pretty darn cheap. You can still get a cottage on a remote beach for 3 or 4 dollars a day.

Ray

... in response to I disagree!, posted by Ray on Sep 21, 2002

I always thought it meant "no t!t's" ;=)

... in response to honestly, posted by Lori on Sep 21, 2002

You didn't bring this to yourself, Thai did.  You went to Vietnam with the purest of intent.  His family is already plotting their fraud.  No Lori, you are not at fault here.  You are the victim.

Someday (and I hope very soon), these people will reap what they've sown.

... in response to honestly, posted by Lori on Sep 21, 2002

Hold your head up high. I serious doubt anyone in your family will say "nya nya nya nya - told you so.." They're probably relieved that it came out sooner rather than later. I'll bet, most said what they did, not to be cruel, but rather in genuine concern for you. In fact, I'll bet most will tell you they're so sorry it didn't work out for you. Don't feel shame - you didn't do anything wrong. Lack of psychic powers should not be a cause for embarrassment.

You know, when many old people are asked whet they'd do differently of they had it all to do over again, most say that they played their lives too safe. They wish they'd have taken more chances. Well, when you're in your rocking chair with purple hair entertaining your great grand kids, you can tell them about how back in ought two you took a chance and went halfway around the world...

-- Jeff

... in response to The Underground Option...Be Prepared for..., posted by Tim on Sep 20, 2002

I understand that the local police don't handle the deportation, but couldn't they take him into custody?

... in response to What about the local police?, posted by HappyInBrazil on Sep 20, 2002

In most places, the local cops will not arrest illegals unless they suspect them of a crime. They don't want to establish the precedent of being "immigration police", for a whole lot of reasons, most of which are good. For example, if they started doing this, illegals would report even fewer "real" crimes than they do now, out of fear of being picked up themselves. Another reason is that the local cops don't want to do (and shouldn't have to) a job that really belongs to a federal agency.

This whole issue is a current debate in many communities.

Regards, Tim

... in response to No...unless they suspected him of a real..., posted by Tim on Sep 21, 2002

Tim,

I hate to break the news to you, but being in the country illegally IS a "real crime".

When you say that local cops don’t want to get involved with illegal aliens, that doesn’t fit the situation here in San Diego. They didn’t go around looking for them, but when local police came across obvious illegal aliens during the course of conducting their business, they would routinely make a courtesy call to the Border Patrol who would come by and pick them up. After a few loud mouthed “community activists” complained about it, the police chief started a new policy of not notifying the Border Patrol. The cops on the beat were not very happy about it and neither was I.

Illegals SHOULD live in fear of being picked up and deported. But of course that's just my opinion.

Ray

... in response to Huh?, posted by Ray on Sep 21, 2002

.. but hispanic rights groups in Orange County have gotten the Anaheim police (the last holdouts in the county) to stop informing the INS of illgeal aliens even after they've been arrested for other crimes. It's sad. They're even pushing to change the terminol;ogy from "illegal alien" to "undocumented immigrant." Talk about trying to legitimize things.

-- Jeff

... in response to No...unless they suspected him of a real..., posted by Tim on Sep 21, 2002

And even if they do arrest an illegal alien for something else, many (most?) police departments still will NOT notify the INS, nor does the INS even require them to. A police computer search will turn up an outstanding deportation order (most of the time) but it will say (paraphrase, don't remember the exact words) "This subject is under a deportation order, upon release from your custody, IF YOUR LOCAL JURORISTICTION PERMITS, please notify the INS at 800-123-1234, blah blah blah, give us a description of his/her vechile, liscense number, address etc."

And unless the subject actually has a deportation order, it won't even mention that he is an illegal alien.

The INS does have a 800 number for people to call and report illegal aliens, but I don't know how well they actually follow up on the reports they receive.

... in response to No...unless they suspected him of a real..., posted by Tim on Sep 21, 2002

Tim: Another reason is that the local cops don't want to do (and shouldn't have to) a job that really belongs to a federal agency.
Lori: That's what's wrong with our country. No agencies REALLY work together. That's how 9-11 happened, in my opinion.

... in response to Got the Alien #!!!, posted by Lori on Sep 20, 2002

Does he have a key?

... in response to Re: Got the Alien #!!!, posted by Ray on Sep 20, 2002

He gave it back before he went to california. Maybe he did'nt even plan to come back, but things never worked out there. Who knows?

... in response to Got the Alien #!!!, posted by Lori on Sep 20, 2002

...Some people looked at O.J. Simpson as a quiet and peaceful person.

I'm sure you have nothing to worry about.

Stephen