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I can't beleive I'm saying this stuff.  This is the mood I'm in right now.  I'm stupid, too emotional!!!   I've got to keep all manifested hurt and anger inside.  No, I can no longer.  I'm beginning to lose sense of myself, my thinking and what I beleive in and the ideals I strive to acheive out of life.  I'm totally disgusted!!!

- Kevin

You're so upset here you're losing control.  Why do you use Ray's last name in your post?  That's real bad web form, IMO.  If you are this upset with him you should probably take the argument to email.

If you need someone to talk to please call or email me.  I'm always in the mood for some Vivian or Helen bashing, my friend :-)  I'll even let you bash Ray, just a little :-O  But you know what?  In the end, I think you miss most of what Ray has to say, which is good advice, because you latch on to a phrase here and there which really upsets you.  For example, the "I thing anyone would be crazy to..." line.  That was a bit harsh and I'm sure it hurt but that's his opinion - you've just got to let it be.  Don't let it cloud the rest of the stuff he says.

Jeez, I hate to see two people I like fighting...
Jim

It's a good thing that Ray's real name is Bill Johnson...Whoops! Tim's 24 hour rule may be boring, but it sure beats having to say your sorry to a bunch of people. BTDT! I agree that it's best to blow off steam in emails or by talking to someone before all control is lost. If that fails, pull the emergency plug and dump the tank before it BLEVE's! (boiling liquid expanding vapor explosion)  Ray got on my butt a little once or twice in what I knew was out of concern...it was just what I needed to get the K-1 paperwork completed and my wife over here. Remember how much we all get on Darrell to get on that d@mn plane...so much that he finally did it! Amazing!!! Ray and Kevin actually share a lot...a love of Filipinas and farts. :o)))
They have both caused me to spit out pieces of my lungs on many occasions.

Dave H.

- Kevin

Nathan

Bear and Honey

Some motivations for Posting;

1. We want to relate some very useful, pertinent, relative information for others to be able to utilize and learn from related to our own Asian - American experiences. (I think this was originally the more practical and intended purpose for creation of the board, but surely not just limited to it)

2. We just need to release our frustrations in writing form, while at the same time some people actually may want to draw others attention to our own situation/experiences/relationships in life and get feedback and impathy from others while cathardically feeling comforted by airing this stuff.

3. We some how feel we owe it to the family of those posting here to relate information that includes both of the above, but often gets interwoven and then we feel it is good for all to hear it, cause it keeps things flowing.

4. Some have nothing better to do than irritate,(trolls), etc.. antagonize, take sides and feel they have the most admirers and or feel they need to do verbal, intellectual battle with others wits in order to build up their own self image.

Zeb :)

Keep your chin up and your pride intact, then they lose!

Sometimes it's tough, but worth the effort.

Larry.

We must both hang in there, and when the forces are against us, still try to be decent human beings.

- Kevin

In my 'dysfunctional family' post, I was purposely trying to get a reaction, any reaction, out of people. Reactions I got, all of them positive except for Ray's. Ray was offended. So what does that tell you about his character?

I think you know the answer, as does most everyone else. I needn't elaborate, he has already done that for me.

There is more to this than many people want to admit. Yes, there are factors involved including making the right choices on our own parts, and paying attention to details. But there is also an element of luck involved. Anyone who thinks differently is blissfully ignorant of the facts of life.  

Over and out.

Larry.

BTW - here's a great book on the art of writing: "The Elements of Style", Strunk and White.  It's also called "the little book" because in paperback form it's only 80+ pages.  It covers grammer and style but mostly it's a how-to for effective and interesting writing.  Brevity and conciseness are big themes so it's no wonder the book is so small.

Jim

It was not meant to suggest ALL MOB seekers are misfits, just an unusually large percentage of Americans I've met in the Philippines were.

The Elements of Style is a good book.

I've also read 'On Writing Well' by William Zinser. Ironically, I didn't feel it was well written.  :)

Brevity rules!

Larry.

I was going to respond to Shadow's post about not being difunctional, but then I remembered that I used to live in a drainage pipe and ride bike that I found in the trash. :o)))

Dave H.

Jim

It seems that YOU were the one who was offended. Is it possible that it was YOUR ego that was hurt? I had already forgotten about that incident, but here YOU are rehashing the whole thing again and obviously looking for a fight. Now that should tell you something about YOUR character.

Don’t you have anything better to do with your time? :-)

Ray

I ended up in the Philippines for far diffrent reasons than anyone else I know of on this board or Maganak for that matter. Not to find a wife or to get layed but to explore the country, to sucba dive, snorkel, climb a volcano, experence a new culture.( have you ever even been to the Philippines?) It was on the fith trip I met my first wife just by chance. She was a waitress and a restaurant I ate at almost everyday for three months. I now realize it was my mistake in picking her as a wife she was too young and childish. It was easy to blame it on her being a gold digger card shark (which she was) But the fact of the matter is I made the wrong choice.  

I've moved on now and learned alot, I have met a fantastic woman Sallie who is older (34) and has much higher morals. She is from a good family who I like and get along with very well. I think I have made the right choice this time and will give it 100%. I don't look to the past but to the future. I've made my mistakes and will move on with a posative attitude.

I hope someday you can do the same.

Hum

Sorry did'nt have time to spell check! got a life to live!

You and I have alot in common regarding life in the broad perspective.  We both goof on utots and have the same tastes in women.  Like you, I stand by my position regarding golddiggers and green-card sharks.  They are real and lurking.  Nobody is going to intimidate me into having sympathy or compassion for them.

You know I used to like Jean.  I thought she was alot of fun.  I thought it was unfair that Carrisse and others gave her the bad rap.  But perhaps you learned something about Jean that the ordinary cyber-reader wouldn't detect.  If she really is promoting internet porn to make money, then she is not a credible, scrupulous individual.  On that premise, I'd never use her services.  If what you said about Jean is true, this is the kind of character our good friend Loren Lagarda should go after.  Not some innocent, defenseless guinea-pig with honorable intentions.

By the way, I have an extremely funny fart story from the Philippines.  Unfartunately, I think Patrick deleted it from the archives.

- Kevin

If I had this effect on you. So much for trying to help. Hey, if you think everyone think's your a jerk or something, imagine how I must feel after posting all that stuff below. I'm sure everyone thinks I'm a real scumbag loser. I need to stop posting anything personal. It makes me and Criselda look bad.

I was just thinking the other day how, how I always have to lie to coworkers and such because I can;t tell the truth about my past. It's either too bizzare sounding or sounds like BS. I always have to lie. I keeep mixing up the lies with different people. :)

Your not a jerk, your fine.

Jay

Don't know how you got all that from my post, but if it helped I'm glad. :)

Jay

I could give ya a hug too. I've been feeling stupid all day because of that "sleep deprived" post. LOL! Too much personal stuff and it came out all wrong. Oh well, that's life on a computer bulliten board! :)

I've always liked you too. Didn't think ya cared much for me though. BTW, my journey is unfathomable, too. Try explaining that stuff to co-worker's! That's why I alter the details just a bit. LOL!

Jay

Maybe I disagreed with something you said in the past, but I never meant to throw the "I don't think very much of you..." vibe :P

The only thing you've ever done that pissed me off--I say that tongue in cheek :P--was end the utot humor :P  I love that stuff!  LOL

Keep the Faith

H

I just figured that because you didn't reply much to my post's written to you. Ah well, I'm sure we all get wrong impression's of each other. That's why communicating on computer's is frustating to me. :)

Yeah, Utot humor is o.k.. I give up, bring on the Utout jokes. ;)

Jay

Alot of times I don't get to the board for a few days.  When I post something that gets alot replies I usually just reply in one post to everyone, unless there is something sepcific I feel a need to address in a particular reply.  I kinda realized that I hadn't had the time to reply to everyone personally on some of the hot topic posts I've had over the last several months and have made and effort to rectify my approach.

I always appreciate the advice everyone here gives, whether it suits me or not :)

Sorry to give you the wrong impression :(

Keep the Faith

H

- Kevin

Just relax, know that your fine, nothing too wrong with you. and you'll be o.k..

Please remind me sometime of my reaction to the fart trivia. I'd like to hear it.

Take Care,
Jay

I'll be  the  first  to  admit  that lately  I  have  not  followed  all  of  the  threads  to  their  completion.  So  if  I  have  missed something  pertinent  forgive me.  Over  the  last  two  weeks though,  basically  I  have  found  most  of  the  topics here  to be  juvenile  and fundimentally  boring.  I  think  definately  out  of  charector  for  our  normal  informative  friendly  banter.

However  when  I  read  your  post  above  that  you  are  so  wound  up and  angry  over  recent  topics  here.  As  a neutral  outsider  the  first  thing  that  comes  to  mind  is  that  this  cannot  be  heathy  mentally.  To  me  PL  is only  a  nice  discussion  board  but  nothing  more.  I  wouldn't  let  the responses  dictate  my  life.

----------------------------------------------------------

I don't  want  to  tell  you  hear  what  to  do  with  your  life  but  only  offer you  a  suggestion  to  consider.   Maybe  you should  just  forget  about  your  quest  to  find  a pinay  mate  for  say  2  months and  take  a break. (heck I  am in  the same  boat  amigo I'm  looking  and  not  really  getting anywhere).   No  PL, no Maganak if  you  follow that,  no searching  for  the  perfect  penpal,  and  yes  no  Utot  humor  if  need  be.  

Focus  on  your  new  found  freedom  from studying  make  some  killer recipes  and  enjoy  the  change  of  the  seasons  to  the  fullest.  I  certainly  am  looking  forward  to  flying  home to Upstate NY  in October to  do  the  same. Take  mini  road trips  and  enjoy  New England  lore  and life.  tiss  the  season  to  do  it  right now. collect 5  different  colored  leaves  from  each New England  state, NY  and  even  Jersey if  you  are  really  motivated).  start  making  flavored  hard  apple  cider   you  will  appreciate  it  later on.  etc. etc. etc,

Recallibrate  your  bearings  and  you access  your  disposition and  find  your  magnetic  north  for  a  while.

I don't  want  to  be  preachy  but  it  just  sounded  to  me  like  you  need  a little  break for  a  while.  all  the  best to  you!

Windmill Boy

If you haven't read my response below ("Gerlie Came Early...") please read that first, because I am going from there with this post :)

Let me start off by saying that I feel we have a friendship.  We've both been around here for a while and have exchanged responses and emails(The Utot stories crack me up :P Sorry Jay!  LOL) over the years.  I know that you wish me nothing but the best and hope that you realize that that's all I want for you :)  There is something that I have been wanted to point out for a while, but I feared offending you.  Plus, I'm just not able to be here as much as I once was, so I didn't wanna seem to come out of nowhere with my perceptions.  

All the wars lately have had me thinking about you alot and I just felt it was time to say something.  Maybe to offer a different way to look at things.  I know you're a smart guy.  Maybe you have thought these things yourself, but can't buy it.  Maybe you're just too hurt still to consider the possibilities, etc...  But, what I don't believe is that you're too screwed up--I am generalizing from the tone of some of your recent posts--or undeserving of a nice young lady to share your life with.  That I refuse to believe.  And you know how I am when I get something in my head ;)  Stubborn is an understatement!  LOL

I understand depression.  I deal with it on one level or another every day of my life.  It runs in my family and I have a tendency to become overwhelmed and drift if I am not careful.  But that's me, I am just saying that I think I understand where you are.  I have been there.  I didn't like it very much.

I know you've already heard this, but I think it bears repeating.  No one here is out to get you Kev.  I think, to a man, all we wanna see is you heal and find happiness.  Many times I have seen you over react to someone else's over reaction and then everything gets blown out of proportion and you've upset yourself.  How do I know?  I was doing it here last year.  Maybe I wasn't posting every thought, but I was just as deffensive, took many things out of context and even lashed out in anger a time or two.  It's all in the archives.

You made some correct assumptions, because you know the situation pretty well, about Gerlie and I in an exchange with Stephen a few days ago.  I honestly believe that there is something to what you said.  That with everything I have had to endure over the last few years that maybe God is finally smiling on me in the form of my relationship with Gerl.  I agree.  Gerlie, whether she wants to talk about it or not, help put my Annulment into perspective, something no one else could do.  I wouldn't listen to anyone else.  She was the one I confided in and she was the one who held my hand, even though it made her very jealous that I was broke up over another woman.  She cared enough about me to find the strength to help me deal with my emotions, sometimes at the price of her own pride.  That's part of what I find so irresistable about her :)

Four people got me through the death of my mother in one piece.  My two closest friends, Billy and Doug, My cousin Brittany and My Gerlie.  Without them I don't know how I would cope with the loss.  It's still not something that I accept all that well, but they help me.  

Look at what Gerlie has had to deal with in the last ten months.  She meets a guys that she feels a connection with.  Has reservations about the fact that he is still unhappily married to a Filipina and in the middle of an Annulment.  My first Annulment hearing was set for March.  It was rescheduled FIVE times and eventually ended in May.  That's five times she had a date in mind, only to find out it would be just a little longer.  MY original plan was to travel to Davao in July, then my mother died.  We thought maybe September, but then everything became very overwhelming to me and we settled on January 2003.  The whole time family and friends are telling her I am feeding her a line and that I am not committed to her.  Sometimes she even believes them for a little while.  Imagine how that must feel.  Everyone here knows me.  Does anyone doubt that I will travel to see her?  She only has faith, the PL archives and my word to go on.  Sometimes, understandably so, she has had doubts.  Thankfully not very often or for very long :)  She has stood by me through all of this and it endears me to her all the more.  If this is simply God's way of saying "You took all I had to dish out and didn't snap, Big Guy, here's your reward!" then he truly is a wise and merciful God :)  LOL

Where am I going with this?  Here :)  LOL

There are two ways to look at something.  With anger or with hope.  Anger makes you deffensive and bitter.  Anger clouds your vision and makes you skeptical of everything you see.  Anger makes it impossible to accept things for what they may become because you are focused on how they could go wrong.

Now, hope is my bag baby :)  There is a positive in everything, you just have to find it.  In my case hope found me :)  When I was at my worst.  When I had completely given up on the idea of ever meeting someone who could find what's lovebable in me and love it, hope found me.  My only part in the begining was just not screwing it up :)  I just let it be what it was.  I didn't worry about trying to turn it into what I wanted it to be.  I let it be what it was and it turned into what I needed.

I had so many preconceived notions with Ayesa.  I didn't place that burden on my relationship with Gerlie and it exceeded my expectations in every way!  She is truly a wonder!  I'm just lucky that she thinks she is the lucky one :D

You asked a question that I want to answer. "Yes, I have my defenses. Perhaps what set me off is the Helen saga. Why? If I'm not careful, it could happen to me."  You're right.  If you're not careful it could happen to you.  But, if you're too careful nothing may happen at all!  

As I saw it, being in just your position, I had two choices.  Never trust anyone again and then I would not be disappointed or hurt by anyone but myself, or I could look at each new person with a fresh set of eyes.  I chose hope and even if the unthinkable happens, I won't regret it nearly as much as I would regret not trying at all :)

This post was made with the upmost repect intended.  I just wanna see you joking and laughing again Kev ;)  Find a way to put your demons to rest.  I KNOW it's difficult, I have dealt with it myself.  I can tell you though, the rewards are sweet on the other side :)
Keep the Faith Brutha!
H

About the hope (pag-asa) and anger (galit) issue.  I was pretty upbeat until near the end of the week.  Then my weekend was nearly spoiled.  My spirits were assaulted, believe it or not (contrary to what some would like to beleive about me.  It really hurts to be accused of being a bigot, or this or that, when that's not what I mean in my heart.  It burns me to be portrayed as a disgruntled piece of trash.

As I think I said before on this board, now that I'm done with school, I'm really stepping up the effort to meet new girls.  The past couple of days, I haven't been in a letter writing mood because inside I've felt shaken by this whole persuit.  I presently feel torn between the naysayers on this board and my the naysayers in my personal social sphere (family, friends, coworkers).  At the same time I have some folks that support me emotionally.

I've sent letters out to some gals whom I think there really might be some potential for a wholesome, fulfilling relationship.  If I don't reach out, nothing is going to happen.  At the same time, I don't expect to know true love overnight.  Attraction, platonic friendship, yes.  But I have to think with my big head as a check and balance to my little head.  I've learned a painful lesson in life having been married to somebody that did not share the same fundamental values as myself.  If someday, I'm married and we have a farting match in the bed, instead of me being kicked out of bed when I wake up and expel that overnight pocket of gas, I know I've married the right one (ha-ha!).

My goal is to make a visit to the Philippines within the time frame of about a year.  I've got to rebuild my vacation time and continue to save money.  I'm trying to make some worthwhile friendships in the meantime.  I might go to specifically meet somebody in person who I developed something special with.  Or who knows, maybe I'll stag along.  Or maybe both (meet somebody new and visit somebody I've established friendship with).

A pinay lady at work does not beleive in the integrity of letter writing.  Her personal opinions are that too many scam artists are lurking.  Yet there are nice girls in the Philippines.  An interesting point is that when I first started corresponding with Analyn, Shirley went to the Philippines and passed my picture around and told about me.  She told me there was this nice girl who wanted to write to me if I was interested.  Yet it seems that some good girls are apprehensive about personals because there is a stigma that it makes them look cheap or that they're taking the easy way out of poverty. (At the time, I just stuck with Analyn)  Shirley's suggestion is that the next time she and her fqamily go to the Philippines, I just tag along and socialize in order to meet somebody.  I think she's keen to things that most of us guys on the board aren't aware of or will never 100% understand.  If I take that strategy I'll probably stay in Mindoro and Borocay where her folks and her husband's folks come from respectively.  It sounds like it could be fun.

I'm determine to mold what I really want out of my life.  I have setbacks and retreats from time to time.  Maybe just growing pains.  Part of what I not only want, but need, in life is the love and companionship of a special woman.  I will not just sit there like a beached whale, but I will persue all avenues.

One other thing.  I can relate to Gerlie as far as family influence is concerned.  It is a given that my step-mother especially, and to a lesser extent, my father will always plant seeds of doubt when it comes to persuit of finding love with a pinay with somebody in the Philippines.  I'm coy about this.  My father would have a fit if he found out I recently sent out more than a half-a-dozen letters.  My step-mother would scorn me again about how I'd live in poverty in old age because all of my retirement money would be gone.  But my heart is alive and kicking.  If someday I ever have to, I will fight tooth-and-nail to protect myself.
Hopefully I'm never going to have to go through a divorce again.  I know it's possible to find pure, genuine love and commitment, and it's the hope of landing this that keeps me going.

Cheers,

- Kevin

Watch the Oklahoma University/Alabama football game.  3:30 PM eastern time.  Perhaps this will calm you down.

There are no Filipinas playing football today.

After the game we'll talk more.

Stephen

PS....If Oklahoma loses then I'm gonna be crazier than you are now!!!

I can say this though.  If you can get crazier than what I am now, if Oklahoma loses, then it either means 1) your hierarchy of needs are fulfilled, or 2) you must have bet big bucks and lost.  My brother used to really be passionate about the Patriots (he still is but he's matured about it).  When they'd lose, he nearly lost it.  I used to wonder how he could become that upset over a football game, then I'd say (although unlike other people who participate in betting pools) he must be betting big bucks to get that upset.

- Kevin

I must say that as of now, I'm going through a new personal depression.  Hopefully it's very short.  At moments, I feel like I just want to give up.  Yet part of me wants to be fulfilled and live a brighter life.  To think that I'm disdained by the nice Filipinas associated with this board, yes it hurts.  I just feel like plain dirt no matter what.  What can I say.  I'm just a guy.  An average guy.  Maybe my place for happiness is not on this Earth.  I don't know.

Let me say this Jay.  I don't think I'm totally bad.  I am keeping more and more of an arm's length or distance from certain family members.  They can think or beleive what they choose to think or beleive and try repeatedly drilling all this crap in my head.  I know what I want out of life to make life worthwhile.  To live solo and celibate, or to choose a mate in conformity with the so-called norms in America are not what I want out of life.

I'm trying to grow as an individual.  Do the things I like.  I thought I came a long way since the divorce and then nearly having been taken in by a TNT.  I've been cigarette free since January 27, without the aid of Nicorette (I thought that was impossible, for I relied on that before when I was 7 months smoke-free for a brief period afterv the divorce, inspired by my 2nd. ex).  I'm actually feeling better physically.  After the 8th. or 9th. month, the lungs are supposed to clear up.  My health was falling into serious condition when suddenly my bronchial tubes would seize up and I was suffocating from within.  Twice, I'd made unplanned visits to the emergency room to get emergency medicine.  In February I was diagnosed with asthmatic bronchitis.  Sinnce then, up until May, I'd have varying bouts of breathing difficulty (I guess that's what having asthma is like; never had it when I was little).  To the present, I'm still dependent on 2 different inhalers as prescribed by the doctor.  I guess it takes along time to get out of the system.

It is a very good feeling to be finished with graduate school.  It is now that I'm really looking forward to do the things I enjoy and buy the things I want.  It's September now.  School just started.  Autumn is coming.  Now I'm looking forward to things associated with autumn I otherwise didn't have time to enjoy.  In October, I'm going on a 3-day weekend camping trip to the Catskills in New York (state).  I look forward to garden decorating with squash, gourds and pumpkins, and experimenting cooking autumn recipes.  I'd just better not sip too much Blue Moon pumpkin ale while I'm in the kitchen because I'll burn whatever I'm cooking.

I forgot what else I was going to say.  If it's important, it will come back later.  I'll talk to you later.

Cheers,

Kevin

We're both real happy and hope y'all find similar happiness.

Dan and Mares

NNP

Congratulations on  the  birth  of  your  new  girl. take  lots of  pictures and  get  the  sleep  and rest  when you can.  God  has  given  you  a great gift  but  with it  will come  all  of  the 3 00 AM  challenges  too.  It is  so  nice  to  hear  such  happy  news  like  this on the  board.

windmill boy

Stephen & Tess

Thanks,  Patrick

It looks like you’ve been busy :-). The option to jump to the thread when you view the message works great. I like that.

Searching phrases: seems to be some bugs here.

If I search an unquoted two-word phrase, most of the time I get the error message. Occasionally, the search will run but the resulting messages that it finds don’t always contain both words (contains either word). For example, search Asian for PIG FART, I get an error message. If I search “PIG FART”, same error message. If I search for PIG, it works. If I search for FART it works. But it won’t take the phrase, either quoted or unquoted. If I search BAD DAY, it runs, but the results will not always contain both words. Searching for “BAD DAY” gives an error.

Similar problem with searching user names. It won’t take a “phrase” or compound name (JEFF S, DAVE H, etc.). If I search for DAVE, it will find any users containing DAVE. If I want to search for DON J, it won’t take it. If I search DON it finds all kinds of names that contain DON (DON J, DONB2222, DONNAVICTORINA, etc).

Keep up the good work Patrick!

Ray

Searching by message for pig fart-  6 hits, all of which contained both pig and fart.
Searching by message for "pig fart"- 0 hits

Searching by subject for pig fart-  0 hits
Searching by subject for "pig fart"-  0 hits

Searching by message & subject for pig fart- 6 hits (same as above)
Searching by message & subject for "pig fart"- 0 hits

Searching by message for bad day- Many hits.  "day" is one of the words considered irrelavant by the search engine and is discarded before the search is done, so the result is that only "bad" is searched for.  I took the list of irrelavant words from an article I read on search engines.

Searching by message for "bad day"- 5 hits, all contained the exact phrase bad day.

I was also able to search for compound usernames both with, and without quotes.  I tried using single quotes as well to see if I could force an error, but was never able to get one.

What does the error message say?

Searching by message for pig fart- “Error: Could not determine what you wanted to search on”
Searching by message for "pig fart"- “Error: Could not determine what you wanted to search on”
Searching by subject for pig fart- “Error: Could not determine what you wanted to search on”
Searching by subject for "pig fart"- “Error: Could not determine what you wanted to search on”
Searching by message & subject for pig fart- “Error: Could not determine what you wanted to search on”
Searching by message & subject for "pig fart"- “Error: Could not determine what you wanted to search on”
Searching by message for bad day- Same results as yours.
Searching by message for "bad day"- “Error: Could not determine what you wanted to search on”
Searching for compound usernames gives the same error message.

I took a closer look at this and found that before the error message is displayed, it actually does search the first archive and displays a count momentarily, so it seems that it is initially accepting the search string. It looks as if the problem occurs when it decrements the archive counter the first time. In other words, it never made it past archive 104. A blank screen comes up with the message displayed at the top. I also noticed on the searches that run that the whole screen is updated whenever the counters change, not just the count values as I would have expected.

I’m using IE5 if that makes any difference.

Ray

Thanks for the feedback on the error.  Would you mind clicking on the "Help" text near the top bar of your browser and letting me know the exact version?  I run 5.50.4807.2300 and can not duplicate the error.

The initial call from the primary search page when you enter the search phrase and select the forum and searhBy method is fine, but the search script then calls itself over and over again, each time searching the next archive and reporting progress.  For some reason, your browser is not returning the searchBy variable to the script when it re-calls it.

Is anybody eles seeing this problem???

message (the default)
subjects
messages & subjects
username

Thanks,  Patrick

Same goes for the Chargers too! :-)

Ray

Asian   pig fart      Message             6 results
Asian   "pig fart"    Message             no matches
Asian   pig fart      Subjects            no matches
Asian   "pig fart"    Subjects            no matches
Asian   pig fart      Message and Subj.   6 results
Asian   "pig fart"    Message and Subj.   no matches
Asian   Dave H        User Name           unknown
Asian   "Dave H"      User Name           unknown

It seems to be working in the 6 first cases - the function searches through archive 104 to 38 in all 6 cases.

In the last two, the search terminates after archive 97 or so. But I realize that this is probably not so much an error as a conscious decision. :-)

Browser: IE 6.0.2600.0000
--
Best regards,
Arild

Dave ?

Jim

If searching with quotes it never gets past archive 104.

If searching without quotes it works ok.

Jim

Humabdos

I went through the same thing, back in the day.  At the time my Senator was the Head of the INS oversight commitee.  I went to his office, filled out a form and started to get some info.  I'm not sure that anything moved any faster, but it sure made me feel better having a local number to call :)

Hang in there Pard :)

Keep the Faith

H

Ray

Now sallie will get here in the winter time she will freeze!

Hum

I see this as yet another move in a general crackdown coming in China. Tim may disagree, and I fully admit he and Wendy may be right.

Here's the link:

http://www.cnn.com/2002/TECH/internet/09/06/china.google/index.html

As I have said, the average Chinese families I have met are fine people, but their government is going to cause more trouble sooner than later. With Taiwan refusing to knuckle under I see a little more sabre-rattling ahead. To quote Chairman Mao; "Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun."

Don

Larry.

-----
China shuts Google's window to the world

Beijing tries to rein in power of the Net
By Michael A. Lev
CHICAGO TRIBUNE
September 4, 2002

BEIJING – China's government is regularly accused of trying to quash criticism and control the flow of information, but even by that standard yesterday was a remarkably bad day for its public relations machine.

First came news that the government has shut down Google, the Internet search engine, because it opened too wide a window to the outside world.

Then there were reports that security forces had beaten and kicked a German camera operator and confiscated his videotape for filming a group of North Korean refugees trying to seek asylum by dashing into a German diplomatic compound in Beijing.

Days earlier, police searched the home of a South Korean journalist.

And finally, there were more questions – but no answers from Beijing – about why an internationally recognized AIDS activist disappeared last week into state custody.

These were separate incidents that in different ways illustrate the government's unpredictable level of tolerance for dissent or challenge to its authority.

While there have been no overt signals from the government that some kind of newly coordinated crackdown on expression is under way, China watchers suspect there has been a general battening down of controls in advance of the Communist Party's five-year congress in November.

Beyond that, dissecting the motives of a government that does not answer directly to the public is not possible, and diplomats often speculate that China does not always act according to one vision. Hard-liners and moderates may disagree on what constitutes a threat to government authority.

Experts said the decision to block the Chinese-and English-language Google search engine sites fits with government policy to rein in the power of the Internet.

Although the World Wide Web represents an extraordinary tool for business, technology and education, it terrifies the Communist Party by allowing for the free flow of ideas.

In the past year, the government has taken greater steps to maintain control by developing an Internet police force to block information considered to be objectionable and to keep closer track of users.

This summer, in the aftermath of a fire at an Internet cafe in Beijing, it closed thousands of such centers around the country, reducing the number in the capital from more than 2,000 to about 30. Those that reopened require users to register their names and government identification numbers.

According to a Chinese Internet news item yesterday that apparently was deleted hours later, U.S.-based Google was banned because it gave computer users access to pornography, other sensitive material and information about superstitions, a reference to the banned Falun Gong spiritual movement.

Some Internet users raised questions about the government's ability to control the flow of information, by posting critical messages on Web sites. They also shared tricks for circumventing the ban by accessing Google via alternate Web addresses in China.
-----

The Chinese government has decided to "police" the internet access from inside their country by placing the burden on the internet service provider companies. There was a test case recently where the PRC government arrested and convicted a guy who ran an ISP company. All he did was fail to block some websites on the governments list. This is a subtle and effective strategy; by holding the ISP companies responsible they cut down dramatically the number of choke points they have to monitor.

I still think they (the PRC government) are fighting a losing battle in trying to police the net, but time will tell.

Don, as far as the PRC causing trouble, I don't think it will be in the form of invading Taiwan. Don't forget one thing - they are far more terrified of us (USA) than we are of them. You above all people know how unbalanced the scales are as far as military power. I'm talking technology, not manpower.

The PRC is even more stunned, awed, and petrified of us after 9/11. Why ? Easy. The speed in which we projected our military power into Afganistan and neutralized the
situation really shook them up. It's one thing for them to intellectually know that the USA has military technology and power, but to actually see it wielded with such effect and resolution is a whole different matter. Their respect for and fear of us was renewed, although to save face they will never admit it publicly. IMHO they won't cross certain lines.

Regards, Tim

Would the US try and kick them off if they were already in control? Don't know. Doubtful.

But so long as Taiwan doesn't have suicidal tendencies they PROBABLY won't jump.

I was talking of trouble in the less-than-out-and-out-war sense. Roughing up foreigners, cracking down on Hong Kong (which they have been doing slowly, despite their promises). Rounding up dissidents or whomever has gotten on their crap list for whatever reason. Bumping a few more airplanes. Firing missiles short of Taiwan or even over Taiwan. The regular Tiannamin (sp?) Square treatment.

And sending the forces we did to Afghanistan, and sending enough power to repel an invasion, or worse, to counter-invade defenders in place, are two VERY different things. In Afghanistan, we never had in place the US forces to oust the Taliban by ourselves. And China is no ragtag Taliban. Could they withstand the undivided attentions of the US? No, is the short answer. But can they make it too expensive for the US to go all the way? Yep. Sure can. They have to do it just right, though. And the native Taiwanese army will have much to say about it.

Don

Bear and Honey

I just thought I'd post a slight update on what things have been happening in my neck of the woods...and since it was discussed a bit a while back, I thought I'd also contribute on why I myself (at a mere 22 years of age) am already seriously considering this route.

First, for things here: as some of you may remember, I had to take the GRE last July, and I'm happy to say that I did well enough that I'm not going to worry about taking it again. :)  That's always a BIG plus to doing well enough on a test the first time around :)  Next week, OU starts back up on me (ah, yes, the summer is gone already), so my parents and I will be fully moving me into my apartment at OU this coming Sunday.  So yeah, I've been a pretty busy fellow as of late (had to do some last minute scheduling changes for work today, as my supervisor's schedule didn't match my original planned schedule for my training period at the library.  Oh, well--gotta roll with life, I think.

Now, why am I considering this route?  There is, I'll be the first to admit, a stereotype about those of us who consider this (heck, my own grandmother, after I told her I might someday marry a Filipina or a Japanese, said "Why?  They eat rice and all that other stuff..."  In other words, they weren't American.  I love my grandmother dearly, but we do have differing views.  But I don't think that I fit into this stereotype (I doubt any of us do); I am not a loser in any sense of the word.

I suppose that my reason for doing this is fairly broad.  First, there are values: on the vast majority of the Filipina personals I've read, they talk about their strong beliefs in God, their love of family, and their want for happy, healthy family someday--the exact same things I believe in and want.  Moreover, I find them extremely attractive.

Now, am I completely throwing AW's out of the loop?  No.  There are a great many AW personals I read in which they say they want a man who will lavish them with the money they deserve (in which case I find myself thinking, you wouldn't like me at all, lady).  But there are also quite a few personals I've found for women who sound like pretty good, decent women.  Will I write to them as well.  Why not?  At this stage in my life, I don't see a reason to close off any avenue to me just yet.

Take care all,
NateD

You wrote:

"I suppose that my reason for doing this is fairly broad. First, there are values: on the vast majority of the Filipina personals I've read, they talk about their strong beliefs in God, their love of family, and their want for happy, healthy family someday--the exact same things I believe in and want. Moreover, I find them extremely attractive." That, in a nutshell, is why I have chosen to marry a Filipina.... mainly the attractive part. Caucasion women just aren't my preference. Some guys like vanilla ice cream... I just happen to like mocha...

Joe

 This is a discussion point on many (fil-west)forums.You guys have hit the right answer I believe.It does not matter how you met.What matters is the Love you have for the woman you marry.I would also like to add how hypocritical it seems for western culture to look down on this when they have shows like,"Who wants to marry a millionaire""bachelor" and "bachlorette" "temptation island",the list goes on and on.

Equitis

I'm really surprised, Jay.  I thought you were my friend.   Perhaps this was just a gross misunderstanding.  When I made that post in regards to Zebson's, I did not think of your situation, which seemingly unusual, turned out for the better.

Perhaps I'd be better off with AW's, gays, or simply a hermit.  According to you guys, I obviously can't be any good to a sweet, innocent Filipina no matter what.

Like it or not, I too am trying to move on.  Forget it.  I've got to keep my cool.  I could throw books, etc. at my computer or out the window and break glass!!!!!

On a similar note, us men who seek brides abroad hate being portrayed as women traffickers, sex abusers, etc.  Think about that.  Well that's almost what mainstream America, more specifically organizations like NOW, think of us men.  That makes me uncomfortable in the same light.  Hey, Bear has even endured a degree of uninhibited discrimination (in the workplace and at the campground) simply because of the lifestyle he chose.  Well, like you and I, he's got the right to persuit of happiness.

- Kevin

There was this "Husband Shopping Centre" where a woman could go to choose
from among many men, her husband.

It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive
attributes as you ascended up the floors.

The only rule was that once you opened the door to any floor you must
choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a floor you couldn't go
back down except to leave the place.

So, a couple of girls go to the place to find men ...
First floor, the door has a sign saying "These men have jobs and love
kids."

The women read the sign and say "Well that's better than not having jobs,
or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?"
So up they go.

Second floor, the door says "These men have high paying jobs, love kids
and are extremely good looking."
"Hmmm," say the girls. "But we wonder what's further up?"

Third floor: "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good
looking, love kids and help with the housework."
"Wow!" say the women. "Very tempting!!! But, there's more further up!"
And up they go.

Fourth floor: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely
good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak."
"Oh, mercy me. But just think what must be awaiting us further on!"
So up to the fifth floor they go.

The sign on that door said: "This floor is just to prove that women are
impossible to please."

Mal

Here's a new Reuter article on the phenomenon of western men seeking brides in Asia, specifically, in Thailand.  It really has nothing original to say and basically insinuates that such men are social misfits.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20020829/lf_nm/thailand_marriage_dc_1

--Scott

You could tell where that article was going after the second sentence. "English dentist Ken Moylan came to Thailand looking for a wife. It took two hours to find her."

Then they quote Ken, "The first day I went out with Wan, she came back to my hotel and hung all my clothes up and tidied the room. I thought it was marvelous," he said. "I knew then there was something special." I guess Ken has never heard of a house keeper.

I was especially happy that a bride was found for the man suffering with post-traumatic stress disorder. =8oO

But, I would have to agree that any man that says 'Give me a lady, I want to get married now.' is a social misfit. They belong on one of those American marrige shows like "Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire?"

Dave H.

drive-byes

STEPHEN:

Oh, Lori.....that was a good one.

Why the need to act like this?  You're only hurting yourself.  You're only doing more to leave a bad taste in people's mouths for you.

You're making yourself look worse.

Stephen

I don't have a problem if you stay. It's not my decision anyway. But how about acting the way you do on Tim's board. Disagreements are fine...but your behavior isn't. You had several supporters of your point of view, that are now trying to distance themselves from you!

Dave H.

Now don't you have an I.Q. test to study for?

http://www.fredoneverything.net/AsianWomen.html

There is near me an Asian sushi-beer-and-dinner establishment that I’ll call the Asia Spot. The region is urban, so the clientele is a mix of some of just about everything, but the waitresses are all Asian, principally Japanese, Indonesian, Vietnamese, and Thai.
The Spot is a neighborhood bar. A large after-work crowd, many of them regulars, gather at happy hour. The social dynamics are curious. It would be an exaggeration to say, as someone did, that the black guys come to pick up white women, and the white men come to get away from them – but it would be an exaggeration of an underlying truth. The waitresses are a large part of the Spot’s appeal.

A common subject of conversation among male customers is how very attractive these women are when compared to American women. It is not a thought safe to utter in mixed company. It is a very common thought. American women know it.

Why are the Asians attractive? What, to huge numbers of men, makes almost any Asian more appealing than almost any American? The question is much discussed by men at the Spot. (I should say here that when I say “women,” I mean the majority of women, the mainstream, the center of gravity. Yes, there are exceptions and degrees.)

American women of my acquaintance offer several explanations, all of them wrong. For example, they say that Asian women are sexually easy. No. American women are sexually easy. The waitresses at the Spot are not available. They date, but they cannot be picked up.

Another explanation popular among American women is that men want submissive women, which Asians are believed to be. Again, no. For one thing, submissive people are bland and boring. In any event the waitresses aren’t submissive. Many compete successfully in tough professions. Among Asian waitresses I know I count an electrical engineer who does wide-area networks, and a woman with a masters in biochemistry who, upon finding that research required a Ph.D and didn’t pay, went back to school and became a dentist. Both of these wait tables to help out in the family restaurant.

At the Spot I know a woman waitressing her way through a degree in computer security, a bright Japansese college graduate making a career in the restaurant business, and the manager of the Spot – not a light-weight job. Submissiveness has nothing to do with their attractiveness.

Why, then, are they so very appealing?

To begin with, look at the American women in the Spot. Perhaps a third of them are stylishly dressed. The rest of the gringas run from undistinguished to dumpster-casual: baggy jeans, oversize shirts -- often male shirts -- with the tails out. They seem to affect a sort of homeless chic, actually to want to look bad, and do it with more than a touch of androgyny. A high proportion are at least somewhat overweight. (So are the men, but that’s another subject.) The Asians, without exception, are sleek, well-groomed, and dressed with an understated sexiness that never pushes trashy.

Further, the Asians are what were once called “ladies,” a thought repellant to feminists but very so refreshing to men. Listen to the American women at neighboring tables, and you will frequently hear phrases like, “He’s a f*****g piece of s***.” In what appears to be a determined attempt to be men, they have adopted the mode of discourse of a male locker room and made it their normal language. The Asians, classier, better students of men, do not have foul mouths. They presumably know about body parts and bathroom functions, but do not believe that a woman raises her stature by referring to them constantly in mixed company.

Men at the Spot, I have noticed, instantly understand that coloquial commentary is not wanted, and don’t engage in it: In the presence of the civilized, men adopt the standards of civilization. Men also tend to think of women as women think of themselves. The Asians, without displaying vanity, clearly think well of themselves. And ought to.

All in all, they give the impression that they do not want to be one of the guys. They want to be one of the girls. Here we come to the core of their appeal. Let me elaborate.

The default position of American women is what men refer to as “the chip,” a veiled truculence, mixed with a not-very-veiled hostility toward men and a shaky sense of sexual identity. The result is a touchiness reminiscent of hungover ferrets. There is a bandsaw edge to them, a watching for any slight so that they can show that they aren’t going to take it. They are poised to lash out in aggressive defense of their manhood.

As best as I can tell, they don’t like being women. Here is the entire problem in five words.

The Asians at the Spot show every indication that they do like being women. They do not seem to have anything to prove. Being happy with what they are allows them to be comfortable with what they are not – men. They are not competing to be what they can’t be with people who can’t be anything else. They don’t have to establish their masculinity because they don’t want it. They do not assume, as American women tend to, that femaleness is a diseased condition to be treated by male clothes, gutter language, and bad temper.

I’ve spent many dozens of hours chatting with the gals at the Spot, and never seen a sign of the chip. For a man, the experience is wonderful beyond description – smart, pretty, classy women, who are women, and are not the enemy. As long as American women carry the chip, the Asian gals will eat them alive in the dating market.

Note that the espousal of hostile obnoxiousness as a guiding philosophy appears to be an almost uniquely American horror. It certainly isn’t requisite to independence or self-respect. I recently met a quite attractive blonde who, among other things, was smart, a long-haul motorcyclist, a student of the martial arts out of sheer athletic enjoyment of it, and an excellent marksman. She was also heterosexual, feminine, delightful company, and had no trace of “the chip.” I was astonished. How was this possible, I wondered?

She was Canadian.

http://www.fredoneverything.net

Nathan

I think it's unappropriate for you to judge Bear that way. He and I didn't pretend to know what had happened. I guess it's just not fair enough that we judge somebody by listening to only one side of the story. Bear didn't know that I was going to stay with Helen in Manila. He thought my friend and I will stay in a hotel as soon as we get there but my friend who's also Helen's friend convinced me to stay with her at Helen's apartment. The price was low and since I'm going to stay there for only a week, I agreed but I still didn't let Bear know about it 'coz he already warned me about not having anything to do with Helen. I told Bear about her when he arrived at the airport. While my friend and I were there, we talked about Helen and Zeb's issue. We listened to her side and since I first heard Zeb's side by reading his posts, it was kinda hard to believe her and I think she could sense it. I guess that's why she showed us Zeb's hand-written letters. One was just like a simple note from Zeb when he left Helen in Baguio 'coz he decided to do things on his own without Helen. He left her with this note with an amount of money enough for her to go back home. Helen was crying as she was left alone in that place after getting a vacation leave from her job. She also pointed out incidents where Zeb would just leave her alone in a hotel with a certain amount of money without telling her where he's going. She only knew that he left when she asked the receptionist.

Upon hearing her side accompanied with those evidences (Zeb's notes/letters), we asked her why did she continue to have a relationship with Zebson. She indicated how much she loved him and that she believed he would change. Thus, she went on with the process of their papers with Zeb's money of course. We told her to post her side of the story on MA or PL but she said she doesn't care what Zeb would post about her. Furthermore, Zeb was still sending her emails even after he dumped her. Evidence? Helen checked her emails from my laptop. I was just kinda surprise about that 'coz he sent her emails like just wanna say hi and hello, how are you and stuff like that. To me, it's like nothing happened between them. I'm saying this from experience. When Bear tried to break up with me before (remember the LOVE HURTS post?), he stopped sending me emails.

I posted this not because I want to defend Helen. I did have some personal grudges against her but I think we should all be fair to everyone. If we tell our stories, let's consider the other side. I mean don't just post your side to make you the good one. I'm not saying that only one side is right and the other is wrong. I think they both have mistakes (whether big or small) that lead to their separation.

To Zebson, we apologize.

Bear's Honey

P.S.

Forgive me if my comma placement and sentence structures are incorrect. Oh btw, Helen didn't feed us with lapu-lapu or anything like that. In fact, we fed her.

I'm sorry, I just felt I had to say that to Bear, for a long time.

I will say this though, your husband's a good guy and a class act. Alot of people on this board, would have been posting and posting with anger in reply. Not him, he just states his position in an even-keeled way and moves on. We need alot more of that on this board. I think he's a really good guy, and that's really the only problem I ever had with him.

BTW, you comma placement and sentence structure are great. You seem like a sweetie, too. I mean that.

Take Care and God Bless,

Jay

Zeb :)

I think you're probably a decent guy.  We all make minor mistakes with the ones we love.  As for your transgressions against Helen (leaving her before), something deep in your subconcious was probably telling you that something was not right.  If Helen was a credible, decent individual, after such transgressions she would 1) either broke it off with you and moved on, or 2) she and you could have come to a better understanding of each other, and the relationship and trust would go up to the next level (a deeper commitment).  I think Helen did a tremendous job of putting you on a guilt trip; just an example of her ucanny ability to influence people to beleive or think a certain way she wants them to think or believe for her own advantage.

- Kevin

As Patrick said above, I will just make my argument and let it stand on it's own merit's.

If I dumped my wife for every little untruth I heard at the begining of our relationship, I'd be drunk in an alley somewhere! Or worse. I didn't even know my step-daughters' father was alive till after I was married. In your book, that would make my wife the Daughter of Satan. Your ex really ruined you.
I can't say as I blame you for being mistrusting, but you have GOT to get over it! It's becoming deep and dark with you. This obsession and it really shows in your written word. If you haven't noticed by now, telling one Filipina how you think a whole segment of them are untrustworthy, evil people, only out to use guy's, will get you NOWHERE. I don't know much about many other women, but I know a bit about Filipina's, and if a woman hear's any of these thought's, she'll be gone!! She'll think that that's what you think of Filipina's no matter what else you say. I'm sure you probably get e-mail's from Filipina's who do and have, posted here. They probably tell you don't worry, you'll find a special Filipina one day, but they just say that because they like you, they know your sentimental and emotional, and they feel bad that one of thier own did this to you. However, I'll bet not a one would go out with you given the oppourtunity.

I'll let you in on a little secret, Kevin. There were a few other little deception's that about caused me to drink myself to death over, BUT I WORKED IT OUT INSIDE MYSELF. If you recall, I met my wife while I was managing a bar in Angeles. Talk about being untrusting, I had dealt with so many F@cked up Filipina's, that I didn't believe ANY Filipina's, let alone a bargirl. Eight years later, thing's are GOOD. Life is GOOD. Criselda is GREAT.

Whole point of my rant is; you don't know Helen. You've never met her. That leaving, "I can't commit", emotional crap doesn't fly with a Filipina. It ONLY work's on western women who watch Opra. I certainly am not taking sides, unlike you, because I don't know Zeb or her. Sound's to me just like Honey said, that both made enough mistakes to go around.

You know, if a guy get's himself some little 20 yr. old virgin, he may not get alot of baggage with her, but if he marries a woman 25+, he's going to get more with age. The older they are the mor they will have, probably.

Say I'm jumping on you or what the hell ever, but this attitude of "This Filipina or that Filipina are Satan's daughter" garbage, is getting on my nerves now, too.

I truly hope you believe in God, Kevin, because that's the only way your going to get another Filipina. Give prayer a try, and stop looking in those book's for your answer's. It worked for me..

Jay
The EX most untrusting SOB on the planet

I understand your post to Kevin but he is going to take it as an attack.I remember you gave me similiar advice after my divorce but I didn't want to hear it.I had a justifiable(in my mind)resentment and I wasn't going to let it go.I held onto it for so long that,oddly enough,it became sort of comfortable and familiar.Like a blanket:)Sometimes it blew hot and sometimes it just simmered but it was always there.To let it go meant I would have to move foward.I never seemed ready.Of course, as you know, resentments became a luxury I could no longer afford.I had to to alot of working on myself to let it go.Thanks God I did.Now if anybody mentions the ex I just roll my eyes and shake my head and kind of chuckle.I really do hope she is doing well.
It takes what it takes for some people and it is hard for others to rush it with well intentioned advice.

One thing I would like to clarify for the folks out there and I am sure you will agree totally.You had a drinking problem looonnngg before you met Criselda.So whatever deception issues you faced did not "about cause you to drink yourself to death".You would have happily done it anyway.No excuses needed for you,bro!I am glad you stuck it out.Criselda's loyalty,values and faith were my own inspiration for seeking a wife in the RP.Life is good!

tito Matt

Yeah, your right. I just used that phrase because I think I drank a bit harder, maybe? :)

I always knew Criselda was the inspiration! LOL!

Jay

What really set me off is you're saying that no good Filipina would ever want to go out with me if given the opportunity.  Come on, am I that bad?  I'd like to reiterate that to an extent I am an outcast in my family because of my personal preferences and what I beleive in.  Maybe it's not politically correct tolament about this on the board.  But I can say this much.  At family gatherings, from time to time I have to live with the "I told you so"'s regarding my past experiences, and the "Your stupid"'s, "Haven't you learned your lessons"', and "They all just want to get to the United States"' phrases.  I have my agates busted because certain family members (because my phone line is always busy when I'm on the internet) suspect I might be corresponding with a Filipina.

Don't slam me.  I have the right to be happy so long as I don't hurt anybody,just like everybody else.  Today, I feel like a semi-outcast by both my own circle and by some Planet Love characters.

Yes I am skeptical.  Should you expect me to jump into something blindly?  I think that is stupidity.

I know I'm different and so are alot of us males who post here.  But women are individuals too.  Although most may have common ideals, desires, expectations in a man, etc., they can have their personal preferences too.

I feel very strongly about the golddigger situation.  You know and I know it is very real.  I thought I was once very much loved, and then that same person treated me like garbage.  Well, I recovered.  The big lesson in life I learned is that a woman may seem to love you and cling to you for dear life one day, but then hate your guts the next.

I'm burning out trying to get the message across about whom and what I really am.  I know many regard me as scum or whatever, but so be it.  Just because a few people don't like me doesn't mean that absolutely everybody should disdain me.

I used to admire you, Jay, given the way you were in the past, transforming to your present self.  For the most part, I think I still like you.  I think I must have got your goat or some other misunderstanding.  We all have those days.

- Kevin

Ok, I'm home from work, completely exhausted, a bit cranky (excuse me), but determined to answer you. I've been thinking about it all evening. Without writing a novel, I will do my best to reply in full.

First off, let's get a couple of thing's straight on the record, incase I have not made myself clear. I resort to suggesting prayer only to close friend's and only if I think a situation is bordering on hopeless. Criselda and I have not "found God". We were both raised Catholic, but were not active church member's when we met, as you can imagine. We're still not. She has always lit candles on a little alter in whatever house she or we lived in, and still does. She has mentioned over time to me how her faith changed from believing in God, because that's the way she was raised, to REALLY believing based on her own experiences, since we met. She has what I call true faith now. As for me, I was about the same until I went to a penitentary in Texas at 18. By the time I walked out 2 1/2 yrs. later I had a deep understanding and belief. A personal relationship, if you will. Without getting to deep into it, I will say that twice in the Pen I was supposed to die there, but did not. Once a contract was put on me, and once a guy with 3 life sentences who was trying to get into permanant lock-up, decided I had wronged him, and killing me would allow him to spend the rest of his life doing time alone. In both cases, both parties had a last second change of heart. This happening in a prison setting would be strange happening once. Happening twice is impossible. In both cases I later learned that both parties had felt "the hand of God touch thier hearts". These instances happened about a year apart, and niether party new each other. Both the "Buyer" on the contract, and the lifer used the same word's,"the hand of God touch my heart". Both related this to me at later times. My hair stood on end when I heard it the socond time. These were killer's. They didn't play that "God BS", to use the word's of the lifer. I was convinced. So, no I haven't found God, and frankly I dislike the term. Sound's like BS jailhouse conversion to me.

My second point to get clear is about Criselda. Incase you forgot or anyone who has't heard or remember the story. I met Criselda in a bar in Angeles I managed. She quit the day I took over. A couple of days later I saw her again and we began talking. By the time we met, I had been cheated on and/or lied to by many Filipina's. I'm talking about the "nice" girl's, who wouldn't know a bar if they fell over one. They can be evil Beeaatch's as well. This began in high school. I also had been through this with AW's, so I felt no differently about them. I just felt they had a different way of BSing. I didn't trust women at all.

I went back to Angeles to bury a few ghost's I had left there. Also thought that I might find a decent woman there. I had before. Not ALL my girlfriend's in my life did me wrong, but alot did. I had no future, no plan's, just thought I would retire from punchin' a clock and spend my remaining days, getting all the sweet poontang I could afford, drink San Migoo's and do Filipino LSD till I dropped. The LSD didn't work out to well, because I found that I wasn't able to handle it quite as well as I could when younger. I kept getting "bad trip's", and making a fool aut of myself suddenly jumping up in public places like movies, bus's or jeepney's, slapping my face repeatedly and screaming, "HELP I'M DYING!!!. It got old quick, but the poontang and San Migoo's were going just fine. Anyway, I digress.

I knew a guy in Angeles I'll call John. This was shortly after i arrived. He was a really good guy from Australia. He had married a very popular young short time girl. EVERYONE knew her. One day me, John and a bar owner were drinking in the owner's bar. John say's to the owner, "T----, did I ever F--- your wife??". T--- says, "No John, I don't think so, why?". John says, "Well T---, you have F'ed mine, and I don't like it." T--- says, "Well John, I understand, but that's life in Angeles, you just got to deal with it." Nine days later after a big fight with his wife, who by the way,  really loved this guy, John walked into thier bedroom, locked the door, swallowed 300 Valium 10, drank a San Miguel, laid down and died.

My point is I didn't want to be John. I COULD NOT marry a hooker. Just couldn't handle it. Despite all my proof, how could I ever be sure at that time or the next couple of years till that doubt went away. Did she ever turn a trick? Don't look that way. Knowing what I know now I could'nt imagine it. So lets get that on the record. She had nothing to change her ways from.

Now, she still lied about some major issues. She had her whole family back up her lies too. First I though her daughters father had died in the Baguio earthquake. Also, before we were married I was to return to the US. My MOm was dying from cancer. I missed my flight out. All flight's were sold out for a while after that. I was about broke with no place to go. She took me to HER house. A fairly nice one I had paid for with all those "sexless, paid money to the bar, dates". SHE paid for averything from this time forward. Soon after I found myself in a personal situation which prevented me from leaving the RP, flight's or no flight's. I stayed 3 months. During this time I knew these people were not telling me something. I'm very intuitive. I found out after about two month's one thing she didn't tell me. One morning I am sitting in front of the house. I'm doing my usual morning wake up. Reading the paper drinking straight Tanduay ESQ. No ice, couldn't afford it often, wearing just my chinella's and Airwolf shorts. No underwear. These short's had legs so wide, anyone coming towards me  could see my "luggage" in all it's glory. Just couldn't hide it unless I closed my legs tightly. Criselda was washing clothes a few feet away in the yard. all of a sudden I hear the front gate opening, I look up and see a Filipino guy walk in, stop in his track's, look for  a second and turn around and walk out. I look at Criselda. She had just looked up for a second when he came in and then went back to the wash. I look at her and say, "who the F was that?". She says I don't know, like it was nothing. I go out and look down the street. I see him standing by a house just looking. I start walking over there and April is comming towards me. She can't speak a lick of English, but she understood it well enough. I ask her who he is, and she just walk's past with her head down, trying to avoid my gaze. Come to find out, this is Criselda's boyfriend. He lives in another town, He is a factory manager. Very well built and good looking. She had told him 3 month's before that they were through because she found out he had other girl's. That's why he didn't want April and Criselda to live with him. They had been together 3 years. He didn't really think they were broke up. Another thing I foud out later they were hiding was that her brother was on the run from the law. He was a bigtime bonafide gangster/killer. Public enemy #1 in Baguio even, His name was Romulo. A serious bad azz with a killin' problem. They didn't want me to know. actually, I met the guy and we got along great. He was just that though, a serious bad azz with a killin' problem. He was a bit physcopathic. However, I didn't like being lied to. All this caused me to obsess for years with doubt. Till I worked it out.

Now I'm only saying that I have been somewhat in your shoes as far as trust issue's go. NOBODY, hates you, is blasting you, suggesting you can't get a Filipina or any of that . I am just saying you must judge the next lady on her own merits. You MUST find a way. You MUST keep those thoughyt's to yourself, or a Filipina will have nothing to do with you romanticaly. My point in my words above is that these women may have issues that they will lie to you about in the begining for thier own reasons. You cannot expect 100% honesty up front. Not from a Filipina. They lie ALOT, kevin. Simple white lies even, just because they think you will not like it if they tell you the truth. They are real "people pleaser's". It's thier way.

Our marriage almost broke up many times in the begining because I was driving myself nuts. For example, when she would go to the store, I might ask how long she was there and with who. She might say 30 minutes, alone. I would find out later it was 1 1/2 hrs. with a Filipina I didn't care for, and to me that was a crisis. It was a lie and it drove me nut's. This lasted about the first 4-5 years of our marriage. This is what I meant by "drinking myself to death over little deceptions". That's because of the HUGE deceptions in the begining. I couldn't believe a word she said. Even, "I love you". I told her alot of the same stuff you say now about Filipina's. She was insulted bad. I was a monster. It was dark and deep. It get's inside you. I know, because I've been there. I'm LUCKY, REALLY LUCKY she's still here. I almost blew it, bigtime.

Sure there are goldiggers, and you must be aware. However, you can't let it destroy you or your chance for love with a Filipina. You are letting it destroy that chance, though. You have to work it out. Keep your mouth shut about it in the meantime. Probably too late now, but you might have gotten one of these Filipina's around here to hook you up. They ALL know somebody. Also stop thinking everyone is against you. Even Ray. He's a good guy, Kevin, you just got on his last nerve with that Sh1t. It's understandable.

Speaking of us being friends, (which I do consider us), you never let me off the hook on the fart rant I went on. I apologized profusely(sp?) 3 times, as recently as yesterday.  This is for you or anyone else who was offended because I seemed anti-fart.. GET OVER IT, PEOPLE. I got grossed out one morning, that's all. Isn't that the point of fart humor?? You should be laughing, not holding resentments towards me over it. Ya got me.

Anyway, I'm going to bed. I wouldn't post stuff this personal if I didn't care, Kevin. Best of luck to you, my friend.

Jay

I don't have time to spell check, so excuse my mistakes please.  

"You cannot expect 100% honesty up front. Not from a Filipina. They lie ALOT".

That's obviously wrong. LOL! Told ya I was tired. Sorry Ladies. :)

I should have said if you don't get 100% honesty up front, don't be shocked. In many cases you might run across a Filipina who tries to keep something that she thinks you won't understand. Like my wifes brother. Or a previous marriage. Sometimes you have to dig gently till you earn thier trust. Trust that your not going to hate them for it.

As for the little white lies, which I'm sorry if I Offend,
most if not all Filipina's I've met, do this at lest once in a while. They're really harmless, usually done to make you happier in some way. Got to trust them on that. Problem is If you have big trust issues like I did or you DO. The little lies can make you more distrusting. It's been mentioned here before.

gnight....

Jay

You aparently misunderstood some of my post. I will post a reply later as I don't have time now. Got to go to work. Your more than alright in my book, Kevin. Yaeh, ya got my goat a bit, but that was really a post trying to help, believe it or not. Talk to you later.

Jay

I think you've had a lot of hurt.

Because of this you've set up a lot of defenses.  You've got a set of tests that these ladies have to pass.  But your "tests" are so high that no one will probably be able to pass it.  They'll give up on you before you decide that you can open up and trust them.

I think you need to leave the past.  

Could you get taken again?  Yes.  There are no guarantees.  You just do what you can in life and play with the cards you've been given.  

I think Howard's a good example here.  He got burned.  But he got up and went forward.  You've got to do the same.  Howard thinks positive and goes forward.  You've dwell on your hurt and sit in the past.

NOW....could Howard get burned again?  YES.  (remember...no guarantees in life).  But his only hope is to go forward in life.

Kevin...you're not going forward.  You're standing in the past and hurting.  You won't get burned again....because you won't risk it.  You'll also be a very bitter guy.

Also think about this.  Maybe H gets burned again...but he's gonna be experiencing a lot of joy in life that you won't experience.    

I'm not saying this to pound on you.  I'm saying this to be an encouragement.  Go forward.  Take risk.  Grow.

One more thing....in your original response to Jay you said maybe you should try AW's or gays.  I don't think that's a good idea.  Filipinas are definately a lot more fun.  Trust me.

Stephen

Now that I have more spare time, I've stepped up the effort to cultivate new friendships with new Filipinas.  All I can do is cast my net and not sell myself short.  Although I may feel frustrated,lonely and yearning for affection at times, I'm not in a rush to get married.  I'm just going to make the effort to keep looking.

I'm used to the fact that certain family members will scorn me, try to discourage me, drill seeds of doubt, etc.  I don't care anymore.  I know what I want in life.

The same principle applies to those who try to put me down on this board by saying or implying that I'm not fit to share love with a Filipina.

What if the day comes when someday I make a special announcement?  That being abstractly, "I'm in love".  I'm sure some on this board would be very happy for me.  But I also know some would try to shoot me down because that's not what the real Kevin is supposed to be (or the traditional Kevin they knew who was their psychological plaything).

- Kevin

I get upset pretty easily also when I see events like many that have happened here.  Howard/Ayesa, Zebson/Helen, etc. But several things that appears to be common in all failed relationships is the unbelieveable stubborness at checking out things that are said, communicating your expectations and learning theirs, patience and an unwillingness to listen too and learn from others.  I was pretty close to making a mistake with Marichu (one of the girls I was almost involved with before Honey) but I observed what was going on and had a set plan and goals with certain characteristics to find and/or avoid.  I persisted and had a lot of luck and spiritual guidance and things have worked out wonderfully for me.  You can really do the same.

You have sent me lots of e-mails.  Quite a few have concerns about Helen and others.  And where as I think Helen's mistakes were the worst (more hurtfull of others) I still think Zebson caused most of his problems and did some really cruel things to Helen.  I simply broke up with Honey over a legal problem and got attacked for months (even after we got back together) but Helen was abandoned, cheated on and pretty much left to fend for herself (meaning not allowed to eat his food) once here America waiting on whether or not Zebson would marry her and no one has attacked him?! I have seen e-mails to other Filipinas during the period Helen and Zebson were supposed to be engaged, coming from Zebson.  So you think that Helen type Filipina might hurt you then I think you should just not treat one that bad and you'll be okay.

So, okay, a lot of you will think I am re-hashing/bashing Zebson.  No, I think what I am doing is trying to say most of the problems men have are caused by themselves.  In Zebson's favor I'll will admit that I know Helen had slept with at least 3 guys and had one child out of marriage before finally marrying the guys she has now.  That in itself would have ended it for me.  But the sad thing about it all is that she really did love Zebson, so much she gave up a scholarship to a college in England to come here and marry him even after he abandoned her in Bagiuo and cussed her out in front of her family and friends, and she found he had been e-mailing her best friend (he didn't know that she was her best friend).  So I think unless you plan on being like Zebson you can quit worrying about finding a girl like Helen - I hope you're not like that.

Bear and Honey

PS:  Zebson don't get mad, get glad (Honey's suggestion).

I understand where you're coming from and know first hand the size of your heart.  I will always feel that you are a step above many for what you did for me, no matter what the outcome.  Many would have turned their back, but you went FAR above and beyond the call of duty for a relative stranger.  Those who don't remember, should be reminded.

Your intentions are plain to see, but bringing up painful things in such great detail was just not necessary!  While your post, in it's intent, was fine. You crossed the line with rehashing some of the details.

Zeb has admitted that the mistakes were not all Helen's, let it go at that.  No one can heal if they keep getting old wounds open in public!

Keep the Faith

H

I for one do not like what Helen did - it is the thing that have caused so many people here real heartache.  But her motivations are clear - poverty and the fear of being caught in it.  What would you do in the same situation?  Zebson's are much more dispicable.  He is selfish to the point of completely "not caring" about anyone but himself - couldn't care less who he hurt as long as he stayed in control of his fears.  He needs psychiatric help.  And I don't want others complaining about how Helen cheated on him while he was trying to cheat on her.  The fact is he caused his own problems and hurt innocents along the way.

Bear and Honey

I think the answer to that is obvious.  I would NOT do what Helen Did.  Being hurt by someone does not give someone the right to do anything their heart desires in order to get even.  Poverty does not excuse it either.  Neither does immaturity, nor broken heartedness.

I have never seen Zeb claim total innocence.  Now I only see him trying to move on.  Without being him, no one can really know what was going through his mind at the time, nor what motivated him to do these "unforgivable" things, but we are not his judge and jury.  

Good intentions sometimes hurt more than help.  I was honestly trying to be ther voice of reason and just seemed to stir the embers of this post.  That was not my intent.  I can't recommend stongly enough the theraputic advantages to forgiveness.

I mean no disrespect.  I will just agree to disagree with you on this one.  I don't know everthing you know and don't think this is the place to find out.  The situation is now over and I think that the parties involved should be given the opportunity to heal without old wounds being opened and salt rubbed in them.

To err is human... to forgive is divine

Keep the Faith

H

Yeah, lets let the subject die but let it end with no high fives for abanding a girl in a strange land for something that didn't happen the way it was reported.  Right Zebson!

Bear and Honey

Is that what you think I am doing???  Slapping my boy Z a "high five" for putting his foot in Helen's butt?  You HAVE to know me better than that!  Do you think I am praising him for giving her some of her own medicine???  I am NOT!

I just don't see what purpose it serves to drag anyone--Helen or Zeb--through the mud when things are over and done with.  The only reason I didn't reply to Kevin's post on Helen was because everyone else was.  Frankly, knowing the kind of compassionate person you can be first hand, I was astonished at the venom that I saw in your post that started this never ending thread.

Things happen.  Good people get hurt.  But no one should be beyond forgiveness. Agreed?

Keep the Faith

H

You're easily misled.  Mark my words.  Helen sold you a line of BS in order to make herself look innocent.  But if you think you're on her good side, I could guarentee you, if it were possible and she could do it, she and her potential false witnesses would crucify and hang you in the divorce courtroom.  I don't mean to sound harsh.  But I beleive this is true.  I sincerely hope and pray that Honey is truly a sincere, loving, and caring woman, and in her heart, intends to spend the rest of her life with you and beyond.  A part of you is growing inside of her, hopefully because of nothing but the love you supposedly share with each other.

I'll emphasize it again.  Helen tried to capitalize on the image of a sweet, "innocent", sexy Filipina in order to get away with her wrongdoing.  She tried to make Zebson look like the rotten ogre.  And you fell for it.  I persnally think that Helen f****d with Zebson's head.  I may be wrong, but when a man loves a woman and she feels otherwise, she can really do a tune on him and destroy him spiritually.  And I'll say this again too.  If Zebson was such a jerk, and Helen was an innocent gal, she would have kept her pride and dignity, and simply moved on with her life.  She would not premeditate revenge through something like f*****g with immigration laws to the United States.  But it's exactly what she did.  Revenge or mastermind manipulation?  She was trying to set Zebson up just like Susdanna Blackwell was trying to set up Timothy Blackwell.  Fortunately Zebson got out of this thing with his dignity and welfare intact.  Timothy Blackwell didn't.

- Kevin

Uhhhhh how about Honey's greedy parents.  After all, they're just acting out of poverty and the fear of being caught in it.  So you can't really blame them for trying to con you out of every dime you have.  Bless their hearts!  What would you do in the same situation?

Perhaps your actions are much more dispicable.   Perhaps you and Honey are being selfish to the point of completely "not caring" about anyone but yourselves - couldn't care less who you hurt as long as he stayed in control of your fears.

What do you think about that argument?  Do you think you and Honey need psychiatric help?

I think this makes as much sense as your post condemning Zebson and acquiting Helen.

If you can't condemn Helen's actions because she acted out of fear of poverty then you can't condemn any woman who is a fraudulent, deceitful gold digger.

I can't fault Zeb for being shrewd enough to know what was going on and acting in his own behalf.

This issue was buried several months ago...we should let it rest.  It's not appropriate to have an "autopsy" performed here.

I'm really quite surprised at you and Honey on this one.

Stephen

Second, I am not defending Helen completely.  I said I wouldn't have wanted her either.  I said I understand her motives and beleive she did love Zebson or she would not have put up with such bull.  She did not need money, she was then and at the last time I saw her doing very well.  Why would she need to marry him for money or a green card if she had a scholarship for a Masters in England?

Lastly, I do not condemn Zebson for sending her home - I would have too, just not the way he did it.  But then she was stupid enuff to let it happen because he had been cruel to her many times before.  Yeah, we should all let the subject die but but I don't think it should be in "awe" for his techniques or methods as I have seen posted in the last few days.  Thats what tic'd me off.

Bear and Honey

- Kevin

But you see, Kevin, she was just afraid of poverty and being trapped by it.  Yeah, you'd have done the same thing wouldn't you.

LOL

Stephen

- Kevin

Actually, it makes the two of you look like busy-bodies, gossips, and trouble makers.  

Stephen

bear and Honey

We've yet to hear all of the gory details from Zebson, but we have certainly heard Helen's...who you yourself, have admitted can't be trusted. I thought that Zebson acted in a dignified manner throughout his posts on P-L on the matter. Much of the information was coaxed out of him by us on P-L. Only they and God know the true story.

Is Helen really an "innocent?" Then who caused the problems between Helen and Honey?

Poverty is just another lousy excuse to justify one's actions in my opinion. Prisons are full of people who use it. After making excuses my entire life, I no longer have respect for those that do. "What would you do in the same situation?" Well, I haven't been in the same situation, but I've had problems in my life before. After my marriage broke up, I was left many times without a peso. My kids, half of my retirement, my house, and vehicle were taken from me. I often missed meals and some days I didn't eat...not even rice. I didn't have a permanent place to stay for a few weeks. I rode a bicycle to work that I found in the friggin' trash. I told everyone that it was for exercise. I even slept in an empty drainage pipe a few nights. Eventually I moved in with a friend, when he discovered my plight. I dumpster dove to furnish the room. I dated a female dentist for a short while (my decision not to continue) who bragged that she made over $200,000 a year. But I never asked her to repair the broken teeth in my mouth, even when she offered to do so for free with gold crowns. I dated a scuba dive shop owner, but never took a penny. She drove a new Corvette and Expedition, but I refused her offer to borrow one of her cars or live in her 5 bedroom house. I guess I have a little self-respect and dignity. I never broke any laws that I know of. I never used or hurt others that I know of. I pulled myself up out of that ditch, worked several jobs, paid the ex's price and she gave me back the house and custody of my sons. I lost over $100,000, but I am now far happier and wealthier than I have ever been in my entire life.

Dave H.

Zeb :)

I never counted myself down and out, even when I didn't have a pot to piss in. I was fortunate that I had a very good job. But, most of my income was going someplace else for while, to maintain the ex's lifestyle. You can imagine how much I enjoyed pay raises. I always had a place that I could stay, I was just too proud and embarrassed to ask. I lived for a time in my office at the fire station. I got up very early so that no one would know it. They only found out when I caught them breaking in one night to steal the answers to some tests. One of my friends was living in his red 1953 pickup behind the fire station. :o) I eventually moved in with one of my best friends when his roomate moved out. I can't say that there weren't many dark hours, but my love for my kids got me through. The hardest part was being separated from them...the rest was easy. Like my grandmother used to say when I was a kid..."Just pretend you're camping."

Dave H.

Bear and Honey

I have never directed anger towards you, in making assesments like what you did with the statement: "He needs psychiatric help." That's way over the top. You may have been a priest, counselor or whatever before, but now your showing some real charm in a put down that comes from assumptions of information you have gotten as a third party to a previous relationship. If you ask me your showing your true colors now. I have made the statements about my problematic inconsitencies and errors, (sins if,if it makes you feel better) but have you completely forgot about the word "Forgiveness" apparently toward others. I thought after all that was one of the strongest motivational factors that Christians were about. And lately you don't seem to be exibiting much of it. I have let this go, and moved on in a heart of forgiveness to Helen and also toward my own inadequancies, but it seems you wont.

Zeb :)

- Kevin

Bear and Honey

You sucker! Unless you were a gossipy little, "21 yr. old, spoiled rotton by her husband Filipina", before you met Marrissa, this has got to be her making you act this way. I've seen a thousand just like ya, boy. Is she chewing your ear off with this nonsense? I'll bet she is. Got you all wired up. Got you defending a cheating Filipina. Making a fool of your self. I'll bet she wasn't satisfied with your reply to my post, and my reply to her's. Still want's you to stick up for her friend. Got you thinkin' it was your idea. THAT'S what's scary about Filipina's, thay can manipulate the HELL out o' ya! Anyone of 'em, if your a SUCKER! I'm sure you'll say this is all you, but I KNOW better. ROTFLMAO AT YOU!!! FOOL!

When you posted about your little Fil-Am group in Houston, I like to died! Reason being, I said to myself when you got Marrissa here, "Lord, I hope he doesn't run into the stateside commando's". Well, ya walked right into it! Funny thing is, your LOVIN' it! You just haven't got a clue, BOY!!

Remember, I lived in Houston too. I'll bet we even know a couple of the same people.

You think you got yourself a winner and guys like your good buddy Howard, just weren't smart enough, don't you? You didn't say that but, Oh, I KNOW I'm right. I've seen your type before, ol' Hoss. Your what a Filipina Goldigger dreams of.

You need to check yourself quick! You better hope Marrissa doesn't like "party,party" too much, 'cause if she do, after that kid is born, your in for a nightmare! I just got through witnessing it up close with other couples in Houston. From all you have ever said of Marrissa, I've seen her type too. Many times. Ever wonder that her friend's were Vivian and Helen? Bet you believe they weren't friend's, right! LOL! Oh, Boy!

Let me cut you off at the pass. It's true, I was a drunk,  am an ex con, and my wife worked in a bar in Angeles. That's about all you could have insulted me with, so now it won't pizz me off when you say it.

Leave Zeb the hell alone! As thing's stand now, you ain't worthy to hold any priesthood. Even a Mormon one.

Jay

Bear is naive and trusting.  That's why he beleived Helen's "innocense".  Once upon a time my ex-wife used to praise me about how fortunate she was to marry a "nice guy foreigner" like myself.  After all, so many tales circulate in the Philippines about how bad Americans and other white men are because they "import Filipinas" and kill them to collect on life insurance policies.  Then the tales of body parts being dumped on the side of a highway.  I have yet to learn of such a thing really happening.  Frankly, I think it's a generally accepted alibi for those gals in the Philippines contemplating marriage to "G.I. Joes" for less than honorable reasons.  I have a friend, married to a pinay long term, who told me that most of such gory tales route to bizarre tactics that subversive pinays tried to pull and the jilted "lovers" reacted adversely.  On the other side of the coin, if I tried to sleep with another man's wife, whom I found to be very beautiful, and I succeeded at it, my body might be found in the street mutilated into pieces.  I know better than to court a married woman and ruin another man's life shall I want to live.

Well, as a vet from the Air Force drilled into me (my mechanic, a trusted mechanic) you think Filipinos are nice, warm and hospitable people.  But he emphasized "That's what you think."  He tried to impart on me that Filipinos are crafty materminds, lie, cheat and cannot be trusted.  He was in the Philippines in the early 1970's.  His ex-wife was a Filipina and two-timed him big time.  He's a mechanic who owns his shop who lives near me.  Mechanics are another group of people that generally can not be trusted.  But this guy is a local mechanic where mutual trust was built over time because of shared personal adversities.  He told me after the divorce when inquiring about finding a good Filipina; his reaction:  "Kevin, THEY'RE ALL LIKE THAT!  Go White instead of Brown!".  My only problem with that is that I'm far more attracted to Filipina women than I am to any white-skinned woman.  This guy's second wife is white; a dark skinned southern-European looking woman.

- Kevin

I said,

"THAT'S what's scary about Filipina's, thay can manipulate the HELL out o' ya! Anyone of 'em, if your a SUCKER!"

That's not nesessarily a bad thing. I find it kind of challenging. And with Criselda it's even a bit sexy to me.

Maybe I should have said, they are very "seductive". :)

Jay

Bear is not "naive and trusting", he's the kind of guy who think's he's smarter than all his fellow's. THAT'S why he is an easy mark. His own ego get's him in trouble.

Jay

What miffed me enough to even make me want to comment, was the one about me cussing out Helens family or parents WOW!!! Now that's a new angle on revenge, I am sure will stir everyone up..Please none of that extra stuff rings true. Either that or maybe I lived my life in dilussions. Ok, I am done. Believe what you wish.

Zeb :)

Don't sweat this man. He's got it all figured out.;D

So much for the Spirit of Texas! :(

Jay

Jay didn’t say that no good Filipina would ever want to go out with you if given the opportunity. I believe what he was trying to tell you is that the ones who have been reading your messages here would probably not be interested. Why? Because of the hatred that comes through load and clear in some of your posts. For example, it seems that you are harboring a deep hatred for Zeb’s “ex” (whom you don’t even know personally) when he has already put it behind him and moved on with his life. That’s not healthy Kevin.

I think what Jay said was meant in the spirit of wanting to help. If you surround yourself with friends that will only tell you what you want to hear, then you’re not doing yourself any favors. You don’t have to act upon anyone else’s advice, but it wouldn’t hurt to at least listen, would it?

Peace,

Ray

- Kevin

if I followed your advice, and I think it seems you want me to do that, I'd just fold the cards, throw in the towel and give up on life PERIOD!

STEHEN:

In effect, your currentl path is folding the cards, throwing in the towel and giving up on life PERIOD.

I'm saying follow the example of Howard and agressively go forward.  

Don't you think Howard got a bad deal with his ex?  But you don't hear him talking about it.  He's to excited about what he's got today.  Why not try that approach.

One last question:  Who's enjoying life more....kevin or howard?

Stephen

I was pretty much in an upbeat mood until I was put down; kicked in a soft spot.  How did this all start?  Me stating how I felt about Helen.  Yes my sentiment was passionate.  Why?  Because that sort of thing is very salient.  I've had a similar experience in the past.

I don't like bank robbers either.  But robbing banks, to me is just the kind of stuff I'm used to hearing of in the news.  But suppose I was standing in line at the bank, and a disgruntled or belligerent bank robber comes in and starts randomly firing off bullets, and I was fortutate enough to survive such a carnage. I'd be much more sensitive to the subject of bank robberies.

I think my life is improving quite a bit for the most part.  I had a big setback with this board, some negative ideas certain folks are trying to impart in my head.  With my comments to the post before yours, I was sabotaging myself.  But part of me keeps kicking inside, and the f*** with anybody else who tries to keep me down.

No I have not found the love of my life yet.  I'm opening myself up more.  I've got to be patient.  (Well, if I were to follow Ray's advice like a good boy, I'd give up that persuit.)  I know what I face when it comes to sending introductory courtship letters to the Philippines.  Bear this in mind.  A trusted Filipino friend advised me that about 75% of pinays that place personals are only interested in getting to the United States or economic gain, and he's apprehensive about relying on that method to find a good gal.

At times, when I see a girl I'm attracted to (for example a petit, dark southeast Asian woman at Wal-Mart), it is very frustrating.  I must admit I am yearning for someone in my life I can give my total heart and trust to, who will do the same.  But the best things in life never come easy.

I'm very happy for Howard.  I think it's mere coincidence about timing, but given his circumstances (first the Ayesa saga and then his mother's death), I'm sure God was looking out for him. I think Gerlie coming into his life could not have happened at a better time.

- Kevin

Jay

I felt very strongly toward her from the begining and that troubled me, because I wasn't sure if it was her or my situation.  (Rebound, and I ain't talking hoops!)  After much thought, and healthy discussion with her, I realized that I didn't care why I felt the way I did.  It felt good to feel the way I do when I am hanging with her.  It was a pleasent change from the way I was feeling at the time--See; Self Pity--so I went with it.  I couldn't, nor would I!, deny the feelings that I felt for her.  What was important was that I was feeling them :)

Honestly, I had many doubts about Ayesa, but was too brainwashed--"Cultural Differences"--and proud--foolishly--to give them any validity until I was left with no alternative but to do so.  I'd probably be still married and, no doubt, miserable, if she didn't have the balls to say "ENOUGH!"  She's no innocent in any of this, but she did me a favor.  I never, ever, not in the most perfect scenario in the WORLD, could have had the open, honest, humorous, utot laiden :P, INCREDIBLE friendship I have now with my best buddy--Ummmmmmm that's YOU Mrs. Medium Size Petunia ;)  LOL--Gerlie without everything happening the way it did.  

My best friend once asked me, "Dude, who shuts the light off when you close the refrigerator?.." JUST KIDDING!!!  LOL  Seriously, he asked, "If you knew ahead of time what you would have to go through, but you knew that you would end up with Gerlie in the end... Would you go through it all again?"  Yep, I would :)  Every moment of frustration, anger, betrayal, etc... was worth it to be where I am now.

Of course, if you can avoid it and just end up where I am, I HIGHLY recommend that path :P  LOL

Keep the Faith, I have more to say, but have an appointment :(

I'm sure you'll be waiting with baithed breath :P

LOL

H

I was only trying to get through to you that Jay is not your enemy.

Ray

Steveb

Anyway, mostly I wanted to point out the truth behind what I think Jay is relating also Kevin, is that at some point you have to begin to trust again if your going to build any type of substantially worth while relationship, regardless of what kind of Sh!t you have been through. Sure I was angry and hated Helen for a while, sure I didn't understand her behavior, but hey it's all over. Guilt sure I felt it, not so much now cause I let it go. As I have gotten older I am really trying to despence of the some of that retalitory anger that I used to have, cause it gets me no where. And especially I honestly think if your going to continue trying to find that soulmate with a Filipina you have to also see each person as unique. And sure sometimes that may take a long long time, but it doesn't help when you reinforce it with seeds of anger and resentment either subtley or not so, over the long haul it will tear you apart inside if you don't let go..I am no expert, but I do know that much.

Zeb :)

Hi Zeb,

 I know what you mean about "decreasing your freedoms" and the feelings that can go with it. Your line above is what I meant by "it won't fly" or that "it will make them nutty". You said it best.

Also, you got my post EXACTLY. Your last line says it all. Thanks for your understanding. I hope kevin will get it.

Jay

Zeb

You can reply to jsgershom@aol.com. That should work better. That military.com mail sometimes is screwy.

Jay

So anyways, this means he'll be home on the 15th. I can't wait. He needs a spanking real bad and I'm in the mood to gi9ve it ;-)

Start warming up your spankin' hand. I hear hitting hot sand, like the karate training regimen, will let you get some power behind those smacks! =8oO

-- Jeff S.

We need to have a reunion week.

We have all the folks who have been here in the last 5 years to visit for one week.  I mean all the folks who have been banned will be allowed to come back for just one week and we'll have a glory hallelujah pig wrestling contest.

We'll have Hound Dog, Harry, Max, LarryS, CC, etc.  We'll have Jean and Hum squaring off.  Thank about that.  WHAT A WEEK.

It could begin at midnight on Sumday and end the next Sunday night.  One week of pure cyber-terrorism on the Asian Board.

It's a great idea.  The only reason Patrick may not allow it is because he's jealous that he didn't think of it first.  LOL

Stephen

You're sick! ---but I like the idea :O)  Don't forget Westerngrrl and Asian Girl.

Make sure Ray isn't on vacation that week, otherwise we're going to know what it felt like at Little Big Horn, Dien Bien Phu or Lang Vei! ..."Skipper we got TANKS in the wire!"
Then again, Ray might blow a gasket with all those trolls -LOL

Jim

- Kevin

Dave H.

Dear Sirs:

I have the solution for the prevention of hijackings, and at the same time getting our airline industry back on its feet. Since men of the Muslim religion are not allowed to look at naked women we should replace all of our female flight attendants with strippers.

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing such a woman and of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again in hope of seeing such a woman.

We would have no more hijackings, and the airline industry would have record sales. Now why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Sincerely,

Bill Clinton

"ad·vice
Pronunciation: &d-'vIs
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French avis opinion, probably from the phrase ce m'est a vis that appears to me, part translation of Latin mihi visum est it seemed so to me, I decided
Date: 14th century
1 : recommendation regarding a decision or course of conduct : COUNSEL
2 : information or notice given -- usually used in plural
3 : an official notice concerning a business transaction"

I think as "advice" is given on P-L, the first definition fits best. "A "recommendation" regarding a decision or course of conduct." Most people mean well. People's "advice" is usually based on their experiences and/or knowlege. It is an "opinion," not a "command" for someone to follow. The person seeking "advice" is free to make their own decision, to accept or discard the advice given and is ultimately responsible for their own actions. There is usually more than one point of view on P-L. The seeker has several options to consider, if they so CHOOSE to do so. All "advice" on P-L is FREE! So remember, you get what you pay for.

Dave H.

I never could understand why a few people take all of this stuff so seriously, to the point of losing sleep over it. When another member tells of a serious problem in his or her relationship, whether they ask for advice or not, a lot of others will invariably attempt to help by offering their advice or counsel, like you said, based on their own ideas or experiences. There are usually always going to be some differences of opinion when this happens.

Just because one feels strongly about his opinions, that doesn’t make his advice any more correct than the other guy’s. When you proclaim your advice to be the ultimate “truth” and call others irresponsible because their advice and opinions don’t fall in line with yours, then you’re just putting yourself up on a pedestal. To try to blame someone for another reader’s misfortunes, simply because you don’t feel that he gave the “proper” advice, is even more ridiculous. I agree with you that the reader has the ultimate responsibility to make his own decisions regardless of what “Free” advice he got from this forum.

Feeling sympathy or compassion for another guy’s situation is good, but if you’re still fuming inside many months or years later because someone else didn’t give him the “correct” advice at the time, then something is wrong with you IMHO.

Ray

Humabdos is about to go on the war path!

Humabdos

Humados

At least that's the way I understand it.

BUT....I never got any notive of approval letter from the INS.  I submitted my documents on 6-5-00 and I finally thought they had lost my stuff.  I would call and get the run-around.  (Don't kid yourself.  Those folks on the other end of the INS line are not there to help you.  They are there to keep you away from their office.)  Then on 9-9-00 Tess called and said that she got her notificaiton letter for an appointment.  So even though I never heard from the INS I knew that it must be okay.

Hang in there.

Stephen

But about the warpath. Me get-um tribe together, we go and sack INS and scalp-um many bureaucrats. We follow you. Heck the people at INS are taking advantage of their positions after 9/11. They were proved to be incompetent before, and now they can really be obstructionists and call it patriotism. A little hair lifting may be just what is needed. ;-)

Seriously, congressmen/women are the way to go. There are only two senators for the whole state. They can't get involved in mundane problems (I know, but the wolf always howls a lot louder at your own door). Congressmen/women on the other hand have a smaller voter base and can afford to pay alot more attention to it. Plus they are up for reelection much more often. It is basically the way the system was designed. Some senators take a great interest in one area of voter aid, their special peeves with the bureaucracy, as it were. Your senators aren't all that interested in INS and foreign brides. Plus you aren't waving $100,000 in their faces for soft PAC money, either. If you were I can guarantee you'd get not just a letter but a personal call. I contribute to my party, and my letters are always answered. Fair? Nope; but I have learned how to milk the system. I don't have $100 large to pass around, but I contribute enough so that they don't want to see it go somewhere else. After all, they don't want to see me in full dress uniform with all medals on display, passing a check to the other party at some function or another with newspeople there to record and report the event. Not that I really would, but the possibility is enough.

I suggest that in the future you pay a little attention to your local political party. Local politicos carry some weight with state politicos who cary weight with federal congresspersons. My local friend, Mr. Mayor is on very good terms with the state party organization. He can get answers for me sometimes faster than I can get them myself. Vicky had a green card in record time. Will I use political pull when necessary? You darn straight I will. Plus some people in the US State Department owed me big favors. I had no pull at the INS, personally, but my congressman sits (sat, rather) on the committee that oversees the INS. I had just helped him with his campaign in one or two small matters, along with Mr. Mayor, in our area. We anchored our end of the district, basically. So he was in a good and affable mood when I approached him about a small problem I had at the INS. You see, people who actually WORK for the party get sometimes more help than those who merely sign checks. If you hustle for your congressman in your area, doing the sort of scut work that is expensive to hire done, he/she saves money and they are grateful. If you do a really bang-up job, and get the reputation as a person they can call when things get hairy (a go-to guy in football), you can ask the occasional pretty heavy favor. People who are willing to work hard for their party are gold and the solons know it.

Don

Good comments about the INS.
I did vote thats about all the involvement in want with them ummm bass turds.  I just went a round with Oregon Dept of Revenue over an audit that was setteled in 1996! They tried to make me pay twice money I never owed in the first place!  I love my country but fear the government!
You should have seen me rant and rave at their office after they made me dig through seven year old paper work to find the canceled check! I wanted to ram it up their igot igot! lol  (yes I found it)

As far as scalping bureaucrats do you preferr a tomahawk or filipino style with a bolo?

Humabdos

They are stronger than your WW sweets and much stronger than vidalias. They are really great on sandwiches, especially hamburgers and coldcuts, where you want a lot of flavor. I prefer them for making onion rings over sweeter varieties. Most folks cream sweeter onions like vidalias and your ww's. Mom is a certified graduate of the Cordon Bleu of New Orleans, so she takes liberties with stronger flavors.

Actually, you scalp with a knife, not an otumnahawk. Oh, you could do it with the hatchet, but it is easier with the knife. It is a special knife with a thinner blade, back to belly, than a regular working or bowie knife. The otumnahawk is used to count coupe, and/or as a killing instrument on the back or side of the neck (spine and jugular veins/carotid arteries), and for slashes to the belly. Of course it is also used as a chopping tool. It is unweildy for skinning or scalping.

Don

--Jeff S.

Tell them she wants to learn how to fly planes into buildings and she will be here in a few weeks.

Dave H.

Steveb

Bear and Honey

About the only good I've heard of a senator in these matters is of Bob Graham of Florida. Outside Florida, the congressman is the way to go.

Dave H.

LarryS used to quote Dr. Laura alot and preach "taking a self-assessment and fixing yourself" before starting on a search for a life-mate (from overseas or at home). IMHO, he had a great affect here at PL, influencing everyone from me to old Houndog (once infamous poster on the Latin board). In the years since I first read his long posts here, I've thought about his words and realize they really are true.

The last news I had about Larry was that he moved in with an AW much younger than himself. I believe her name was Lietta and she posted here a couple of times. I was suprised about his decision to do this, and Larry himself was too. But he was going with his heart. He related some business difficulties he was starting to have, and then he stopped posting here completely.

Anyway, I was just curious if any of you remember him, his message, and have ever realized the importance of it. It's just a shame we can't have some of his great posts in the archives. They were real beauties that contained great advice for everyone, newbies and vets.

Regards, Tim

LarryS did have some good things to say, but whether they were original to him or whether he was repackaging others is a mystery that was not solved.

Irregardless, what he said was valuable. You must know thyself first. Analyze what you are doing and why, and is that reason sufficient to support the action? Some people go from one vapid relationship to another, each failure's baggage helping to doom the next. Living down to their expectations, as it were. What is the saying...a victory of hope over history?

It would be sad if LarryS did not break the cycle of disappointment in his own life after giving good advice to others. Hopefully he is happy wherever he may be. I certainly wish it for him.

I personally had to do some very deep inner searching before embarking on the search that led me to Vicky. I am a hopeless romantic, when you get right down to it. I like to romance my women, and I like them to appreciate it. I found by almost being "caught", twice, that this can be a fault in a man. I cannot help being what I am, a bit of a schitzo. In action I am cold, precise, ruthless and efficient. In love I tend to give my heart unconditionally, and have had it chewed up as a result. Now it is safe in Vicky's care, thank the Great Spirit. But I had to look deep and see if I could live any other way. The answer was no. Either live and love fully or remain alone. Neck or nothing. So I set my compass as I have said in the archives, and wound up where I am now.

LarryS's posts did have an impact on me, as in '98 I was in courtship mode, and he made me stop and reevaluate my motives and reasons. This was good, as when Vicky and I decided we were made for each other, I was convinced it was for all the right reasons and there was no doubt, no lingering troubles to vex us. Thank you, LarryS.

But much of my current happiness also lays in your court, my friend. Both here and in private emails, your story with Wendy has been inspirational to Vicky and myself. It has also been a source of strength when my wife and I were separated due to 9/11 for so long. Thank YOU, my friend. You underestimate the effect you have on this board and on the many people who read it (many more than ever post here). You are always a fund of knowledge and the voice of reason. Your creation of the Chinese-American forum is I am sure a blessing to those seeking Chnese spouses. A place where they can go for real information and advice from those who have had experience specifically with China and its people.

So cheers to you as well.

Don

Yes, I remember a couple of Larry's posts and I found them thought provoking.  He was leaving just as I was coming on.  There is great merit to his "self-assessment and fixing" advice, I believe, and strangely enough the foreign-bride persuit seems uniquely suited to this assessment process because of the long separations; they allow the process to take place in the early stages of a relationship.  And this is helpful because to do it beforehand is to do it alone, without the mirror provided by another person, exposing faults that may otherwise remain undetected.

When I started, before the first meeting, I asked myself why I was doing this and the answer was as simple as "because I'm lonely and I want to share my life with someone."  Later, home again after the first meeting, I could see that this wasn't going to be easy, there would be special challenges, and I was asking myself "What will I have to do to make this work?  Am I willing to do what it takes to make it work?  Can I put some of my wants and needs aside in order to fufill her wants and needs?"  In short, was I willing to commit to success?  (Jeff will appreciate that line :o))

Home again after the second meeting, engaged, and having experienced our first disagreements, I had more things to look at within myself - my actions, my reactions.  This was a woman who did not consider a raised voice a small matter, something to get over quickly.  This was a woman who wouldn't tolerate a casual curse, even if mumbled to myself after an encounter with a rude, very rude serviceperson on a sweltering and stressful day in an unfamiliar foreign land.  For her well being I would have to make some changes.

She liked cities; she would not want to spend many vacations camping in the mountains.  She would not want to go to the beach, at least not to lie around in the sun.  She would not want to sit in a bar (luckily for me since I don't do that anymore either).  She would need my support in helping her family.  She would want to visit with my family more often than I cared to do it.

Compromise was required on her part too.  She needed to understand, and allow for, my tendency to be a grump in the morning (I need 30 minutes to square myself away without questions or decisions to be made before I take on the problems of the day).  And she needed to understand my need for solitude occasionally.

So now, I've taken her to NYC 3 times, DC, Montreal, Quebec City, Niagara Falls, Newport RI, Las Vegas, back to Manila and Hongkong 2 times, Boston countless times... and I need to make plans for Paris -LOL!  I like cities now, after having avoided them most of my life (heck, I even like Manila :-)).  We've not gone camping, and hiked together only once.  But she gives me almost unlimited diving time in the PI, with little trouble.

I think the assessment is part of the journey - a good and necessary part.  In finding the bride you end up finding more of yourself.  As Alice would say in Wonderland, "Curiouser and Curiouser!"

Jim

- Kevin

It would be a first for Sally.  I'll see what she thinks.  In general, she doesn't understand the appeal of camping in the woods - probably because she spent so many summers living halfway up Mt. Hibok-Hibok at her grandfather's farm in the jungle :O)

Jim

steveb

His posts were common sense and responsibility (as I remember).  He was a nice guy.

You know, I think of him at least once a month and wonder what happened to him.  I knew he got married.  Shortly after that he stopped posting.  (Seems like he quit posting on the Asian board and went over to the Latin Board.  He seemed to strike up a friendship with Hounddog.  I didn't think it was possible for Hounddog to have any friends.)

Also, I was reading on the Latin Board recently and there was a chain about Hounddog being separated from his wife now.  One of the posters said that Hounddog got married in San Antonio and that Larry S was at the wedding.  I believe Larry lived in Dallas and his new wife was from Kentucky.

I keep hoping that Larry will stop by and say "Howdy" to us.

Thanks for the post.  And thanks Tim for keeping in touch with your friends over here.

Stephen

PS.  Does anyone remember a poster named "MAX".  No, I don't hope he'll check back in.  Remember what a troll he was.

Nathan

I put an inquiry about LarryS on the Latin board, you can read more responses there.

Regards, Tim

I think it's obvious that if you treat others on the board with such contempt and hatred YOUR GOING TO TREAT YOUR SPOUSE THE SAME WAY.

That doesn't seem to soak through to a lot of folks.

Did you realize that HD had gone through 2 or 3 other latina wives previously (that's my recollection anyway.)

Stephen

Yeah...perhaps I had no business on this board but it was always fun to read the stories and the trip reports. I've seen people come and go here the past several years. The guys I liked the most here were MadMal and Tim. I think those two guys influenced me the most out of everyone on this board...real, genuine, level headed dudes. I joined Tims board awhile back so that is where I will be from now on. Many of you guys believe I am dirty s.o.b. but actually if any of you were in trouble, you would find me to be a steadfast ally. But like many people, I really find it distasteful when I see someone constantly barraging another over his/her opinion like they solely occupy some sort of moral high ground. Right or wrong...It really ticks me off. When I confronted Ray...I did so because I percieved Ray was verbally assaulting Greg. It wasn't the first time I had witnessed Ray doing that to someone on this board. I usually never get into it with anyone here but at some point someone needed to say something to him. I was just fed up with his self righteous, religious far right horse hockey. The advice he gave Howard months ago about Ayesa...man oh man...totally Bugs Bunny defined! (just my opinion). I know I am pretty fouled mouthed in a fight so apologies for all that for all the good it will do. Most of the low borns here will jeer, say good riddance and insult this post after I'm gone and all that but they can go ahead...they will only prove to the others reading it that they are exactly what I said they were...and, of course, the attempt will be useless because their posts will only fall on deaf ears. Simply put, I will not come back to read it. And don't believe I am leaving because the low borns ran me off...they didn't. I am leaving because I chose to. I realized after that fight that I really don't have any business here at this is Phils oriented board. I discovered what I needed to....that the Phils and the women there are not for me. You guys actually saved me from Howards and the others fate. Thanks for that. Also...Tim is right....there is very little accurate and constructive information on this board about China. I have been in the wrong place. It's been fun...later...much later....

I can understand why you feel the way you do about the board members.  This is not an information forum but a buddy forum or a personal opinion forum for the husbands of Filipinas.  The forum has certaily loss it's past merit and no longer has any value.

Alvin

I have noticed (wonder if y'all have) that most of the ladies who posted here stopped!  It seems they got their fellings hurt more than once and the last one (hassle on M-A that migrated here) caused them all to agree to stop posting here.  (i.e. May_10, Carrisse, etc.)

I am a pretty easy guy to get along with.  Most insults go right over my head and I don't read posts about things I don't agree with or appear to be inappropriate.  I'll debate with anyone and have had some real burners with a few of you especially when I broke up with Honey because I was afraid legal problems would hurt her.  Although I admit I am stiff-necked and stubborn occasionally someones comments do make me change my mind, well make that rarely.  Our experiences make us see truths differently and it is good to occasionally walk around in someone elses shoes seeing it the way they do - it helps us grow and be more compassionate and understanding to others.  

Still it wouldn't hurt if some of you would tone down the critisms to something more like "I don't agree" leaving off the "stupid".

Bear and Honey

NNP

Any posts from Mars will be ignored.

Dear Dave H, Jimbo, Greg, Jay, Stephen, & The Walker,
Sorry for my late reply! I've been busy here at home because my dear hubby is always out of town so I have to take care of everything, I even have to mow our yard & dump our trash now but I enjoy doing it though! Anyway, I wanted to Thank You all for your kind words and for making me feel welcome in the Board. ;)

Thanks,
NNP

- Kevin

Hi Kevin,
Hope all is well with you.
that was funny and a good suggestion too!:D

NNP

Thank You all for your kind words & for making me feel welcome in this Web Forum!

Thanks,
NNP

Yet in other ways she writes excellent English, superior to most Americans.

Hang with it. You write better than many native-born Americans and your differences add an exotic flavor to your prose.

You are surely not brain dead.

Don

I'm glad you're here.  Hope you'll stay and share with us.

Stephen & Tess

Did he say that?? I must have missed it or I would have said something. Good for you for not letting it run you off.

Jay

Jim

I sure no one thinks you're "brain dead," including the person who said it. Far from it!!! Hopefully, his Chinese pen pal won't know the meaning of the word when he uses it on her.

Dave H.

I want to emphasize this,although I must qualify my statement on the premise that I wasn't 100% witness to the events.  Vivian and Helen come to mind.  It's a disgrace that anybody would approve or support their actions.  Zebson's life was nearly ruined.  Yet somebody scorns Zebson as being posessive, etc. when he was suspicios that something fishy was going on.  Well, he sure did have the right to be suspicious and it sure is a good thing he did not ignore it.

- Kevin

Bear and Honey

I don't know, old buddy. Your post's about Zeb when you were in the Philippines talking to Helen (and VIVIAN?!), were about the most self absorbed, tacky nonsense I have ever seen on this board. I remember it well, because I was shocked. Your sitting there in Manila buying her and the entourage Lapu-Lapu or whatever, she's feeding you all this BS, and you post it on this board like it's Gospel. All I could think at the time was, "what a sucker!". YOU don't know what happened and to pretend you do is just plain wrong, IMHO. I think you still owe the man an apology.

Jay

Still there was a lot never said on his part that made her look legit for a while but then her "exaggerations" didn't hold together either.  The thing that made it hard to understand was that one girl I really respected (and still do)lied big time for her.  Threw me off.  Still not sure about her statements?  Just they seem so improbable.  About a week after I got home the lie unraveled and I did apologize.  But...there were a lot of things. Oh well, lets not rehash.

BTW I do not know Vivian, never have and never supported her.

Bear and Honey

Sorry, I thought you had said you had met Vivian.

Your right, let's not rehash it. Let's just pray ol' Zeb never has to go through anything like this again. Thanks for being cool about my post. THAT'S what I refer to as the "Spirit of Texas". I'm getting tired of arguing with folk's on the  computer. LOL!

Jay

I haven't heard from Vivian for quite a while.  I wonder about what she's doing now....what she's doing.....who she's doing.  (Inquiring minds want to know that stuff.)

Tell you what.  Next time you're in Manila s'pose you look her up.  Then call SteveB and get the two of them together on the phone.

Ohhhhh....that would be a story to tell us.

LOL

Stephen

Stephen

Thanks,,,,I did very well,,,juliet is a saint and a wonderful wife,,,I just told her this has been the best year of my life.....

Steveb

Bear

- Kevin

I respect and admire the way Zeb handled the situation with Helen. I don't think I would have kept my cool. He admitted that he was far from perfect. If Helen wanted to post her side, she could have. I will never believe that she was a regular Florence Nightingale, nursing the sick in hotel rooms. It's important to remember that there are "two faces to every liar!" Many even start to believe their own lies.

Dave H.  

regular Florence Nightingale, nursing the sick in hotel rooms.

STEPHEN:

well Dave....

The young lady dressed in a nurses outfit seems to be quite a popular pictoral setting for the Asian Lady internet sights....even more popular than cat fighting.

I....uhhhhhh....don't know this personally, but I've been told that's true.

Stephen

Just as long as it isn't a young lady dressed in a school girl uniform going into the hotel room, it is probably alright. ;o) So I've been...ahhh...told also. My mud wrestling and cat fighting days are over. :o)))

Dave H.

Me too. His heart must have been broken, as well as feeling betrayed. He had 2 years invested in her, if I recall.

I've been dealing with Filipina's most of my life. Including the lying, cheating kind. I could smell the BS trough the computer. I've just heard it all before.

Jay

Dave H.

That's a good one! I like Peru Quechua language best. "AHH CHA CHA!".

Jay

I've had Peruvian patients, but I can't say that I ever heard that one before. My next door neighbor is from Peru. I think I'll pinch her tomorrow and see what sound she makes. :o))) I'll let you know.

Dave H.

Pinch her twice, just to make sure they say it everytime! :)

Jay

Dave H.

Jim

Zeb

I was married for 12 1/2 years and never got an apology. I finally quit waiting for it and forgave the ex in my mind. It takes some time and then a patient woman to help you heal. Things sometimes come out subconsciously and it's tough on the new lady. In the begining of our relationship, I heard "I'm not your ex" from my wife a few times. I've  learned to trust more every day and to keep my deja vu in check. Funny how something will occasionally trigger a bad memory. I don't say anything and then my wife acts in a completely different (appropriate) manner than I half-expected. She has also learned not to take everything so personal. Good Luck!

Dave H.

After reading that archive, I must say that it sounds like you may have screwed up, with that can't commit stuff. I don't think Filipina's are used to that. Sound's like you were going through something emotional. I know from experience that Filipina's generaly aren't used to too much emotion from thier men, and they're really shocked when it comes from a Kano. It makes them kind of nutty, they don't know what to make of it. It can also make them think your nutty, too. It's not the Filipino way.

I knew when Bear mentioned her side of the story that she was saving face. She had to.

Jay

Zeb :)

Fortunately you caught that fishy e-mail.  That was a warning.  Then she disappeared to the hotel and covered up her actions with lame but rational-sounding excuses.

No need to feel in a sense jealous of other guys she might have seduced and spread her legs for.  How can Angelo expect she'll be faithful and loving to him?  Most of all, that European guy does not realize the clusterf*** bind he got sucked into yet.

You should be proud of yourself for taking action when you did so that you can have a life, live the life you want to live, and be the person you want to be.

- Kevin

Too funny!!!  Gerlie gets funny when I refer to this girl I dated before I met Ayesa as the Devil's daughter, but it cracks me up :P  Maybe she moved to the Philipines!  LOL

Sorry, off topic, I know

LOL

H

I always felt that your subconscious or instinct may have been telling you something was not right and maybe that was why you wanted to take off.

Dave H.

Stephen

Bear and Honey

I'll tell you this....I'm sure not gonna give Bear my ex-wife's name and address.  Or he'll look her up and then come back and tell everyone here HER SIDE OF THE STORY.

Hell...there's only room for one side here....MINE!!  LOL

Stephen

- Kevin

My heart goes out to him. It's a shame he can't see the truth. His starving for affection is going to cost him a broken heart and an empty wallet. From what I've read, he has been warned by many, for a long time.

Dave H.

- Kevin

Some of those guys on M-A really know how to support a lady in a luxurious manner! If I ever move to the Philippines, I'm going to pretend I'm a Filipina and get a few as pen pals. I'll live like a King! :o)))

Dave H.

Some guys just don't get it. Bill and Walt's women could have been the nicest women in the world. However, by sending them thse huge amount's of money, they are possibly ruining them. That's like hitting a small lotto in the Philippines. 750.00 dollars a month?? I could have lived REAL nice on that when I was livin' in the RP in the 90's! That includes all the money I would have spent drinkin' in bar's everyday. What do they spend it on??

Jay

I don't know what she would be doing with that kind of money.

I filed the fiancee visa docs in June, 2000.  Tess got here in November, 2000.  Tess was employed at a salary of about $190 per month.  In those 6 months I gave her $700 to get ready and get here.  In addition I sent another $300 so she could go home when her brother died unexpectedly.  But she never complained.  

Since Tess got here I've never worried about her spending money.  She's very tight-fisted with the money.  By the way, she had a piece of paper detailing how she had spend every cent of money I'd sent to her.

But if you have trouble with the lady spending money when she's in the Phils.....you're gonna be over your head when she get to America and starts spending.

I'm glad I don't have that kind of problem.

Stephen

- Kevin

Gold Digger Rule #1 - See what kind of cell phone she owns. Is she says she owns or wants a Nokia 7650...dump her and run away...FAST!!! :o)

Marife didn't own or want a cell phone...still doesn't. When we're together, we actually talk to each other and not a third party. Come to think of it, she doesn't ask for anything or buy much either. When she does buy something, it's usually for me or someone else. :o)

Dave H.

- Kevin

Now's a good time to spoil yourself a little. Don't rush it! Keep it casual. Being lonely and single is better than being in a bad marriage...any day! I was single most of my life. I was happy most of the time and I can't ever remember stealing, cheating on or lying to myself. :o) Of course being in a great marriage takes the prize. Patience!

Dave H.

- Kevin

Dave H.

Dave H.

Actually "buy me" can be good. As in, "Buy me a drink, sailor?" or "Buy me for the evening?". Hehehehe

Jay

Gold Digger Rule #4 - If she asks you how much money you make, tell her you are unemployed. If she sticks around, she may be marriage material.

Dave H.

Zeb

Dave H.

Final Gold Digger Rule - If your fiancee's children tell you that their mother is still a virgin and you believe them...by all means go ahead and marry her and forget all of the rules. :o) You wouldn't be the first to fall for that old trick.

Dave H.

-Goodnight Dave.

If I had been seeking a Japanese wife, I would have listed my occupation as "pig farmer." :o)))

Dave H.

- Kevin

What do you think about "Flatulent sewer diver with LBS (leaky bowel syndrome). LOL She...it! I know several divers and they make good money. LOL

Dave H.

My hope is that they put them up in real nice furnished apartments in Manila or one of the other large cities. If not, who knows where the money is going?

Dave h.

My guess would be 'Dudong". Poor guys.

Jay

steveb

"Me so horny! Me love you long time! You just like Russel Crowe. Send more money! Need $10,000 US for new nipa hut. Old one fall down. Need money buy Daddy new tricycle. Need money for build sari-sari. You very handsome and young Kano. Send all your money Joe!" :o)

Love,

Davida H.
_______________

Hey Steve,

How did I do?

My wife's family went through several serious hardships while she was still in the Philippines. She never told me or asked for money. I only found out through my friend, my Kano bother-in-law. My wife would still be reluctent to tell me more info, so as not to worry me. The several times I sent money, I had to send it first by Western Union, then tell her. If not, she would refuse it.

Dave H.

No Mars, you didn’t confront me because you perceived that I was “verbally assaulting” Greg. Why don’t you admit that you can’t stand Greg? After all, isn’t he one of those dirty uneducated blue-collar scums that you despise so much? You started a fight with me because you hate my guts and Greg was bashing Filipinas. IMO, Greg has more class than you’ll ever have. At least he’s honest. And just what is your definition of a “verbal assault”? I think anyone who witnessed your recent childish tirade would find your claim of defending some innocent guy against a “verbal Assault” totally laughable (hehehe!).

You said “I am leaving because I chose to. I realized after that fight that I really don't have any business here at this is Phils oriented board”. You aren’t leaving because this is a “Phils oriented board”. You’re leaving because you made a total arse of yourself and you know you’ll never live it down, so you’re running away with your tail tucked between your legs. And you just couldn’t resist the opportunity to get one last lick in, could you. I think you’re nothing more than an arrogant, self-righteous, sniveling coward. Some of the asinine comments you made revealed some serious character flaws that you need to work on IMHO. My suspicion for the real reason that you despise Filipinas is because one turned you down and your over-inflated ego just couldn’t handle the rejection. She probably told you “No thank you Mr. Mars, you’re just too much of an arrogant snob for me”. If you had been paying attention on this forum, you would have known that Filipinas despise arrogant know-it-alls like yourself. My advice to you is to take a good look in the mirror before you get into another relationship. Read Tim’s post on the subject below. Oh, one more piece of friendly advice Mars: don’t start any more fights on web forums until you learn to control that bad temper of yours :-)

-----
Some memorable quotes from Mars:

“For those of you who have been burned by Filipinas, forget the Philippines and visit China. You will find a much higher class of woman there…Quality is always cheaper over the long run.”

“Another blue collar, anti-intellectual oaf. Sheesh..Shouldn't you be driving truck or something 7 days a week?”

“I've seen enough of you anti-intellectual types in my life. Your resentment towards the intelligentsia is repulsive to me. But I guess that comes from doing something you hated all your life in the blue collar world and witnessing others who are happy with life”

“And you can go back to your sister or mother or brother or daddy or hand or where ever it was you lost your virginity”

“Bl*w me...and that goes for your mother too.”
-----

Of course, now you’ll probably deny that you said those things :-)

No hard feelings Mars. I wish you luck and I’ll remember you in my prayers…

Ray

Did Mars apologise or something? LOL I tried to be open minded, but he did a good job on his own, proving your point!

Dave H.

Jim

Yeah, now that was a troll! LOL! I would have liked to get my hands on him. He once said I must have been a "catcher" in da joint. Took me a while to know what he meant. As in taking it up the wazoo. No ones ever said that to my face. I woulda killed him! LOL!

Jay

Jim

LMAO! I always thought it was Hum. I hope not, Hum's a good guy! LOL! Remember "cjb", I think it was? I thought that was Hum, too. LOL! Don't remember why I thought that. I cant imagine now they could be the same people.

Thanks for the "d@mn" post above. I thought I might have my butt hangin' in the wind all alone on that one. Somebody had to say it.

Jay

Jim "skinny weird guy" bo

Hum

Dave H.

Jim

I haven't even looked at maganak for a long time and won't as long as that ahole George is Modarator. I wasn't a very happy camper back in my early days of posting.

Humabdos

Dave H.

Well, I sure hope you weren't Harry. That would mean I would have to kill you. LOL!

Jay

As I recall...he hated roosters! LOL

Dave H.

- Kevin

This board may have just already served it's purpose in your life...It may have now completed that for you. And now as you travel down this road of life in a new relationship with your friend in China, I hope it brings your life joy and hope, as you reach for the need that is universal in all of us..The need for finding Love, after all that's what I think originally Planet Love was meant to be all about. Go carefully,

Zeb :)

Many of you guys believe I am dirty s.o.b. but actually if any of you were in trouble, you would find me to be a steadfast ally. But like many people, I really find it distasteful when I see someone constantly barraging another over his/her opinion like they solely occupy some sort of moral high ground. Right or wrong...It really ticks me off.

STEPHEN:

But the posts you made over the last several days were those of a pushy, dirty, s.o.b.  You tried to shove yourself on other people.

You're right about being on the wrong board.  I think China is a good place for you.

Personally, I want to find a pinay wife someday.  I'm very much aware of the risks and will do what I can to avoid being burned, and fight like hell and am aware of many possible angles of attack in the event somebody does try to rake me over the coals.  

What irks me (but I'm used to it now) is when some self-righteous leader of the pack persistently covers up the incidence of golddiggers and green card sharks be calling anybody that speaks up about this issue as "racist".  That only serves to encourage such behavior.  Well, let me say this.  I have an older Filipino friend who belongs to the same parish as myself.  He's been in this country since 1957 (used to serve in the military) and he's proud of his heritage.  But he looks at the world objectively.  Yes it's hard to grapple with the fact that when looking for love in the Philippines it's a very high risk proposition.  But it's true.  When my friend took a biannual vacation in the Philippines this spring, I asked him if he could introduce me to single girls he came in contact with (showing me picture and telling about me).  He said he could not, in good faith, do that.  His opinion is that it was too high of a risk that a girl would just use me to get to the United States and then divorce me as soon as she could.  As a good friend, he wouln't allow anybody to try to do that to me and if something did happen, would not in any way want to feel indirectly responsible.  The point is that nobody can call him a bigot on the premise he acknowledges to prevalence of moral turpitude amongst the people of his country.  He told me that things will simply never improve (economically and socially) in the Philippines and that there'd always be problems because of prevailing attitudes, ethics, etc.  Having followed the sagas on this board for the past two years, indeed I have seen a few misfortunes.  The very thing any guy looking for love wants to steer clear of.

For all the bads about issues pertaining to seeking love with a pinay, there are good stories too.  I've witnessed in my social sphere happily married Fil-Am couples in healthy relationships.  Just on this board, I have special admiration for Febtember.  Her love for her husband shows and glows just by the way she posts on this board.  Sally & Jimbo are another fine example of a marriage based on love.  Actions speak louder than words.  Personally, I'm "casting my net" by sending letters to the Philippines.  My hopes and my prayers are that someday I will have a very special pinay in my life.  It doesn't matter whether I meet her in Rhode Island, the Philippines, or perhaps another country, so long as she can and will love me for what I am.

- Kevin

- Kevin

I figured you missed that. Knowing you, I don't think you would have sided with him, had you seen it.

As for the situation with Howard, I don't think anyone would mislead him. Maybe poor advice, but Howards a big boy, and made his own decision's based on what info was available at the time. Can't blame someone else for his problems. Howard doesn't.

I'm sorry again about my fart post before. Didn't mean to offend you. I REALLY though a fart video was funny , too. I wasn't laughing at you. I lost alot of friends over that fart post. I just had a bad morning that day.

Jay

Really? Did someone say you were a racist? Who might this “self-righteous leader of the pack” be anyway? Do you think you could point out some instances where every time someone brought up the subject of gold diggers or green card sharks, they were called a racist? I don’t remember that Kevin. Are you sure that didn’t happen on another forum maybe? Or is that just your imagination running wild again?

Curious minds want to know…

Ray

Thanks for your comments. Would you like to explain to us just how I am “bullying” Kevin? I only asked him a simple question. If Kevin can post insulting comments and accusations about someone here, then I have every right to respond. Why don’t you let Kevin defend his own comments?

I’m not playing Greg, but it seems that you are.

Ray

You don't have to be good with words to answer my question. Exactly how was I bullying Kevin? You made the accusation, now back it up and explain it to us.

If you're only trying to start a fight Greg, then go somewhere else. I won't play your silly game.

Ray

I think that the gay interior decorator is a much better catch, despite what Stephen says. :o))) If those beeitchy women become artificialy inseminated and give birth to sons, they will surely become gay. I've got a hunch that won't happen, as those male sperm will probably swim as fast as they can down stream and get the HE11 out of there!!! ~O ~O ~O ~O ~O

Dave H.

Humor is in the ear of the beholder. Some people don't think I'm so funny. Yes, I'm usually a bit on the edge when it comes to trying to get a laugh. But I'm no Tom Greene. Sometimes it's funny, other times it can be embarrassing (purple G-string). Marife is much more serious than I, but I can usually get a laugh out of her when she's feeling down. Humor was my way of handling all of the suffering and death I have witnessed. Being on the fire department definately pushed it up a few notches. I wrote songs like "Start Your Day With A DOA" and "I A'int Got No Body." No need to explain the inspiration behind them. Believe it or not, sometimes I'm shy, quiet and polite. :o)

Dave H.

- Kevin

Steveb

I'm a jack of all trades, a master of none. :o)

Dave H.

Hello Lori.  Hope you're doing well today.

Stephen

Hello Lori.  Hope you're doing well today.

Stephen

Bear and Honey

We're happy to hear that you are finally reunited!

To think that I had considered Detroit as a POA. LOL San Francisco was good other than some little beeitchy Chinese guy at immigration, that kept sending people to different lines and then yelling at them for being in the wrong line. Marife told him that he was the one that had sent them there. Then he shut up...at least until she left! It seems everyone else was afraid to open their mouths to "Napoleon." Not my lady! :o)))

Dave and Marife H.

Thank you so much for your post's. Apparently Patrick deleted them as well. Can't say as I blame him.  Thanks again, I was starting to think no one cared about that.

Jay

Jay

Ray

I wonder how he will do on Tim's China board. Maybe he should call himself "Uranus." :o)))

Dave H.

ROTFLMAOCUML!

Mars missed his calling.  He should have tried the Russian or Latin board.

Stephen

I know you'd do the same for me! Let's get together one of these days.

Dave H.

Your right, I would. Are you going to be around tommorow? I'm off, and have some things to do, but I thought I might give you a call. Maybe we can get all of us together next week or something. It's just that schedules are a problem. Criselda works from midnight to 8:00 AM M-F, Matt from 8:00 AM to 4:00 PM M-F, and me 4:00PM W-Sun. When does Marife work? This has gone on long enough. We MUST get together! LOL!

Jay

Call me, I should be here. Marife works 3 nights (7p-7A) a week. Marife and Criselda are still on Philippine time. LOL

Dave H.

Jay

The one thing I will never forget is seeing Eun Jung come walking down the sidewalk when she met me at the bus stop when I arrived there. I finally had to remind myself to breath.
We have been talking for almost a year now, and at least talk to say hello everyday.  Phone cards are great.  Last phone bill had a 8 minute call that was $38.00...but the phone card wouldn't work.  Glad we didn't talk an hour.

She took me all around Seoul, museums and parks.

We also took a train to Gyeongju in the southeast part of Korea. Saw lots of the temples and other things in the area. We were going to take a tour bus for a day but wound up renting a taxi for about $80 (also bught him lunch and some drinks), 1/2 the price of the bus. He had grown up around the area and showed us all the main attractions. He also took lots of pictures of us (which i forgot at her apartment).

One thing we saw that I thought that was really interesting was the tomb of King Munmu. It is the only under-water tomb in the world. He want buried there so that he could protect Korea from the evil dragon (Japan). There was a waterway built so the he would have access to the temple (I think it was Gaseunsa Temple).

It will be good to be in Korea again. The food is great, really spicy. It is priced reasonable. The beer is expensive, $3-4/each at the couple places I went, but I don't drink much anyway.

Well I'll tell everyone more the end of September when I get back.

I wounder how long it will take her to adapt to a town of 2000 people in the middle of nowhere in northwest Kansas when if she were to move here from Seoul (3rd or 5th largest city in the world ....i have read both), 8,000,000+ people.

I read all the posts here but don't say much.

Take care

Anya hasayo.

- Jeff S.

I  don't  recall  seeing  you  post  before  but If  you  did  I  apologize.

I think I am with the  others in  eagerly  awaiting  any  information, trip  reports or  other  whimsical thoughts You  have about  Korea.  I  personally  know  next  to  nothing  about  Korea.

I   have  3  Korean  girls (cute  but  young) and  about  3-4 Korean guys  taking  Japanese  with  me in our  class.  I  wonder  if  they  are  taking  it  just  for  an  elective  for  their  majors  whatever  they  may  be   or  because  they  see  it  to  be  a very  big  advantage   for  business and friendships  in  the  future  since  the  countries  are  neighbors.

I  also  work  with  a  french Chef  and  he  married  a woman while  he  was  working  in  Korea.  He  showed  me her  picture  and  she  is  a  knock out.

It  sounds  like  you  have  a  good  thing  going  on  already  and  I  hope  this  upcoming  trip  is  a  stellar  success  for  both  of  you.   Korea  certainly  was  in  the  limelight  recently  with  their success  in hosting  and advancing in   the  Soccer  world  cup.  Did she  have  any  thoughts  about  that?

Please  keep  us  in  the  loop  about  your  adventures and  we / I  look  foreward  to  hearing  from you  again!

Windmill  Boy

I look forward to hearing your trip report! I found your post was very interesting.

Dave H.

Thanks for posting!South Korea,huh?Cool.Maybe your posts will bring other Koreaphiles out of lurk mode.I'd like to hear all about it.I heard they had a bad typhoon in S Korea.Hope your friends are all safe.Have fun on your trip.

tito Matt

Jim

These fish heads were fried.  Only the part of the fishs' body from about the front fins forward were intact.  I wonder what the torsos and tails were used for (I'm sure the torsos and tails were the better parts of the fish.  The fish heads were rather neatly placed in a soft aluminum rectangular container.

People not familiar with or unappreciative about pinoy foods may think I'm strange.  But boy, those fish heads were sarap.  I had to go up for more.  So crispy and not too salty. The skin (and bone) around the skull and gill coverings is nice and crunchy, and has a distinct taste.  The eye is kind of tasteless and kind of briefly detracts from the prevailing taste in you mouth while eating that part of the head.  (I suppose the eye might have it's unique taste if I bit it rather than swallowing it whole)  The fish's brain and other upper innards (propably the upper nervous system) are brown, very tender and of somewhat powdery texture.

- Kevin

Zeb :)

Dave H.

www.mag-anak.org

Follow link to web forum.

Larry.

Nathan

Free visa info:
http://usembassy.state.gov/posts/rp1/wwwh3204.html
http://www.ins.usdoj.gov/graphics/index.htm
INS: 1-800-375-5283

If you would like to engage in constructive discussion about China and the option to find a husband/wife from that country, I would invite you to apply to join the discussion group for China-USA-Couples. You can find the weblink for it by clicking on my name in this message; it's listed in my profile. There are over 300 members in the group, with backgrounds from the mainland, Taiwan, Hong Kong, and various western countries. We discuss the pluses and minuses of our relationships, without sugarcoating anything.

You will find very little accurate or constructive information about China on this board.

Regards, Tim

My observation's below on China and Chinese people were of course very broadbrushed. I knew you might take exeption. Of, course with the Mainland being as big as it is, it is very diverse. As are the peoples. Best to go to a site like yours to get a more accurate picture. No offense intended, though I'm sure some was taken. My deepest apologies.

Jay

http://www.cnn.com/2002/TECH/internet/09/02/china.google.reut/index.html

The Chinese people, one on one, are really nice folk. The ones I have met in their homeland were all polite, sweet, friendly and charitable. But their government is still one of the most surpressive on the planet.

By all means, try for a Chinese wife. They are, as Wendy proves, patient, intelligent, beautiful and superior spousal material. Just don't think about settling in China.

Don

Last year, I remember when I was communicating via e-mail with a fellow engineer in China regarding a joint project that we were working on, I found it strange that he kept asking for URL's to technical sites to look up engineering data on parts lists that I had provided. Now it makes more sense, if he was possibly limited in the search engines that he had available to him (?).

I’ve never traveled to mainland China, but I’ve spent some time in Taiwan and did lots of R&R stops in Hong Kong. I got to know some Chinese families when I was living in the Philippines and I have some Chinese neighbors here in San Diego. Overall, I have also found Chinese people to be very friendly, hospitable,  and extremely polite. In Hong Kong however, people were a little less friendly toward strangers (or maybe it was just sailors-LOL).

I have also known several shipmates that married Taiwanese ladies and their relationships seemed just as strong as those who were married to Filipinas or Japanese.

Ray

- Jeff S.

Yeah, sailors do have a “unique” reputation around the world I guess. Yokosuka did get a little wild now and then, but the hard partying was pretty much confined to the “Honcho” and a small area on the waterfront. That’s where a lot of sailors did some heavy drinking and “unwound” after time at sea. Of course there were always the few who couldn’t maintain control and made total arses of themselves, but overall the guys were pretty well-behaved. There was the occasional bar room brawl, usually between the sailors and Marines, just for the sake of tradition, but the shore patrol kept a pretty tight reign on things and wouldn’t hesitate to haul you in if you were even close to any rowdy action. In most theatres, the Navy went out of their way to maintain some very nice clubs and recreation facilities on base to sort of encourage the troops to stay out of town as much as possible.

Once you got away from the immediate base area, it was extremely rare for sailors to get into any serious trouble in Japan. The guys were usually well behaved and the Navy provided at least a basic crash course in intercultural relations before arrival in a foreign port. A lot of the guys liked to get out of town and do some shopping, sight seeing, and take a lot of pictures. Since we were in civilian clothes, I don’t know how obvious we were to the average local citizen, but the Japanese people were generally friendly toward us, probably more so the farther away we were from the base.

So, what was your wife’s impression of the U.S. sailors when she was growing up? Did her mom teach her to run as fast as she could when she saw a sailor approaching? (LOL)

Ray

In truth, my wife's sister married a sailor. At first, he wasn't allowed to come to their house while it was light outside. The parents were embarrassed that their daughter was hooked up with a gaigin, especially a gunjin (military person) but they eventually accepted him. After being discharged, then moved to Japan and worked in papa-san's business. He was (and still is) a hard drinkin' hard partyin' crazy man. They had two kids together and after a number of years of conflict, they got divorced. I don't blame him, though, I doubt I could last very long with my sister-in-law - and I sure wouldn't have wanted to work for my father-in-law in Japan (though he offered me to go into his grain trading business, but I passes). My ex brother-in-law works as a merchant marine now, only sailing long enough to pay for about 6 months of partying in Phuket Thailand at a time, then back on a ship.

The kicker was, than since my wife's sister rejected her omiai, (arranged marriage) and married a gaigin, it fell to my wife, the younger sister, to carry out the obligation. She was married about a year, got pregnent, then after moving home to her parents for the later months of the pregnancy (a Japanese tradition) decided she didn't want to go back. They divorced as well. By the time I arrived on the scene, 8 years later, the folks were pretty much used to the idea of a gaigin. It was the 80s by then, so attitudes were changing substantially. I equate the 80s in Japan with the 60s here in the US - a time of change.

Anyway, sailors and marines in Japan are usually easy to spot, but you're right, most are polite and well behaved away from the ports. Anywhere in Japan, people like to practice their English, so round-eyes usually have no trouble getting into conversations with strangers - much more easily than Japanese to each other - believe it or not.

-- Jeff S.

Chinese PEOPLE are just like people everywhere, as you pointed out. Few are responsible for their government's actions, as anyone with a bit of common sense should realize.

Many Americans, like me, have had wonderful success with a Chinese spouse. However, I will be the first person to state that a Chinese wife is not a Magic Bullet for all of life's ills, or the elixir to cure a string of failed relationships. No man or woman from anywhere can be this.

I think it is wrong to compare people from different countries. It's especially degrading to the women when western men engage in debates over which country produces the better wives. A motivating factor I had for starting this thread was to attempt to defuse that type of discussion.    

Regards, Tim

The Chinese I have known singly were for the most part really decent folk. As were the Arabs I have known, the Latinos I have known, the Germans, the Dutch, even the French I have known (exception of about 20% of Parisians). If you meet them in a family situation people are pretty much universally hospitable.

There are differences, else we would not be looking towards Asia for wives, but they don't disguise that 90% of people in foreign lands are pretty decent folk if you give them a chance to be. We all get chewed out by our wives on occasion, we all want the best we can get for our kids (and we spend a lot of time worrying about them), husbands everywhere neglect to put the lid down to their women's disgust (in societies where they have toilet seats). Women almost universally love flowers and sweets and jewelry as gifts. Most people pull together when someone in the village/area has a really bad time and help as much as they can. Most women think their feet are ugly, while men as a rule could care less about women's feet (there are exceptions). Most men below 70 spend a lot of time thinking about sex, and quite a few over 70 do, too. Women like to play with their hair and are never satisfied with it. Men like to scratch their butts. A lot of stuff is darn near universal.

But there are a lot of misconceptions out there, too. American men think Asian women are all submissive/shy, have six tongues and walk three paces behind their man. Foreign women think most American men are wealthy.

With a few exceptions, the more you travel the more you will come to like the average human family, and the less you will like governments. I always encourage everyone to travel. It is the best educational tool there is. You don't even understand your own country until you have seen a few others first hand. I have been places that made me realize how good we have it here in the USA, and places that have a few ideas I wish we'd try (Ireland's schools are wonderful overall).

As for Chinese women as mates I leave the floor to you, Tim, our resident expert, and those on his forum who have the experience. As I said there ARE cultural and other differences. But face it, if everything was the same everywhere, it would be a pretty boring world.

Don

As has been said many times on this board, and I believe is worth yet another iteration: The first place to start looking for a potential wife is in the mirror. Where you look after that is just a matter of personal taste.

-- Jeff S.

Don

Very little is said about China on this board.  It only makes sense that if they are interested in China they could get soooooo much more accurate information on your link.

I'm glad you come by regularly.  You have many good ideas to share.

Best wishes.

Stephen

This last week I have been comming home to a plate of rice drying on the porch. I thought at first my wife was feeding the birds, but she informed me that she was going to make something.
Well, the other day I came home and she had a pan with oil cooking the rice. She then gave me some of the ? with sugar and milk.

Can anyone guess what she made?

I tell everyone in my next post.

Take care,
Surigao Ken

Tada!

Yes, my wife made Rice Crispies or Ampao. I've told everyone in my fanily as well as friends and work mates and they were all amazed. I guess we all take for granted that everything seems to come from cans or boxes nowadays.
For all you winners you get to try it at home if you haven't already.
Take care,
Surigao Ken

I  got  the  puffing  rice  in  oil  part  right?  

How  close  is  it  to  actual  rice  crispie  treats?  

You  would  need  the  puffed  rice.  2  parts  sugar  to  1  part egg  white  to  make  a  good  strong  meringue  to  bind  them.  normally  you  use  butter  to  melt the  marshmellows (meringue) but  I  suppose  you  have  oil  in there  already  to  puff  the  rice  and  what  is  the  milk  for, washing  it  down?

although  I  am  up  for  trying  new  things  I  would  imagine  it  would  be  greasier  than  rice  krispies  in the box.  so  I  would  opt  for  the American  method  of  preparing them probably.  I  do  agree  that  the  packaged  premade  store  bought  rice  crispie  treats  are  rather  disgusting.  The  crispies  are  still  ultimately  stale  and  the  preservative  taste  is  overwhelming  and  distracting. But they  might  be  adequate  for  the  average  American Palate  unfortunately.

Windmill Boy

Take care,
Surigao Ken

- Kevin

I  still  have  to  study  for  my  Hiragana  test  tomorrow.  20  more  Charectors  to  learn  along  with  the  50  I  have  studied  already.  But  then  again  I  have  a  new  Japanese  girl  that  wrote  me  a  nice  letter last  night  maybe  I  should  attend  to  her  first ---   hmmm  decisions  decisions.

Well  I  should  talk.  Right now  just  got  home  from a  all  you  can  eat Chinese  diner with  a  friend  and  discussing  her  fathers  passing  away  last  week.  I'm  stuffed  and  my ribs  hurt  but  I'll  be  hungry  again  in  2 - 3  hours ha ha ha.

Windmill  Boy

Not being  familiar with  filapino  food  I'll  take  a  stab  at  it and  tell  you  how  I would  have  done  it  given  the  parameters  you  supplied   from  a culinary  stand point.

I'm  guessing she  made  some  sort  of  rice  pudding.

she  fried  the  rice  in  the  oil  so  it  puffed  like  rice  crispies   and  then  she  boiled  it  pilaf  style in the milk with sugar  to  make rice  puding.

Windmill Boy

Or something like that :)))) I did try to dry  cooked rice ones but
have no luck .....lots of birds in the backyard.

Better luck next time maybe?

Peaches

LOL I cheated and asked my wife and sister-in-law who are sitting in the living room. Are we right?

Dave H.

Its Ms Davao's birthday today and we drove her to see them knowing now that Honey is pregnant long trip will become difficult if not impossible (considering how easily she gets sick) till next year.  Everything was going great and we were just having a wonderful time enjoying each others horror stories (the old ex-married to AW guys).  We decided to take the ladies to Lake Martin at "D.A.R.E." Park to swim.  We got there pretty late in the evening (about 5 P.M.).  The girls were all having fun, Glenn and I were in the water with them, Jim watching from up a hill.  Soon after we got there the tenant for the park pulled up on his 4-wheeler and motioned me to come over.  I walk up and greeted him.  He said that he had received a complaint?!  It seems a woman with her young children had come in and complained that were all cursing and using profanities, particularly me (I guess its the goatee!).  I pointed out to him that we were with our wives teaching them how to swim and they probably heard them speaking tagalog.  Then I also said to him that I held the priesthood and that the woman (huge fat woman) who complained was probably upset that three men in their 50's could ne married to three women from a foriegn country in their 20's.

Needless to say we were all pretty up set that anything was said at all but even more so that he acted on their complaint.  We decided that the best thing to do was forgive her and let God deal with it and continued have a great time!!!

Ms Davao, Glenn, Joselyn, Jim, Honey and Bear

This is so ridiculous, but the sad thing is is that it seems to carry weight in many instances.  In today's society, a guy is no good as a husband if he's not Superman.  I'm just reminiscing about before and when my ex-wife first arrived in America.  I have a sister-in-law who is very aggressive, snippy and sometimes arrogant.  In the past, she's insulted me as well as other people, including certain family members.  Well, my ex-wife used to do certain things like cut my nails (at the time she told me it was a way of showing affection).  When I came back from the Philippines, and told some stories (I just thought they were sweet experiences), my sister-in-law goes on this tirade about "women's rights".  She says something to the tune of "When she gets to America, we'll show her what her rights are!  We'll take her shopping!  We'll teach her how to drive! . . .etc.  (At the time she was down my throat because I lived too modestly [well I just lived in a budget, I did not care about the Jonses] and other quirks, such as driving "too slow" [ when in actuality, I just make it habit for me to submit to the rules of the road rather than ignore them; life has enogh problems for me to have to suffer more unintended and unanticipated consequences ].

Perhaps I diverted from the topic, but I'd like to emphasize a point now that I got to this.  I feel sorry for my brother because she's very demanding and of course, "wears the pants".  Whenever I feel frustrated because I'm not with a spouse, it's now been drilled into me that it's better to feel lonely and without someone to share affection with when you come home after a rough day at work, than it is to be apprehensive about coming home because you don't know what kind of mood your wife will be in.  I can relax when I come home.  When I see what my brothers go through, as well as alot of other married men, it makes me realize that I really am lucky to be independent.  It's almost, if not, a privelege that I'm just beginning to appreciate more.  I can arrange and organize things in my home, for example, to my tastes within a reasonable budget without having to argue about the cost of doing this or that.  Love indeed is a beautiful thing, but I realize it would be foolish to give up my peace of mind and 100%independence in persuit of the wrong woman.  I'd better darn well be sure that any woman I'm willing to marry someday share's the same fundamental philosophy, sentiments and outlooks regarding the world and how it operates.  Otherwise, without such shared core fundamentals (or values), the relationship simply will not work.

- Kevin

Just curious... DID anyone use curse words or profanity? Even one word? Seem's strange someone would make that up out of the blue.

Jay

steveb

-- Jeff S.

Everyone blammed my ex for our breakup, including her own parents. Once I accepted the belief that I had something to do with it, my whole life turned around. Gone was the anger and resentment, replaced with a desire to move on, live my life, and find out what I was all about. Many Filipinas seem to worry about getting involved with a divorced guy. I myself have no feelings for my ex one way or another. She is just a person that I know. Had I no children, it's doubtful that I would ever come in contact with her again. As the memories fade and new happy ones continue to grow, I find it hard to believe that I was ever married before. However, I feel that I learned a lot and am now a much better husband for it.

Dave H.

I think everyone has their attitude flair ups and it's usually when we feel we have been personally attacked in someway. Everyone is vulnerable in some way especially when they have revealed some more directly personal side of their past experience regardless of it being a good or bad.

I often agree off and on with perspectives here, but often choose not to take sides in order not to aggravate the situation over what in my mind seem minor squabbles. Personaly I do not see much point or signs of intelligence when people have to keep going back and forth on non issues regardless of the validity of either side. I think in life you come to realizing there is always going to be somebody with differing view points which may or may not seem rationale to others at the time. Voice your thoughts, even clarify them if need be, but then I say "let it go"! Nevertheless, there is also going to be those who will need to have a last word too. Well, here' mine on the issues, "Have a happy Labor day all!! :) Barbecues and beer here...and a toast to all! :)

Zeb :)

  For those of you who have filed this paperwork...how long did it take to get it back in your experience???

Thanks for any feedback...

Nathan

Dan and Mares

tito Matt

thanks though...

Nathan

http://members.aol.com/MDUdall/instimes.htm

Regards, Tim

Nathan

http://community.webshots.com/user/will_regine

Next time, save us all some lumpia...

Ray

Congratulations on the new life and a wonderful person (plus a new little one), to share it with. 2nd trimester, not too much longer. The 1st trimester is a tough one. From the picnic photos, it looks like you are in the Philippines. LOL That great looking food is driving me crazy! :oP

Dave H.

I don't think it was me, but my wife does make lumpia and empanadas sometimes. Isn't lumpia the best! I've got to have my pancit guisado too. :oP

Dave H.

Steveb

You're making me hungry! :oP I rode 10 miles late last night in anticipation of the barbecue today. I will get back on the bike tonight.

Dave H.

Anyhow, I thought I would write a letter while waiting for Mama to call. We alternate calls to be fair to my poor husband but when I call her we talk the longest so he still has a big bill.

We recently had our anniversary on August 8th and I want to tell you what we did for our anniversary. Don took me on a trip starting the 7th and we returned the 11th of the month. Everything at the farm was under control so we could go and Jose was in charge so there were no problems. Don has a friend who has his own small aeroplane it can hold six people and Don hired him to take us to Tennessee and pick us up after. We went to this large lake near Kentucky and he had rented a houseboat for us for the weekend and we took along Mr. and Mrs. Mayor too. We landed and a driver in a van picked us up and drove a short time to the lake. We had to get a class on how to work everything and we had to buy groceries and temporary fishing licenses. This was a very nice boat it had generators for electricity and propane for cooking and hot water. The shower used filtered lake water, and the boat had very nice WCs too but they were noisy. There were two bedrooms very nice and air conditioning to cool things off before opening the screened windows at night to get the cool lake breezes. This boat even had internet access and satellite TV but we did not watch it much just news and weather. It had two levels and a roof-top sunning area and a water slide from the top to the water that we used a lot. Don and Mr. Mayor drove the boat and we girls sat by them and chatted until we were in the middle of the large lake which had many fingers of water that went everywhere. We played in the water and took the jet skis out exploring the lake and we fished. The men cought many fish Don ccaught some very big fish on Spam for bait, which we girls cooked (the fish) unless the men used the gas grill at the front of the boat, which they did almost every evening to cook fish or steaks or hamburgers for our supper. We also cooked the groceries but we girls did that for breakfast and lunch. When it rained or stormed we sat inside and played cards. It was so warm that all everyone wanted for lunch every day were drinks and cold sandwiches. Mrs. Mayor sun bathed nude sometimes atop the boat where no one could see her when the men were out on the lake doing something but I would not of course. She got burned the first day a little but she had very good lotion and she uses a tanning bed at home anyhow. I did not need much sun I am dark enough so I use very strong sunblock. But it did feel very good to be in the warmth and sun. It was hot and humid during the day just like home. On the actual day of our anniversary Don took me out on the jet ski at high speed and we jumped over boat waves and things. I was afraid at first but I started to love it soon. Don let me drive it after he showed me how and I got used to it but I would not go as fast as he did. When we got back to the boat the Mayors had decorated it and we had a party. Just before midnight he gave me a present a small box. I opened it and it was a gold chain necklace with a diamond pendant! I was so happy! Tnen Mrs. Mayor poked her hubby in the ribs and said she expected big things from him on their anniversary. And he made a face at Don. It was a wonderful trip and I was sorry to leave. I am more determined than ever now to try and have us retire to the Florida Keys and get a boat.

Love to all,

VICKY

Sound like a great way to spend an anniversary :)

Best Wishes for MANY many more :)

Keep the Faith!

H

It sounds like your anniversary was a very memorable one! Don's given me some great ideas. :o)

Dave H.

VICKY

I used to have trouble with fresh water fish especially catfish. I found out if I soak the meat in the frige overnight in salt water in a well covered bowl then rinse them well I could eat them. Some people soak them in milk for a night but that does not work for me. It takes a little while to adjust your tummy to them they are different. I do not mind fishing but I do not like to put a worm on a hook so I use other baits. Don has to take catfish off my hook as they are very feisty and have stingers in their side fins.

Congratulations on your coming anniversary! I have not been to Missouri but Don says they have some very famous caves that outlaws like Jessie James used to hide in. Merry-Mack caverns or something like that. He says he will take me there but I will need to wear a jacket and jeans as it is cold in the caves.

If you go there tell us about it.

VICKY

Steveb

Sorry we do not post pictures because of Don's former line of work.

VICKY

Tim

You said some very wise things about finding a woman close to your own age. You were mature when you sought her out. You missed the flighty girl stage thank heaven. I think that is what causes most of the trouble in mature-man very-young-wife marriages. If you had a sister remember what she was like when she was nineteen or twenty and you get my meaning. More mature people usaually want peace in their homes and lives. They are more stable and quieter in their habits *usually*.

You and Wendy are a very good match. You are both mature and intelligent, although Wendy still looks very young for her age and I still think you look like a younger Clint Eastwood. :) You are a very beautiful couple. You are mature yet you both seem to have a zeal for life. This is good as it keeps you young.

I do not think my darling will every really grow up and I think I like that. He is mature yet a lot of fun, too. I think you and Wendy are like that too.

VICKY

To be honest, I think there is something more important than finding a person with maturity. I think it's more important for a person to take the time to understand themself, and change things (if necessary), before plowing headlong into another relationship. Those who fail to do this are doomed to repeat the same mistakes of their prior failed relationships, in a never-ending vicious cycle. The problem is, most people won't take the time to do this, or don't know how.

You are right about my wife. She turns 40 in 2 weeks and most people think she still looks in her 20s. Perhaps her youthful look is a reflection of the kindness and beauty that is inside her. She is a pearl beyond price, and I still shake my head at times, wondering how I ever wound up with her as my wife.

Regards, Tim

VICKY

 Anak: Dear Itay, padalhan mo ako ng pera kasi ang mga damit ko

 pinagkakain ng mga daga.

 Itay: Dear Anak, wala akong pera. Kung gusto mo, meron dito pusa.

 ************

 Isang babae bumili ng asukal. Inabot ng tindera, pero sabi ng babae,

 "Miss, asin itong binigay mo sa akin."

 Tindera: Hindi, asukal yan. Minarkahan lang naming "Asin" para

 hindi langgamin.

 ************

 Ngongo dictionary:

 CATTLE - dun nakatira ang printeta at printipe

 MELT - yun ang sinusuot sa mewang

 EFFORT - dun nag-la-land ang efflane

 STATUE - ikaw ba yan?

 ************

 WIFE: Hudas ka! Lagi kang umuuwing lasing! Naaasar na tuloy

 ako sa mukha mo!

 HUSBAND: Pero mahal, kung hindi ako lasing, ako naman ang maaasar

 sa mukha mo!

 ************

 ANAK: 'Tay, anong pagkakaiba ng Supper at Dinner?

 ITAY: Anak, pagkumain tayo sa labas, Dinner 'yun.

 Pag dito tayo kakain ng luto ng Mommy mo, Suffer yon!!

 ************

 Maganda daw mapangasawa CANADIAN, kasi pwede mong sabihin:

 Maglaba CANADIAN!

 Magsaing CANADIAN!

 Hubad CANADIAN!

 Tuwad CANADIAN!

 Ano, okay CANADIAN?

 ************

 M'AM: Inday, sa susunod, ayokong pinakikialaman mo ang condom

 namin ng sir mo!

 INDAY: M'am, hwag kayong magbibintang! Di kami sanay ni Sir

 gumamit niyan!

 Sobra kayo!

 ************

 MRS: Lolokohin ko mister ko. Magpapanggap akong pick-up girl ako.

 Pagkita kay Mister: Hi Pogi! AVAILABLE ako ngayon....

 MR: Ayoko sa yo!! Kamukha mo misis ko!!

Sally

"Gary G. Ketts was always proud of his name - or at least he was until he came to Japan.  After arriving in Japan and starting a job teaching English, Mr. Ketts learned that his name translates into Japanese as "buttful of diarrhea and hemorrhoids."  Mr. Ketts was unable to be taken seriously by any of his students and co-workers, who would often laugh long and loud when they learned his name.  "I eventually got wise and began calling myself Clark Kent, which nobody had any problem with, but I still had difficulties when I had to sign my name on anything since I had to use the old Ketts name, 'Clark Kent' isn't exactly legally binding.  I got suicidal once, but now I think it's just a matter of leaving Japan.  Goodbye Japan, I hardly knew you.  The funny thing is that just now as I'm leaving Japan I'm meeting all of these people who have the same problems as I do.  There's Ben P. Dasai, whose name means 'constipated hick,' and Beth Nuhaff, whose name means 'ugly transvestite,' Deb Heather's name means 'fat and ugly,' Hannah Gee could mean 'nose bleed' in Japanese, and Hannah Misou means 'snot.'  Michelle D'Amay got off easy, since 'damay' just means 'don't,' but my Chinese-American colleague Dai A-ho has to suffer with a name that means 'big jerk.'  Sully O'Tuck has a name that means 'pickpocket freak'; Uta Hetta is a German girl whose name means 'can't sing a note,' or 'tone deaf,' while John Chiquan's name means 'pervert dog.'  Wow, what a rough country this is!"  In a response to the name crisis, Japanese officials have planned an education campaign teaching the people of Japan to be tolerant of funny-looking foreigners with funny names.  Conversely, the right-wing party has taken a more hostile approach by drafting a proposition that foreigners with funny names should be barred from entering Japan and disturbing the peace."

From Head Cheese, www.jade.dti.ne.jp/~hoflich/headcheese3.html

Dave H.

A small number of people have asked me what my name means (in Japan, most names of common people refer to the village where their ancestors came from).  I explained that my family name is an old English name that came from a thousand years ago when my Saxon ancestors herded swine for their feudal lord.  It's a good thing I wasn't born in Japan because that less-than-kosher background would make me a discriminated-against burakumin which in Japan is worse than being a hairy barbarian gaijin.
See http://www.culturalbridge.com/jpa.htm

Ahh yes...one of the "unclean trades." I guess it doesn't matter how many thousands of years ago the practice occured. It might be best to give a new meaning to your name. LOL My surname is from a crooked hill in England...perhaps your swine passed over it. :o)))

Dave H.

- Kevin

ROTFLMAO! I thought Dia A-Ho was already the name of a Japanese phone sex line! LOL :)

Jay

Larry.

Capt. David,
What a great story indeed! Thanks for sharing it with us & Congratulations!!! Hope it will work out for you two...
Good Luck & Best wishes!

NNP

-- Jeff S.

Seems all of us had some sort of disaster hit us on our trip to the R.P.  Mine was "family crabs" and their intention to treat me like I was a leprecaun with a pot of gold.

I love going to Corpus Christi and have taken Honey there to Padre Island and to visit relatives there.  Maybe we can get together.

Bear and Honey

I really did not want to post anything until our divorce was final.  And I apologize for intruding in your happiness.
I understand the loneliness you are feeling right now, but please believe me when I say that being lonely is preferable to what I am going through right now.

Anyway, sorry again about the negative post, but please take a little time to think before you leap.

Take Care,

Don

Dude, I am SO sorry!!!  I know there isn't a whole lot anyone can say right now, but if there's anything I can do, please don't hesitate to contact me!

I know where you are coming from and would have to agree that anything, even lonliness, is defintely preferrable to what you are going through now!

Fill us in when you feel like talking about it.

You and Vilma are in my thoughts and prayers!

Keep the Faith!

H

Thanks again,

Don

Sorry to hear your troubles.  Our story is similar in someways.  I also had a vasectomy.  Mares wanted children and so did I.  When my vasectomy was done the doctor went to great lengths to make sure it was permenant.

Well fortunately, medical technology has advance considerably in the area of micro surgery.  There is a common procedure called a vasectomy reversal.  Looking at the stats for the procedure the odds were about 50% for it working on the first try.  Second trys seem to work even better.  So I had the surgery in October of 2001.

Mares got pregnant in December of 2001 and our baby Dannise is due September 9.

Dan and Mares

Men that do not want more children, find a Filipina who cannot have children, or one that is older and has had two or three. And you can't even be sure about the second choice, either. They want to have a child with you to cement the relationship, their hold on your heart, and, juuuuusst maybe, to ensure they are a part of any inheritance by law. After all, she has to provide for herself and ALL her children after you are gone. Only sensible. Filipinas are nothing if not sensible, at least according to their rules, that is.

Again, sorry to hear it is not working out. You both have our sympathies.

Don

Larry.

Take Care,

Don

Now just because this filipina would take advantage of such a..... ummm... SUCKER can you blame her? Well maybe, maybe not.  Maybe the guy had nothing better to do with the money he saved all his life.

If People would pick someone a little closer to their own age and body type there would be much fewer problems.

Then you have the normal guys like Don2222 who seemed to have made the right choice but things just don't work out
mostly because of the age diffrence and the baby issue or what ever.(seems to happen a lot) :-(  

HUMMM WOULD THIS PERSON BE ATRACTED TO ME IF SHE WHERE HERE IN THE USA ALREADY?

jUST MY .O3

Humabdos

Cool man!

Your advice that guys should take their time and not rush into marriage is good thinking. But then you lost it.

First, you missed the whole point because that’s NOT what Don said. Actually, he said “Many Filipinas are so eager to leave the Philippines that they will agree to just about anything”. There may or may not be “some” truth to his statement, but when you say that “MOST Pinays would do or say anything to get to America for a better life”, you’re dead wrong. That’s nothing but an ignorant negative stereotype and I find it very insulting. I don’t know how many Filipinas that you have known in your lifetime to make you an expert on the subject, but from my experience I can guarantee that you are full of it. Why don’t you just say that the few Pinays that you have known were all liars if that’s the case, but don’t even try to lump a whole race of women into that category. If you or anyone else really believes that most Filipinas are a bunch of lying green card sharks, then why don’t you go look in another part of the world???

You also imply that the guys who chose a good one just got lucky. More insults Greg! Give us some credit for using our minds and our common sense when we picked a good woman and quit with this crap that we just got lucky. Maybe you weren’t lucky Greg, or maybe you just don’t know how to chose the right woman, I don’t know. But I’m getting a little tired of these insulting remarks of yours.

Just my $.02,

Ray

From my "personal experience," my wife and her sister would have done just about "anything" to stay in the Philippines. In fact, I believe that my sister-in-law and her husband will be living back in the Philippines within the next year or so. Why did they both come here then? To be with the men they love. If I was not raising my children, I would most likely be living in the PI right now. My wife knew she would have to live in the US when she decided to marry me. If she didn't love me, it would have been very easy to just say no to my proposal. They lived simple lives in the Philippines and don't want anything more if they return...no big houses, cars, servants, jewelry... They lead very simple lives here.

Dave H.

Tess and I like Cagayan de Oro.  We've talked about living there in the future.  But not Butuan.  Just nothing there.  I didn't care for it at all.

Stephen

  I might very well end up back in Cagayan De Oro myself...it is a good medium size city and most of it is pretty safe, with good services and shopping....

Nathan

We have a house in Butuan. You're right, there's not much there, but a lot of family. I like to travel through the barangays, down the river, into the countryside and bundok. We're also looking to buy a place on the beach in Bohol one of these days or perhaps a farm. CDO would be very nice.

Dave H.

I hope that things turn out well for each of you. Best wishes.

Dave H.

-- Jeff

I've been there not long ago so I do understand what your going through even though your divorce is under much diffrent circumstances than mine.

My mahal Sallie is 33 and much more mature (maybe she can straiten me out) Theres a big diffrence in maturity between 20 and 30 year old filipinas! of AW's for that matter.

I hope some of these new guys will wake up and smell the espresso!
If your 300lbs and 50 or older DON'T marry a little girl,
why not find someone in her 30's or 40's maybe a little over weight also?   Just my $.03

Humabdos

I definately do agree with the point you were trying to make, though. You're absolutely right, there is a big difference in 10 years.

Larry.

Hum

As you may remember, the matter of children (me not wanting any) was a big issue in my search for a wife. Wendy and I talked about it alot during our courtship. In retrospect, I think I was wise to choose someone older (like me), who was past the prime years of childbearing. This lead me to believe her when she said "I don't want kids".

Our 2-year anniversary is coming up in 3 weeks and she is still of the same mindset. Thank Goodness.

Regards, Tim

Take Care,

Don

Sorry dude!!

Bear

Dave & Marife H.