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I am up quite early today. Can't help it, had some trouble in the henhouse. Coon got in and was making trouble. Now he's dead and skinned and I am wide awake.

Anyhow, about the boney wenches that bothered Vicky in the mall. I am sure you've seen some like them. A-cup, knock-kneed, vegetarian, with rings in their nostrils and several in each ear, a couple in the lip, an eyebrow ring and several tongue studs. I imagine they were pierced in places that did not show as well. Short hair, hawk-nosed, super-liberal femi-nazis. No makeup whatsoever (and boy, could they have used it). I also suspect their armpits and legs were unshaven. They were out saving womyn, the whales and all other soft, furry things who are opressed by corporate white male agression. Probably lesbian lovers, too. Simple blouses, no bras (don't need them) multicolored socks with the individual toes on each foot that are calf-length at least, sandals or tennis shoes (one had one, one the other), long, straight skirts, beads and bangles. A cross between a 60's hippie chick and and a punk lesbian. One had part of her head shaved, a big stripe on one side halfway between the ear and top of the head, running front to back on the right(?) side. India ink drawings on their hands in Wiccan symbols, I assume, or some other new-age crap. Looked like seniors in an all-girls college for wealthy liberals, out to do their duty liberating all other womyn. Imagine a cross between Cyndi Lauper and Phyllis Diller at 22 with Patricia Ireland (of NOW) thrown in for good measure. Yep, that bad. I was looking around for some guy holding their leashes and throwing them Milk Bones.

Now compare them to what I was protecting, my darling wife. Medium height for a Filipina, about 5'4" or 5'5". A hundred very well-placed pounds. A figure shaped by aerobics, definately well above an A-cup. Near waist-length black hair as straight as an arrow. Legs to kill for, dark eyes a guy can get lost in, skin the color of light cocoa and just as smooth, and a smile than can melt a banker's heart and make a lawyer want to turn honest. A face that would make a Bishop kick in a stained-glass window. She has me wrapped around her little finger, and the boney ones had the audacity to think she needed help with ME?

Just goes to show that a liberal education doesn't make you smart.

-Don

... in response to Boney Wenches, posted by The Walker on May 17, 2002

Hi Don,

You described to a "T," the boney wench that we ran into at the supermarket a few months ago...right down to her Birkenstock sandals, complete with "multicolored socks with the individual toes." LOL I thought that "super-liberal femi-nazi" PETA vegetarian boney winches weren't allowed to wear leather? We had selected the food and were having helium balloons filled for Marife's brother-in-law's birthday party. I had my arm around my wife and had just given her a peck on the cheek. I looked up only to see the boney wench starring at me across the open topped, tub style turkey freezer. You'd have thought I'd just slaughtered a baby seal. She was given me her best "if looks could kill" scowl. I was a bit surprised and starred back giving her the biggest 'she...it' eating grin I could muster. Then I began to laugh, which enraged the boney wench even more. Not having back-up, the boney wench turned and stomped off, just as my wife turned to see why I was laughing so hard. ;o)))

Our second encounter was with an overly-Bootylicious
Beyoncé wannabe, several weeks ago. After a successful morning at the mall, Marife and I stopped at Burger King to bring the boys some lunch. When we entered, "Beyoncé" was standing in line with what appeared to be her younger sister, dressed identically except that all 3 of Destiny's Child appeared to be inside her pants. "Beyoncé" turned around to stare directly at me, shaking her head side to side in a negative manner 7-8 times, as if to say that I wasn't "All That." I never though I was! I was just in a great mood, smiling and talking quietly with my wife. Just as I thought my 95 pound wife was about to give "Beyoncé" the bounce...a friend of mine, the owner, came over to say hello to us. We walked off to the side to talk, he asked what we wanted and sent one of his employees get it. Within a few minutes, we said goodbye and left with our food. Still waiting in line, I think "Beyoncé" would have eaten chicken tenders out of my hand at that point. ;o)))

My wife also had an elderly woman try to give her a business card from her church, in an effort to help her "escape from slavery and abuse." Of course the boney old wench had never met or even seen me before. The woman couldn't get it through her head that an American man would marry an Asian woman for love, instead of for a devoted, faithful servant.

Dave H.

... in response to Ah Yes... the Boney Wenches, posted by Dave H on May 19, 2002

So true! And they never sem to give a thought to the fact that your wife just may have been born in America. Vicky speaks English well enough to pass for a Harvard professor now that she has had practice on a constant basis. In fact her English is better than mine, which has been corrupted by being stationed in southern states, the vernacular from two dozen foreign nations and military slang.

But she often lapses into Tagalog to speak to me in private in a public space. Tagalog is still rather uncommon in the US and especially in our area. We share four languages, not including Tagalog (as I am not very proficient in it, getting little real practice). Together we speak about ten languages, five or six with proficiency. But it is when we speak Tagalog to each other that we get the looks.

Love your description of the second woman. What was it they said in "Steel Magnolias"? It looks like two pigs a' fightin' under her skirt?

I wonder why women automatically assume our Asian ladies are under some sort of BDSM spell? Are they so unhappy that they refuse to believe that an Asian woman can actually, gulp, be in love? I believe it comes down to fear. Fear that American men will find out that Asian women make such excellent wives for all the right reasons (no offense, Lori, and I have two daughters of my own, but they aren't like the majority of AW)? Fear that they may have to compromise to "get a man"? Fear of the competition? I admit it is easier for us. North American men have a really excellent reputation in most nations as being excellent hubby material. Our laws and attitudes regarding women's rights are the envy of women all over the world. There is nothing like them in 99% of the world's nations. Even in Europe, where I have spent considerable time, American man are admired by the local femmes. A pack of GI's come home with German, French, Italian, British, Dutch and Scandanavian wives. The reverse is not so rosy. Lori is an exception and even she is safely ensconsed in America. Lori would be rather foolhardy to move her family to Viet Nam. Not that her husband would be anything but a gem, but because of the standard of living and the attitudes towards women there.

I take it as a personal insult to both parties to automatically assume the poor woman is forced to hand scrub the floors, topless and wearing a thong and spike heels, with hubby standing over her with a lash. They both had ample opportunity to just say no. In many cases, the lady in question has spent a great deal of her available income in advertising for an American hubby. And do you notice the sexual prejudice? I would be willing to bet that Lori and her husband are not pestered by other men trying to get him out from under her "evil spell", but I think she may eventually run into a womyn that gives her grief over her choice of spouse. I hope she snatches the wench baldheaded if and when it happens and that her husband passes out some wolf cookies if a man starts the same thing.

-Don

... in response to Re: Ah Yes... the Boney Wenches, posted by The Walker on May 19, 2002

Hi Don,

My wife has had four coworkers (a Filipino, a Filipina, Haitian and a Jamaican women) question why she married a "white" guy. After all, she could have come to the US on a work (nursing) visa. She told them that she loved me and that was the only reason she was in this country. She left them each speechless. ;oD

My wife had an enlightening experience on the "Filipina Crab Mentality-US Pecking Order" this past Friday. We were in Kmart near our house and my arms were getting full. I saw several empty shopping carts, so I politely asked a lady standing close by if they were hers. She said no, so I placed our merchandise in one. I immediately noticed that she was a Filipina, who appeared to be with her young Filipina daughter and mother. My wife had heard them speaking Bisayan from the other side of a display. She walked around to me, excited and greeted them in Bisayan. I walked off so they could talk in private and went to pick up my son at school. My wife asked how they were and the younger woman's only response was "OK" in Bisayan and walked off with her mother and daughter. If they hadn't seen me, perhaps they might have talked. 10,000 miles away from home in a community with few Filipinos and they still act like BEEITCHES! My wife said that their accent sounded like they may have beeen from her hometown. Fortunately, my wife has a better attitude than I do and chalked it up as a learning experience. As for me, just in case they happen to read this board..."You can kiss my big wide white hairy AZZ"!!!

Dave H.

... in response to ...and   Cruddy Crabs, posted by Dave H on May 19, 2002

Your posts get more funny by the second hehehehe..Your right..bringing our Mahal to America can be met with Jealousy, etc...As loooooong as your Mahal Loooooves You with her whole heart...there is Zero to worry about...The problem for a Guy is being married to a Pinay that doesn't Love Him.... greg

... in response to Hahahaha DaveH :o), posted by greg on May 20, 2002

Hi Greg,

This morning we ate breakfast at Denny's and met a nice Fil/Am couple. They were seated in a booth on the other side of the dinning room. We kept looking at each other. Finally, we met at the cash register.

You're right! "As loooooong as your Mahal Loooooves You with her whole heart...there is Zero to worry about!" My wife has become my best friend, biggest fan, confidant, teammate and lover. :oD

Dave H.

... in response to On the bright side..., posted by Dave H on May 20, 2002

Hi Dave,

I like the Waffle House better :-)))

Does Marife like grits?  The first time Sally tried grits she didn't like them.  But by the third time she saw me enjoying them she started to really dig them.  I guess she'd make a good rebel now.

Jim

... in response to Denny's ?, posted by Jimbo on May 20, 2002

Do ya'll ever eat pig brains scrambled in eggs for breakfast
my granny in Texas cooked them up all the time with biscuits and gravy! Yeee hawwwww!  
HUM

... in response to Denny's ?, posted by Jimbo on May 20, 2002

Hey Jim,

I haven't been in a Waffle House in 7 years, 14 days and 21 hours...but who's counting? :o))) Eventually we will go, as I am over it. When we do, I have a "special" booth picked out. I wouldn't be surprised if the fingernail scratches are still on the table. :oD

Dave H.

... in response to ...and   Cruddy Crabs, posted by Dave H on May 19, 2002

Hey Dave,
     I have experience flipinos on both sides of the
      country. And it's funny that west coast flipinos
     seem to be alot more friendly.

                                        joe mcpino

... in response to Re: ...and   Cruddy Crabs, posted by joemc on May 20, 2002

Hi Joe McPino,

I wonder why that is? Maybe they don't have the peer pressure to get along, since they are "one of the few" on the East coast. I noticed that several Mercedes and Lexus driving Filipino couples at church, didn't readily associate with the simple Filipinos or Fil/Am couples.

Dave H.

... in response to Interesting..., posted by Dave H on May 20, 2002

... they're friendlier to bald ex-merchant seamen in pink shirts than they are to bearded bikers in purple g-strings? Just a thought.. :o)

- Jeff

... in response to Maybe it's just that..., posted by Jeff S on May 20, 2002

...I've cleaned up my act and don't have a single hair left on my face. I've been using my Gillette Mach3Turbo razor in the mornings to cut those hairs below the surface. I also keep my rechargable Remington MicroScreen 3 electric shaver with TCT ("Total Closeness Technology") in the car to keep me smooth in between. My face is now as smooth as my baby's butt. ;o)))

Dave H.

... in response to But Jeff..., posted by Dave H on May 20, 2002

Let me rephrase that: Maybe they're friendlier to bald ex-merchant marines in pink shirts than they are to ex-bikers with faces smoother than a baby's bitt, in purple g-strings. Better?

-- Jeff S. {:o)))

... in response to OK Dave - you win..., posted by Jeff S on May 20, 2002

Hi Jeff,

Maybe I look more like Uncle Fester now  with no hair on my face. 8oO I think my wife is a little jealous that I have hair to shave...those Asian women are so smooth. ;o) I told her that if I wanted hair on a woman...I'd have married a Latina. Actually my ex was pretty smooth too.

Dave H.

... in response to Better..., posted by Dave H on May 20, 2002

Lotsa Filipinas have qualities more like Latinas than Asians in that regard.  I think if my wife read your post she'd have something to say about it, lol.

... in response to Careful..., posted by JephW on May 21, 2002

Hi JephW,

Must be the Spanish blood. ;o))) My wife would be jealous...she sees all of the hairy women here and wishes she had hair. :o(

Dave H.

... in response to Better..., posted by Dave H on May 20, 2002

Uncle Fester look alike contest. I could post pics on the Asian sweetie site and let people vote. There's you, joemc, I'd look pretty close with a bald wig, and any other volunteers?

-- Jeff S.

... in response to We need to have an ..., posted by Jeff S on May 21, 2002

I need to enter a Kapre look alike contest.  I like to sit in trees at night so if I put on 100 lbs or so and light up a big corona I'll be a cinch.  But we have no mango trees so a maple tree will have to do.  I already have Sally's vote :o)

Jim

... in response to Kapre contest, posted by Jimbo on May 22, 2002

Hey Jim,

You've have my vote! Sally says there are lots of trees surrounding your house and you smoke like a chimney. ;o)))

Dave H.

... in response to We need to have an ..., posted by Jeff S on May 21, 2002

Hi Jeff,

My hair is starting to grow back in the bald spots??? Must be something my wife is doing. ;o))

Dave H.

... in response to We need to have an ..., posted by Jeff S on May 21, 2002

I'm pretty bald myself.  I got a sunburn on my head Sunday from standing outside at a party.

- Kevin

... in response to Re: We need to have an ..., posted by kevin on May 21, 2002

Hi Kev,

You should have worn your "sky piece" (hat). ;o))

Dave H.

... in response to Re: We need to have an ..., posted by kevin on May 21, 2002

.. to join in as a contestant in the Uncle Fester look alike contest?

... in response to So Kev, are you volunteering  ..., posted by Jeff S on May 21, 2002

I will take on all challenges. will the real uncle fester
please stand up.             Col joemcfester Saunders

... in response to Re: So Kev, are you volunteering  ..., posted by joemc on May 22, 2002

Hey Joe,

Do you like to blow things up? If so, you've got my vote. I'll grow back my mustache and be your beloved brother Gomez. Kevin can be Pugsley. ;o))) One of the those tall P-L guys can fight over being Lurch. :o{ )

Dave "Gomez" H.

... in response to Stand Up!, posted by Dave H on May 22, 2002

I nominate Humabdos for Lurch -LOL!

Jim

... in response to Pugsley - ROFL!!, posted by Jimbo on May 22, 2002

I always did like him! He was the real brains of the bunch lol!  Humabdos

... in response to Re: So Kev, are you volunteering  ..., posted by joemc on May 22, 2002

Funny that as I happened to open the post, I'm eating a KFC lunch.

- Kevin

... in response to So Kev, are you volunteering  ..., posted by Jeff S on May 21, 2002

I won't do it for free.  This is something I ought to capitalize on.  (ha-ha)

- Kevin

... in response to Boney Wenches, posted by The Walker on May 17, 2002

Don

What  did you  do  with  the  Coon  inners ?  and  are  you  going  to  make  a  Davey Crocket hat for your  grandson  with  the  pelt?

Definately  sounds  like  you  got  the  better  end  of  the  deal  from  your  mall encounter  thats  for  sure.

Windmill Boy