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What ever happened to Felinessa?

... in response to Felinessa???, posted by Craigjjs on Jun 30, 2005

I must admit I wondered about her identity at the beginning (maybe experience has given me a nervous twitch when first making acquaintance with women on the net!!) but I was able to sound her out about her homeland, Romania, and she seemed to check out ok regarding the language, geography etc, so my guess is that the rest of it was probably on the level too. I found her interest slightly odd, but not objectionable.

... in response to Felinessa???, posted by Craigjjs on Jun 30, 2005

About it all and why anybody makes such a whoopala about MOB or cyber brides...  It's all absurd.  The whole notion of guys exploitating women is pure garbage.

I think sometimes it's the guys which are being exploited and led on about the notion of meeting decent women who desire a loving husband... Because, in all reality these ladies are looking for a rich man to provide for them.

Take for instance in the current issue of the Dallas Observer newsmagazine is pages upon pages of ladies offering massage services, yet... We all should know about 1/8 of those ads are real therapeutic touch and the rest is sex for hire.

... in response to Felinessa???, posted by Craigjjs on Jun 30, 2005

No doubt, that Felinessa had it going on....but her inexperience, lack of understanding & real acceptance of what motivates a man to go outside the Continental US & Canada in search of a lifemate...became more of an irritant, than someone who had an "honest" interest IMO!

I'm waiting for the researcher to return from the Cali TLC tour! She "talks" the "I'm going to write an objective report" ying-yang....but I haven't seen one "honest" report from a female researcher, since I've been associated with PL.

We'll just have to wait & see.....

... in response to She "Kissed the Baby", posted by Hoda on Jul 1, 2005

Hoda,

Personally, I don’t really give a rat’s ass if she participates here or not, but I don’t quite understand your reasoning for giving her the boot. She seemed interested in and skeptical of our motives but so what? LP is skeptical of our motives too (LOL!).

I know a lot of guys made some far-fetched assumptions and accusations, but I don’t remember her breaking any forum rules. When somebody attacked her, she spoke up in self-defense (God forbid!). Sure she was young and inexperienced and wasn’t exactly looking for an MOB husband, but is that grounds for getting banned?  It seems more like she got banned for being a woman.

I know that there are a lot of members here who think this is a “men only” forum, but unless the rules have changed recently, I believe that they are wrong.

Ray

... in response to About Felinessa, posted by Ray on Jul 1, 2005


to the crime of "assisted suicide" regarding Felinessa, Ray...

A little history...
- When Felinessa was going through her flamming wars with a poster "S" here on this forum, she emailed me for assistance. I informed Felinessa, that since poster "S" was registered under EU forum, there was nothing I could do, other than forward her request to Patrick. I encouraged her to to hold her ground & stick to the topic & ignore the SOB. Shortly, there after she began posting on the Latin forum.

Things started off ok then...
- There was a description of the men who go "south" tend to be a weee bit more emotional than our brethen who travel east & west (lol). Well....shit sure did get emotional to say the least when Felinessa, touched a few nerves in regards to American history & those that have served in the armed forces. Ray, our core membership here on Pl is "men". IMO, I believe that male members would love to have more female representation here on the board. With the exception of a few Women who post here on PL... The rest have been nothing more than TROLLS or RESEARCHERS bent on posting reports/articles/books on trashing those who have foreign lifemates & those who even consider going abroad. The few Women (Wives/Fiancees" who have posted here, know more of the core membership mentality and are a bit more engaging & choose their battles carefully...

Felinessa's "inexperience" in not knowing & not taking time to learn the audience, "not her intelligence" lead more to her fall from grace. I, was really hoping that she would get my hint & get back on topic, but she kept on & on! After several days, she emailed me & respectfully demanded in being removed from the PL databases in so many words. I waited a couple of days for all to kool down... I then deleted the threads/post(IMO) that I felt were the cause of the flame war. If you noticed, a very nice thread on Peru was started & all was calm.....atleast to PL history anyway (lol).

Ray, I've learned & listened to Patrick, that one will never be able to please all here...so I don't even try! You've brought up some valid points & I wish that more women (with more than an ax to grind) & wives would post on the Latin forum, but they're too busy taking care of business....

P.S. Felinessa, knows she is free to return, when she wants too....all she has to do is drop me a line!

... in response to I plea Guitly...., posted by Hoda on Jul 4, 2005

O.K., fair enough. I didn’t realize that she had privately requested to be removed.

I think the reason that not many women post on the forums is because of the unfriendly welcome that many women get from some of the regulars. Some guys just automatically think that she must be troll if she dares to express an opinion, especially one that they don’t agree with.

I agree that there have been a lot of women dropping in that were on a mission to trash us, but there have also been a lot of very helpful lady posters, but maybe more so on the Asian forum. We have had women members who are in this thing just the same as most of us are. Maybe you caught the story of Lori on the Asian forum who was searching for a foreign husband and ended up going to Viet Nam, filing a fiancé petition, and then getting burned by the a-hole, just like what happened to a lot of the men here. I think her participation added a valuable perspective to this whole thing and I would hate to see all of the potential women members scared away by a few ass holes who just can’t handle civil communication with an intelligent woman.

If you happened to catch Felinessa’a introductory post here, with the subject “hey everyone” 6/10/05, you would see that she came here peacefully and politely introduced herself, explaining her interest in the MOB thing. That isn’t how the typical troll/troublemaker arrives on the forum. Of course, she was immediately attacked by some bozo who hates women and accused of her of lying and other things. Not a very warm welcome and the kind of nonsense that makes us men look like idiots IMHO.

When she announced that she was leaving the forum because of the personal attacks, I confess that I invited her to participate in the Asian and Latin forums if she wished to. So, I’m guilty as hell… LOL!

Personally, when some “macho” male on the forum tries to run off a new woman poster just because she is a woman, I think I’ll continue to give him a piece of my mind whether he likes it or not, at least until the rules are changed making this an all-male forum… :-)

Ray

... in response to Re: I plea Guitly....me too!, posted by Ray on Jul 4, 2005

I remember Lori. She was a good egg and you're right to call her X an a-hole (at least until we can think of a stronger word for his kind). I hope she finds a guy (US or Asian) who will treat her right. And I always like to read Febtember's posts, she's always so positive and upbeat. Following her naritives about her adjustment to life in the US and her family life always makes me feel "Yes! This is the way things are SUPPOSSED to work out." Her husband is indeed a blessed man.....I'd like more women posters like those two and fewer 'researchers'. OTOH, some guys did lite into Felinessa with undeserved (and unfounded) personal attacks....which she tried to blame on ME instead of the ones who actually did it.

... in response to She "Kissed the Baby", posted by Hoda on Jul 1, 2005

Hoda,

I’m also a little suspicious of Felicity, the MOB researcher. Did you notice when I asked her if she could post the transcripts of some of her presentations she ignored me? Is she hiding something? If she took any Women’s Studies courses at San Diego State University while she was there, then that is a  H U G E  red flag (LOL).

I looked her up on the net and found that she has done speaking engagements at several colleges and universities with subject titles like:

1. "Transnational Masculinity on 'Planet Love': Cyber-Adventures to Find a Latina Bride."

2. "Planet-Love.com: Cyber-brides and Transnational Masculinity between Latin America and the U.S."

I think it would be interesting to see what she was telling those young college students about us :-)

Ray

... in response to Female Researchers, posted by Ray on Jul 1, 2005

From:
http://www.ucop.edu/acadadv/ppfp/schaeffer-grabiel-cv.pdf

If anyone who wants to chat with her about her feminist drivel... her number is below!
-------------------------------
Felicity Schaeffer-Grabiel
Home Office
2593 Redwood Drive Latin American
Aptos, CA 95003
831-687-0232

University of California, Santa Cruz
Merrill College / Casa Latina /Latino Studies
fsg@ucsc.edu
831-459-3451
Santa Cruz, CA 95064

EDUCATION
Ph.D, November 2003 American Studies Department, minor: Advanced Feminist Studies
University of Minnesota, Minneapolis, MN
Dissertation Title: “Cyber-brides between the U.S. and Mexico: Transnational Imaginaries,
Marriage and Migration”
Advisors: Jennifer L. Pierce –Director, Center for Advanced Feminist Studies and
American Studies Department
Catherine Ceniza Choy – Professor, American Studies Department
M.A. 1996-1998: Latin American Studies, minor in Women’s Studies
University of Arizona, Tucson, AZ
Thesis: “Interracial Romance Narratives in U.S. and Mexican Popular Culture”
B.A. 1989-1994: English and Creative Writing
San Diego State University, San Diego, CA
FELLOWSHIPS & AWARDS
2003-2004 UC President’s Postdoctoral Fellowship, University of California, Santa Cruz
2003-2004 Junior Scholar’s Fellowship, Pitzer College, Claremont, California, finalist
2002-2003 Dissertation Fellowship, Chicana/Latina Research Center, University of California, Davis
Fall 2002 Humanities Institute Fellowship, University of Minnesota
2001-2002 MacArthur Research Fellowship, University of Minnesota
Summer 2000 MacArthur International Pre-Dissertation Fieldwork Research Grant, Univ. of Minnesota
1998-Present MacArthur Scholar Fellowship, University of Minnesota
Fall 2000 Personal Narratives Award, Center for Advanced Feminist Studies, Univer. of Minnesota
1996-1998 Graduate Minority Fellowship, University of Arizona
PUBLICATIONS
“Cyber-brides and Global Imaginaries: Mexican women’s turn from the national to the foreign” Space and Culture Journal, 7(1): February 2004.
“Mixed Race and Third Wave Feminism.” Feminist Waves, Feminist Generations, Duke University Press, Forthcoming Spring 2004.
Book Review: Modern Babylon? Prostituting Children in Thailand by Heather Montgomery. New York: Berghahn Books, 2001. In Contemporary Sociology: A Journal of Reviews. November 2002, 31: 691-692.
“Surfing the Internet for Love and Brides: Nationalism and Desire between the Boundaries of Latin America and the U.S.,” XI Jornada de Estudos Americanos: “Raizes e Rumos/Roots and Routes,” Summer 2000.
TEACHING EXPERIENCE
Graduate Instructor:
Chicano Studies: Chicana/Latinas and Globalization, University of California Davis, Spring 2003
Chicano Studies 1105: Olmecs to 1875, University of Minnesota, Fall 1999
Chicano Studies 1106: Creative Works and Social Movements: Chicanas/os from 1875 - present, University of Minnesota, Spring 2000
Teaching Assistant/Recitation Leader:
American Studies 1003: American Cultures 1945—Present, Summer Institute for Students of Color, University of Minnesota, Summer 1999
Latin American Studies 100: Introduction to Latin America, University of Arizona, 1997
Mexican-American Studies 180: Introduction to Mexican-American Studies, The University of Arizona, Fall 1996 - Spring 1997
WORK/PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE
University of Minnesota
Mentor, MacArthur Student of Color Mentorship Program, Summer, 2001
Más(s) Color Graduate Recruitment/Retention Organizer, Spring 2001
Research Assistant, Professor Catherine Ceniza Choy, Fall 2000
Co-Coordinator, Summer Institute for Mujeres Activas en Letras para cambio social (MALCS), Spring–Summer 1999
Research Assistant, Professor David Roediger, Winter 1998
University of Arizona
Internship, Southwestern Institute for Research on Women, Spring 1998
Research Assistant, Environmental Border Conference, Fall 1997
CONFERENCE PRESENTATIONS
“Beyond ‘La Chicana’: Building the Chicana/o Latina/o Studies Curriculum,” MALCS (Activist Women in the University for Social Change), August 10-12, 2003.
“Cyber-brides and Global Imaginaries,” National Association for Ethnic Studies Conference, Phoenix,
Arizona, April 3-5, 2003.
“Internet Encounters in Latin America: Local and Global Constructions of Sexuality, Gender, and the Family,” Berkshire History of Women, University of Connecticut, June 6-8, 2002.
“Forging Multiple Cyber-publics in the aftermath of Migration,” National American Studies Conference, Washington D.C., October 2001.
“Planet Love’s Chat Room: Feminist Ethnographic Methodologies,” National Women Studies Conference (NWSA), Minneapolis, MN, June 13-17th, 2001.
“Transfrontera/Transborder Ethnography: Internet Brides from Latin America,” 18th Qualitative Analysis Conference, Toronto, Canada, May 16th-19th, 2001.
“Internet Encounters Across the Americas: Local and Global Constructions of Sexuality, Gender and the Family,” Reshaping the Americas: Narratives of Place Conference, Irvine, California, April 20-21, 2001.
“Surfing the Internet for Love and Brides: Nationalism and Desire between the Boundaries of Latin America and the US,” Asociacão Brasileira de Estudos Americanos (ABEA), Niterói, Brazil, June 14-16, 2000.
“Border Hopping to the Beat of a New Chicana Feminism,” National Association for Chicano Studies (NACS), Portland, Oregon, March 23-25, 2000
“Love for Sale: Transnational Companies on the Internet,” 3rd Annual Graduate Symposium in Romance Studies, University of Minnesota, April 10, 1999
“Surfing the Internet for Love and Brides: Nationalism and Desire between the US and Mexico,” Annual Meeting of the American Studies Association (ASA), Montreal, Canada, October 28-31, 1999
“Como agua para chocolate: Sexuality and Desire: Reimagining the Mexican Female Body,” Latin American Studies Association, Chicago, IL, September 24-26, 1998.
“Mainstreaming Ethnic and Sexual Boundaries: Interracial Romance Narratives in Film,” Annual Sexuality and Queer Studies Conference, University of Arizona, Fall 1997
INVITED LECTURES & PRESENTATIONS
“Cyber-brides and Global Imaginaries: Mexican Women’s Turn from the National the Foreign,” Chicana/Latina Research Center, UC Santa Cruz, November 28th, 2003.
“Cyber-brides and the Trafficking of Women?” “Globalization, Gender and Identity,” Professor
Margaret Swain, University of California, Davis, May 22, 2003.
“Erotic Borders,” Guest Lecture, Chicano Studies, “U.S.-Mexico Borderlands”, Professor Miroslava Chavez-García, University of California, Davis, October 21, 2002.
“Ethnographer as Cupid,” Paper Presented at the Brown Bag Series of the MacArthur Interdisciplinary Program, University of Minnesota, November 6, 2000
“Globalizing Love and Romance,” La Raza Panel Presentation (“Mujeres and the Global Economy”). Annual Mexican Independence Day Events, University of Minnesota, September 21, 2000
“Internet Brides from Latin America,” Guest lecture, WS 5501, “Women and Popular Culture,” Instructor Jodi Horne, University of Minnesota, July 15, 1999
“Revolutionary Women of Latin America,” Guest Lecture, LAS 101, “Introduction to Latin American Studies,” Professor Diana Liverman, University of Arizona, October 8, 1997
PROFESSIONAL MEMBERSHIPS
American Studies Association (ASA)
Mujeres Activas para Cambio Social (MALCS)
National Association for Chicano Studies (NACS)
Latin American Studies Association (LASA)
National Women Studies Association (NWSA)
National Association for Ethnic Studies (NAES)
Berkshire History of Women Association
American Sociological Association (ASA)
Ethnography Association of Canada
LANGUAGES
Spanish (Fluent)
Portuguese (Fluent comprehension and reading)
French (Semi-Fluent/Read fluent)

... in response to Female Researchers, posted by Ray on Jul 1, 2005

[This message has been edited by Hoda]

that we should expect a moderate size tidal wave of "researchers & just interested trolls" in the very near future....

With my 12D's & crack CSI Anti-Troll-Team...we'll stomp the roaches as they post :-) Hey Patrick, you better get ready for a tidal wave of "new" user request...lol

... in response to Felinessa???, posted by Craigjjs on Jun 30, 2005

Looks like the Latin Board moderator gave her the axe. Why? I really don't know. I think there are few guys on these forums that just can't handle a female on board, especially an avowed feminist (LOL)

Ray

... in response to Re: Felinessa???, posted by Ray on Jul 1, 2005

[This message has been edited by LP]


**I think there are few guys on these forums that just can't handle a female on board, especially an avowed feminist**

Ain't that the truth. I didn't agree with all she said on some other points because much of it reflected her youth and inexperience but I didn't feel she was a avowed feminist, just a typical modern day woman who demands she be treated as an equal in all aspects of her relation, as she should be. And I'm willing to bet it will be no hindrance to her being a good wife and companion as long as she is treated as such.

Her real value was in showing what happens to an EE woman when education is combined with travel. She proves yet again that women are the same everywhere once cultural influences or oppression have been removed. Those who think FSU women are any different or the neanderthals who're seeking a meek mate from the FSU are, in most cases, in for a rude awakening if they think those women will remain exactly the way they were back home. This does not mean they will make bad wives, that they will abandon the good qualities they possess, or that they will be a bear to live with...unless they're married to bad husbands who refuse to accept this equality as normal and morally correct.

... in response to Re: Felinessa???, posted by LP on Jul 1, 2005

I think Felinessa referred to herself at least once as a feminist but I could be mistaken. From some of her comments, it was obvious that she had been somewhat brainwashed by those lesbian Women’s Studies professors in college, but at least she was willing to consider the possibility that the feminist propaganda was just that.

I noticed that she was at least polite when she arrived here but she certainly didn’t take any crap when she was attacked by some of the men. She did like to debate though and I think that turned off a lot of the guys.

Personally, I was never turned on by the idea of a subservient wife, but I think I understand those who are looking for that quality in a spouse. But like you said, it probably ain’t gonna last long after that foreign bride gets acclimated to her new environment, so they should enjoy it while they can.

Ray

... in response to Felinessa???, posted by Craigjjs on Jun 30, 2005

On the latin forum I believe I read someone e mailed her & "Felinessa" was a HE on his way to a TLC get together somewhere. Don't quote me on that but since I've been hanging at both here AND the Latin board I believe I read that. Go figure man?!

... in response to Not sure how reliable this is but ...., posted by Frank O on Jun 30, 2005

Frank, you (or someone on the Latin Board) was confusing two different female posters. The other female (Felicity) was really a female and was writing a book on the MOB subject. That's why she was attending an agency social event in Colombia, mostly to interview some of the male participants.

I don’t know why Felinessa got banned. I guess you would have to ask Hoda.

Ray

... in response to Actually..., posted by Ray on Jul 1, 2005

I didn't really pay attention that's why I had the caveat. Thanks for the correction. I've been getting a LOT of those lately.

... in response to Well like I said I don't know how reliab..., posted by Frank O on Jul 1, 2005

testing