BLONDE ON THE SUN - A Russian, an American, and a
Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what?
We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied,
"We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench
talking...and one blonde says to the other: "Which do you think is
farther away....Florida or the moon? "The other blonde turns
and says, "Helloooooooooo,
can you see Florida...?????
CAR TROUBLE - A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas
station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few
minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies,
"Just crap in the carburetor." She asks,
"How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET - A police officer stops a blonde for
speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just
yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show
it to you!"
KNITTING - A highway patrolman pulled alongside a
speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see
that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she
was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down
his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled , "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
IN A VACUUM - A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit
one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on
Science & Nature. Her question was,
"If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can
you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked,
"Is it on or off?"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLOND JOKES! - A
girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and
asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that
one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone
naming dogs like that?" "Hellllllllooo," answered the blonde.
"They're watch dogs!"