Print Page - Any hope for this lady and me?

I have now spent total of 62 days with Sveta (not her real name) over 4 trips including about 30 consecutive days on the last trip. I always meet multiple ladies on my trips, but have ended up spending the most time with Sveta on the last 4 trips, particularly on the last trip. I go for business, not just for the ladies.

I have never gone to FSU with the goal of getting married; however, now it appears that I have met a near perfectly compatible lady. Not to mention pretty, charming, intelligent, highly educated, tall, slender, and sexy with good English skills. Oh, and yes, she is excellent cook and does all housework in a whirlwind with no requests for help or complaints about doing such. If I offer to help, she protests that she enjoys doing things for me and that it would not be nice for me to deprive her of this pleasure.

We have had no arguments, very few minor disagreements . . . and mostly are in total bliss when we are together. We agree on foods, music, entertainment, exercise, what to do each day, etc. We can talk nonstop about hundreds of different topics. Neither of us wants additional children. And very consequential for me, a self admitted sex addict, she has a very strong sex drive and can keep up with me in bed, on a chair, on the floor, in a tub etc. Actually given that she is in her sexual prime at late 30s age, me being 15 years older, and her being a woman, she can surpass me if she decides to.

Also importantly for me, she probably has a higher IQ than myself although she protests this is not true. I find intelligent (or clever as they say) women very attractive and am not the least bit frightened by it. I have questioned her about our age difference. She says she has never met a man as interesting as me and doesn’t think any younger man could be. And she says I am more physically active than was her husband of 16 years who is 13 years younger than me.

But, of course, there is are some hitches. These problems have been kept in the background due to our infrequency of meetings and that we mostly devote ourselves to each other when we are together (she has taken a lot of vacation time). But they will come roaring to the fore if we were to be together continuously long-term.

One concerns her career. She has a prestigious professional position but with the typically ridiculous low pay of professionals in the FSU where there has developed an inverted relationship between education and pay. She does not want to give up this job, even though I earn from my investment portfolio alone as much in about 3 weeks as she
earns all year. I have suggested it, but simply my paying her the equivalent to stop working will not do the trick. She says she needs to do something on her own so that she can keep bringing back interesting conversation to our time together. She says that
otherwise she is afraid I will become bored with her. I can’t disagree with her logic, but the situation is still preposterous to work those hours for so little money when it would be totally unnecessary from an economic standpoint and when it leaves me alone.

Second, she does not want to leave her city or country. That is mostly OK with me as I don’t need to work and can live anywhere. However, given her desire to work full time, it would leave me with too much time on my hands in a country where I have no friends, no language skills, facing the general gloominess of the people, the terrible service of the country, medical care, etc. If she would stop working and spend all days with me, this would mitigate the problems from my viewpoint, but apparently that is not to be.

Third, she has a late teens child, a sibling, and two living parents that she is devoted to. OK, sure, this is to be expected. But it is all in the degree. When Sveta and I are away from her family at a vacation site, we are in heaven oblivious to all else. But when we
return to the homesite, she spends most of the time talking with or being concerned about her family. She tries to comfort me by coming past for a kiss on the cheek or neck once in a while, but I know her mind is elsewhere. I also have a family, but we are not close and it will cause zero problems.

So my expectations are that, if I would move to her country to live, she would be away at work during the days, and during evenings and weekends she would be involved with, talking on the phone to, or be thinking about her family.

It is very frustrating to have perhaps found the perfect gal, but the perfection only applies when we are on vacation and no one else is around.

Anyone have experience in this regard? Please don’t just state what we already know . . . . . that FSU families are very devoted to each other. Does our relationship stand a chance, given the specific circumstances I have spelled out? Any suggested solutions?

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GoodWife / Planet-Love Archives => Threads started in 2004 => Topic started by: Albert on November 13, 2004, 05:00:00 AM