Planet-Love.com Searchable Archives

I know this is going to be a bit of a dumb question and I have sorta already formed an opinion of my own, but I'd like to see others opinion on this. I realize it's typical when a woman first begins writing for her to use pre-written letters...sorta to weed out who she is and is not interested in. But how many letters would this continue for before a red flag goes up? I got a letter from a lady, 6th letter, it's word for word the same as her third...except for a little change in the beginning of the letter. Seems to me that it would be normal for the first few, maybe up to three letters to be pre-written form letters, but 6?

... in response to Receiving Emails, posted by Travis on Sep 25, 2003

and maybe it is good to keep in mind that
after you are sure it is a fake letter scam,
it is not such a great idea to be giving that writer
new lessons on why you did not believe them.
when i have got those kind of scam letters,
it can be  satisfying to reply & mention that
i thought it to be fake at the start [and why]..
but i'd rather save time, quit them, and give them no more
info on how to improve their fiction letters for the next guy.  

... in response to Re: Receiving Emails, posted by peter2s on Sep 28, 2003

I wrote back to her and said "you already said this to me and I answered". I should have just not answered at all. Good advice, thanks

... in response to Receiving Emails, posted by Travis on Sep 25, 2003

I learned from an earlier mistake before I found this board to be very careful about international love.  My wife and I have discussed this and it is very prevalent over there for a girl to be recruited by an agency to simply pose for some photographs for money and receive a monthly income from correspondence.

Do not be completely discouraged because there are very many beautiful girls that would love to meet a nice man.  Many of my wife's girlfriends never thought of international marriage because they were told many false stories about American men but when Anna and I married they all wanted to know if there where other American men like me.

I'm no genious or expert but my criteria was that she needed to give me her telephone number and address by the third letter or it was over.  I didn't realize that about 25% or more of the girls don't have their own telephone there but if they are interested they will give you their friends telephone number and they will be sure to be there when you say you will call.

Travis,  this is just me but I never sent a scripted letter or email to any girl and any girl that ever sent the same to me was immediately eliminated.  I read your tragic story and I am very sorry for your terrible experience.  Keep in mind that in every culture there is good and bad.

If you have any questions or just need a sounding board I'd be happy to help.

Best of luck,
Allen

... in response to Receiving Emails, posted by Travis on Sep 25, 2003

It's a shame that there are so many dishonest women on these sites. I've met scammers in agencies and the free personals both. Agencies which help a woman with translation can be dishonest.  It's not always easy to tell if the woman you are writing to genuinely likes you or is receiving a payback from the agency on the money she's bringing into them with her letters.  Keep checking the scammer sites.  As we try and build a friendship, it would be nice if our only concern was whether or not a woman is going to like us, not whether she is going to try and scam us.

... in response to Receiving Emails, posted by Travis on Sep 25, 2003

6 does seem bad. Usually the first 3. I would say.I would recommend placing an ad for YOU. Then YOU get to respond to them. I did that & I'll be getting married in a couple of weeks/days.

... in response to Receiving Emails, posted by Travis on Sep 25, 2003

If you don't have the girls physical address (where she lives) And you don't have an actual telephone #, imho....you are wasting your time.  Unless of course you like writing letters.  And,  don't send any $$$.

... in response to Receiving Emails, posted by Travis on Sep 25, 2003

Travis, I have had instances where the scam was pretty obvious (all letters "canned" and not relating to anything I'd said in my letters.) I have also had a combination of the two; that is, out of a string of letters with one girl, I have received specific references to my own letters and questions, but intermingled with these was a letter which contained 2 paragraphs that were identical to one of her previous letters, word for word. I had this girl's postal address (I was only using email for speed) so I wrote her by registered post in Russian to tell her that the agency she was using  for translation/emails was probably not translating her letters accurately. They were probably making a lot of it up, or cutting and pasting from their archives. I understand that she was paying them, probably by the word, so it was in their interests to "fatten up" the letters.  

I am still in contact with this girl, but only by registered post and telephone. And I hope to meet her this autumn.

By the way, do you have this lady's home address and/or telephone? The agency won't want to give them to you because they don't want to kill the goose that lays the golden eggs, but if you can get this information it will indicate that she is probably for real. Otherwise, after 6 generic letters, it's probably time to kick it into touch before you build your hopes up further, and concentrate on other more promising prospects.

... in response to Re: Receiving Emails, posted by Streetwise on Sep 26, 2003

No, I don't have an address or phone number. She hasn't asked for any money...yet, I suspect that's due soon if I write back. Too bad, she's drop dead gorgeous and seems perfect in every way. Which is likely how she wants to sound and look.

I just had another whom I thought had serious potential tell me her agency needed $99.95 a month to continue the email and translations. I think it's time to drop that too.

I have one other that I'm waiting to ask for money. Her last letter, third, was VERY sexually explicit. I won't go into detail :-)

... in response to Re: Re: Receiving Emails, posted by Travis on Sep 26, 2003

For a guy who has just been raked through the coals by a Russian ex-wife, you don't seem to have learned anything.  I felt bad for you when LP laid into last week but apparently he was too soft on you because you are carrying on like you have no idea what bad things might await you with the wrong woman.

Drop every one of these users and try to find someone who is actually decent.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Receiving Emails, posted by lswote on Sep 27, 2003

[This message has been edited by LP]

... I was kinda floored at all that myself but you know, not my place to say anything. Powerful queer he's chompin at the bit so soon...or is it? Not really, if one looks at how the majority of men react to failed relationships. And MOB types seem even more bizzare on the rebound.

As for those who say we need such posts...come on. Are MOB men *that* stupid? Do they really need this kind of "education" to learn stuff that's common sense? Stuff we all should've learned by the time we were 16?

Keerist, next we'll be hearing about how you shouldn't marry a girl after two weeks or simply because she's hot, never to send her money, or that you shouldn't believe everything she tells you. What stuns me is that guys do it by the thousands.

Just bloody amazing what I read here sometimes. Hey Doc, you listening?

... in response to Yeah...., posted by LP on Sep 30, 2003

Got a point...explain this...your reason for being in this forum........This is what you put in your profile....I think your just bored and have no life.....maybe your a bit sick. Get some counciling.....not from us by the way.

interested alright....interested as to what makes these guys tick!

... in response to Re: Yeah...., posted by Travis on Sep 30, 2003

[This message has been edited by LP]

...deleted. Served it's purpose.

... in response to Uh..., posted by LP on Sep 30, 2003

you do a great job of balancing
the board and bringing reality
into the subject, even if in a
sometimes rough manner. Better
for someone to be a little roughed
up here than going through pain and
misery later. Besides, men should have
a sense of political unity in regards
to this subject - a sense of wanting to
look out for each other as fellow men, and also
fellow Americans (and Westerners - don't want
to leave out our Canadian, British,Aussie and
Scandanavian brothers).

As I have said
before, most Western men are shark
bait in FSU. If they would do their
homework before leaping headfirst into
the abyss and apply some common sense to
human relations and behavior
it would go a long way to avoiding a crash and
burn scenario.

As has been said, "an ounce of prevention
is worth a pound of cure."

I hereby dubb you "Keeper of the pooch" :)-

... in response to Uh..., posted by LP on Sep 30, 2003

Do me a small favor then...do please cut me a little slack. I know and have admitted over and over again my mistakes. I'll explain them when I can. I have a few more weeks of legal issues and the b1tch has a few more weeks of vacation. After October 8th, I'll give the whole story...once she's in county jail :-) Peace till then?

BTW, I ain't nuthin like DavidSD...I'm not a genius...at least I don't think I am. I don't even know what IQ number is a genius. I doubt he does either. Also, I don't watch nascar....or the Astros anymore :-)

... in response to Ok....., posted by Travis on Sep 30, 2003

I don't think anyone here is "gunning" for you...just the opposite.  Whereby everyone likes success stories, failures are important to warn others of the dangers in this pursuit
and the need to be cautious.  LP is right in that any woman is capable of a con and "Academy Award" performances.  

So.........please continue your story and tell us what you could have done better, and what you will do better the next time.  And, always cover your ass with a pre-nup!!!

... in response to Re: Ok....., posted by Globetrotter on Oct 1, 2003

I'm glad I'm not the only one who would like to see Travis continue posting his story.

... in response to Re: Re: Ok....., posted by Richard on Oct 2, 2003

...but only out of curiousity. I mean, do you really think he can be totally objective after what he's been through? Can anyone in that situation? Old DSD sure wasn't.

I think Travis is an alright kinda guy but I wonder if there is really anything to be learned. I guess we'll find out. But if not, it serves no real purpose. It'll have no more value than Jerry Springer and I for one see little point in having another man's misfortune publicized. Unless there were some mighty strange and unusual circumstances it's really not valuable and I hope Travis is capable of making the distiction. If nothing else, I suppose his experience could be veiwed as a simple deterrent.

... in response to Ok....., posted by Travis on Sep 30, 2003

.....slack it is then. And I regret you got bent. I know I can be abrasive at times, I've heard it before. No, you're nothing like the SD man was but if you recall I'm also one of the very few who had any sympathy for him. And this is after he was warned many times he was making a mistake.

I really do care. Making mistakes is OK, making then over again is not. I hate to see anyone get hurt, especially when they do it to themselves. God knows there's enough people in the world willing to do it for us. Just be careful out there and we'll get along fine. You try harder to use caution and I'll try harder to write with WmGo's class and eloquence.

Btw, simply by realizing you're not a genius puts you well on the path to being one...

... in response to Yeah...., posted by LP on Sep 30, 2003

[This message has been edited by Travis]

This message was deleted

... in response to Hey Stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Travis on Sep 30, 2003

nt

... in response to Hey Stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Travis on Sep 30, 2003

nt

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Receiving Emails, posted by lswote on Sep 27, 2003

Some of us, me included, can be a little slow on the uptake at times.  While I can't speak for Travis, I suspect that he suspects something isn't quite right and that is why he is asking questions.  I am lucky enough to have a good friend I can ask this type to off board.  

Travis, keep asking questions - it's better than being taken. (I'm speaking from my personal experience here.)

This is a place to come learn. While those of us without the greatest social skills may be an embarrassment to those with highly polished social skills, the only way we can improve is by trying.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Receiving Emails, posted by Richard on Sep 27, 2003

True enough, but he should have a little more first hand experience than the average newbie now that he has had first hand experience with a scammer.  It seems like all the women were pretty suspect and he should have a little bit better indicators of his own by now, particularly with a woman sending sexually explicit letters.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Receiving Emails, posted by lswote on Sep 28, 2003

Reality often differs from the ideal situation (ideal as in should have more experience). Some people, like me, catch on more slowly in this area than many. When I was involved with my ex fiance, this board was the best clue I had that it wasn't what it should be.

I think that this type of post is useful so that people can look at them and hopefully not bring over someone that they shouldn't. I think that while you do make a good point, you are discouraging people from coming forth and posting loosing oportunities for people (both the poster and potential readers) to learn.

Instead of making posts about what a lousy job you think the poster is doing, would it be possible for you to concentrate on the positve, like how he recoginized a less than ideal situation and what can be done to improve / avoid situations like this?

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Receiving Emails, posted by lswote on Sep 27, 2003

See, stupid people do learn...sometimes the hard way. There wasn't anything in my previous post regarding me sending cash or getting my butt over there to marry as soon as possible.

... in response to Receiving Emails, posted by Travis on Sep 25, 2003

Travis,

I agree with everyone below.

I would not be shy in your letters. Be direct - ask a question and only one question and if there is not a response to the question, write back to her stating that it seems that the letter is canned as she did not respond to your letter. Ask her what gives and that if she does not respond personally to your letters you will not continue to write to her.

... in response to Re: Receiving Emails, posted by thesearch on Sep 25, 2003

I wrote to Russian women before deciding on Latin women and one trick that I had pulled on me a couple times, is instead of answering my questions, they would say something along the lines of "Why didn't you answer my questions?  Perhaps you are selfish and feel that it isn't necessary which explains your past problems with women."

This really threw me the first few times I got letters along those lines because I hadn't kept copies of the letters I had emailed them and I couldn't remember what I said or what they said to me and so I thought somehow I had insulted them but couldn't remember how.  So I spent my whole next letter to them trying to explain to them that there must be a misunderstanding.  And of course they requested money to have my letters translated.  

The thing was that it kept me distracted from seeing that THEY weren't answering MY questions.  And it gave them a seemingly legitimate reason to ask for a little money.  When I started keeping copies of everything I sent and then referred back to those letters when women made remarks like that, I then realized that these were nothing more than sophisticated form letters trying to keep you from noticing you are not actually having a conversation with a real person and the request for money was a small scam to get a few dollars from you before you realized you didn't actually have a relationship.

... in response to Re: Re: Receiving Emails, posted by lswote on Sep 26, 2003

For me it was no problem as once I asked a question I expected an answer. Then, when I would ask why she did not answer the question in a subsequent letter and the response to that letter also came back as though my letter with its questions did not exist, I wrote back telling the lady that I was no longer interested in her because her letters were obviously canned and not written to me personally.

... in response to Receiving Emails, posted by Travis on Sep 25, 2003

First letter canned - ok.

Second letter canned - not ok.

Therefore, "the writing is on the wall" :o

... in response to Receiving Emails, posted by Travis on Sep 25, 2003

Do a flower and photo test to the ladies you're interested in. Just to make sure that they exist and ask specific questions.The right lady is out there waiting for you,I'm sure you'll find her.

... in response to Receiving Emails, posted by Travis on Sep 25, 2003

By the second letter someone should be responding to the questions you asked them (you are asking questions, right?, not just talking about yourself?).  Obviously if the third and sixth letter are pretty much the same she is just talking about herself or asking questions and not responding to your questions.  This person seems to me at the best uninterested, and at the worst setting you up for a scam.