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I just want to share some of my experiences, observations & make some suggestions.  First off, I started my search in Oct of 2000.  So it has taken me about 2.5 years to find Dina.  During that time I learned a lot from the discussion board but much more from experience (good & bad).

1. PRE-MEETING COMMUNICATION CAN BE MEANINGLESS.  I communicated with Olga from St Pete for 9 months via email & phone calls and the main purpose of my April trip was to meet her.  But it took only 1 dinner to realize the chemistry wasn’t there.

2. HAVE A PLAN B.  Before I left on my April trip, I contacted a local St Pete agency that was suggested to me by Jack Bragg: Ksenia’s Dating.  So after realizing Olga was not going to work out, I visited Ksenia’s office and the first girl that I selected from her many profiles is now my girlfriend.  Ksenia was a pleasure to work with, spoke good English, had a huge selection of girls’ profiles to choose from and had a convenient office in the city center near the Radisson SAS.

3. ENGLISH IS ESSENTIAL.  It’s difficult enough for a man & a women to communicate who are from the same country and speak the same language!  Throw in a language barrier and your probability for a successful long-term relationship is less.

4. BE POLITE.  Open doors, help them with their chair at restaurants, etc.  Just common sense politeness but it can go a long way with impressing a girl.  I would bet they don’t get much politeness out of most Russian men.

5. ORDER FOR THEM.  This isn’t practiced much here in the states but Dina expected me to order for her, even though my Russian is near-zero.  Most of the waiters & waitresses understand enough English for you to get by.

6. BE DECISIVE.  The Russian girls are looking to you to make decisions.  They see it as a sign of strength and they want their man to be strong.  So avoid making statements like, “it doesn’t matter to me, you decide”.

7. YOU ARE PROUD TO BE SEEN WITH HER.  Tell her that you are proud to be with her in public.  Dina brought this up with me by saying, “you haven’t mentioned that you are proud to be with me when we’re out.  Are you?”

8.  PAY FOR EVERYTHING.  When you’re out with your girl, pay for everything.  I learned this the hard way.  On my July trip, Dina stayed with me in a rented apartment but she forgot her hair brush.  So when we were out walking, she stopped to buy one and I didn’t step up & pay for it.  So I got the cold shoulder/silent treatment for the next hour.  This is a classic culture difference because many American girls would get offended if you tried to pay for their hair brush.

9.  A RING?  Since July was my 2nd time seeing Dina, I was already fairly sure about our feelings for each other.  So I bought a very modest diamond ring ($500), knowing that I could return it in 30 days for a full refund OR I could upgrade it in the future.  I waited until the end of my trip to present it to her and she was very surprised & happy.

10. RENT AN APARTMENT.  This worked out better for me on both my trips.  You have a full kitchen if you want to cook.  It is more like a home than a hotel room, so it is easier for you and your lady to be more comfortable.  I can make a strong recommendation: Oksana at www dot oksanas dot net.  She offers airport transportation at a reasonable rate.  The flat rental rates are reasonable.  The apartments are clean, well-decorated, well-equipped and the photos of them on her website are very accurate.  Both apartments were with minutes of Nevsky Prospect in the city center.  Her English is fluent.

Feel free to contact me directly with any questions: pmo5992445@aol.com

Good luck to all with your search!  The rewards can be priceless.

Just remember every single failure was preceeded by where you are now and every single person involved though it would be bliss. Try to keep a level head from here on and maybe you'll be one of the lucky ones.

I guess years without such "success" makes a man a little more receptive....tired of the hunt so to speak. It's something to watch the POTB in action, especially when applied to MOB. It's why I'm fascinated with this motley crew. Still, I wish you the best.

Seems that of late, many have come forward to tell of horror stories of their FSU wives, soon to be ex-wives.  Being a realist is sometimes very difficult.  I read of one fellow here, who will remain nameless, who is old enough to know better....but to each their own.  Someday, they will find out all are the same, and even if you start with better stock, maybe, they will soon become "Americanized" which is right where we all are now!  Mind you, I am not immune.  I adore my squeeze, who has been very supportive in a difficult time for me.  We continue to write, but I've not seen her for a while, and she knows my jury is still out.  Risk vs. reward....Risk vs. reward.....and cover your ass.  And, I liked the camera idea!

Like you, I know a few guys who used to post here but have quietly slipped away because they did everything mostly right (thats something coming from me) and it exploded anyway because they were blinded and misread the woman's true intentions. (We'll forget the guys who were idiots from the git-go.)

And two years ago I didn't quite understand the motivation of many of those involved. You've heard of the fog of war? Thats nothing compared to the fog of despair. They're an open book if you read carefully. Oddly enough, it almost gives them a valid excuse for acting the way they do.

I adore these girls too and I've even met some nice ones. I'm just not on a mission to quickly marry one. Why would anyone do such a crazy thing when there is an inexhaustable supply to choose from? Oh yeah, they've found the "right one". Just like the last ones were the right ones the day they met *them*. If you think being a realist is difficult, try being the opposite...

Let 'em hurl all the rocks they want, I've never been raked over in a divorce or lost a dime to a woman I didn't want to spend. And I've seldom been alone to boot. Women are just people, with all that implies, not something to be put on a pedestal and worshiped. I like 'em too, but not a one of them is special in any way...unless you have a need for them to be.

And if you do, you have problems no woman can solve. On the contrary, she's got you where she wants you....again.

Could you expound on this?

My wife mentioned that living in America has softened her up too much, in regards to getting by in Ukrainian society.  Over there, life is still a struggle.  A struggle to find a job, a struggle to keep it, a struggle to get ahead, a struggle to find a quality mate, and then a struggle to keep someone else from stealing them from you.  Over there, people play for keeps.  Lying, cheating, scams and stealing are common everyday facts of life over there.  Throw in the all pervasive russian mafia and you have a situation where you live mainly by your strength, wits, beauty, visciousness, or some combination of the above.

My wife was particularly upset because her normally well tuned internal lie detector had dulled to the point that she had a difficult time determining when someone was telling a lie.  Over there, that can make the difference between keeping as much money as you can vs blowing your money frivolously on something you don't need.  They can be like sharks smelling blood, if they realize you are too trusting.

Winston Churchill once compared the Russian temperament to their Russian wolfhounds.  They're either at your feet or at your throat.  In some ways, that's still true today.  Instead of communism running their lives, it appears to be the mafia.  I've even heard a new term applied to Russian/Ukrainian goverments.  They're being called "mafiacracies".  Such an environment instills harshness and manipulation in the general population.

Can you find a decent girl in such an environment?  Yes, it is possible, but it is much more challenging to do so than it would be in a Latin or Asian environment.  The odds will favor you better if you look more at the intelligentsia in the big cities or else look out in the more remote areas, away from the big cities.  Still again, it is possible to find a gem of a lady in a big city, who doesn't hold 3 or 4 college degrees.  You just have to look harder.

I corresponded with 60+ ladies, before selecting Marina to become serious with.  Had I not been so lucky my first time out, I would likely have done 2 or 3 more rounds of bulk correspondence.  Eventually, the sheer number of contacts would have provided some decent "hits".  Of course, that was 4 or 5 years ago.  Nowadays, the situation is a little more hairy...

Stevo

I hate to say it but most Western men are shark
bait over there.

For us,  with plenty of greed and corruption here,  it is amazing the degree of corruption there.  It is pervasive and on every level and starta of the society and culture.  

Yes, amid all this one may find a true gem.  But search carefully.

From any balanced rational point of view...this pursuit is curious, at best.  It is also a biz loaded with propaganda and myths of RW to be sucked-up by the unwary.  "Success" should not be measured by finding "the one".  Thats the easy part.  Maybe success is like 5 years of marriage or ten.

Now,  there are only a couple thousand of these marriages here per year,  a mere drop in the bucket.  To support the plethora of "agencies"?  For agencies,  their "success" is in NOT having the inventory married and off the market.  It is in peddling their "services".  As many as possible.  They are selling a dream..a fantasy.  A little variation on the movie, "The Producers".  They are not really selling marriage...they are really selling, emails, translations, letter forwarding, photos, trips, interperters, apartments, flowers, roses, perfumes, stuffed bears and bunnies etc.  Thats where the money is, boy.

Putting RW's on a pedestal is just plain stupid. There is no reason for that.  No sane guy here would marry a girl after spending only a week with her....but with a Russian girl..Da.  Makes no sense.  One can reap a bitter harvest with this method.  

How many guys have I known on their wedding day who were so happy and in love that you thought they were drugged-up??? Give it a little time---2 or 3 years later...a wasteland of enimity and loathing.  

Couple weeks ago I saw this funny couple with a 7 year old. It was remarkable.  In the restaurant,  everyone was staring at them.  Difficult for people to figure out.  She was absolutely stunning, perfectly dressed. One would not guess the guy with her was her husband.  He was much older, unkept, rude, sullen and a good 100 pounds overweight.  Without a doubt...I knew she was a new Russian bride. And she was.  And she was not a happy girl and wanted out of her 2 month marriage.  We spoke for only a few moments, she was amazed at my very limited Russian.  Will this marriage survive here in the USA...of course not.  Probably would not survive anywhere.

And you should know that not all of these pairings are so perhaps blatantly mismatched.  Many look as normal as could be.

Oscar

Sure it is unusual for a complete stranger to tell a total another that she is not happy with her marriage. However, I have had far stranger and surprising conversations with people I do not know in my life.

Besides, he most likely is not telling us the whole story. He may have shared his interest in the MOB scene etc and thus this could be why I would suspect that a person might open up to a stranger. I mean what is the motive in making up a story? I think you two should give him a break. LOL

ps: I know from your thoughts and postings alone, that you are a very good "catch"...Tell Lena she is a very lucky woman.

I've also learned the notion MOB people are social misfits, losers, trophy hunters (whatever you want to call them), has much more than a ring of truth to it and to say they're a small minority is burying one's head in the sand. Read any MOB board and you'll see what I mean. For example, the idea of moving to the FSU is only one telling sign of how screwed up some of these guys really are. Rebelling against one's own culture is a sign of social withdrawal as old as civilization.

You're right about many agencies too, I have to laugh when I read some of the nonsense they put out. They're pushing a dream to those who are living in a dream world, those who have fled reality. After all, it's easy to sell thimbles of water to people dying of thirst. At least many women have valid reasons for using them...

Then there is this gem sent to me by one of the FSU girls I keep in contact with. She was sent this in the second letter she got from a guy:

"Honey, I need a sexual woman just as much or maybe more. How brave are you?? How sexual are you?? Can you show me more of you to show that you have interest in me? Unbutton your blouse down to your waist and spread your legs apart with no panties. Lean back and say hello to me."

MOB guys at their finest, eh? She told me she gets this kind of crap all the time. (Lol, the guy was a Texan by the way.) Course, I'm speaking in generalities...no one on the world's finest Russian discussion board would ever fit this profile. ;-)

There's nothing wrong with American women, contrary to what a lot of MOB pursuers state or think.  For me, the ONLY reason to look to the FSU was the young and pretty factor.  Talk about values, culture, blah, blah, blah is just a lot of rubbish.  It's about a bunch of guys trying to justify looking in the FSU w/o admitting why they are REALLY searching that environment.

Hey, at least I KNOW why I went looking there!  Come to Daddy trophy wife!

Stevo

Stevo

Actually,  marriage for romantic or "love" reasons is rather a new aspect of marriage.  For thousands of years marriage was more of an economic/survival modality.  Or for strenghtening the power of 2 familys or of reigons or city states or countries.

*Bottom feeders, trophy girls* and those comments like the finest Russian Discussion Board, Yeh, they make me smile.

I remember the *resident custodian* of this board (I think he is a Texan)once saying, *You should have seen the looks on their faces when I walked into the school class reunion with my new Russian wife hanging on my arm*. His words were similar to that anyhow.

It just seems to me this approach with FSUW has more to do with *Trophy Wives* than any are prepared to admit.

You are such a realist LP !

Good Luck, and lots of it to some here.