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Well things were 100% polar opposite from my first visit. This time I ran an ad for ME through Jacks agency. I'll write a trip report this weekend.

... in response to I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JACK!!..., posted by Frank O on Jun 19, 2003

Frank, you seem like a really nice guy.  If you are happy, we are happy for you.  Now that you are verbally commited, you have time to get to know each other....and only you know best for you.

... in response to I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JACK!!..., posted by Frank O on Jun 19, 2003

We have heard a lot on this board that the Texas Service Center is slow and getting slower, so you and your fiancee can use the delay to your mutual advantage to get to know each other better through a variety of ways.

Best to you!

P.S. Sorry about the gig. Sounds like a bunch that doesn't know what they want and can't commit. You are clearly the opposite kind of person.

... in response to I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JACK!!..., posted by Frank O on Jun 19, 2003

Frank,
Best of luck to you.  Now take a deep breath and think things through very carefully.  You are an impulsive kind of guy (like me) and there is nothing wrong with that UNTIL you make life altering impulsive decsions.  You MAY have met the love of your life in Ukraine, but for sure you do not know this woman well enough yet to gamble on marriage.  Engaged? Fine, but make it a long one and plan to visit her again to confirm your choice.
KenC

... in response to I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JACK!!..., posted by Frank O on Jun 19, 2003

I wish you the best.

... in response to I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JACK!!..., posted by Frank O on Jun 19, 2003

I hope it works out for you and it's not just one of those powerful sexual attractions.  Oh what the heck, if it is then have fun for 2 years and then try again a little wiser.

... in response to I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JACK!!..., posted by Frank O on Jun 19, 2003

Or better yet the two of you !!

... in response to Re: Let's see her picture !, posted by wsbill on Jun 20, 2003

Just saw a few photos of Frank and his lady. She is very pretty, has a beautiful smile, curves in all the right places and her hair is almost as long as his.

Frank, she is pretty and the two of you do look happy together in the photos.

... in response to oh myyyyy!, posted by Jack on Jun 20, 2003

Seriously, when I stepped out in Boryspil I didn't see Galina or her. I started to worry & walked started to walk around. Then I heard a voice say "Frank?!". I turned around...she was wearing tight jeans & what appeared to be like a leather "vest" I don't know WHAT you call it but it had leather leaces between the boobs holding it together with NO bra underneath. OH MAN!!! Anyways she is EVERYTHING & MORE that I could have asked for. I thank GOd I chose her over going to Chernigov!!! THANKS JACK!!!

... in response to I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JACK!!..., posted by Frank O on Jun 19, 2003

Congratulations Frank! I wish you both the best!

Z

... in response to I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JACK!!..., posted by Frank O on Jun 19, 2003

Regardless of the comments from some, I think that there  
is a very different way to consider love with many people,  
myself being one of the people who think that our romantic  
and materialistic diamond-driven "love" definition is a  
buch of horse-hockey.  Technically, it's possible for any  
man and woman to love each other, they just have to WANT  
IT TO WORK.  Love to me is a very conscious choice we make  
to behave and live in a manner that takes into account the  
needs of another person in our life.  It goes beyond  
romance, friendship or sex.  It's about humanity.  
 
So to me, love is a decision to stick together for the  
long haul, fights and disagreements included, and to not  
expect the other person to be perfect or even nice at  
times.  Once you make the decision to love someone, you  
just do it and stick to your guns.  Now the trick is  
getting BOTH people to think about love and marriage in  
this rational, no bull fashion and to grab their noses and  
take the plunge, promising to stick together no matter  
what.  My parents, who are still together, don't always  
agree on things and there is conflict.  It's NORMAL guys.  
 
But what do I know, I've been divorced but admit that I  
knew better BEFORE getting married, I just ignored the  
signs. It's been my experience, before, during and after  
my first marriage, that as much as I loved my first wife and she loved
me, she really wasn't geared up to make it in the long haul, she had not
gotten over her first husband and I got the leftovers. Yes, there was  
romance, attraction, great sex, etc.  But she was ALWAYS  
looking for "more".  More car, more happiness, more money,  
etc.  If you find someone who just wants YOU, it doesn't  
really matter whether they are perfect, prettier than the  
other girls, etc.  When you both agree to MAKE IT WORK NO  
MATTER WHAT it's a done deal, get married and live happily  
ever after.  
 
So Frank, if she's into YOU and you are into HER totally  
and 100%, then MAKE IT WORK and don't listen to anyone  
else but your own gut.  But put some cash away in a  
buddies bank account just in case, OK?  
 
Cal

... in response to Re: I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JA..., posted by Cal on Jun 20, 2003

To a certain extent, I agree with you, Cal.  Still, there is more to it than just wanting more, for more's sake.  My wife is someone who wants "more" out of life, but to her, more is not just an unfulfilled need.  To Marina, "more" is a progression in life.  "If we don't want something," she opines, "then we aren't alive."

Does it mean that she has to have it?  No.  Her wants are her motivation, not her dissatisfaction.  She's realistic enough to know when we can't afford something, and doesn't blame me or herself if we can't get it.  Still, her wants provide her a goal to reach for, and a focus for us to turn our energies to.

In a way, Marina has reawakened my ambition.  By the time I met Marina, I had felt I had achieved my "happy plateau".  I could pay all my bills and have plenty left over to goof around.  Of course, I lived like a slob and had no interest in pushing myself anymore.  Marina reawakened the hunger in me, and got me back into the process of living, instead of just existing.  Looking at how much my life has changed over the last two years, I am amazed at the difference.  I have become much more responsible and my lifestyle is now more in line with where I should be, at this stage in my life.

I tend to agree with Marina, in that we need to have a constant set of "wants" to motivate us to progress to the next level.  If complacency sets in, we surrender our desire to grow and learn.  Properly managed, our wants can lead us to become something better than what we already are.

I think the "properly managed" part is where difficulties come in.  Balancing our wants against reality is vital.  Willingness to work hard and sacrifice to achieve those wants is also vital.  An empty want, without the motivation to try and achieve it, often leads to dissatisfaction.  

Marina and I spend a lot of our time together thinking about what we want and we plan together how we are going to get there.  When we are together, our nightly walks are often our planning sessions.  While we walk, we often talk about what we want and how we are going to get there.  We prioritize our wants, and we decide together what's really important for us right now.  Reviewing our wants and needs regularly keeps us focused on what we need to do, and also gives us the motivation to "do without" sometimes, in order to achieve what we really want.  Making that trade willingly, instead of being forced to accept something you can't have, keeps dissatisfaction down.

Does this make sense?

... in response to The issue of "more", posted by John K on Jun 23, 2003

Your way of looking at life makes perfect sense, it's  
pretty much the way I see it.  Cooperation and committment to each other,
isn't that what marriage is about? Problem is, not a lot of people see
marriage this way anymore.  It's more than just love IMHO, it's growing
together as people. Marriage really isn't that difficult, provided that
people continue to be themselves, adapt and change with each other's
needs and wants, but above all agree to stick together.  It's great you
and your wife communicate like you do!  Bravo, you have it figured out.  
And it sounds like marriage challenges you to be a better man, which is  
what it's all about, isn't it? :)  
 
In my case, I simply chose the wrong woman to marry - she wanted me to be
her first husband and repeated her same "bad behavior" that got her
divorced the first time. Life has a tendency to repeat itself with
certain people, my ex being one of them I suppose. BTW she was not
eastern european at all, which I realize might have confused my posting.  
 
Cal

... in response to Re: I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JA..., posted by Cal on Jun 20, 2003

Thanks Cal. You situation sounded very much like MY first marriage. The COMMITTMENT was there but when your wife goes oversees & has a "fling" & winds up pregnant....well you can see where that goes. Adultery is a VERY legitimate grounds for divorce. I'm a christian & that is the ONLY grounds for divorce in my book. We discussed this at length. My parents were married 50+ years. Her mother married at 17 & has been married 21 years now. I think. In any case it's our decision but I do appreciate everyones "advice".

... in response to Thanks Cal..., posted by Frank O on Jun 20, 2003

I do hope you mean your girlfriend when you say "her".  Because if you mean your mother, then your mother's mother (your grandmother) must be in some warped space-time continuium to only be married 21 years. ;)

... in response to Re: Thanks Cal..., posted by lswote on Jun 20, 2003

NT

... in response to I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JACK!!..., posted by Frank O on Jun 19, 2003

Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank, are you sure of what your doing here?

Frank, you seem to do things quickly. I wonder if you are not rushing this. Why do you have to get engaged so soon?  Wouldn't it be better, now since the two of you have met, to write to each other, e-mail each other, talk to each other on the phone, learn even more about each other and then going back and spend some 3 or 4 weeks with her. Get to know her much better.

Frank you have still only met a very few ladies. I know you are greatly excited, thrilled and interested in this woman. So many, many Russian women can make us feel this way. I am happy for you. I just think you might be rushing things. Your a young man. I understand why guys in there 50's might be more inclined to rush things, but you have your whole life in front of you. Take your time, get to know this lady.

... in response to Frank, posted by Jack on Jun 20, 2003

=:0  Aiiiiieeeeee

... in response to Frank, posted by Jack on Jun 20, 2003

every rock...  If you were a poor boy like me, I'd understand you just finding one and get hitched... but I must confess when ever I went over the first time I latched on to one and really thought she was the one.

But in all reality looking back there were quirks and questions about her character that I know see over the course of time.  That I didn't see, because of the cloud of the inital feelings - there is alot of hyping going on this msg board about these women and of course, every guy wants to latch on to the first on that gives them a little attention - wait til that attention wears off.

I'm curious, does she have any friends in the USA ?

Has she ever been out of her country before ?

What is her favorite color ?

Does she snore ?

What is her shoe size ?

No doubt there are women out there that will make you feel like your walking on air...   But, maybe you should wait for gravity to catch up with you.

... in response to I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JACK!!..., posted by Frank O on Jun 19, 2003

Congratulations!

I'm looking forward to your trip report.  I hope you will post some pictures.

... in response to I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JACK!!..., posted by Frank O on Jun 19, 2003

That's good Frank, I guess. But like Vagn asked, did you know this woman before or did she just "show up"? I'll admit that I got engaged on the first trip too (and STILL waiting for the K-1), but I had at least been corresponding (email and phone) with her for six months (the last four of which we were 'exclusive' to correspond with only each other) before I made the trip....just hope you know this woman well enough.

Looking forward to your trip report...going back on the music road now?

... in response to Re: I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JA..., posted by Michael B on Jun 20, 2003

NT

... in response to Thanks!!...NOT going back on the road. N..., posted by Frank O on Jun 20, 2003

Stupid, stupid, stupid!  You have a chance to play in a band with a big name like Jennifer Pena and you give it up after getting engaged to someone you just met?  There is no reason you can't call and write this woman from the road.  Now you have put all your eggs in one basket and it is a fairly unknown basket at that.  Don't do this Frank!!!

... in response to Don't do this Frank !!!, posted by lswote on Jun 20, 2003

I was told I would be getting paid a WHOPPING $450 per per week (sarcasm intended) & my first check was $350. I was told it was because I was on "trial". Funny I was told I was "IN THE BAND". Then my SECOND check was for an even more surprising sum of $300?!#%$&@* I make MORE money teaching guitar than playing weekends with this band. THEN I get told the next gig they would NOT be needing me but they were bringing a guitarist from Monterrey out of "courtesy" to him as he was supposed to have audition before I landed the gig. I had purchased my tickets to Kiev on May 8th. On the 9th the band called. I was starting to feel pretty miffed at the lack of proffessionalism in the band. NOt the musicians but the business side. The 2 US gigs were HORRIBLE!! I'm NOT kidding my club gigs were WAY better than those. The Mexico gig was a WHOLE other ballgame. Smoke, lights, projection screens, fog, 4,000+ people, TV, groupies you name it but 1 out of 3? The day before I left I got a call from the band (I guess the other guy didn't pan out) I told them I was going to Ukraine to try to salvage whatwas left of my trip. I lost 7 days thanks to them. All I would have liked was some honesty. Was I in or out?! Was I brought in for 3 gigs only till they got the other guy? I could have dealt with that but I would NOT have reshuffles my students quit the store etc. If I was going to get paid $350 or $300 TELL ME don't make excuses when you don't pay me what you say. Anyways it was NOT all that. I did NOT lose anything but I will miss the road. Also I was told they wanted me for the pop songs because of the "crossover" I HATE Tejano music. Well out of 18 songs only TWO were pop. Go figure.

... in response to The band wasn't all that..., posted by Frank O on Jun 20, 2003

Well, that's no good (the band, not the lady) sounds like you're better off without them.

... in response to Don't do this Frank !!!, posted by lswote on Jun 20, 2003

Interesting links to the official website of Jenifer Pena.  It has a page with pictures of the band!

http://www.jennifer-pena.com/Jennifer.html – link to main page of official Jenifer Pena website

http://www.jennifer-pena.com/LosJetz.html – link to the web page of Jenifer’s Band

... in response to I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JACK!!..., posted by Frank O on Jun 19, 2003

nt

... in response to I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JACK!!..., posted by Frank O on Jun 19, 2003

Have you been corresponding with this woman,
or did she just pop over the horizon in the
last two weeks?

... in response to Huh?, posted by vagn on Jun 20, 2003

email me please.  It's in my profile.