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How long does the transition take? My best guess is 11 hours. This I think is about how long a bad marriage between an AM and a RW takes to go from love to utter HATE. She will ultimately be in jail and eventually burn in hell! Hopefully she'll freeze in Russia first. She did one thing coming here, she made an enemy!!! She all but begged for it! She may be here now, but she will eventually be here in jail with a pending deportation order. Her and her SUKA friends!!!! Sorry guys, I'm p1ssed and I'm venting.

Bad faith marriage? How does one prove that? The fact that she was looking for another man in less than two weeks of marriage? Is that proof enough? I know without a doubt I made major mistakes because I married her, but I will not sit back and allow her to play me the way she has. It has taken everything I have to maintain my composure. She and her friends played me like a fiddle. Stupid suka didn't even know my full name when she went to the police and filed false charges of abuse...how interested in me could she have been?

What do I do? I didn't deserve what she's doing! I gave her everything I had and it was never good enough! I know, I'm venting and letting off steam, but she should not be allowed to get away with this. I doubt most women from the FSU do this, but I know for a fact some do...at least one I know of. What is the recoarse? The Violence Against Women Act is really a valid law, but it is allowed to be abused by women such as my soon to be ex-wife. We all know that as a man, if your wife claims abuse, you are guilty until you can prove yourself innocent.

... in response to Love to Hate..., posted by Travis on Jun 2, 2003

Your anger and hatred, while justified, can be very dangerous and detrimental to you, left unchecked.  Right now, your greatest weapon against your soon to be ex is self control.

I suggest that you channel your anger into something less self destructive and into something more productive.  Put your excess energies into looking into various legal strategies and weighing what will have a greater impact versus cost.  Is divorce or annulment a better choice?  Do you have legal recourse not only against your soon to be ex, but also her friends?  A "friend" under fire can quickly turn on you to save themself.  Attack her support network, and she may lose her support...

While false arrest is a good start, you still need to keep looking into new and different avenues of attack.  I guarantee your soon to be ex is.  Examples would be social services, the IRS, the legal system, the INS, the Social Security Administration and the "good old boy" network.  Be careful with the last one though.  If not done carefully, it could blow up in your face with horrendous results.  You don't just want to counteract her, you want to dominate her.  That is what she understands.  And don't forget her friends, of course.  Perhaps the INS might want to look into their eligibility status...

Remember that whatever she has used on you, can be used against her as well, as long as you don't break the law, or weaken your position.  Mind games can be played on both sides.  Put a lien on her assets for your legal bills.  Hire a PI to watch her and her friends and note down what you can use.  Put your energy to use and get creative.  

While I'm not a fan of revenge, in this case, I would make the exception.  I'd buy all the George Hayduke books on dirty tricks and find new and inventive ways to demoralize her.  Her actions and personality show that this is the only way to reach her.  If you don't dominate and demoralize her, then she will feel free to try, try again.  Such a person needs to be stopped, not only for revenge, but as a protection to the general populace.  In this case, I think you might have a moral imperative.

And if you do manage to get her deported?  Don't be afraid to reach out and touch her overseas.  Write to all the embassies in her country and warn them to be on the lookout for her.  The next time she tries to get a visa stamp, she will be sorely surprised.  If I could, I'd find a way to report her to INTERPOL, maybe as a con artist.  Imagine how that one could play out...  I'm sure there's other things you could think of as well to make her life miserable...

Again, channel your hatred into something more productive for you.  The cooler you keep your head, the better you stand to win the war.  And remember, it's easy to lose a battle here and there, but don't lose the war.

Best of Luck.

... in response to Fire of Anger, Cold of Resolve, posted by John K on Jun 7, 2003

I was told to keep quiet until my situation is complete...so that's what I should do. In August I will elaborate. As you stated, self control.

... in response to Fire of Anger, Cold of Resolve, posted by John K on Jun 7, 2003

poor Marina!

... in response to :-o, posted by Griffin redux on Jun 7, 2003

If you aren't going to be constructive, then don't be destructive either.  I do not dig you about your marriage.  Don't try and lay your pain on mine.  Fair enough?

... in response to Enough, Griffin., posted by John K on Jun 8, 2003

that your post sounds more like personal fantasy than dispassionate advice.

As advice it is the answer to a divorce attorney's prayer.  The last thing Travis needs to do is devote his life to ruining his soon to be ex wife.

My constructive advise for Travis:

Get on with your life.  Exercise vigorously and often.  Watch between meal treats (just kidding on that one).  Don't talk or listen to coworkers about divorce.  Don't date for at least the next 6 months.  Find a "cause" (professional, political, philanthropic, whatever) you can support and immerse yourself in it.  Be cordial at all times regarding your ex and her gaggle of supporters.  Let your attorney handle the details.  Allow yourself no more than 30 minutes a day for fantasies of your ex's exquisitely painful demise.

Finally, don't beat yourself up about what you didn't do or should have done.  From your posts you have already learned from your experience.  Time to move on.

I am a three-time winner as far as marriage is concerned. I know how to survive a divorce.

... in response to My point is, posted by Griffin redux on Jun 8, 2003

[This message has been edited by John K]

My look on it is different.  Consider it this way:

If you brought a dog home and found it to be rabid, you wouldn't just throw it out and hope it goes away.  Any time you went out and exposed yourself as vulnerable, it will attack you.  Travis has the marriage equivalent of a rabid dog.  It's malicious, vicious and dangerous.  Not only to him, but to the public at large.

While I agree he should let the courts fight it out and end it legally, afterwards, he needs to consider finding ways to "put the dog down" (nonviolently, of course) before it does more damage.  Otherwise, he will likely find himself a target of her retribution on a regular basis.  That, and he has now made targets out of every other single man in his area.

When he only acts defensively, he sends a message to this woman that he's weak.  That will just encourage her to find new ways to make his life miserable.  He will eventually need to go on the offensive in order to protect himself.

Maintaining self control is key.  Channeling his anger into preparing for the eventuality of striking back makes sense.  It will likely be inevitable that he will need to do so anyway, so he might as well prepare for the eventuality...

... in response to Sounds more like a dogged rabbit's theor..., posted by Griffin redux on Jun 9, 2003

Most of the time, I'm pretty mild mannered and let things slide.  If the person does something blatantly offensive, then I take action.  My rowdy neighbors are now more careful around me, and the neighborhood is a little quieter.  The cops still pay them periodic visits, but it never involves me.

Also, I'm very protective of my wife, and if anyone upsets her, I take them on without thinking.  On my last trip, I went head to head with Marina's grandmother during a family argument.  Not that I'm particularly happy about that, but it did make the peace and my wife thought I was the best husband in the world.  Go figure.

For the most part, however, I treat it on a case by case basis.  If someone is deliberately trying to cause me or my wife harm (wife especially) I shut them down fast and hard.  If it's just general stupidity, I try to tolerate it or redirect their focus elsewhere.

In Travis's case, I see his soon-to-be-ex as a long term threat and a possibly dangerous one.  That's why I advised him as I did.  Normally, I'd preach moderation, but in this case moderation will likely just leave him set up for more abuse, especially if he gets serious with another lady.  I can easily see the ex making his and his lady's life h*ll, just because she can.  I see her as the equivalent of an exmarital "rabid dog", and that she will need to be treated as such in order for him to regain a semblance of security.

... in response to I treat on a case by case basis, posted by John K on Jun 9, 2003

the worst I have ever had my ass kicked was by a grandmother in Jamaica.

I pray to God I never meet up with that old woman again!

... in response to :-o, posted by Griffin redux on Jun 7, 2003

His marrage and mine are worlds apart! And believe it or not, I'm happy about that. I sincerely want the best for everyone on this board. Just because my FSU marriage was a sham and went to he11 in a handbasket, doesn't mean all will. And I don't believe most do. John and Marina will be ok, at least they communicate with each other. Two way street. Mine was one way and that never works but thats because she had ulterior motives. I know, deep down I'm an optimist :-)

... in response to Love to Hate..., posted by Travis on Jun 2, 2003

Travis,

You are very very fortunate. You just need to see it that way. Tim below stated this also. From what you are telling us, it sounds as though justice will most likely have a path to be materialized. You are fortunate that as well as being evil she sounds very stupid.

However Travis, there is a way she can get what she wants - by upsetting YOU!

In getting you upset she is evoking a response that suggests that you are volatile and thus creates behavior that suggests she may have some basis for her claims. This happened with another guy here and it seems that he created his own troubles by how she was able to get him to respond.

You are going to get through this just fine. You however need to keep your cool and view this as what it is. You chose this lady. You chose to ignore her signs. And, if you did not get some kind of whack out of this you would not as easily learn what there is to learn. If does not make any difference how evil she is. There are evil people all over. Do you get as upset about them? I doubt it. What you are upset with is your entanglement with her and how now because of your past choices you can not get rid of her without all this crap.

Don't be upset with her my friend. Be upset with yourself because there will always be more like her in both sexes. It is wasted energy. Let it go or she will have a better opportunity to cause you more grief.

... in response to Re: Love to Hate..., posted by thesearch on Jun 3, 2003

I do partially blame myself because I was stupid enough to marry her but I also blame her and her friends. My stupidity in marrying her is not a green light for her to break the law and do the things that she has done. I at least didn't do anything illegal. If I get car jacked in the fourth ward, do I get angry with the guy that did it or do I blame myself for driving in the wrong part of town? Both.

Fortunatly this is the last possible thing she can do to me...legally anyway. She has been vacated from my home for a while now. Part of the court order. Thank God this is a community property state!

Getting swarmed by police in my front yard with the nieghbors watching and then hauled off to jail for a crime I didn't commit is a little upsetting. I ain't Ghandi. But through it all, I have maintained my composure fairly well. When I was in jail I called my ex-girlfriend so she could post bail. I was the one in jail and I had to calm her down.

My wife is evil and stupid, and I want nothing more at this point than the truth to come out and justice. She should be prosecuted for what she has done and I will do everything I can to see to it that that happens!

... in response to Re: Re: Love to Hate..., posted by Travis on Jun 3, 2003

Go for it Travis - just remain cool in everyone's eyes who will be in charge of judging you.

Good Luck to you

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Love to Hate..., posted by thesearch on Jun 3, 2003

I will, and thanks!

... in response to Love to Hate..., posted by Travis on Jun 2, 2003

Wake up guys!  This is somebody spamming the board.

If your for real, post her photos and the names and phone numbers of her friends.

... in response to Re: Geez, this is lame... SPAM !, posted by wsbill on Jun 2, 2003

He's a pretty seasoned guy on the russian women scene.

Six months from now you'll have a really good laugh about this whole thing.

That was one of my question I would ask a girl .

Do you know anyone living in the USA and have you ever been there before.  If so, automatically.  I rejected them.

Even now, I'm very leary of any lady that has lived in East Germany, as she'll have experienced life in our semi-culture.

I'd rather teach a lady, our way of doing thing verses whomever taught her.

Just stay the course, your attorney has advised.

... in response to Re: OK, ok.  Travis -  Listen to what Ja..., posted by wsbill on Jun 3, 2003

Bill, believe me, I read and heed everyone's advice here now, especially Jack's. Ya know, my original thinking about her having her best friend here was "Cool, at least she knows someone here and won't be lonely when I'm working". Good God was I wrong! She came here specifically to be with her friend, not me. I was just a tool to get her here.

And Bill, as much as I wished this whole thing were not true and happening, it is the truth, it isn't spam. I'd give my right nut for all this to be some sort of dream or fantasy.

... in response to Re: OK, ok.  Travis -  Listen to what Ja..., posted by wsbill on Jun 3, 2003

Two weeks after my wife arrived she had 5 new Russian-born friends/advisors just here in Texas (probably one of them was Travis' wife) all of whom are "expert" on immigration and family law.  Once the marriage starts heading south, they circle the wagons, not unlike AW and their recently divorced co-workers.

... in response to They find each other quickly via the int..., posted by Griffin redux on Jun 3, 2003

They do "network" like there's no tomorrow! Did your wife spend any time at the Russian Bear or Odessa? If so, I would have no doubt they have met and talked. My wife had about the same number of Russian-born girlfriends/advisors and didn't file charges against me until after she "consulted" with them. That was exactly 3 weeks into the marriage. Her friends response when I told her my wife hit me between 20 and 25 times..."So". My wife was HOPEING like he11 I would hit her back so she would have something to go to the police with. But, being a man, I go to jail on her word only and am guilty until I can prove that I'm innocent. I'll tell you how much the DA investigated the case...they didn't even get my name or birthdate right! My wife didn't know it and the DA didn't look into it. Again, guilty until proven innocent! Any moron with a computer and an internet connection could have at least got my name right!

... in response to Re: They find each other quickly via the..., posted by Travis on Jun 3, 2003

you really need to get over that... but I am curious.

Was your wife Luci from Baytown?

... in response to I apologize if I have restoked your ange..., posted by Griffin redux on Jun 3, 2003

No apologies! I'm p1ssed but that doesn't have anything to do with anyone here on this board. It's just gonna take some time to get over.

Luci isn't my wife, nor any of her friends that I'm aware of.

... in response to Re: I apologize if I have restoked your ..., posted by Travis on Jun 3, 2003

God help us, it gets easier every time.

... in response to Re: Geez, this is lame... SPAM !, posted by wsbill on Jun 2, 2003

Hold-On WildBill. Travis is real and what he is going thru is very much real.

Right now Travis you just need to concentrate on all the legal issue's at hand. Do not be alone with this woman, not even for three seconds. ALWAYS have someone with you if she is ever in your presence. This will help you if she wants to come up with some new abuse charges.

Travis no one has to beat it into your head that you just fcuked up. You have learned a most valuable lesson the hard way. I don't know if you have relayed such information previously, and probably best not to discuss anymore than you have until everything is over, but I would be willing to bet you $3.46 that this was the first and ONLY Russian woman you ever met. I think you must not have ever been able to compare your current Russian wife to any other Russian woman. Maybe I am wrong, but most guys who were able to meet other Russian women do not normally get scammed as bad, as quickly, as obviously, as you were. I think you fell for the first beautiful, sexy Russian woman you met and just so happens she had sex with you very quickly. You were "in love"! You probably confused sex with love. She knew what it would take to close the deal with you, to get you to do whatever she wanted, and it was sex.  

This is going to leave a bad taste in your mouth and it should. You made the wrong choice, you probably could have done many things that could have helped you to make a better choice but you didn't. So you will have learned a lot by the time this is all over. And even though you will disagree with what I am saying now, these Russian women are the finest women in the world, you just have to choose wisely.

Travis, concentrate on legal issues at hand. Three or four months after your divorce is over I would be happy to try to help you find some good Russian women, Russian women with high morals, not those who will use sex to seal the deal.

... in response to HOLD ON WildBill!, posted by Jack on Jun 3, 2003

Jack, send me an email please. I would like to discuss this further. Online isn't yet appropriate as my legal issues are not yet concluded.

... in response to Re: Geez, this is lame... SPAM !, posted by wsbill on Jun 2, 2003

I will in August Bill, after the divorce is final. I still have to defend myself in court and posting too much info on the internet now just doesn't seem like a good idea. Please keep in mind that this is ongoing.

... in response to Love to Hate..., posted by Travis on Jun 2, 2003

Your profile says you filed for divorce in November of 2002.  Why are you just posting this story now?

... in response to Is this something new?, posted by lswote on Jun 2, 2003

I did file for divorce in November 2002. She filed charges in October. The warrent was just executed last Wednesday. The reason I didn't know there was an outstanding warrent, is because she gave the police the wrong name, middle name anyway. My wife didn't even have the courtesy to know my freakin name or birthdate! I was wondering why she never wished me a happy birthday :-) Most everything regarding this I have posted. At least in pieces. Not everything, but some things I have no choice but to withhold at this time.

My divorce from her should have been final in January, but she defied the court order to leave the country and instead filed for a protection order in February again claiming abuse. That protection order was denied in divorce court in March based on her testimony alone, but the initial warrent was still outstanding (different name). My ex-girlfriend bailed me out within 11 hours and my attorney should have a field day with the charge. The charges will be dismissed because they have nothing. We have her testimony from the divorce hearing which in itself should suffice, but we have more evidence. We WILL demand she be prosecuted for filing false charges! And for fraudulent marriage!

... in response to Re: Is this something new?, posted by Travis on Jun 2, 2003

I'm not sure you're gonna get that one, Travis.  It seems to me that your marriage was legal, if ill fated.  Personally, I'm curious as to why you are divorcing her instead of having the marriage annulled.  I would think that legally, you'd be better off with an annulment..

... in response to Love to Hate..., posted by Travis on Jun 2, 2003

We are at least 50% responsible for anything we are involved with or a part of...
Let's all take a quiet look unselfishly at ourselves and see where we can begin to improve our lives and our relationships with other people as well as ourselves...
"quote" - Scott Peckham - "book" The Road Less traveled...

... in response to Someone Once Said..., posted by RickM on Jun 2, 2003

And you were only slightly off with the author citation. It is M. Scott Peck (one of my favorites of the genre).

There are numerous quotable sections of the book 'The Road Less Traveled' - including the one you selected.

My favorite is his opening: "Life is difficult," closely followed by his treatise on the "Truth".

Good book.

Cheers!

- Dan

... in response to Love to Hate..., posted by Travis on Jun 2, 2003

I was much like you when my AW left (now 12 years ago) and was indeed very angry.  I wrote the word "detached" on my fridge, saying to myself this is where I wanted to be.  It took 6 months.  Only then did I heal, and in my heart wished her the best and the best of luck.  Mind you, I took care of business in the courts (took 3 years) and all the while she was trying to destroy me mentally, spiritually, financially, emotionally, physically.  No matter...she can only do to you what you let her do.  

It would seem that you have the upper hand legally.  So...fight the good fight, but forgive, heal, move on!!!

... in response to Love to Hate..., posted by Travis on Jun 2, 2003

She has already hurt you enough. Don't let this bitterness and hate allow her to continue ruining your life. Find some way to move beyond her and focus on the good possibilities of a life after her. Its the only way to stop the bleeding. Yes you have been royally screwed and she does sound like an evil, hateful person. To the extent that you are learning from the bad experience, reflection is also a good thing. To the extent that you are feeling sorry for yourself, however, you are only enabling her to hurt you worse.

The real question you have to ask yourself, however, it where do I go from here? Life has a lot of wonderful possibilities if you will open you heart and your mind to them. I am not saying you should jump into another relationship immediately. I am only saying that its time to focus on healing and you cannot do this until you move beyond obsessing on this evil chick.

Best of luck

... in response to Re: Love to Hate..., posted by DanM on Jun 2, 2003

I really appreciate all the responses! I guess I need to vent. I know as everyone here knows that I made major mistakes! I'll be the last person to argue that I didn't make mistakes. Someone here, said I would reach this point. I guess he's a lot wiser than I ever thought about being. I hate to say that I am still really p1ssed and likely will be for a while. I don't believe I have ever before been this angry. Though I would never do anything outside the law, I will "throw the book at her", in every possible way. And her friends! It's still being written at this time though. As far as giving up and allowing her to succeed with her original plans??? No way! She drew the line in the sand and she has slandered my name and reputation. I already turned the other cheek and got hit again. Game is on! How can I possibly just allow her to get away with her initial intent, to get a visa, marry and then trade up after she drained all the money from me she could? Sends a real good signal back to the Motherland! I got a better message to send. If you marry in bad faith and you file false charges, trying to use a loophole in US law, you will be prosecuted, put in jail and then deported. I hope she enjoyed her vacation from Russia. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I'm p1ssed off, I'm bitter and I now hate her. What I want is justice! She played a very serious game with my life. I have been arrested one time in my 36 years of being, and it was because of her lies. He11, I'm already out 25 grand, whats another 5?

I won't be jumping into another relationship for a long time. I'm basically no good right now. Not until I feel that justice has been served. And until she pays for the crimes that she has committed, I ain't gonna be done, I don't give a rats @ss how long it takes or what it costs!

... in response to Re: Re: Love to Hate..., posted by Travis on Jun 2, 2003

Sorry, but I did not mean you should stop legal action against her. I agree you need to be the consequence for her actions through all possible legal attempts. I am only saying that you should (1) recognize how much anger you have inside of you, (2) understand how much harm this anger will do to you both emotionally and physically if it persists over a long period of time and (3) start thinking about ways to fill you day with things other than hating her.

Of course you should think about how bad she is when you are in with the lawyers, but not when you are eating cereal or taking a shower. You have got to find some release that gives you a break from thinking about her for a little while in the day or this will eat you alive.

Also I think its really smart to wait until you are in a better place emotionally before you look to start another romantic relationship.

Hang in there.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Love to Hate..., posted by DanM on Jun 3, 2003

No apologies required. I basically replied in one post oppossed to replying to each individually. Most what I wrote was not at all directed at you, for that I apologize.

I do recognize how much anger and hate I have now. It isn't something I can get over in the short term. He11, I have to be in court Thursday to deal with the charges she filed..first hearing, I forget what they call it. Basically they ask if I plead innocent or guilty....arrainment, that's it. Sorta hard to forget when I have cr@p like that on my schedule!

I'm not going to be romantically involved for some time. In my emotional state, I don't think I could be any less attractive to a woman :-) And you are right, it is eating me alive...I know I need to find a way to get my mind off the things she has done and what's happening but it's a little difficult right now. I have goals: 1. beat the charges she filed, they shouldn't be a problem, just expensive...attorney fees, court reporter and a translator for 6 hours. 2. Have her prosecuted for filing false charges and bad faith marriage. 3. see her deported! 4. pay off all the debt I've incurred! I know it was my own stupidity that got me into this mess and it's up to me to get myself out of it. With my attorney's help!

Please keep in mind I'm venting and in my own way "screaming". I won't be healed for some time...just being realistic. It's amazing how much I've learned though. I've often wondered how much pressure I would have to be under to crack. Well, I'm under a heck of a lot of pressure and haven't quite cracked yet. Close though :-)

... in response to Love to Hate..., posted by Travis on Jun 2, 2003

Ya know Travis,  you really don't have it so bad.  At least you are getting the divorce and getting rid of her.  Whether USA or back to the Motherland...you will be rid of her.  There will be other victims, I am sure.  Its when they won't leave you alone and keep bothering you for this or that...pestering the heck out of you...;.that is the real torture.  You got it pretty good.  Just imagine if she got pregnant with your child.  If she had 1/2 a brain...thats what she would have done.  There would barely be a chance that she would be sent back to Russia. Then the lawyers would be discussing child support and spousal support and maintenance et al.  Ya got it preety good.  Enjoy it.  Things could be much worse.

... in response to Re: Love to Hate..., posted by tim360z on Jun 2, 2003

Tim,

you make a very good point here.  (My ex tried to get money from me while I was in a coma in the hospital.) However, I think these things require some time to gain perspective and let the wounds heal.  (If I remember correctly, the divorce isn't final yet in this case.)

Alf

... in response to Love to Hate..., posted by Travis on Jun 2, 2003

A few years back the primal scream therapy began making its rounds in the business world. You were encouraged to scream to vent your anger and frustration. I found it very difficult, I hardly ever raise my voice much less scream. Some guys felt better but the only thing I got was a hoarse throat. However, I think its good to vent sometimes rather than turning inwards. The stumbling blocks we encounter in life, far from crushing us can only serve to make us stronger and wiser. Get back your self-esteem and faith in yourself. Its not your fault.  Don’t try attacking or wishing evil upon her, it will only prolong your own troubles. Get this out of your system, again, its not your fault.

... in response to Love to Hate..., posted by Travis on Jun 2, 2003

Wanted to respond to commiserate with you. Not that my RW has gone sour, but I do have an ex-wife (AW) that has suddenly turned rabid. Lawyers and filing motions and all that. Seemingly all because of jealousy and greed (see, it's not only RW).

I wish I could say that things will be OK for you, but the truth of the matter is - we all make choices we later must live with and some are forever unpleasant. I made one some years ago when I married my now ex-wife. We have some terrific kids - but the marriage was terrible and she had a bit of a screw loose. As time has gone on, that screw has become looser still and it now affects me (and Olya - and most certainly, Katya when she arrives) in a most negative way. Unfortunately, it will be a factor in our lives for many years to come - no matter how much I attempt to distance myself.

So . . . the moral of the story (both stories - yours Travis and mine) is simple. Choose well.

- Dan

... in response to No Answers Here, Just . . ., posted by Dan on Jun 2, 2003

First, I think the first rule of love, is to love thy self first.  That does not mean you have to be a selfish jerk, or un loving at all.  It means respect yourself enough to demand respect in return. (not ask mind you but demand)   I also think some of us when we were younger (or me that is) often tried to put square pegs in round holes.  ie, she looks great, she can be fun, who would not fall in love (lust) with her. But all the times there were signs we overlooked because she was so beautiful.  Like her being selfish, or wanting material things too much, like her needing her way all the time, (we think that was cute then and she will get out of it)  or that strange feeling we got from time to time, that she really was just looking for a bigger or better dear all the while she was with you.  If you are at all the "nice guy" you overlook most if not all of her negatives or you say "she will change once she gets to know me well"  etc.
    One of my ex's is now on hubbie 3 no 4.  She is beautiful (like off one of those magazines -tall blonde about 5'7" and thin even after 2 kids) But after two times of trying to make things work with her, I finally allowed my head with the brain in it think for me, and said that was enough, when she wanted back into my life.  It is worse if you are a person with some means, as they can fake it longer then.    
    So I agree, make a good choice, and use a critical eye.  And lastly, if you have any close female friends that you really trust, introduce them, and you will get the real deal about that woman you like.  I have to tell you woman can spot another fake or trouble woman a mile off.   It is tooooooo strange how that is true.  I have avoided  few nuts that way.

Robert D.

... in response to Love to Hate..., posted by Travis on Jun 2, 2003

Once you have done everything you legally can do to see her go back to her old life.............calm down and think about yourself.  Learn from this and move on a stronger, smarter man.

... in response to Throw the book at her, posted by Bobby Orr on Jun 2, 2003

Your talking about one huge waste of time and energy.

Just make sure you look her up when you visit her homeland!

... in response to Throw the book at her, posted by Bobby Orr on Jun 2, 2003

Exactly!