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Number ONE complaint ?  as well as 2, 3, 4, 5....

... in response to When you lady just got here - what was h..., posted by wsbill on Apr 28, 2003

My wife's observations...

1.  She can TOTALLY understand why I looked for a wife in the Ukraine after seeing American women here (in Ohio)!  She is shocked with the way American women who are extremely overweigh seem to 'flaunt' their fat in everyone's face by wearing clothes (if you want to call them that) that reveal practically every fat wrinkle.  She thinks they need to go home and put on some 'civilized' clothes.  She is also shocked at the sparseness of seeing a pretty girl/lady.  The only ones she has seen is when we go to church.  I told her 'yeah, and many of them think they are gorgeous!'.  She understands my meaning when I said that if I was stranded on a desert island (with the typical type) that I would draw a line in the sand and tell her to stay on her side!

2.  No one walking and everyone in a car - how do we ever meet or get to know anyone?

3.  Step-son was shocked at the relatively small amount of books in the school library and with the food they expect kids to eat.  Also, he was totally shocked with the lack of many dress codes for children, and was flabbergasted when his 6th grade math teacher started handing out calculators for students to use on a test!  Other than these, he likes his school.

4. My wife doesn't like American cartoons for children.

5. She can't believe we don't have more choices of fruit juices (100% natural types).

6. She doesn't like 'synthetic' food (for her, anything that has any preservatives or taste enhancers added to it) - and almost everything here does.  Did you know that ALL food you buy from fast food places has chemical flavor enhancement done to it?  Even McDonald's french fries.

7.  She doesn't like the tone of voice that women use here when they say 'HI! How are you! Oh, its so nice to meet you!'.  She says that it sounds so 'put-on' and fake.

More to come...

... in response to When you lady just got here - what was h..., posted by wsbill on Apr 28, 2003

1) Apartment was a mess.
2) What are rabbits doing running loose in the apartment? (nothing related to the mess).
3) This food sucks!
4) There's no decent place to go for a walk
5) "So, what do you think about America?" X 5000 times...
6) Why can't I drink alcohol in the bar? (She was 20 at the time)

... in response to When you lady just got here - what was h..., posted by wsbill on Apr 28, 2003

1) Tinned food.

2) Vacuuming.

3) People thinking that Ukrainians are Russian.

4) Lack of public transport.

5) Wearing of shoes in the house.

... in response to Re: When you lady just got here - what w..., posted by Pordzhik on Apr 29, 2003

1) Tinned food.

agreed...  fresh is best.

2) Vacuuming.

my woman doesn't mind this.  But she no longer likes to iron things.  We share cleaning chores, though we seem to have our preferences for particular chores.

3) People thinking that Ukrainians are Russian.

When someone asks where she is from, first she says, "Russia", and then if they seem to need more detail or specifics, she will answer, "Ukraine".

4) Lack of public transport.

Agreed.  Even though I taught her how to drive a manual transmission, it still worries me...  

5) Wearing of shoes in the house.

We change to slippers half the time, but she has learned to appreciate bare-footedness.

... in response to Re: Re: When you lady just got here - wh..., posted by oneiroknight on Apr 29, 2003

I've wrote before; my wife thought the tumble dryer was a waste of space, until she discovered that a few minutes in the dryer will often do away with any need for ironing.

Manual tranmission? I always though automatics were more popular with folks your side of the pond, except for sports cars.

My wife's still learning to drive, and lessons at £16 a time twice a week for I've forgotton how many months now, an automatic begins to appeal.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: When you lady just got here ..., posted by Pordzhik on Apr 29, 2003

Yeah, it didn't take too long for my wife to come to appreciate our machines of convenience either.  Microwave, clothes-dryer all have their places.  It is also true that automatic transmissions are generally more popular, though many of us, including myself, greatly prefer a manual.  I think that overall she has adapted very well.  There was a time when I began to worry that she was going to become too "Americanized", and I would no longer be seeing some of the charms I find so exotic about her, such as the classy and sexy style of dressing (we can be quite casual here at times) and her desire to lose her accent.  I had to argue in favor of keeping a touch of the accent and remind her how intriguing her manner of speech is to me...  :-)

... in response to When you lady just got here - what was h..., posted by wsbill on Apr 28, 2003

People always asking about her primary complaint with life in the US.

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Just kidding.

- Dan

... in response to She Got Annoyed at . . ., posted by Dan on Apr 28, 2003

Interesting, there is something about hearing it from the guy that brought one over, how your lives have changed.

We always seem to concentrate on going over, but rarely is their a discussion of life when they get her.  It's like your keeping it all to yourselves.

I don't know about you, but I hope there are some pretty creative writers about to go on the trip of a lifetime, and like it has been said...take along a note book and keep a journal of your daily events.

... in response to Re: Thought I'd try and make this place ..., posted by wsbill on Apr 28, 2003

I wouldn't call myself a creative writer, but I think I was pretty detailed when I wrote up my trip report before.

I kept a detailed journal when I went over in summer 2001, and it helped me when I put together my trip report, to remember all the vivid details. That, combined with the 1500+ pictures (NOT an exaggeration) I took while there really helps me to recall all the sights/smells and feelings experienced, even now. It almost inspires me to write more.

Recently I've toyed with writing the end to my first trip report, but now I'm too strapped for time to work on it. Last night I went through my journal, and I realized I have enough material from my journal, my trip report, and our letters to write more than half a book on "my story". If I were just to add in the rest of the experiences I didn't put to paper, I'd have the makings of a book. Not that it'd sell well though, hehe.

I'm leaving for Crimea in about 2 weeks or so, and I'll be there for 5-10 months I think. I plan on keeping another detailed journal on events/experiences. I should have some interesting stuff by the time I come back.

Maybe when I get back people will have some interest in me writing something up again like last time.

And yes, I *am* about to go on a trip of a lifetime... if it's anything like my last/first trip. I'll keep a log.

-Deckard

... in response to I plan on doing that wsbill, posted by Deckard on Apr 29, 2003

to this venture.

You're right to take your time, and it's just as well you've found a patient lady.

BTW. How will you be spending your days when your girl and her family are out at work?

I look forward to reading about the trip.

... in response to A bold approach, posted by Pordzhik on Apr 29, 2003

I'll be spending the days with her as she will not be working nor going to school while I'm there.

She's been patient considering how long we've been apart, but after 18 months of being apart so far, neither of us is very patient anymore! She wouldn't hear of me coming to marry her, have a honeymoon, and then watch me leave again while we wait for her visa. I asked her what she wanted: I keep my job, come visit and marry her, but stay with her only 2 months before returning alone to the states, or, I can quit my job, stay with her until she gets her visa, and we'll be almost completely broke, having to cook all our meals at home, and having to pass up going to movies, dance clubs, cafes, etc. Her response: "But at least we'd be together!". She wants the latter. She's willing to "tighten the belt" so to speak.

I'm prepared to stay there up to 10 months. We won't be able to go out on the town and spend money very much, and we'll have to carefully ration our tour bus excursions.

Any longer than 10 months, and I fear I'll *have* to return and look for work, for lack of funds to remain there. Hopefully it won't come to that.

... in response to Re: A bold approach, posted by Deckard on Apr 29, 2003

First I commend you on your choice. I almost made a similar choice last year.

If you have the risk taking personality like I have, one option is purchase a duplex in your town before you leave. Now that you have a job and if you have good credit, you can purchase a duplex with zero money down. You hire a management company to rent out this duplex and break even or even make $100-$200 a month. Use that to help with living expense if need be.

When you come back you will not be in as rough shape as expected. Manage the property yourself (if need be), and in a year you will be doing ok with rental income to help offset the loss in pay you had for 10 months.

This is currently what I am doing. It has been a year an a half getting me and my finace together. During the past year I have been going overtime getting rental properties. That way I could live in Ukraine off the proceeds the rental properties bring in each month. I want the freedom to live in Ukraine for part of the year, to be with her friends and family.

It may not be your cup of tea, but it is an option, and it is possible! :-)

I looked and looked for a job in Ukraine (Kiev) that would provide a decent standard of living. I could not find one that was worth it. So I decided to go this route.

MNKenr

... in response to One option., posted by MNKenr on Apr 29, 2003

I have a friend from college who has been teaching English as a Second Language for years. He tells me it doesn't pay well - even with 35 contact hours a week, which is a lot.  He started out in Germany, moved to a couple of countries in Eastern Europe and is now in the Middle East.

By the way, he got married and had twins while living in Eastern Europe.

... in response to One option., posted by MNKenr on Apr 29, 2003

[This message has been edited by Pordzhik]

As he'll be there for 5-10 months and has some basic Russian skills and local connections is to put together a website offering help with apartments, tours, airport transfers etc for other guys going over this summer?

Something he and he's girl could do together.

just a thought..may bring in some $$$$$'s

... in response to One option., posted by MNKenr on Apr 29, 2003

Pay those guys at the autoglass replacement center..where ever the place is at.  There are many western cars over there, and plenty of them have broken windshields.

Before I got into tomatos I own my own autoglass biz.

... in response to Re: While you in Kiev find out how much ..., posted by wsbill on Apr 29, 2003

Anyone who opens an automobile body shop in Kiev (and also those self-serve high-pressure car wash places) would make a mint - IMHO.

... in response to I plan on doing that wsbill, posted by Deckard on Apr 29, 2003

Five to 10 month trip.  Good for you.  Find a good editor.  Your book will be like War and Peace. lol.

But seriously, you did a fine job on your report.  I for one would love to read more.  I hope you find the time to write it all down.

Keep us posted and have a great time.

... in response to 5 to 10 months.!!!!!, posted by ChrisNJ on Apr 29, 2003

Chris,

I had written this a long time ago, but never posted it. I had intended to put it in my trip report, but I never got around to it.

You kinda inspired me to post it now.

I hope it's fun reading, it was fun to write. Here it is, never before "published" hehe.

***************************

While Luda was attending her two classes, I frequently would wait for her in an internet cafe nearby. It was a place with many computers where people come to check e-mail, and do homework assignments. To my surprise, there was a second room, where  I discovered a large community of guys play a game called Counter Strike (a first-person shooting game), which is a game I had been pretty good at back in Texas. It costs two Ukrainian dollars per hour to play, which amounts to probably about 40 cents in US currency. I felt I could easily afford this. So, I sometimes went to this cafe to join the games of Counterstrike. In honor of my fiancee, I chose "Ludmila" as the name I played under.

Some of these teenagers were very good and know their stuff. They were also in practice, and I was not, having not played for a long time. Also, some of them openly cheated. Well, at least by my standards. The dead people often shouted out to their teammates where the enemy is, and all the time they looked at each other's monitors. Teammates who were dead would often spectate the last living enemy, and show his teammate every move the enemy makes, his location, his health, his direction of travel, the direction he's facing, what weapon he's carrying, what his armor is, what his brand of bullet proof vest is, what his name tag on the uniform is.. well, maybe not all of those, but I think you get the general idea. These teenagers had this cheating down to a science. I was totally unaccustomed to being shot at through walls and doors with such precision. I was being killed all the time because these kids would know exactly where to shoot after they look at their dead teammate's monitor. It was upsetting :(.

So, I adapted. Whenever I was the last of my team left alive, I kept moving, I would fake moving in different directions. I would fake going through a door, only to pass up the door and head for the staircase, pretend to go upstairs, then suddenly "change my mind" and head downstairs instead, and so on. I would hear them chatter and shout out what I was doing in Russian. It was quite funny to hear them try to keep up with me. Eventually they would become silent, as their teammates would just get confused and yell at them to stop. They realized Ludmila was just too unpredictable and crazy.

Since I didn't understand much Russian, I didn't understand when my teammates shouted my Counterstrike name out loud and tried to help me by telling me to go here or go there, or retreat, or watch out, etc. "Davai! Davai!" "Na Oolitza, Ludmila!!" (which I later found out from Luda meant "outside"!!)  Kinda interesting to play in this atmosphere. One time I felt a lot of pressure and I just shouted back: "Ne Paneemayuu!! (I don't understand!)", and I saw and felt every head in the room snap to look at me.  

That was early on. But then, I shrugged off the layer of rust, and I showed them what an ex member of CK3 (a "clan") could do. I started acheiving scores of 52 kills and 7 deaths during our games. I wiped the floor with them. On different occasions a couple of the guys there would look up from their monitor and shout out and ask each other "Kto Ludmila???!" (Who is Ludmila???!).

Their voices were full of surprise and frustration, though I sometimes could detect a tinge of admiration in their voice as well.

I kept silent and hunkered down a little more in front of my computer, not wanting to reveal my identify as American, should they ask me further questions, though a few probably already guessed from before.

Then, the real Ludmila walked into the room, having finished her class, and heads and eyes left the monitors to track her movements and destination, making them easy targets for me to dispatch.

It was a lot of fun, and most of them had no idea that an American was beating them up in Counterstrike.

*****************

-Deckard

... in response to I plan on doing that wsbill, posted by Deckard on Apr 29, 2003

How are you able to spend 5 months in Crimea.  I would lose my job if tried to do something like that.

... in response to Envy you to an extent, posted by Bobby Orr on Apr 29, 2003

I would lose my job too! That's why I turned in my letter of resignation recently.

I say 5-10 months because that's my guess as to how long it will take for filing an I-130 and waiting for it to be processed, after we're married.

Luda and I will have to get by on my savings, which, though not a lot, is enough to make it if we don't eat out a lot while there, and are generally very conservative. If we can live off of a very tight budget, we'll do just fine.

But no love lost for my job. It's exactly that to me... it just pays the bills. I was doing really well at it, and was forced to turn down a promotion because of my upcoming trip, but I only did well at it because of my work ethics, not because I loved the job. And with the computer industry the way it is these days, most jobs aren't very secure. My employer couldn't even guarantee me that I'd still have my job if I took a leave of absence for 8-10 weeks.

Keeping a job usually means security, but in my case, my "security" wasn't very secure. How would I feel, if I left Luda behind for a second time, and still lost my job just before I returned to work?

Again, I followed my heart and decided to keep my priorities straight.

We've got some difficult times ahead, it won't be all rosy, just because we're married and together over there. There will be plenty of obstacles.

But no matter what I face, I will *not* quit.

A benefit which I just realized, will be that by the time I return to the states with her, she and I would have already been married for at least a few months, so we will have less of a load than most new American husband/FSU wives to deal with, regarding adjusting to married life and helping her to adapt to her new life.

Still, I'm prepared for another difficult time when she gets here.

Which reminds me of something KenC posted a while back which I saved.

... in response to Envy you to an extent, posted by Bobby Orr on Apr 29, 2003

According to his profile, Deckard is only 25. I am guessing that a young guy of 25 might still be able to live at home if required.  I know my kids lived with me well into their 20s and I didn't charge them room and board so they could have taken off as long as they wanted and always had a place to return to.

... in response to Re: Envy you to an extent, posted by lswote on Apr 29, 2003

Actually, my folks have been very supportive of my decisions, albeit worried at times. My mother even offered Luda and I to stay with her upon my return if we're in dire need of a place to stay (I'm moving out of my apartment as there is no need to keep one if I'm gone for most of a year), at least until I get a job.

It is very fortunate that I have parents wanting to help us out.

It is possible that my mother may even be able to make our wedding in Crimea.

Nice pictures Iswote! How is your new wife adapting to the U.S.?

-Deckard