Planet-Love.com Searchable Archives

I'm looking for guys who have been members of 1russianlady (www.1russianlady.com) during 2001 (especially last half), and especially if anyone corresponded with, or has any information about, a Nataly S. from Pavlograd.  Please email me svanos@queencity.com

THANKS!

... in response to Looking for guys who used 1russianlady, posted by svanos1 on Apr 13, 2003

http://www.global7network.com/ru/us_en/messageboard/locate/viewpost.asp?mb=lo&p=1&post=665

... in response to Looking for guys who used 1russianlady, posted by svanos1 on Apr 13, 2003

Maybe someone has contacted her before and if she's true to you, maybe you can see if she's playing the field.

Sounds like she makes $70 a week verse $70 a month, though.

... in response to Looking for guys who used 1russianlady, posted by svanos1 on Apr 13, 2003

We're curious to know what's going on with you ?

... in response to Re: Why ?, posted by wsbill on Apr 14, 2003

Bill,

Without going into minute details...I met a Ukrainian woman who presented herself as close to 'pure as the driven snow' at 34 years old. The profile I saw of her on the internet at bride.ru was only 2 weeks old when I saw it and wrote to her back in September.

I later learned that in March of 2002 she went to Egypt for a week (some of the photos she sent me said 'in Egypt last March'), and then in May of 2002 she went to Cyprus for a week. Then, a month later, she bought a home computer for $500 and a Canon APS camera for $125, and then in August of 2002, bought her son a $75 bicycle and took him to the Crimea for vacation. All on a salary of $70 a month.

She claims she used her own money to make these trips (had it saved) and went with a girlfriend, yet all photos of these trips are only of her.

I more or less believed her. Also, she told me that the profile she put on bride.ru was the first profile she had ever posted on the internet, and that I was the first foreigner she had ever met.

Then, last week, while searching some of the agency websites, I find her profile on 1russianlady and it was posted there back in the fall of 2001! I know this because I know when the photographs she used were made.

So, I'm just taking a 'wild ass' chance that somebody on this list might know something.

What I can say is that since I started writing to this lady back in September, and 3 times I've met her since then, she has been nothing but 'true blue' and above critisizm.  I just don't understand why she wants to keep this 'little' secret a secret.

Do you? I won't bite if you do.

... in response to Re: Re: Why ?, posted by svanos1 on Apr 14, 2003

[This message has been edited by Scaught]

As long as she has been straight with you since you met her and things are going well, I don't see a real problem. Don't manufacture one, if you want to keep her. It is my understanding that culturally FSU women aren't as open about discussing past relationships as Americans are. Do we men tell our women every lurid detail about our histories? Of course not! Don't be a hypocrite. So she dated someone before... so what? She's probably a desirable woman, not a nun. He took her to another country? Why not? It beats the hometown. She didn't even know you then, so why would you care? She has to tell you everything? Why? How constructive is that going to be? What's the point? This is your test of trust? Not very culturally sensitive to put so much weight on this issue for your test. So you never took another woman on a trip before, or gave her some presents? Does she grill you about all your past activities. Do you think she should ask around the internet about you to dig up something on you? She has a lot more to lose than you, I bet-- her family, her country... I bet she wouldn't want to grill you because it's all in the past before you knew her and she wants to trust you, and therefore doesn't give you a grilling.

Build up trust based on the present and future, not for the days before you met. Don't let people make you doubt her. (Trip(s) abroad = prostitute... give me a break!) Don't look for trouble when there isn't any real trouble. You drive her crazy and she'll think you're a nut case if it gets bad enough and run-- and no one would blame her. Some times there's smoke because the girl is hot, and you're jealous and possessive (not because of an actual fire).

Does this make any sense to you?

P.S. What surprised me is that you are married? And you have these trust issues, or are inventing them.

... in response to No Problemo, posted by Scaught on Apr 16, 2003

I agree with most everything you say.  But, I have been very open with her and I've even told her when and how many women I've sleep with (not too many, less than 10).  The thing that sort of 'stabs' me is not what she did, but the fact that she allowed our relationship to be built on the false pretense that she had never met another foreign man, and she even told me that it had been many years since she had had a sexual relationship.  She also directly told me that the profile I saw of her (posted in 9/2002) was the only one she had ever put on the internet, and that she 'hated' the internet.  Then I find one from late summer 2001 that I know she posted.  It isn't what she did, it is the way she painted an entirely different 'image' of herself to me when the relationship was taking form.  Now, I'm having to 'readjust'.  And that is with me assuming the 'best' from what might have happened, not the worst.

... in response to Re: No Problemo, posted by svanos1 on Apr 16, 2003

Man, I am on your side. I want this to work out for you. I think a lot of guys blow it sooner or later by being overly suspicious, forever searching for red flags. It's really sad to see. Take the time (like you-- three trips-- great!) to get to know her, and everything that's really important becomes known, eventually. If the ladies scrutinized us for red flags, who among us would get a date? I sometimes cringe when I read some of these posts by guys who have rejected good women because their imaginations tortured them and they insisted that the world work differently than it does.

Point well taken about how she characterized herself. However, I bet she did give you overall an accurate characterization of herself, just leaving out one situation that isn't really any of your business (it's before you met her). You haven't left out your falls from grace, have you, when you confessed to her? From the people I know in Ukraine, it's really considered bad taste to insist on digging all that old stuff up about previous relationships. I let my girlfriend tell me on her own. I never asked, and I never will. She told me enough. Her friends also filled in a few blanks. If it's important, I know she'll tell me. When she asked me about my previous girlfriends, I said, "Do you really want to know?" She dropped it. Don't expect a reciprocation in airing dirty laundry-- it's one of those cultural differences. If you are going to hold this against her forever, your relationship is going to eventually go down the tubes, you know. It prevents you to a degree from trusting her and moving forward. It's your call if you're going to let this continue to affect progression to real trust in the here and now.

You also make the point about whether or not she met another foreigner. I don't see why this would be important. I chose to write to the most beautiful woman I saw on a massive website, and I assumed she was inundated with offers, and she was. I think most guys are looking for attractive women, non-nun types and should take claims to nunhood with humor. It's all relative. My current girlfriend (known her two years, four trips just to see her) has lived like a nun herself compared to some people I have dated in the U.S.

... in response to Re: Re: Why ?, posted by svanos1 on Apr 14, 2003

It is best
to avoid ladies
that have travel experience
outside the FSU.

... in response to Word to the Wise, posted by WmGo on Apr 14, 2003

Why?

... in response to Re: Word to the Wise, posted by svanos1 on Apr 14, 2003

Because when you've seen a woman that has been all over Europe and the world then she is taking a lot of guys for a ride.  They don't have the income to support any travel except maybe to Turkey or a few other cheap places.  At worst, they could be a prostitute.  At best, just dating a lot of foreigners or they have rich friends.  One girl told me she she has been engaged to 10 men and traveled to over 40 countries in 2 years.  If you guys always wonder who I'm talking about, go to the EC russianladies web site and look at the picture of the girl in the top corner.  She used to be a successful teen model in Europe.  That's the girl.

... in response to Re: Re: Word to the Wise, posted by BubbaGump on Apr 15, 2003

nt

... in response to Re: Re: Word to the Wise, posted by BubbaGump on Apr 15, 2003

Well, this doesn't apply to this lady.  She has only been outside the Ukraine 2 times, and I know that for a fact (her son told me).  So, in this case, there is nothing that drastic going on.  I just believe she was a relationship going with a foreign man last spring and something didn't work out and she won't tell me about it, and is in fact, going overboard to keep it a secret.  My opinion is that she thinks it would upset me because she has already told me I'm the frist foreign man she ever met and she has waited too long to tell me, and now she sees it as just protecting the relationship.  I've been to her apartment 3 times, and trust me, she hasn't had any 'rich' boyfriends.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Word to the Wise, posted by svanos1 on Apr 15, 2003

what you stated was her income and her recent purchases it is obvious that she *does* have a well to do "boyfriend(s)".

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Word to the Wise, posted by svanos1 on Apr 15, 2003

Just discuss it with her politely the next time you see her.  Take it from there.  I assume from what you are saying that she had a previous relationship with a foreign man that did not ultimately work out.  She has to come clean with this.  If she convinces you that she never met a foreign man, despite being on at least one past website, then you should find out how she has traveled etc.  

In general, I second WMGo, best to avoid FSU women who have been abroad - because they either A. are or were prostitutes; B. have previously used foreigners for tickets / trips etc.  C.  Are just looking for fun abroad and not really looking for a husband.

Of course, each particular situation is unique - so get to the bottom of it and go from there.  Best of luck.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Word to the Wise, posted by Bobby Orr on Apr 15, 2003

I have tried to talk to her about it, twice. And she turns the tables on me as if there is something 'wrong' with me because I am so curious and don't believe her.  But, she was only out of the country 2 times, and not anything like what some of you have described.  I think she is embarrassed that something didn't work out and just doesn't want me to know.

... in response to Re: Word to the Wise, posted by svanos1 on Apr 15, 2003

I only have the information you presented to this board.  You will have major situations to handle together when you are married.  If you find her behavior acceptable today then do not sweat it.  If it was me in your shoes, I would have a very hard time with a woman who tries to turn the tables on me as if there is something wrong with me, when she is the one who was caught in a lie and then refuses to come clean.

... in response to What if you were married?, posted by Bobby Orr on Apr 15, 2003

Well, we are married, and I'm NUTS about her!  And she is a very nice woman unless I'm being TOTALLY fooled.  But, she sure as heck won't tell me the truth about Jan 2002-July2002.  Something way out of the ordinary happened in her life during that time and she is lip sealed.  btw, she will be here in USA the night of 18th! day after tomorrow!

... in response to Re: What if you were married?, posted by svanos1 on Apr 15, 2003

"she sure as heck won't tell me the truth"

This sure sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.  I'm all for giving someone a chance, but how do you deal with someone who won't tell you the truth?  Why would you want to?

I just ended a relationship with someone who wasn't telling me the truth.  Have you considered doing the same thing here? I mean you just can't trust her!

... in response to Re: Re: What if you were married?, posted by Alfred on Apr 15, 2003

the thing that is so strange is that some of the first photos she sent me (during 1st week or 2 we started emailing everyday) were ones made in Cyprus.  She even included a little sentence on some of them saying 'in Cyprus May 2002'.  So she definitely wasn't trying to keep the fact that she went there or to Egypt a secret.  She also sent me a scanned photo of her foreign passport very early on, and it was only issued in Oct of 2001, but this happens to be just after she put her photo on 1russian lady.  Hmmmm....  I still just think she met someone she thought there was potential with (like she did with me) and he chose Egypt and Cyprus and she went along with it, and then he dumped her.  You see, she did admit to me that she had a relationship with a guy in Jan-Feb of 2002 and that he 'fooled her' - but she said it was a local guy and that it was fairly brief.  I believe that this was her way of telling me 'sort of' the truth, but keeping secret that he was a foreigner who she really met in Cyprus or Egypt.  I'm almost to the point that it isn't important anymore.  The guy who met her might even be reading these emails.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: What if you were married?, posted by svanos1 on Apr 15, 2003

Well, I hope we helped you solidify whatever you were thinking is the best course of action for you to take.  I assume you will drop the whole issue and start your marriage on a good note, letting the past just be the past. Good luck with your marriage.

... in response to Re: Re: Why ?, posted by svanos1 on Apr 14, 2003

Just kidding man. Seriously those are some red flags there. Enough for a Chinese Communist party parade. What is REALLY bad considering you said she appears to be pretty genuine so far is the fact that she has had to lie about it. Then again...I had my Marina show up on web pages she didn't put herself on. However in your case it was prior right? That throws a twist into things.