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GoodWife / Planet-Love Archives => Threads started in 2003 => Topic started by: Watcher on February 11, 2003, 05:00:00 AM



Title: Has this happened to anyone????????????????
Post by: Watcher on February 11, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
Hi everybody I just has a question. I have broke up with my RW (K1 was pending) but she will still e-mail me on occasion. Last email she stated that one of the reason that she broke up with me is that she felt that a foreign man should make his RW "more comfortable". She lives in a city of 1.5 million and makes 350.00 a month for herself. She lives with her parents whom both work also.I did send her a ATM card and gave her a allowence of $230.00 a month for six months which she overdrew almost each month so I stopped it. In the future when I find that next and hopefully last RW should I send her more?Just want to get some kind of feel for the proper amount.
Thanks


Title: Re: Has this happened to anyone????????????????
Post by: Quasimoto on February 14, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Has this happened to anyone?????????????..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

Same thing happened to me over and over, and she gave me the same reasoning. I told her that it was over!

Steve



Title: Re: Has this happened to anyone????????????????
Post by: Travis on February 13, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Has this happened to anyone?????????????..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

Besides helping with English lessons or something along those lines, don't send anything. I did send money to my future wife and it was a huge mistake...one I'm still paying for!


Title: Don't you know
Post by: WmGo on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Has this happened to anyone?????????????..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

that the bare minimum to send your FSUW fiance is $1000 a month? Most men send more. Anything less would make you a cheapskate who obviously has no love for the woman. After all, these are only economic relationships.

Better luck next time.

WmGO

P.S. The going rate to send them before you meet them is $350 per month. That is the current threshold amount for determing your worthiness. $500 is much better.



Title: Re: Don't you know
Post by: juio99 on February 13, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Don't you know, posted by WmGo on Feb 12, 2003

OK, then I am going to send $1,001 to those ladies I have met and $501 to those I haven't met yet.  That should really show them.  Thanks for the tip.

JR



Title: It's a joke that you even have to ask.....
Post by: Ryan on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Has this happened to anyone?????????????..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

After so much that has been written on this board about not sending money and especially after this first experience of yours that you would even ask this question.  

Speaking from my experience, with a few women from FSU area, it is really true that the good ones do not want your money and will even refuse it.  The first woman I got involved with lived in the Ukraine I sent her money before I even met her, I sort of Americanized her and she expected the money when I met her it went bad and I no longer talk or write to her today.   My second try I found another Ukraine woman, I only wrote to her and she never asked for money.  I even offered to send her something one time and she refused.  I know it was stupid to offer but it was sort of a test of mine.  Anyway with this second one I never pursued it any farther as we really had no connection even in our writing.  My third try I went to Russia and wrote to her, during this course of about 6 months of writing money came up about two times each time she made it clear that she didn’t like talking about money and that it was of no concern to her.  I offered to send her money so that she could meet me in Moscow as she lives in Togliatti.  She refused the money and said if I would like I could repay her after we met.  Everything went wonderful on our first meeting and continues in that manor today.  I just received my valentine day gift from her in the mail one of many gifts that she sends to me.  She is a good woman and real good woman would never consider talking about money even if she only had one rubel left in her pocket.  

In saying this it is my understanding when a good woman says that a foreign man is to make her feel comfortable on her visit and stay it mean in a mental and physical sense more then just giving her money all the time so she can go shopping or what ever.  Look you blew it by giving her an ATM card with an allowance and your even more blind when you simply overlooked the fact that she would overdraw the account.  You either crazy or simply a fat toad playing outside of your league?   Tell me was the woman arm candy or a trophy woman for you?

It is my feeling that to make this happen men should be completely honest with themselves.  



Title: A mistake is easy to make, a remedy more difficult to
Post by: tim360z on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to It's a joke that you even have to ask......, posted by Ryan on Feb 12, 2003

find.  Take it easy on the guy Ry.  We guys do tend to make mistakes...we all do.  Sometimes a little money is so easy to give...sometimes it even makes us feel better by the act of giving it.  Most charities know this and angle their pitch in such a way as to make one feel better.  And some women can make a guy feel very very good,  because he spent money on her.


Title: here is one of my examples...
Post by: chuck12 on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Has this happened to anyone?????????????..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

When I first met my RW in Moscow for a week, and it was the last day before my departure I had close to 2,000 rubles remaining. I hadn't planned on changing the money back to U.S. funds, I figured I would give it to her for expenses since she was traveling back to Volgograd, (her flight was already paid for). I told her as we were getting ready to go to the airport, I wanted her to have some extra cash. She was fairly stubborn not wanting anything, telling me she didn't need my money, she had enough. Well, I didn't really believe her, so I asked her for her purse & quickly scoured through it. Yes, she was loaded, she had $5 rubles and change. I stuffed the 2,000 rubles in her purse and gave her a look that she knew it would do no good to argue, they do know when to be quiet sometimes :) This is an example of a gal who really could have used the money but would not take it... and she lived by herself and making 1/2 of what your ex RW was making.


Title: put those pumps on the other feets....
Post by: yoe on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to here is one of my examples..., posted by chuck12 on Feb 12, 2003

if your little lady started putting on pounds, would you still bring her over? men go to FSU to find young, pretty and maybe educated women-when they are old, not so hansome and usuallu not well educated in the arts (which these women usually are). Now women look for stability. They so not care so much for the good looks or weight problems. But they do expect to be taken care of. So if you tell your fiance, 'hey girl, you can get by on $100 a month-you did it before me!" Would you want to marry you? Especially a doctor.........my god. When you guys go there and live for a year on $100 a month---------then come back to the board and brag about the lavish lifestyle. Until then.........I feel sorry for your fiances. I would never treat a woman I loved like this--------I would not even treat my dog like this. But that is just me.
Joe


Title: Joe, I don't wear pumps but read on...
Post by: chuck12 on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to put those pumps on the other feets...., posted by yoe on Feb 12, 2003

Joe, whats your point? If an RW or UW requires you to send her funds while she waits for a K-1, it should be for a very good reason. The support comes when the two of you together. If it took 6 or 8 mos to file for a K-1 and you send her over hundreds or a couple grand over this period, and then she tells you to hit the road, all your generosity and go intentions are vapor.  Sending all the money overseas is not the same thing as giving her all the support and nuturing she is going to need when she arrives, get a grip and don't think all you have to do is send money to prove your undying love and she is yours for life. I want her to want to be with me and not influence her with my generosity, you will get yourself into a lot of trouble if you go down that road.
P.S. I don't send my dog any money either and he's never complained about it.


Title: Re: read on...
Post by: WmGo on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Joe, I don't wear pumps but read on..., posted by chuck12 on Feb 12, 2003

Chuckster,
It is a waste of time to try to reason with a fool, especially one who thinks he knows everything but adds nothing but worthless drivel.


Title: hey billy..........
Post by: yoe on February 13, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: read on..., posted by WmGo on Feb 12, 2003

I know you are but what am I?
hahahahaha
come on dude what is up with you conservatives and preemtive strikes.......a violent bunch ain't ya. Ya need need some Jesus son,,,,,,,,and I talkin' the little spanish boy sellin' oranges down the street......see where that takes your mind!
Joe ;)


Title: Re: Re: read on...
Post by: Rando on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: read on..., posted by WmGo on Feb 12, 2003

Insted of worring about the pumps...why dont you guys try each others shoes on. No one has to or should agree here on every issue...but whats up with all the name calling?

For myself....hell I dont know crap....and the older I get, the less I seem to know. But Im trying to learn...thats why Im here...I like to hear "both" sides.



Title: just keep reading......
Post by: yoe on February 13, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: read on..., posted by Rando on Feb 12, 2003

.after Bill quits talkin out of his azz, you will get his better side........hahaha
Joe
you must admit, I can be a funny bastard.......I just wish my wife could appreciate it!:)


Title: I will take responsibility for being misunderstood....
Post by: yoe on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Joe, I don't wear pumps but read on..., posted by chuck12 on Feb 12, 2003

never condoned sending money to women who asked for it. Let me lay it out.
1. If you can afford it-why not help your soon to be WIFE
2. If you are living large and she is barely living-again why not help
3. My wife should not need to ask for money........
4. If I am making over $10k a month, my wife has reason to wonder why I would complain about $200+ a month I was sending her........her friends are probably getting more from guys who make less
5. I know your dog does not ask for money but I am sure that he is not living in a mud hole eating grass.....if he is you do not deserve a dog. If your 'wife' is living in poverty while you are living it up on a moderate 6 figures.....I would say that you do not deserve a wife-at least one with any credentials.
This is my opinion only. I do not mean to be crass...But my family hold the highest value in my life. If I question taking care of this-I must question myself as a man.
Joe


Title: Sounds like you were too generous...
Post by: chuck12 on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Has this happened to anyone?????????????..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

Sorry to hear about your relationship going south. A good RW will not want your money but want to be with you, of course she will expect you to support & provide for her, but that would come after she arrives. This gal is making $350 mos, living with her parents and you are sending an additional $250 mos? and she still overdraws. If your an AM in Russia, a $100 might not go a long way, but if you are a RW, I think a $100 go a very long way, especially when you share costs with your parents.

The funds you sent her was not necessary, she managed to get by before she met you so these regularly payments would have been helpful, but probably to buy things she wouldn't normally buy.  What was she spending all the money on?

Well, if she cut the relationship because she didn't think you provided her with enough comfort after sending her $1500 over six months, she did you a favor. Look elsewhere, she is a gold digger, and you can get one of those here.



Title: I seem to take the RW side but it only to be fair...
Post by: yoe on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Has this happened to anyone?????????????..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

how old was this girl? If she was in her 20's then there ya go. Men wonder why these women want a man who can support them and I wonder why men want a woman much younger. After one of my attorney's found that I was going to get a RW his first remark was, "is she a rocket scientist?" I could not go over and get a regular woman. She had to be spectacular-educated, beautiful, cooks, cleans and a good lover.......but I have not yet one AW who could meet these demands. Luckily my wife is pretty hot! She just complains too much sometimes,,,,,,,,,,,but living with me may give her merit. So before I question the motives of the woman, I question the motives of the man-we are the instigators........Joe


Title: Re: I seem to take the RW side but it only to be fair...
Post by: mender on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to I seem to take the RW side but it only t..., posted by yoe on Feb 12, 2003

So, did you finally, get that second Hoover working ?


Title: I became the second hoover..........
Post by: yoe on February 13, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: I seem to take the RW side but it on..., posted by mender on Feb 12, 2003

still suckin' air.......:)
Yoe


Title: Just throw money!
Post by: Rags on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Has this happened to anyone?????????????..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

I limited my money sent to driving lessons, English lessons (personal lessons not the group ones she had been been taking), and enough to cover the costs associated with getting her paperwork done.

The "driving lessons" were pretty much a waste as I found out the first time she got behind the wheel but it may save me a little when money in insurance premiums as they are based on years of driving expirience (LOL).



Title: Re: Has this happened to anyone????????????????
Post by: micha1 on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Has this happened to anyone?????????????..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

You state that she overdrew every month.
The real problem is there.
You must have had some sort of understanding with her,
about the amount, the $230.
Either, she is a flake or did not give a hoot about you.

Also, it is understandable, what has happen.
Because, you did not answer any of the questions that
were asked. following your post.



Title: It's a difficult thing
Post by: Pordzhik on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Has this happened to anyone?????????????..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

to stand back and do nothing after seeing the hardships that the woman you love has to cope with. I think Yoe's $100 per week and even Watcher's $230 per month was a bit excessive, consider what these women would earn before you showed up? Something like $100 per month or even much less.

My fiancee was earning 100 grivna (do the math)per month (information that was not forthcoming for five months), so essentialy her family were keeping her, yet never did she ask, suggest or hint that I should supply her with extra cash. Of course I did see the situation her family were in, father often going unpaid for several months, mother semi-retired, the upkeep of the family fell on the shoulders of the brother and what they could grow at the dacha.

How did I help? My visits were often monthly and I'd bring gifts of clothes for all (much needed and better prices and quality here in England) vitamins and medicines (again better prices and trusted quality here in England). Rebuilt the back wall of the dacha, rebuilt the engine (again with cheaper parts and gaskets bought here) of her brothers car.

I always made sure that there was too much meat and foodstuffs for my weekend visits in our rented flat (for her to take home) vegetables and fruits being supplied from the dacha. I used to give my fiancee just a little too much money to pay for the rented flat, she would always hand me the surplus (usualy $25-$30) I would tell her to keep it for my next visit or that she may need it for something.



Title: Re: Has this happened to anyone????????????????
Post by: Rando on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Has this happened to anyone?????????????..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

Watcher,

Would you answer a couple of questions please?

How long did you know this girl?

What city was she from?

How did you decide on an amount of $230 or any amount per month to send her? Did she ask you to do this?

Isnt $350 a month a great wage in FSU? What did she do?

When you were with her ...did she ask you to buy her things?

How old is she? And what was the age difference?

I think if you answer these questions it may help some here to get a better grasp of your situation and then to properly advise you on your next "shot". Plus we all benefit and learn from this.

I have gotten some good advice and I have learned much here just by reading. So perhaps by telling more of this story it can help both you and others to avoid a similar situation before it becomes so costly...both emotionally and economically.

I was under the impression that the average wage was more like $50 a month....so this girl should have lived like a queen on her own wage. Im new and just learning though so I dont really know.

Thanks and good luck in the future.

Randy



Title: very common............
Post by: yoe on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Has this happened to anyone?????????????..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

I sent my then fiance over $100 a week plus a few extra bucks a month for herself. If this was going to be my wife-I was going to treat her as such. NextI never promised her anything..........
1. Many guys try to make themselves more of an investment than they really are
2. some guys are stingy and send nothing-read the archive for Dante
I did many things that I would not do now.......not because I had a bad experience. I just know better now. It is hard to be rational after you have had some time with a passionate RW. You are both living a fantasy. She probably believes that you are loaded and that you are being greedy. You may have given her reason to think this. I cannot say who is right or who is wrong, but it looks like you may have saved both of yourselves much misery.
Joe
next time, to not put all the chips on the table. Just be honest and if you offer the candy dish, do not be upset when it is taken. These ladies love candy.
Lastly, these ladies feel teh man should be 'the man'. do not forget this.


Title: Re: Has this happened to anyone????????????????
Post by: Oscar on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Has this happened to anyone?????????????..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

I can't see why you would send her money.  How did she survive before you came along?  Is there any reason to think she could not continue to survive after you're gone??  Of course not...  
I just will never understand why so many guys go over, meet a RW and then all of a sudden feel it's necessary to "set her up" with an allowance or paying all her bills, support her there etc., when she got along perfectly well on her own before he ever came into the picture.  No self-respecting RW worth her salt will allow a guy to pay her way..
So in answer to your question, "How much should you pay"?  I would say if she needs English lessons and you want to pay for those, great.  Anything more, she should not be very willing to take IMO..  



Title: Why ????????????????
Post by: tim360z on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Has this happened to anyone?????????..., posted by Oscar on Feb 12, 2003

'Cuz its relatively inexpensive for some guy to do that.  Because he can.


Title: Re: Why ????????????????
Post by: Oscar on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Why ????????????????, posted by tim360z on Feb 12, 2003

Not sure I undestand your post..  It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that a guy "can" do it and it's inexpensive for him.  It has to do with a woman who EXPECTS or demands it.  Again, no self-respecting RW I ever met (including my fiance) would ever ask for or expect a man to pay for things other than perhaps English lessons and the costs associated with her K-1 before coming here.

If a guy wants to completely support his girl before her coming here or put her on some kind of "allowance", that's certainly his choice, but I personally feel it is a huge mistake..

My 2 cents



Title: In a perfect world, money
Post by: tim360z on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Why ????????????????, posted by Oscar on Feb 12, 2003

would not have much of an effect on a relationship.  This world is not perfect.  No matter how well intentioned--- money can be a corrupter.  A man will only  spend this said money ($230 per month) firstly because he can,  has the economic wherewithal to do so.  Second,  he has the incliniation...for whatever reason.  Like medicene,  too much money or too little can have a bad effect.  I think caution and the proper doseage would be the best course if money is to be involved prior to marriage.  After said marriage a man can and will be spending more than he dreamed of---perhaps for excellent results or not.  Irregardless.  The few RW's I know only make $300-$400 per month and would definitely not take money from me if offered.  They would be insulted.  And their monthly income for us here may not seem like alot,  but they are quite skillful at handling money in their country.


Title: Well said....
Post by: LP on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to In a perfect world, money, posted by tim360z on Feb 12, 2003

...I agree. It can be argued that sending money has two impacts. One, it effects the individuals involved in some manner (good or bad is not the point here) and two, it effects the big picture in a general way. Some believe the word spreads and it simply fosters an attitude among these women that a man is easy pickins. Both have merit although the second lacks some accuracy because of generalization. For a guy to send money to a women he never met seems dicey, for him to help out during visa processing is not. It all depends on how he does it, the frequency, what it's buying, etc. How old and mature she is and her life experience factor into it also. There simply can't be any hard and fast rule.

Ignoring the "it increases the scammer population" theory (which in itself ignores individuals) the "because he can" and "because he's inclined" points are well taken. When an idividual has an income of that range or has lots of disposable income (it's not what you make, it's what you keep...or need) than the impact is minimal to him while significant for her. If he loses it, big deal. Assuming one has not been a financial idiot in his youth, there comes a time in life when accumulating money is not the driving force it used to be. Do you think Bill Gates would care if he "lost" a few hundred *thousand* smackers a month to an FSU chick? The theory is the same, the numbers are just on a smaller scale.

I'm not even searching and I still send a few bucks over to women I consider friends. I don't feel for a second like I'm being scammed because I know these people are genuine and need the help. Nor do I provide for them on any regular basis, it's only when they have a need. They have no shame in asking and they shouldn't. Wouldn't you do this for your local friends? Why do I do it? Like he said...because I can, I'm inclined and because it's no loss for me and a great help for them. As they say, you can't take it with you....

Relationships cost money either directly or indirectly, no getting around that. Money for airfare, gifts, flats, etc, to make the trips is just as "wasted" if a particular girl doesn't pan out. (Which is why they should be spread over meeting many chicks, but thats another argument.) In fact, it's wasted more because she didn't directly benefit from those travel expenses.

For the youngsters starting out these costs may be painful, for those who've had more success or time in life it's no big deal. Use your head (and your heart only when you're sure it's a good deal) to send support. Would you give money to a stranger on the street? Would you come to the aid of a friend in need, even if she was not going to be your life's mate? Do you contribute to domestic charities? Feel good about helping others? How much did you piss away last month on booze, smokes, dope, hookers or other nonsense at home? Look at all the variables and then decide. In the end it's all the same: You had the money and now you don't because you gave it to someone else. If you got taken it's almost always your own fault. None of these actions need to be treated much differently than you would treat them at home.

Most of us don't mind the costs but we do look at it from a value standpoint. We want to feel we "got" something for our money. As long as we do it's usually no loss to us. If we feel we got taken it's because of our own perspective. Besides, did anyone really think this was gonna be cheap? You have to ask yourself: Are my beloved dollars really *that* important to me? If so, best find a cheaper sandbox to play in.

Of course, as Dennis Miller would say: All this is just my opinion, I could be wrong. Lol, it could be some of you are simply the cheapest SOBs to ever walk the face of the Earth.



Title: I was just thinking of you and ........
Post by: yoe on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Well said...., posted by LP on Feb 12, 2003

Dennis Miller. Miller was the host on my new Hero's show-Phil Donahue! They kinda reminded me of 'us'.......I got a little teary eyed........and by us and mean you and I.X8O}.sparky yoe


Title: I think LP that being Cheap...ain't the best
Post by: tim360z on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Well said...., posted by LP on Feb 12, 2003

idea in life.  Neither,  is throwing money helter-skelter.  Somewhere along the line,  there is a balance between each extreme.  That balance is arrived at with one's brain and heart and hopefully some lifes experience.  Good & bad.  Hopefully a little wisdom has been learned.  In any case neither the helter-skelter nor the cheap guy ain't gonna be having a positive relationship with anybody.  In short time, any woman sees the guy is a fool.

Udderwise,  how are you doin'???



Title: Da.....
Post by: LP on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to I think LP that being Cheap...ain't the ..., posted by tim360z on Feb 12, 2003

...Throwin it around is no good also but one man's helter- skelter is another's chump change, it's all relative. I think it may be best viewed it thru the eyes of the receiver's economy and lifestyle. Udderwise, (smile) me thinks yer comments are dead nuts on.

Doing fine. Workin again after a slight medical issue. (Darn Feds, always afraid we're gonna just keel over and slump in the belts). All else is OK, may be goin to the FSU with a pal who asked me to hold his hand if I can convince my housemate it's not a big game expedition. (lol, I keep sayin no but sometimes I'm not sure meself ;-)

How bout you? Not around here too often lately...any progress?



Title: All relative...Ya know...
Post by: tim360z on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Da....., posted by LP on Feb 12, 2003

Money is a very relative thing...and a funny thing too.  Thank goodness I can always throw a few away on what I may consider..."a good cause".  But,  a little brains---goes a very long way.  Peace.  Tim


Title: "cheapest SOBs to ever walk the face of the Earth" . . .
Post by: Dan on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Well said...., posted by LP on Feb 12, 2003

Now THAT would be quite a contest!!

I can think of several candidates for the moniker.

LOL

- Dan



Title: let us think about this.........
Post by: yoe on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Why ????????????????, posted by Oscar on Feb 12, 2003

lets assume that a man's fiance IS living a life of distress. Let us also assume this man loves this fiance. Let us finally assume that this man is living very well in the Golden world of USofA. Does it seem like this man is righteaous to leave the woman he loves in dire straits for 3-12 months while he is sitting fat? This is merely a rhetorical question. But this was my mindset going in. If I was going to get this woman involved in me and I wanted my new 'family' to be without problems it started at the time I proposed. Again that is my mentality. Maybe when your girls get heree they may also think that you do not deserve any 'extras'.............the goose and gander metaphor.
Joe


Title: Re: let us think about this.........
Post by: Oscar on February 13, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to let us think about this........., posted by yoe on Feb 12, 2003

Well, it would have to occur to me that if a guy meets a woman who is in "complete distress", is she truly interested in me or in what I can provide for her situation??  That's a tough question.  I certainly met women there who just really wanted out of their situations.  For good reason I was not terribly interested in them.  But I think it's obviously a personal choice and I think Tim is right in that each situation is different and each needs consideration.  If I meet a woman who isn't working and doesn't care that she isn't working and wants and expects me to foot her bills, I am certainly not inclined to do that.  If I meet a woman who is working and doing her best and has a legit problem that comes up, would I be willing to help?  Sure..  I'm probably a bit jaded having met so many women in the first category there..


Title: let me put this as plainly as I can,,,,,,,,,,
Post by: yoe on February 13, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: let us think about this........., posted by Oscar on Feb 13, 2003

IF YOU ARE WAITING FOR 'YOUR' FIANCE, YOUR LOVE, YOUR LIFE, YOUR DREAM COME TRUE, I JUST FEEL THAT IF ONE HAS THE MEANS, THAT ONE SHOULD TAKE CARE OF THIS 'LOVE' DUE TO THE FACT THAT 'ALL' RUSSIAN WOMEN LIVE IN DESPAIR-THAT IS WHY THEY COME HERE...........
in the midst of the sarcasm, I hope that is more clear. ONLY SEND MONEY TO YOUR FIANCE............ONLY SEND MONEY TO YOUR FIANCE----------THAT YOU HAVE MET AND ARE WAITING FOR VIA A K-1 VISA............IF YOU CAN AFFORD IT.......I know that I am a real bastard for feeling this way but fukkit man.......that is me
Joe


Title: Re: let me put this as plainly as I can,,,,,,,,,,
Post by: Oscar on February 13, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to let me put this as plainly as I can,,,,,..., posted by yoe on Feb 13, 2003

[This message has been edited by Oscar]

As before, each situation is different.  It seems that plenty of guys have chimed in above feeling there is no reason to send money aside from those expenses incurred by your bringing her here etc..  I tend to generally agree with them.  Can there be extenuating circumstances and exceptions?  Certainly.
And I do not agree that ALL RW live in despair.  My fiance did not agree with this when I mentioned the idea to her.  She was doing fine, paying her bills, has good family and friends and was quite happy.  So I think to say that they are all in "despair" would not be accurate..

My opinions of course.



Title: Re: Has this happened to anyone????????????????
Post by: mudd on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Has this happened to anyone?????????????..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

this only happens to SUCKERS who have no idea what a good girl is, which is  one that would never ask for money. lesson learned.


Title: Re: Don't send her a cent
Post by: yahoo on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Has this happened to anyone?????????????..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

Unless you like being a chump.

I don't get it.

Your looking for a wife to love you.

Tell these women you work in fast food business and your not rich.  This will scare off a good many whom are not really interested in you.



Title: Re: Has this happened to anyone????????????????
Post by: Jack on February 11, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Has this happened to anyone?????????????..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

Watcher, was there any reason for the $230 a month allowance if she continued to work while the K-1 was filed?

Often times guys will offset the revenue loss if his fiancee quits work to take English lessons, driving lessons, computer lessons, help with the K-1, etc, so it's not that un-common for guys to do IF the lady quits her job.

Many Russian ladies are very good with money and would never be overdrawn.

Any chance that maybe she took you for a ride?



Title: Re: Re: Has this happened to anyone????????????????
Post by: Watcher on February 11, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Has this happened to anyone?????????..., posted by Jack on Feb 11, 2003

Jack.

If so, the ride was worth is for as long as it lasted.Now it time for me to find the woman to bring home. :-) !Just want to know the correct amount of help in the waiting months.



Title: "The ride was.....
Post by: LP on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: Has this happened to anyone?????..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

...the ride was worth it for as long as it lasted".

Very revealing, maybe thats the problem right there.



Title: If you still need help
Post by: Marinka on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: Has this happened to anyone?????..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

you can contact me and ask your questions


Title: Yeah, try ZERO
Post by: KenC on February 12, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: Has this happened to anyone?????..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

Watcher,
There is no reason to send money at all unless you would want to cover any additional expenses incurred because of you.  Try not to lead with your wallet next time.
KenC


Title: Like Most Things in This Endeavor . . .
Post by: Dan on February 11, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: Has this happened to anyone?????..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

The answer to your question is entirely situational. Some of the variables include:

* Where does she live - village or city?
* Does she live with her family or alone?
* Does she have children?
* Does she need English lessons/tutoring?

And many, many more variables.

There are no absolutes in any of this and it depends on your ability to exercise good judgement about the lady and her very individual circumstances.

FWIW

- Dan



Title: Re: Has this happened to anyone?
Post by: Patrick on February 11, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Has this happened to anyone?????????????..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

Be glad it's over.  I think you're far better off without her.  A good woman interested in you rather than what you can do for her would never act like this.