Planet-Love.com Searchable Archives

Guys!

Does anyone have knowledge/experience regarding divorce of a woman
from Russia prior to her final application of the Green Card? I have
a friend and this is his scenario:

He married in October 2000 to Belarussian woman in good faith. After
the birth of their son in Sept. 2001, she started exhibiting very
abusive behavior towards him. From what he has shared with me (and
listen guys, this is a decent, hard working, family man who really
wanted a long lasting, loving marriage. He is no jerk. I've know
him for over 5 years and would consider him my closest friend) this
woman has hit him, spat on him, peed on his bed and bed pillow,
called him every obscenity in the world and just basically downs him
all the time. Nothing he does is right by her standards, even his
care for his son. Examples: bottles not clean enough, must use only
expensive spring water for formula, milk too hot. too cold to give
baby, if the child falls down then of course my friend is beating
him, etc. She has threatened to leave (only with their son and will
disappear with him if she leaves the country--not letting him see his
son again), etc. My friend is besides himself. He has tolerated her
abuse until he is able to find a lawyer (he was laid off from his job
and doing everything possible to make sure his son is cared for).

Now, I understand that he has had a police friend write up a couple
of police reports on her and he is called the police to their home on
a couple of occassions. He also discovered recently that she gotten
into his banking account (individual) and has been making on-line
banking transactions which he has put a stop to. He said he was
going to report this too!

My friend needs your help or advice from anyone experienced in such
matters of divorce. Here are some of his concerns he relayed to me
recently:
1) She has not received her release of Conditions (August, 2003) and
he has notified INS that he will not file the petition. What are his
options here? Can he have her deported before August 2003?
2) She expects him to give up his son (he refuses) and let her take
him back to Belarus with her. he was born in USA and has USA
passport, etc. She tells him her "lawyer" (this is in question,
tells her that my friend is "screwed" and will have to pay everything
since he signed the Affadavit of Support. Even after the divorce,
she says my friend will "keep" her forever. What about this?
3) My friend has filed police reports, but not made any charges
against her yet. He says the next time she physically attacks him,
he will have her arrested. Does having police reports or
documentation from his neighbors and friends stating their
observations and concerns regarding her have any wieght in court
divorce proceedings? Is there anything he can do to solidify his
position to keep his son here in USA?
As a note: My fiend offered to consider joint custody so that his
son would be able to have a mother figure and open to letting him
spend an agreed upon time with his mother. His concern, after her
threats, that is if his son (16months old) leaves the country, she
will take him and he will have a hell of time getting him back from a
country like Belarus.

Any help you can share, I would certainly appreciate it and forward
along to my friend (he lives in Georgia). He's a decent guy and
doesn't deserve all the grief that woman has given him. She hates me
because I am his friend and from what I understand, gets mad when my
friend calls just to say hello. It's like his life doesn't exist.
Help him out, OK??? Thanks.

I'll give you his email address in case you wish to email directly to
him and not post on the board. I have advised him of this and he is
appreciative:
reggiem1956@lycos.com

Jason

... in response to Need help/advice, posted by jboatl72 on Jan 9, 2003

Generally, my advice would be to treat this as you would an American divorce and cover yourself under divorce and custody law, particulary regarding the child so he gets custody and avoids paying child support.  If he really wants to have her deported, he should proceed with the filing of the police reports regarding her abuse and push for prosecution.  Note that since he apparently acknowledges that the marriage was entered into in good faith and they had a child, and obtained the conditional AOS, his wife can argue that she is entitled to stay on that basis.  However, with the police reports, particularly a conviction for battery, the INS may declare her an undesirable immigrant and revoke her green card, but I doubt it.  He needs a pretty big paper trail for that - photos, court records, etc.  Another approach was used by a recent poster where in his divorce proceeding he got an order for the wife to leave the country (didn't go through INS) although there was no child involved there.

Regarding the son, I suggest he file for divorce and custody.  See a lawyer and ask about obtaining an order for temporary custody.  Otherwise, she can take the son anywhere she is allowed to travel.  Because of that, he may wish to take custody of the child's passport and obtain an appropriate court order barring her from leaving the state with your child.  These are just some ideas. He really needs a good divorce lawyer to get custody.  Let the INS worry about whether the woman can stay.  You might check the archives about John LV's (David SD) saga (if you can weed through the irrelevant stuff) for more thoughts.

... in response to Re: Need help/advice, posted by Charles on Jan 9, 2003

Charles,
I have forwarded your post on to my friend.  I am sure he will find it useful and I thank you for sharing your thoughts.

... in response to Need help/advice, posted by jboatl72 on Jan 9, 2003

nt