Planet-Love.com Searchable Archives

Greetings, folks! I haven't been to this board in about 2 yrs., but it's encouraging to see some of the regs (such as Ken) are still here offering useful advice. God bless!

Two yrs. ago, I met a Russian woman (from Novosibirsk), with whom I was corresponding, while vacationing in Florence. We had an incredible time, and when I returned home I began to lay plans for visiting her in Novosibirsk and, God willing, asking her to come to live w/me in the US as my fiance.

Unfortunately, before I left, things changed a lot here. I worked across the st. from the WTC grounds, and one of the less grievous losses I experienced that horrible September day was my job.

I was out of work for 11 months and money was tight, but to make a long story short she met another guy last summer and now they're engaged.

I'm happy for her and I don't blame her for not waiting for things to settle here, there were times I thought that might never happen.

Anyway, I've spent the last 4 months dating local women, but none of them measure up to what I had with Irina. Hell, it's not even a contest. So I'm looking to give this another go, however ALL my bookmarks to reputable personals sites and listings are long gone, and so much seems to have changed since I was here last.

Can anyone help out by recommending some reputable online resources?

Thanks in advance, and I hope everyone has a prosperous New Year!

Mark A

... in response to back in the saddle, posted by Mark A on Jan 8, 2003


If you want to do it yourself (and save money), and you aren't set on a girl in Russia (meaning you would consider Ukraine) go here:

http://hey-ua.com/about.html   and place a personal ad.

If you want to have someone manage the whole thing for you, and you don't mind following someone's "system", then contact www.firstfdream.com. Frequent poster Jack Bragg owns it, and he has a system for finding a woman that has proven effective for some men. The only caveat is that he expects you to follow his system. Some can... some can't. If you can do as he says, and you have the money, this may be a good approach for you.

I don't think Elena (RW on the board here... look up her profile and drop her a line) does personal consultations anymore, which is too bad, because I heard excellent things about her. In my brief dealings with her, she seemed like a very classy lady. She used to have a great service where you would basically pay her most when she found you your bride. But I heard that her other work keeps her too busy these days.

The only commercial site I used was www.scanna.com. They are owned by the same people who own Anastasia, but I liked their layout better. The one time I bought an address from them that was no good, they replaced it with three free addresses.

I also "joined" http://www.artsalon.as. It is a pretty good deal. I wrote several sincere womem from there, I just didn't really click with any of them.

Additionally, I know an interpreter in Kherson who has some friends that are looking for sincere American men. Drop me a line at: markjoel60@hotmail.com if you are interested, and I can tell you more...

... in response to back in the saddle, posted by Mark A on Jan 8, 2003

I am probably one of the most objective posters on this board and of all of the sites I have seen, I must honestly say that Firstdream.com owned and operated by the amazing Jack Bragg is by far, the most comprehensive, customer service oriented, fact filled, useful and helpful site I have seen. Again being objective and being guilty of a run on sentence-I feel that you cannot go wrong with Firstdream.com-owned and operated by the awesome, gentlemanly, HONEST Jack Bragg
Joe

... in response to I cannot tell a lie.., posted by yoe on Jan 8, 2003

Thanks Yoe, your check is in the mail!

... in response to (*/*), posted by Jack on Jan 9, 2003

Jack, no need for checks to anyone.  I have also recommended your website recently to somebody on the alt.visa.us.marriage-based newsgroup.  Through all the past controversies you reveal a fair willingness to help those using your services and you go beyond what is required when help is needed.

I can tell everyone from personal experience that doing this alone without somebody like you to guide and help them, and even without this message board to ask advice is a risky and somewhat dangerous undertaking.

... in response to Re: (*/*), posted by John F on Jan 9, 2003

I don't know about that.  I think the alot of it depends on how much time a guy has and their basic personality type.  Going it alone may take a little longer than going with a professional (probably depends on the professional too ;-)).
Some people prefer to do things on their own.  

I have a good friend who recently returned from Italy.  He spent 11 days there on a guided tour (emphasis on art).  The only research he did was in regards to the art he was going to see.  He did not have to (or want to) research train schedules, hotels, restaurants and the like.  I am the opposite.  When I went to Italy I immersed myself in every detail.  I spent three weeks there.  The amount of art we saw was probably equal.  Now, if all I had was 11 days to spend in Italy you bet I would go guided.  I think this example applies (in general) to using a service such as First Dream or going it alone.

Going it alone equals risky and dangerous?  I don't think so.  Success can be found in either method and no matter what method you use the more one educates themselves the better off they are.

... in response to Risky and dangerous?, posted by Philb on Jan 9, 2003

I'm getting so stinking sick and tired of all the name calling, all the challenging, and the better than thou attitudes that come from this board now.

I don't know how things are today, but getting to, and visiting Crimea at a time when others were in Kiev was a frightening experience.  And, I personally had one experience with a Ukrainian man in which I am certain would have come to no good had I taken his offer to drive me to the hotel.  My wife (now) was even concerned about the incident when I told her about it.  Ukraine ain't Italy.  Italy is western Europe.  Ukraine is a troubled country.

... in response to !!!!!, posted by John F on Jan 9, 2003

I think you have missed the entire point of my post.  The point is that there is more then one way to do things.  Neither is right or wrong, dangerous or safe.  Both can be productive.  It all depends on what you want, the amount of time you can spare, etc..

No, Italy is not Ukraine and again that was not the point.  

Now, I don't believe I called you any names (nor have I ever), If you see this as a challenge, or me looking down on you that's to bad.

... in response to ????, posted by Philb on Jan 9, 2003

I had just read another thread and it affected my perspective.  Some of us really do become disillusioned with the arguing and it does have an affect on board members trying to stay out of the line of fire.

The last time I was in Ukraine was January 2000, and that was Kiev.  My initial thoughts on the post stating "risky and dangerous" was a reflection on my experience, traveling alone, and without advice or direction from anyone, to Crimea.  I did have some trying experiences, got ripped off at the Simferopol airport because I was lead to believe that I must change all my American currency there, encountered a guy who tried to get me to leave the airport with him, ran out of cash, and a whole lot more.

My point is if you deal with somebody like Jack, then you have help.  I have even observed Jack helping guys from this board who ran into problems while in FSU who didn't even buy address, arrange travel, or anything else.  I'm not saying you can't do it alone ..... I did.  But it would have been a whole lot less nerve-wracking if I had help.

... in response to Re: (*/*), posted by John F on Jan 9, 2003

John,

Did you find your wife through FirstDream's services?

I'm not being smart... I am seriously just wondering...

... in response to Just Curious, posted by MarkInTx on Jan 9, 2003

No, her address was one of two I got from a small agency that is no longer in business.  All they sold at the time was addresses and visa papers.  I guess that's why they're no longer around.

... in response to Re: (*/*), posted by John F on Jan 9, 2003

"I can tell everyone from personal experience that doing this alone without somebody like you to guide and help them, and even without this message board to ask advice is a risky and somewhat dangerous undertaking."

I can personally attest to that!!!!!!!!

... in response to Re: Re: (*/*), posted by Travis on Jan 9, 2003

Could use your help/advice to help a friend going through something similar to yours.  Can you please email me at jboatl72@nospam.com and see if I can hook you up with my friend?  Thanks a lot!

... in response to Re: (*/*), posted by John F on Jan 9, 2003

unlike the rest of the gentle folk who post to this board, Jack is an OPINIONATED sob.  :-)

... in response to I agree with all that, BUT, posted by Griffin on Jan 9, 2003

An opinion - that is.

Some posters here offer no opinions of their own whatsoever - instead always regurgitating what they read or hear elsewhere.

- Dan

... in response to Thank Goodness Jack Has One . . ., posted by Dan on Jan 9, 2003

You honestly think that this board suffers from the lack of personal opinions????

... in response to Good Lord,  Dan!, posted by MarkInTx on Jan 9, 2003

I know - let's ask Stevo! He can tell us what his wife says about the topic.

- Dan

... in response to What Would The World Be Without Opinion?..., posted by Dan on Jan 9, 2003

ggg

... in response to Wife says: "You're an idiot" (..., posted by Stevo on Jan 9, 2003

Don't go getting your knickers in a twist. It might actually stir a thought all your own. LOL

- Dan

... in response to I cannot tell a lie.., posted by yoe on Jan 8, 2003

Yoe,
Go directly to an exsercist because Oscar has taken control of your soul!
KenC

... in response to Yoe?, posted by KenC on Jan 8, 2003

.

... in response to What's an "exsercist"?  LOL!  ..., posted by Oscar on Jan 9, 2003

n/t

... in response to What's an "exsercist"?  LOL!  ..., posted by Oscar on Jan 9, 2003


Answer:

Oscar LOL (n)  

def: predictable response from the board's third most inane poster

... in response to A Typo... What's an "Oscar  LOL!&qu..., posted by MarkInTx on Jan 9, 2003

"A rube, a person easily fooled"..  Boy, if the shoe fits...

;-)

... in response to What's a "Mark"?, posted by Oscar on Jan 9, 2003

Just a few from Webster:

Mark (n) def:

1. A distinctive trait or property: "Good manners are the mark of a civilized person."

2. A lasting effect: "The experience had left its mark."

3. A particular brand, or quality of a product, especially a weapon or machine.

4. A recognized standard of quality: "schoolwork that is not up to the mark."

5. Importance; prominence:

6. Notice; attention: "a matter unworthy of mark."

7. An object or point that serves as a guide.

I'm sure that with so many to choose from, I can find a shoe that fits Oscar.

Now... speaking of shoes... maybe you want to get yours out of your mouth...?

... in response to There are many definitions..., posted by MarkInTx on Jan 9, 2003

mark [1]  (märk)  n., v.
             n.
                 1.  a visible impression on a surface, as a
                      line, spot, scratch, dent, or stain.
                 2.  a symbol used in writing or printing: a
                      punctuation mark.
                 3.  a token or indication; sign: to bow as a
                      mark of respect.
                 4.  a noticeable or lasting effect; imprint:
                      The experience had left its mark on her.
                 5.  a distinctive or characteristic trait: a
                      mark of nobility.
                 6.  a device or symbol serving to identify,
                      indicate origin or ownership, etc.
                 7.  TRADEMARK.
                 8.  a sign, usu. a cross, made instead of a
                      signature.
                 9.  a.  a symbol used in rating a student's
                           achievement; grade.
                      b.  Often,  any evaluative
                           rating: gave him high marks for
                           trying.
               10.  an object or sign serving to indicate
                      position.
               11.  a point reached, as on a scale or in a
                      process: the halfway mark.
               12.  a recognized or required standard of
                      merit: work that's not up to the mark.
               13.  a target; goal: to miss the mark.
               14.  distinction; note: a man of mark.
               15.  a.  an object of derision or abuse: an
                           easy mark for bullies.
                      b.  the victim of a swindle.
               16.  (cap.) (used with a numeral to designate a
                      model of an item of manufacture, as a
                      weapon or car.).
               17.  the starting line in a race.
               18.  any of the points marked at intervals on a
                      sounding line to indicate depth.
               19.  a tract of land held in common by a
                      medieval Germanic community.
               20.  Archaic. land forming a boundary.

... in response to There are many definitions..., posted by MarkInTx on Jan 9, 2003

No, I think most people here are pretty satisfied with a single definition-  "Putz" comes rather readily to mind..
And the only place MY shoe has been recently, it was kicking your sorry butt! LOL!  ;-)

Have a good day though (Just be glad I was wearing tennis shoes at the time and not cowboy boots!  ;-)

... in response to Nah, just one-, posted by Oscar on Jan 9, 2003

n/t

... in response to Oscar -- A Legend in his own mind... n/t, posted by MarkInTx on Jan 9, 2003

Thinking with your small head that actually doesn't have a mind is the problem Mark.  That thing on your shoulders, that is the one you should be using..  ;-)

... in response to Nah, just one-, posted by Oscar on Jan 9, 2003

n/t

... in response to Last post, right on cue LOL  n/t, posted by KenC on Jan 9, 2003

Oscar,
I posted this above your post so you can savor the victory.
Do yourself a favor and look up "predictable" in the dictionary.  And then "shallow". (Not intellectually profound)  LOL
KenC

... in response to you WIN again!, posted by KenC on Jan 9, 2003

I posted this post so I could read your post about my post but not before your other post so I then posted my post but your post was already posted so I posted a different post so that your post wouldn't be confused with my post.  

Take a pill Ken. ;-)

... in response to Last post, right on cue LOL  n/t, posted by KenC on Jan 9, 2003

.

... in response to Yoe?, posted by KenC on Jan 8, 2003

Maybe so.

LOL

- Dan

... in response to Satan?!? I Never Thought of Him as Satan..., posted by Dan on Jan 8, 2003

Dan,
I was just wondering how Yoe became Oscar's talking head.
KenC

... in response to Not necessarily evil, posted by KenC on Jan 9, 2003

Oscar's?

I think you got it all wrong. Oscar is not the ventriloquist. He's the dummy. Look for someone else's lips to be moving whenever Oscar (or, apparently yoe) is "talking"...

... in response to Huh?, posted by MarkInTx on Jan 9, 2003

Mark,
It seems weird that Yoe is trying to unseat Oscar for the #1 super fan title.  How on earth did Yoe get his post in before Oscar?
KenC

... in response to Re: Huh?, posted by KenC on Jan 9, 2003

Yes... it is a puzzle...

... in response to Re: Huh?, posted by KenC on Jan 9, 2003

Yeah, seems you are attracting some negative press huh Ken?  Not usually like you.

But, have a good day.

... in response to Huh?, posted by MarkInTx on Jan 9, 2003

Dummy, yeah, what were we thinking not taking Markie seriously?.  The man who married in a week for a tax deduction! LOL!  Oh Lawd, I just don't know, what are you going to do with some people...

Third marriage right?  Did you marry the first one in one day and the second in three?  Well, at least you're up to a week now. I guess that's progress..  LOL! ;-)

Aw shucks, no Jack or Yoe around either...

... in response to Re: Huh?, posted by Oscar on Jan 9, 2003

Oscar, don't waste your time responding to certain individuals. It's senseless.

Many contributors on this board know whose talking out there ass and there is no sense in you trying to reason with them.

Be proud of what you did and how you did it and don't lower yourself. As I tried to tell you and KenC last night, you two are professionals, leave the petty stuff behind and leave the dirty work to guys like me who can go toe to toe with any ass-hole. Yea, I know, it takes one to know one.

... in response to (*/*), posted by Jack on Jan 9, 2003

I guess maybe we all like to indulge in a little "senseless" from time to time.. (some more than others)..

But you are correct, it is kinda petty and I think Ken should stop immediately.  LOL! JUST KIDDING!  We should all take a breather! ;-)

... in response to Re: Huh?, posted by Oscar on Jan 9, 2003

Well, actually, I married the first one after a couple  years of dating. We were married for nine years, almost all of them miserable.

Just goes to show that knowing someone first is no guarantee.

And, say what you want about how "quickly" I married. But I didn't bring Victoria over here because I wasn't sure.

You need 90 MORE days to make up your mind?

Or, are you just waiting so LP thinks you're a smart guy?

Makes no difference to me.

All I know is that I am enjoying married life tremendously, my wife is amazing, AND I get a tax break -- which is more money for us to spend on other things.

You want to hold off just so you can impress some guys you've never met... feel free...

... in response to Re: Re: Huh?, posted by MarkInTx on Jan 9, 2003

I don't make this post to be unkind, just real.

No Mark, your dating for 2 years and then having 9 miserable years of dating has nothing to do with other than having chosen badly.  To suggest that you did not see any warning signs at all over 2 years together is just not possible.  So the problem lay not in being "fooled" but in your willingness to ignore warning signs and possibly being co-dependent as well.  Your criteria and process of choosing were wrong.  And these things are often a pattern, patterns which are often quite difficult to break.

So because of that experience, you think that by marrying a woman you have had at best, a few weeks face to face with is better??  No.  EITHER way can work IF you have the right head screwed on, if your criteria and process for choosing a companion are solid and not skewed, by any number of things.  If your process is still wrong, it won't matter if you know her for 2 days or 5 years.

Do I need 90 more days?  YOU BET I DO!  Have I seen even one warning sign to give me pause?  No, not one, with either her or her son.  I have never been with a woman as kind, loving, patient, selfless and sincere.  But I feel that for a man not to give it at least 60 of the 90 days after such little face to face contact and a protracted long distance relationship, it would be ridiculously unwise and I cannot imagine a man on this board feeling otherwise.

I also think that in all honesty, it is rather cruel to expect a woman who has just left her entire life, family and friends coming to a completely alien culture, to rush to get married in a week!  How much better for her to have some time to adjust to new surroundings, people and new way of life.  To be able to have some time to really feel comfortable and not rushed to have a nice experience.  Geez, after a week, they can still be suffering some from jet lag!

So do I feel it was unwise to marry after a week for a tax break?  Yes, most definitely.

... in response to Reality Mark-, posted by Oscar on Jan 9, 2003

What do I care...?

Wait 89 days. Hell...send her back and find some young, impressionable Asian chick like your new mentor.

It doesn't matter to me...

Also feel free -- without knowing a single solitary thing about me, my decision process, my past divorce, or anything else -- to continue to tell me that I have made a terrible mistake.

Doesn't bother me in the least.

And besides, it gives Ken and Dan a break when you im your squirt gun at me... and Ken said he had work to do...

... in response to Do whatever you want, posted by MarkInTx on Jan 9, 2003

No Mark, I was honest and more than appropriate in everything that I said in that post.  I didn't say you made a "terrible mistake", I said you were not "wise" in your decision making process of rationalizing marrying within a week of her getting here.  Nor do I feel it is kind to a woman to expect her to marry within a week.

Take offence if you wish, but there was nothing offensive in my post, just a small dose of reality that you obviously don't like facing.

Reality..  Try it, you might like it.  ;-)

... in response to Do whatever you want, posted by MarkInTx on Jan 9, 2003

[This message has been edited by LP]

....impressionable Asian chick (who is older than our dear Vika) is a Stanford educated microbiologist. Unlike some other folks I personally know, not as easy to bed and incapable of telling a lie. Trust me, in the future you'll be dearly wishing you'd thrown one back also.

If she has twice the balls you do (that wouldn't take much), have her come on here and publicly deny it. She won't do it and you're to chickensheet to ask why. Maybe because she knows I'll blow her little charade outta the water. lol...go ahead, make my day.

... in response to That young...., posted by LP on Jan 9, 2003

Being in Denial can be a very powerful thing, especially if it is directed by the wrong head...  ;-)

... in response to You're wasting your breath LP-, posted by Oscar on Jan 9, 2003

...I'd just as soon waste it. Lord knows how long I've bitten down and kept quiet in an effort to do the right thing. But lately he's making me forget what a gentleman I really am.