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Lori

I  am  happy to  hear that  things  are  proceding  fairly well for  you  and  Thai  during  this  first period  of  adjustment.  

I was  kind of curious as to  how  your  daughters  are  reacting  to  him  and  how  he  is  towards them likewise.  American  kids  are  hard  enough  to  understand  without  any cultural barriers  thrown into  the mix.  Only  one  of  your  daughters  went  with  you  on your  visit to  vietnam  right?  how  is  the  other  one  reactiong.  I  am  just  wondering  out loud  I  guess.

Windmill Boy

... in response to Lori    how  about  your  kids?, posted by Windmill Boy on Mar 17, 2002

I do have 2 daughters--4 and 14.
I am really suprised at my 4 year old. It's like she fell in love or something. We went to a restraunt the other night and she put her chin in her hands and simply sat there and "gazed" at Thai. Every morning before she wakes up, she has to go to our room and make sure he is still there. And when he wakes up, she follows him around the house singing, "I'm following you, I'm following you". She has also made up a song about him that she likes to sing in the car. It goes like this, "THAI THAI THAI THAI THAI THAI"

As far as my oldest goes, she thinks she has found her savior. Thai is really big on school and studying. He says that studying should go before housework. Which is true to a point. But all of a sudden, my daughter thinks she  has to study 24-7. She is an "A-B" student who rarely EVER studies. I did take her aside and tell her it was not fair to me or to Thai that she was trying to play this game of hers. I did see a bit of jealousy with her yesterday when I went to buy Thai some gloves. He picked out a Nike pair that were $20.00. She said I would never buy her a pair for $20.00. And I told her that I would buy myself and Thai  a pair because I had my old ones for 3 years and knew I would'nt lose such an expensive pair. But how many gloves had she lost over the past 3 years? About 20. At about $5.00 a pair that is way more than I bought for Thai. *smile* I won that one.
I know there is going to be a bit of jealousy with my girls at times. But my oldest has told me herself, that she thinks she is very lucky because she can tell me almost anything.
Communication is very important on all sides. Right now everything is peachy with my girls. But there will be bumps in the road, I know. But I won't dwell on those till I get to them.
-Lori

... in response to My Kids and the King, posted by Lori on Mar 17, 2002

Lori

I  loved  the  zinger  that  you gave  your  daughter  basically  saying  we  will  talk  again  when  you  don't  lose  your  gloves ha ha ha.

I  could  relate  because  I  just  lost  another  pair  of  scissors at  work  again last  night  and  I  was  irate.  Actually  I left them  upstair  with the  bags  of  chocolate for  piping  on  plates  and  one  of  the  cooks  kiefed them  from me  but still left the  bags  of  chocolate. In  a  fit  of  rage  I  stole  their  good rolling  pin  for  bread  crumbs  and  switched it  with  our  defective  rolling  pin  that  looked the  same  --- until  they  use  it and  the  handles  come  off  ha ha ha the  good  one  was  probably  ours  to  begin  with ---  when  the  cooks  come  down  into  the  bakery  you  always  have  to  keep  an  eye  on  them.

But  man  you  gotta  love  those  dollar  stores  for  replacing  scissors  this  will  the  3rd  pair  I  buy  in  about  3  months.

Eric Scissorhands

or   that  windmill  boy

... in response to My Kids and the King, posted by Lori on Mar 17, 2002

Hi Lori,

It's great to hear that your daughters like Thai. Marife asked me yesterday how they were doing. I was wondering myself. Shortly after my wife arrived, my older son (16) said to me, "I guess my curfew and everything else will change now." I told him no and asked why he thought so. He believed that I was going to become some sort of dictatorial super-dad in order to impress Marife. I had been a been a single father, raising them alone for 6 years. Even though Marife mostly spent the first few days sleeping, my younger son (11) said, "Things are different now, kinda weird." Within a week, He said, "Things are different, but I like it much better!" My wife loves them also, but is still adjusting to the cultural differences of American children. There is much more dialog and joking between myself and my children, than occurs in the Philippines.

Dave H.

... in response to My Kids and the King, posted by Lori on Mar 17, 2002

Sounds like things will work out nicely. Men and little girls have an easier time adjusting to each other, I think. I sure fell i love with my stepdaughter in an instant. She was 8 when we met, 10 when her mother and I married.

-- Jeff S.

... in response to My Kids and the King, posted by Lori on Mar 17, 2002

Sounds like heaven for the most part.  *s*

Lori,  I have a question.  What asian trait or practice have you found a bit hard in adjusting to?  

I was laughing about both your adjustment to the "cold" and I think you lost out on that one and Thai got all the advantages. *grin*  Imagine, you (!) in a state of dress (or near-undress....*s*) which is more than every man's fantasy at night and in bed.....hehehe.

... in response to Re: My Kids and the King, posted by may10 on Mar 17, 2002

I don't know if this is an asian thing or just a Thai thing. But the most frustrating thing for me would have to be the fact that him and his family do not like to BOTHER people. I believe even if they were dying of thirst, they would not bother you for a drink of water.

Congrats May!!! I am SOOOOOOOO happy for you!!

... in response to I say tomato, you say tomoto, posted by Lori on Mar 17, 2002

aren't we all blessed?  *s*

... in response to I say tomato, you say tomoto, posted by Lori on Mar 17, 2002

It's also a Boston thing.  My late step-grandmother , who was reared in Boston in the early 20th. Century, used to pronounce "tomato" the same way.

- Kevin

... in response to Re: My Kids and the King, posted by may10 on Mar 17, 2002


. . . and it's still a bit frustrating. I'm not sure if it's an Asian - American thing or just a man - woman thing. It's my wife's tendency to beat around the bush and not come out with what she wants to say, directly. She also has the tendency to assume I'm beating around the bush when I say something. For instance in response to her qustion, "How about pasta for dinner," I might respond, "No, I don't fell like having pasta today, let's barbeque some chicken." This will result in her assuming I hate the way she makes pasta so, to please me, she'll quit making it. A couple weeks later, whan I suggest we have pasta, she'll look at me with a surprised expression, and a comment like, "I thought you hated my pasta." I rarely remember where she got that idea.

Remember ladies, we American men are pretty simple critters, don't expect us to take subtle hints, we just don't get it. If you want to stop for a bathroom break while driving in the car, the only thing that seems to work is, "Please stop because I have to use the bathroom." Other subtle, or not so subtle hints will usually elicit a somewhat confused look on your husband's face. And when we say, "I like the blue dress." It means we like the blue dress, not that the brown dress makes you look fat, or that your taste in clothes is bad.

Jeff S.

... in response to I can sure tell you what was toughest fo..., posted by Jeff S on Mar 17, 2002

If I may butt in I guess we have to learn and understand that guys are different from women. You mean what you say unlike us we have to beat around the bush thinking we don't want to hurt somebody's feelings. Which made sometimes matter worst... Basically, if you may consider this is a cultural thing. At times we withold our truthful opinion until we know its safe to do so I mean we know the person very well. That's the reason we can have that thinking that you may be saying something and mean another thing.

Mary324 :)

... in response to Re: I can sure tell you what was toughes..., posted by aedude40 on Mar 21, 2002

I'm pretty sure my wife feels she knows me well enough to not withhold her opinion (at least I hope so) and I know her well enough to know that her only ulterior motive is to make me happy. It's just sometimes frustrating playing the guessing game. As I mentioned, I'm not sure if it's a man/woman thing or an Asian/American thing but I suspect it's a little of both.

-- Jeff S.

... in response to I can sure tell you what was toughest fo..., posted by Jeff S on Mar 17, 2002

I've dealt with this level of confusion for more than 20 years, and even tonight when my ex was here, she was wondering if I was ok, after I gave her all the cash in my pocket... (which wasn't much).  Amazing.  15 years ago, this was a no brainer, and she'd disappear in seconds with it, today, give her money, and she's wondering what's wrong with me.  go figure. lol!

... in response to I can sure tell you what was toughest fo..., posted by Jeff S on Mar 17, 2002

well, after being around you guys for a year now (this month),  the first thing I have learnt is to be direct.  *s*
So,  the very first personal thing I asked Barry was how many women was there in consideration.  *grin*

... in response to Re: I can sure tell you what was toughes..., posted by may10 on Mar 17, 2002

You're kidding me right May?
OK, now that I went through all of this page of the thread, and read between all of the lines...

(sorry, but you were on my own list -alright, everybody fess up now, since she made Barry fess up right?- a while back after seeing your pretty pic on jeff's site)

haha!  Barry's one lucky guy!

Best of luck to you BOTH!

WOW, ... this is great!!!

I love it.

... in response to WHO THE HECK IS BARRY?, posted by BrianN on Mar 18, 2002

thank you so much for the compliment you have bestowed on me.  *s*

I thought you were someone worth knowing, too....a very decent and kind man....that one post you wrote that i responded to showed who you were as a person.

However....lol....hhhmmm....you said i was on your LIST....YUCK!!!!....another ONE who believes in safety in numbers!!!!.....lol   That always make me retreat!!!  I believe in Karma, you know......lol

I think most of our friends here know and will remember I am kinda queer...weird.....I have this rose-colored glasses on  (and would you believe?....that has been used repeatedly here but not so much as a compliment...*grin*).

I also have four words which I have kept close to my heart since I knew love existed....TRUST..FIDELITY....FOREVER...LOVE.  

See that 2nd word there?......*grin*....that's Barry and my favorite number.....ONE.

Thank you, BrianN.  *s*

... in response to Re: WHO THE HECK IS BARRY?, posted by may10 on Mar 18, 2002

that was tongue in cheek may... the list no longer exists.  I'm a one woman man, especially in this venture, and a lot of "guys", think I'm nuts to do it this way.  But, the risks one must take, to make it right, I guess make it all worthwhile in the end.

I'm really happy for you... (and Barry's gonna have his hands FULL, with your intellect!  You're a smart lady!)

... in response to I can sure tell you what was toughest fo..., posted by Jeff S on Mar 17, 2002

I had a fiancee that was killed in an auto accident 3 weeks before we were to be married back when I was 19 y.o.  She came up in a conversation a few weeks ago and I just spent a week of tampo for it.  Strange, the late finacee doesn't mean anything to me anymore other than the fact I have caring memories, but to Honey she was like a living competitor for my affections.  I am simply amazed at the lack of discussion and the quick assumptions that occur with people of other cultures.  I'm sure we have them too but I sure hope I'm not that bad.

Bear

... in response to Re: I can sure tell you what was toughes..., posted by Bear on Mar 17, 2002

I hope you got rid of any old photos of past girl friends! If she sees those you'll be in for months of tampo!

Humabdos

... in response to Old photos, posted by Humabdos on Mar 17, 2002

I met a pinay while back on vacation (in the states) and she came and visited me (in my state) for about a week.  She wanted to see some pictures I was talking about so I directed her to the right box in the closet.  In with them were pics of an old girlfiend (a very bad relationship) and she threw a nutty.  I tossed the pics so she would feel better and a day or so later she dropped the bomb on me that she was married. She did not understand why I was angry.

Jon

... in response to Old photos, posted by Humabdos on Mar 17, 2002

I took a week off work before Thai came. One thing I did was to get rid of old photos.  Not really that I was trying to hide thing. But in my mind I was starting a new life fresh and clean. It was more for me than for him.

... in response to Re: I can sure tell you what was toughes..., posted by Bear on Mar 17, 2002

Hi Bear,

I'm sure glad my wife really doesn't tampo. If she did, she probably wouldn't talk to me for the rest of my life. Then I would end up in purgatory (being optimistic) waiting for her to pray to me out. Q:o)))

Dave H.