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Welp,

I took the plunge and advertised myself. I am now receiving friendly letters from women. I would like, if it is not too much trouble a bit of advice on a first letter. So far all of them have email addresses so I was planning on sending email. But, I am unsure of what to say in a first letter. I've checked the black lists and am prepared to start writing back tomorrow. Any advice would be appreciated.

dex

... in response to Ok, now i'm in trouble., posted by dexion on May 23, 2002

Hello Dex!

If you decide on Russian translation of your introductory letter i would be glad to help you.

I charge 2.5 cents a word, can be done the same or the next day with your prompt paypal payment.

Pluses:
1. you will establish good communication at once, she will understand you very well and there won't be any misunderstandings
2. She will realize that you care about her already because you want her to feel comfortable reading your letter
3. This will make her want to reply to you more.
4. this will make her 'open up' more replying back to you
5. you shouldn't worry about using primitive language, you can express yourself fully, don't have to be afraid that the meaning won't be conveyed right.

All this is ofcourse if she doesn't know English that well, I know some RW who receive letters in English and speand weeks translating that themselves, well that's great, they are learning and willing to do that, but i think at least at the beginning the solid communication and interest in each other should be established and later after 5 or the 10 letter both of you can  do it on your own.

I can also help you with some ideas and how to compose your letter, what she expects, how to make an impression....

And if your ladies have email and know English then it is just excellent, you don't depend on anybody. :-)

Anastassia

Notarized and Certified Russian/English Translations
Moscow Diploma with Honors; Cambridge
http://www.translation.wasem.net

... in response to Ok, now i'm in trouble., posted by dexion on May 23, 2002

Dex,
Sit down and compose a very good opening letter and send it to all that you are interested in.  The letter should cover the basics about yourself without much emphasis on the financial side of things.  We are a bit conditioned by AW to lead with our house, car and income, which is not what any GOOD RW wants to hear.  Speak to them about how you like to spend your time and what your dreams and hopes are, including what you look for in a future wife.  If you are sincere in wanting to meet the woman of your dreams, let them know that too.  Remember that 90% of the guys that contact RW NEVER go to Russia.  You have to distinguish yourself from that group (assuming that you ARE serious).  The hard part is to be able to do some self analysis of yourself and knowing what it is you really want.  Don't get too deep on the first letter and keep it to a page and a half.  If they are interested, you will have plenty of future corresspondence to get into the details.  Best of luck.
KenC

... in response to Ok, now i'm in trouble., posted by dexion on May 23, 2002

Sorry to be a party pooper here, but this approach is going to get you contacts from all over the FSU.  Then it will be impossible to plan a trip in which you would be able to see several of the ladies because the distances will be so great between cities that you would spend most of your time in transit.  I think it would be better to specify that you only want to hear from ladies in X city.  Or cities X and Y where they are reasonably close.

JR

... in response to Wet Blanket, posted by juio99 on May 24, 2002


I think it is a good approach when you are getting started.

WHy limit yourself at the outset?

One or two will naturally become "clear winners" and then you can plan your trip around seeing that one or two lady, and then do a concentrated campaign in that region to line up others to see.

But, at the outset... why limit yourself to Odessa or Moscow... or anywhere?

He's still new. I think that every letter he writes now is good. It's all education at this point...

... in response to Actually, posted by MarkInTx on May 24, 2002

and writes and writes and writes, man my hand is getting tired.
dex

... in response to Wet Blanket, posted by juio99 on May 24, 2002

i am also taking that approch. I have contaced a Kherson rose. They are only in one city. As for travel, if I need to go several times, so be it. I like to see far away lands. Its only money.
dex

... in response to Wet Blanket, posted by juio99 on May 24, 2002

and you are correct JR. I suspect this guy will be getting replies from all over with over 65% being not so sincere ladies.

Hopefully if he can find one or two real ladies that he has interest in from the same city or region, he will then concentrate on that area.

When you bring in ladies from all over you generally have to commit two days minimum to seeing this lady and that can really effect the number of ladies you can see in a two week time period.

... in response to select regions, posted by Jack on May 24, 2002

I suppose every way has a good and a bad. I hoped to weed out the ones I shouldn't focus on via email, post and especially phone calls. I don't plan to go visit 25 women. I was hoping to have 2-4 um, finalists to meet. This takes time, time I have. I will do this right. But, to start I need to have a large pool to drain first. (IMHO)
dex

... in response to Re: select regions, posted by dexion on May 24, 2002

Yes it seems there are always positive and negative aspects no matter which method, or methods, a fella might use. You seem to have a game plan already set and as such appears I won't be able to offer you much help. Maybe you should consider writing this new Belarus Bride Agency?

... in response to Ok, now i'm in trouble., posted by dexion on May 23, 2002

You should expect to recieve letters from some women associated with some unethical agencies, after a couple letters,  "Please you to pay for correspondence for your lady...economics here not so good etc etc".  Some women could be non-existent.  Well,  its your money.  Be just a little skeptical.  And depending on the site...maybe some real and genuine womenI dunno.  Need more data.

... in response to Firstly,  Where did you post it?, posted by tim360z on May 24, 2002

At the moment I have recieved quite a few (ugg its bordering on too many) replies. They all have sent pictures and all have email addresses so far. There is no mention of money in any of them (yet anyway.)
dex

... in response to Re: Firstly,  Where did you post it?, posted by dexion on May 24, 2002

Dex,

If you want the guys on the board to help you... you kinda have to help us...

Three of us have asked you where you posted your personal ad... and you have not answered any of us.

Any reason why?

... in response to Again, I ask, posted by MarkInTx on May 24, 2002

I guess we don't deserve an answer to your question, a bit strange don't you think?

... in response to Re: Firstly,  Where did you post it?, posted by dexion on May 24, 2002

You are doing quite well if all the ladies who have written you have sent you there photos.

I do something very similiar to what you have done for a lot of clients. Without fail almost 15% of the ladies who reply just don't include there photos, even though it is stressed in the ad!

... in response to Ok, now i'm in trouble., posted by dexion on May 23, 2002

If online, at which site ?  Give us a link so we can go check her out.

... in response to Ok, now i'm in trouble., posted by dexion on May 23, 2002


If they are responding to an ad... you should have plenty to say...

Didn't they tell you things about themselves? Didn't they ask questions?

I find that asking direct questions is always better than general ones.

In other words: "tell me about yourself" is a horrbile question.

"What city do you live in" is much better. Also, it is good to ask about family (does she live with parents... on her own... etc...)

ALWAYS ask at least three direct questions in your first few emails. If you never get an answer to your direct questions, then chances are you're not dealing with a sincere lady.

Tell her about yourself. Opinions vary... but I think it is OK to have a pretty "canned" first response letter that tells her about what you do for a living, your family, and your goals...

If she asked questions, by all means, make sure you answer them directly!

Personally, I wouldn't get into the heavy relationship kind of questions for a few letters, but when you do, there was a good post of 50 suggested topics of discussion that Anastasia's husband asked her. (Not all at once, I assume :-)

BTW... where did you advertise? Beware of women who responded to an internet ad. A lot of these "women" are merely agencies trolling for new blood...

... in response to This is trouble?, posted by MarkInTx on May 24, 2002

Welp, without exception none have asked questions. They are all what I would consider (except 1) a first letter. They are general, age weight height, fun things I do type of letters. One seems to be well thought out and its difficult to describe, but cheerful comes to mind, as if the personality of the woman shined thru the words on the paper. I really want to respond to this one, and want to make a good impression.
dex
One more thing, a few have made references to liking to travel. I read somewhere that I should stay away from people who say that, but the reason wasn't apparent to me. Anyone have any thoughts on that?

I also need a paragraph translated:
"I understand that there are no people without lack,
but I think that is impossible to let people who is
lye, rude, scoundrel."

I am puzzled by that, I tried to worry out a meening but failed..anyone...beuler...bueler.. She may have used a translating program for that and it butchered up the sentiment. Only thing I can figure is ,: "i know people have faults, just don't have big ones?"

new at this.
dex

... in response to Re: This is trouble?, posted by dexion on May 24, 2002

re: "I also need a paragraph translated:
"I understand that there are no people without lack,
but I think that is impossible to let people who is
lye, rude, scoundrel."

I think she means that, while all people have redeeming qualities, she can't deal with liars, scoundrels, and those that are rude...

... in response to Re: This is trouble?, posted by dexion on May 24, 2002

I also need a paragraph translated:
"I understand that there are no people without lack,
but I think that is impossible to let people who is
lye, rude, scoundrel."

I am puzzled by that, I tried to worry out a meening but failed..anyone...beuler...bueler.. She may have used a translating program for that and it butchered up the sentiment. Only thing I can figure is ,: "i know people have faults, just don't have big ones?"

- - - - - - - -
My interpretation:

I realize that everyone has problems, but it is impossible for me to like (love) someone who is a liar, rude, or a scoundrel.

Just remember, no matter how chopped up their English is, it is still better that your Russian.

Actually some ladies like a scoundrel, depending on their definition.  One lady calls me a hooligan, and she loves me for being such.

JR

... in response to Possible meaning, posted by juio99 on May 24, 2002

Oh, that could be it. I wasn't complaining about her english, I am impressed by it actually I don't know ,uch russian (learning) and she can comunicate in english its amazing to me.
dex
tks

... in response to This is trouble?, posted by MarkInTx on May 24, 2002

Any tell tales that point to agencies trolling?

Ive read the 50 questions, they will get used over time...

dex

... in response to Re: This is trouble?, posted by dexion on May 24, 2002


The agency scammers are usually not very good. They go for a lot of little scams instead of the few big ones. I guess they feel there are enough suckers out there that they can always find a new one... no sense in being subtle -- that takes too long.

The usual progression goes something like this (others, feel free to chime in):

1. She will not answer any of your questions directly
2. She begins using terms of endearment VERY soon
3. She may send you a picture wherein she is VERY scantily clad within a couple of letters.
4. ALL of her photos look professionally done -- for good reason, they are... (and she seems to have an abundance of them)
5. Within two or three letters she will tell you that you letters have come to mean so much to her
6. Shortly after that, she will get "the hook:" "My Dear, I love reading your letters so much. I need them to get through my day. But, you know, internet is not cheap in _____ (fill in blank for city) and I cannot afford it. Can you help me? The ageny says if you pay them (fill in amount) I will have an account and I can write you as much as you want! (Gee... if she is so poor, I wonder how she could afford to have thirty pictures made in a modeling studio...)

Also, look for the agency writing to you to inform you of all of the wonderful gift services they offer. (This will be -- strangely -- timed around her letter telling you of her birthday, or her son/daughter's or whatever is handy at the moment.

They will hit you up for all kinds of things: Gifts, Internet, english lessons, letter translations... what have you.

Sometimes, you will even be told of a sudden illness in the family, and they need $300, or they will have to use the rent money to pay the hospital...

You get the picture.

Actually, I think the scam thing is not as bad as most people fear. Unless you are really gullible, most of these scams can be seen coming a mile away.

Now, of course, there are guys on here who will tell you that paying for a woman's internet service is somewhat expected. As well as paying for all translations, etc.

I have seen many a guy on here chide the other men and tell them that paying internet fees is a pittance, and any reasonable gentleman should do it. But... unless I missed it... I have YET to see ONE MAN who paid for a lady's internet service (when she asked him to) and they end up married.

Yes, some have paid for their fiance's internet, or a woman that they have met... but I am talking about a situation where the woman asked -- early on -- for the guy to pay, and he did. I am not aware of one of those that worked out.

So... follow their advice if you want to...

But, personally, I think that I'll follow the advice of the Russian (and Ukrainian) women who have posted on here, and I'm pretty sure that every one of them has said: Never pay for internet services, English lessons, or translation servies. In fact, I think all of them have gone on to say: if the woman needs a translator, move on...

Anyway... I got off on a tangent... the point is, don't spend all of your time worrying about an agency or a woman scamming you. You'll prpbably know pretty quickly.

If you just keep your eye on the ball, you probably will never be hit by it...

... in response to Oh... You'll know, posted by MarkInTx on May 24, 2002

That is an excellent post MarkInTx. Good knowledge for new
folks to remember. I'd be leary of any lady asking for money
for anything. They don't have much, but the good ones are just
like any other person with pride. They won't ask for money
period. Others many have more experience at this than me, but
until I meet a lady and make a decision on the way things are
going; I'll keep my wallet shut and have kept it shut, except
for gifts in the Holiday's.

Nice to see a list that has more folks helping than giving false
advice, whining and etc.

Cheers,
Bruce

... in response to Oh... You'll know, posted by MarkInTx on May 24, 2002

That is great. More data there than I could research in a week.
I have read the blacklist posts, seems they follow a standard pattern. I like to learn from other people its fun :)
dex

... in response to Ok, now i'm in trouble., posted by dexion on May 23, 2002

Dex,

1.  Just curious... where did you advertise yourself?
2.  I think that before this is over YOU will have
   advice for US!...

... in response to Ok, now i'm in trouble., posted by dexion on May 23, 2002

Where did you advertise yourself?

... in response to Re: Ok, now i'm in trouble., posted by Richard on May 23, 2002

I used one of those advertise yourself thingy. Pay em a small fee and  they put me on the web and sent out my profile to 600+ women in the age group i asked for via email they apparantly subscribe, and adds in papers. I don't know if I should post links here....
dex

... in response to Re: Re: Ok, now i'm in trouble., posted by dexion on May 24, 2002

nt

... in response to Please post the links nt, posted by Richard on May 24, 2002

richard,
I can't seem to find the origional url for the service.I have looked at a zillion places and they are all starting to blend together. Ill keep looking. If you like I can post the email addy of the guy that handles everything.
dex
Basicaly it works like this u get a free profile on the web, and your profile gets sent to women in the age range who subscribe to his email service. In my case it went to 676 women. Plus I believe there was mention of newspaper adds. The price was 36 usd. Here is his email:
andrewk@parma.ru

... in response to Re: Please post the links nt, posted by dexion on May 24, 2002

nt