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GoodWife / Planet-Love Archives => Threads started in 2002 => Topic started by: Bear on February 16, 2002, 05:00:00 AM



Title: I can't believe this really has happened!!!
Post by: Bear on February 16, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
I was told I had a meetimg with my immediate supervisor about my new job.  I already new they were pleased with my work and were making lots of comments about how glad they were I came to work for them because my skills were really needed and help them fill a major need.  I have only been with them for 11 weeks and I have been working without supervision since the 2nd week (it usually takes 6-8 months in my field).  I racked my brain on why I was meeting with the boss - I thought maybe more training - but my spirit felt very uneasy and my spirit takes good care of me so I listen to its warnings.

I had to miss the 1st meeting beause Honey got sick.  She has been complaining about nausea and dizziness and occasionaly wanting to throw-up but then 15 minutes later she says she feels fine (no she isn't pregnant).  I finally after near two weeks of that decided she needed to see a doctor.  

Missing the meeting really concerned me because I have had to take off quite a few days for Honey (illiness, getting a TIN, etc.) but I knew I was doing a good job and moving ahead very rapidly.  Finally, yesterday morning we were able to meet.  My immediate supervisor brought me into his bosses office for the meeting were he joined us (wow - I really screwed up I thought).

"We have had a few complains about your political-social attitude"..., it started.  

Huh!?

Someone was complaining that they didn't like it that I was happily married to a Filipina 26 years younger than me!!!

Well, I sat and listened to their complaint and basically told them it was none of their business, were they immediately started telling me that they were not mad and I was not in trouble but I should keep quiet about it.

I have applied for a few other positions with other companies in different areas.  I don't need this.

Bear



Title: Re: I can't believe this really has happened!!!
Post by: A1A on February 17, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to I can't believe this really has happened..., posted by Bear on Feb 16, 2002

Bear,
 Are they crazy?  Do they not know that if they are in fact trying to push you out of your job because of your marriage, that is very illegal?
Would have been nice for you to tape record the meeting.  Like you said, it is none of their business personally or legally.  Good Luck.
A1A


Title: An interpretation
Post by: Eman on February 17, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to I can't believe this really has happened..., posted by Bear on Feb 16, 2002

I wasn't at that meeting, but what I'm hearing is that management is telling you you're "not in trouble" despite the fact that they "had complaints". It seems to me they are trying to smooth things over because they're dealing with a whiner. They just asked you to "keep quiet about it" which is probably a reasonable response from their standpoint, and not a bad idea in any case. I don't think it's worth changing jobs over it. Of course, the whole situation is unfortunate, but if you can find a company that's free of nuts and PC excesses then, sure, go there.


Title: Wake Up Call
Post by: Ray on February 17, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to I can't believe this really has happened..., posted by Bear on Feb 16, 2002

Well, it’s good that you are looking for other positions. Calling you into the boss’s office to officially warn you about your attitude is usually the first step in a process. Now that warning is ‘on the record’. Next time someone complains, don’t be surprised if you are terminated.

Welcome to life in today’s corporate America.

Ray



Title: Wow!
Post by: Howard on February 17, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to I can't believe this really has happened..., posted by Bear on Feb 16, 2002

B

Dude, that sucks and I feel for you!  I never encountered any negativity from anyone but my wife :c)  Then again, I choose to word things a little differently.

When asked why I looked overseas for a wife, rather than bash AW's--which I personally happen to know several very good wives of friends of mine--I just said that I wasn't finding what I was looking for here, rather than indict our society as a whole.  Don't get me wrong, I do agree with you in principle, but I think it goes deeper than "AW's don't have a clue how to be a good wife..."

I think many Americans--women AND men--have no idea how to be good spouses and have no interest in being a part of a successful relationship.  Many are selfish and have views distorted by the decline of family values in our country.  When it comes to responsibilty, we, as a society, make up convenient reasons why everything bad is someone eles fault, rather than looking in the mirror adn sometimes accepting blame that might not completely be ours to take.

For the longest time, women were treated as inferior to men.  In trying to right that wrong we have bent over backwards, rightly so, and over compensated as we, as a society, tend to do.  It's a vicious circle.

I have to say that I agree with Lori.  Many AM don't make the greatest husbands or fathers.  That cannot be disputed.  Then again, I know more good fathers being taken to the cleaners through child support to their cheating ex-wives, than I do anything else, but I understand that that's just in my peer group and see the other side far too often.

My goal, as I think yours is as well, is to break the cycle.  The only way to do that, for me personally, is to go outside the system that I loathe.  But I know, as well as anyone, that in order to say all AW's are bad wives, I'd also have to be willing to accept that all AM's are bad husbands and fathers, which I know to be untrue.

Chin up Big Brutha... you'll end up on your feet in the long run :c)

If there's anything I can do, just let me know :c)

Keep the Faith

H



Title: Re: Howard
Post by: Lori on February 17, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Wow!, posted by Howard on Feb 17, 2002

I was really just trying to be sarcasic in that remark about AMs. I really don't think the majority of them are bad fathers. I know a few who are raising their own.
I was just trying to show Bear that you can't put all American women into one catagory.
Btw--hope everything is going well for you..Lori


Title: I can
Post by: Bueller on February 17, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to I can't believe this really has happened..., posted by Bear on Feb 16, 2002

My thoughts on this:

   You say you don´t believe in stereotypes, but you do have your stereotypes about AW. You are rather opinionated, and you share your opinions at work. You´re bound to catch some flak for it.

  When your supervisor asked why you married a Filipina, your response was to make an ugly blanket statement about AW instead of raving about what a sweetheart your wife is. This means that A)you had somehow made your marriage your supervisor´s business by mentioning it in the first place (and if I´m wrong and he brought the subject up, you almost certainly have grounds for a lawsuit based on this encounter), and B) since there are no secrets in the workplace, everyone else heard about it, and your statement "creates a hostile environment".

 (One problem we´ve got in our society is defining discrimination not just by objective standards but by whether a certain behavior or choice of words makes a person "feel uncomfortable/unwelcome" or creates a "hostile environment"-- and the offense is in the eye of the beholder. But since you´re a conservative, you´re not automatically protected from a "hostile environment" yourself. So a feminist can run AM down in the workplace and get away with it unless you really push the issue, but you can´t insult AW and get away with it. Tell people you´re a conservative who likes Rush Limbaugh, and you quickly find out that people who pride themselves on being open-minded and tolerant, aren´t so open-minded and tolerant after all. I know this from my own workplace experience.)

  Here are your choices, as I see it:

1) Don´t talk about your marriage, your views on women, or your political views in the workplace. It´s no one else´s business until you make it their business. And if anyone asks why you married a Filipina, tell him or her how much you love and appreciate your wife and how happy you are with her. I´ll bet your wife would prefer you answer the question that way, too.

2) Be opinionated, and accept the consequences.

3) I´d love to see the male valedictorian of a prestigious high school with a 1600 GPA sue his way into Wellesley, and I´d love to see a good employee who is discriminated against for his marriage to a young foreign woman sue and win for having to endure a "hostile environment" for his "marital orientation ;-)". It´s probably too late at this job, but next time don´t give them anything to hang you with. Instead, let them initiate the harrassment-- then document everything and sue.

  Teo




Title: Re: I can
Post by: The Mog returns on February 17, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to I can, posted by Bueller on Feb 17, 2002

Its easy to second guess and say "be careful what you say in the future at your job Bear", but in practice it aint so easy Buddy.
People are two faced. (there, for all  the whiners that think I may be stereotyping, I just included everyone in the world ina blanket statement so Im not stereotyping), people are jealous, people have hidden agendas, people have lived in little sheltered suburban lives and think anything outside of THEIR norm is a bad, bad thing.
None of us know the circumstances that led Bears boss to have "a little chat" with him. But being a manager myself I know that his Boss was probably only covering his rump. Think of him as a glorified babysitter, just trying to keep the peace and maintain a his nice little plain vanilla working conditions and here comes Bear. what he said or didnt say is of little importance. The person (or people) that complained to "The Boss" may not be as outspoken as Bear was, yet they are none the less dangerous and opinionated. Im afraid Bear was simply an "easy mark" for these whiners, him being a new employee and for all we know maybe it had nothing to do with what Bear said. Maybe this lady had been living a long frustrated life and seeing a proud and happy man who happened to be married to a young attractive Filipina simply chapped her hide. Regardless of her (or his) intentions, a manager is then put in a position to either take action or ignore the situation. Ignore the situation and risk future complaints and also risk  accusations of  ignoring the complaint and therby alienating who by the sound of it could have been an established and powerful subordinate. (powerful in "survivor tv show" sense of the word). These people have the power to single handedly drag down morale and productivity if they so desire. Bear, I dont think personally your manager cares about it at all , but he is doing what he has too. My best advice is let a word to wise be sufficient  if this is the kind of people you want to work with every day, or keep sending out those resumes and looking elsewhere for work. But as Ray said, its the same all over, Corporate America for all its sanctimonious Politically Correct BS, merely puts a little smiley face on the facts, and the facts are racism, discrimination, hatred and envy all all still alive and well and thriving in the workplace. You just have to play the game and rise above it.


Title: Re: Re: I can
Post by: stefang on February 17, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: I can, posted by The Mog returns on Feb 17, 2002

You really have to be careful what you say near any women on a jobsite. I had a coworker who was speaking to a woman manager and she was flirting with him. He said something that she felt inappropiate and reported him. There were 4 other guys there and they said she actually started it. His hide was saved because of the union. I have had women flirt with me before even get that occasional slap on the behind but if you try it looooooooooooooooooooooook out. AW seem to be built out of glass these days, very fragile.


Title: Re: Re: Re: I can
Post by: The Mog returns on February 18, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: I can, posted by stefang on Feb 17, 2002

Not only AW's . I have a small Guatemalan woman that works for me and she baits in new guys by being really friendly with them, then when they feel comfortable with her and start injecting more suggestive comments into their conversations she will do an about face and snake on them. I had to can a couple guys because of her complaints. She also wears low cut shirts then complains that guys are staring at her breasts. However I have tipped off our HR manager of my obsevations in case this ever happened in the future. The workplace has gotten to be a very dangerous place these days. One has to keep aware and neutral and careful of what you say to anyone.


Title: Ironically,
Post by: kevin on February 17, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to I can, posted by Bueller on Feb 17, 2002


gays are more protected in the workplace.  Although there are know federal laws protecting gay rights, certain states have laws spelling out such rights.  In Rhode Island, in addition to provisions against discrimination based on race, religion, ethnicity, age (limited), handicap, disability, and SEX, SEXUAL ORIENTATION is added to the list.

Now it sure sounds like a very twisted world if somebody is going to suffer discrimination in the workplace all because of whom he chose for, and the age difference with, a heterosexual MARRIAGE (emphasis on marriage, not DOMESTIC (live-in)) partner.

This reminds me of the story somebody was telling me about the guy who was sentenced to 7 years in prison for picking daisies along a public highway.  His point was that something was really wrong with our society if a man could get a harsh prison sentence for picking flowers, yet there at the same time there are mob murderers on the run because of the defense they could buy.

- Kevin



Title: Are you serious ...
Post by: yc on February 16, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to I can't believe this really has happened..., posted by Bear on Feb 16, 2002

I do not know what to say.  I have heard about this things.  I even know
people(several ones at that) that have expressed their opposition to
interracial marriages.  What surprises me the most is that they(your
employers) were blatant enough to pull you into a meeting to discuss
your marriage to an asian.

As to the attitude that you are receiving I am not surprise the least
bit.  I see it everyday among those I work with... especially those that
hold a very liberal view.  A female co-worker of mine is very critical of
my manager because he married a latina.  The irony in this situation, is
that she(an African-American female) was living with, engaged to, became
pregnant by and had the child of a Caucasian man.  Yet she opposes the
marriage of my manager.  She states that the reason he married this
latina is because he can control her easily.  It is a very contrary
belief system these liberals have.  

Bear, somehow I think this may be the reason why you receiving the type
of reaction you are getting.  In addition when you made the comment,
"that AW do not know how to make good wives" did not help the situation.  
I am not saying or implying that you are that way(controlling or
domineering).  When dealing with very liberal people or those that share
a feminist view, every word that you say is going to be misconstrued or
taken out of context.  It is the cross one bears for being a
conservative.  You have to remember that this is the portrait that are
painted of any man that goes outside of his country to marry.  Dispute
the fact that I am African-American myself, before I decided to take this
route the finding a wife I knew, anticipated and expect to receive the
same reaction you are receiving.

Does your wife know about this?  How does she feel about it?



Title: Re: I can't believe this really has happened!!!
Post by: Humabdos on February 16, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to I can't believe this really has happened..., posted by Bear on Feb 16, 2002

What did you expect Bear?  Anyone can marry a "young girl" in the Philippines! Why bragg about it? Something to brag about is being married to a FILIPINA FOR TWENTY SIX YEARS Not marring someone twenty six younger that yourself. Better get use to it.

Humabdos



Title: Re: Re: I can believe this has happened!!!
Post by: Lori on February 16, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: I can't believe this really has happ..., posted by Humabdos on Feb 16, 2002

"AW's haven't a clue on how to be good wives". ---Bear.
If you go around your office and say things such as this no wonder they would want you out. Your generalizing of aw's is what got you in trouble, especially if you work with them. Open your eyes!!!  I really think you are a narrow minded person.

I think you are the type of person who braggs about alot of things, you either do or do not have.

It seems to me that you must  constantly have some type of controversy in your life where it concerns Honey, weather it be with her school, her family, and now your work.

These are my thoughts, go ahead and have a field day...you really need some help with your AW issues.
--Lori




Title: HI LORI!
Post by: Humabdos on February 17, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: I can believe this  has happened..., posted by Lori on Feb 16, 2002

When is Tie getting here? It looks like i'll be going thru this visa stuff next any helpful hints?

HUMABDOS



Title: Re: HI HUM!!
Post by: Lori on February 17, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to HI LORI!, posted by Humabdos on Feb 17, 2002

Build it and she will come!!
No, just make sure you know what you need and you do everything exactly the way they want it.
Also, be patient, and always let her know how much you love her, especially while you are waiting.
I am really happy for you, Dude!! And good luck with your business venture over there!! Thai's brother has his own business---a plasic factory.. I think we will be investing in it in the future. His brother wants us to build a house next to the factory . I don't know, we'll see---I really don't understand the communist way of things, so I don't know how much the government takes. I know when I retire it is going to be parially or fully in Vietnam. I loved it there. Anyways---now I'm babbling.
Hey did you get the "letter of intent" to marry from her while you were over there? I forgot to do it and it set me back a few weeks
-god luck--Lori


Title: Well...
Post by: Bear on February 16, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: I can believe this  has happened..., posted by Lori on Feb 16, 2002

Lori, no disrespect, but since most AW's do not want to be wives and mothers, most putting carrer before family, and thinking that AM's only want to be domineering and controlling (note you seek men overseas) I think my comment was not out of place.

Of course, this probably isn't true - just the side I see, right.

Honey does more and tries harder than any woman I've ever observed here.  The harder I try to let her know that I can help (and want to) the more she insist I don't.  I am almost afraid to ask for anything because she won't stop till I get it.  Try that with and AW.  Honestly, the harder she tries the harder I try to see she's happy (and visa versa).  Which is the way that it should be.  

No AW I have ever met felt or acted that way because they were raised that the efforts were to be the mans and they the beneficiary of it.  Just let him refuse and the laws of the land will take all he has and ever will have.  Of course, many foreign women hear of it and think they can benefit the same, ask Humbados and Kevin.

I had this discussion with my "ex" so many times only to end up with I was "being selfish, cruel and controlling" when all I wanted was to see that I was important to her (why doesn't Honey think that?).  Oh, and I was important to her - I paid the bills while she slept, ate (over 270 lbs worth), did crossword puzzles and watch soaps and talk shows.  Honey never complains about my holding her doors or her chairs and all the AW's stare in disbelief.  Oddly enough, Honey doesn't expect it either and is almost shocked I do it.

AW's haven't a clue.  But the men are the ones who allow and accept that attitude, so I am not really blaming AW's.  Welcome to the land of divorce and baby killing.  With the exception of some couples in my church I do not know a single person over 40 not divorced at least once, most twice and more.

I don't know why (cause I don't believe in stereotypes) but with Filipinas it is possible that you get what you give - but it never happened with any AW in my life.  I guess I am just a bad guy no AW could tame and a Filipina did.

Bear



Title: Re: Well...
Post by: Lori on February 17, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Well..., posted by Bear on Feb 16, 2002

Bear, I did not seek a man oversea's because AM's were domineering and controlling . I did'nt do it because I hate AM's. I did it because I think asian men are hot!! hot!!
hot!!
anyways, I don't think AM's have a clue how to be Daddys. They don't have a great tract record of sticking around and playing Daddy. How many single mothers are there in America?? How many government offices are there bogged down with trying to get dead beat fathers to at least acknowledge their kids and pay some support? And sheesh, all american men do is sit around with their butts glued to a couch, watching WWWrestling and screeming during commercials, " Where the hell is my beer!!!"
--A little narrow minded don't you think? but oh well---at least I got it off my chest. I guess I just described my Dad up there and a few other guys I know. But I really can't believe that all AM's are like that.

You know bear--- I believe you have this idea in your head that all AW are evil. They're  the bad people, they're  the reason america is the way it is today. I know I can't get inside your head to know exactly how you tick.
I do have an idea, though. You are a religous man, right? I suggest you go to your pastor and tell him about the problems you are having at work. Explain to him your views on AW's etc..etc....see what he has to say about it.
Also, you said you don't believe in stereo-types??? Give me a break!!! You don't believe in them only when it concerns pinays
---Lori



Title: Re: Re: Well...
Post by: Bear on February 17, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Well..., posted by Lori on Feb 17, 2002

You make a lot of assumptions Lori.  First I don't watch wrestling or drink beer, I find both disgusting and stupid waste of time.  I'd much rather get up and get my own treats and bring something to Honey because I really do not know what I want without perusing the frig - if I leave it to her she won't let me have things like chocolate, so I get my own.  

I also do not hate women at all.  I am very impressed with most women because they always seem to be a success at everything they attempt.  But here in America, women have been convinced that family is second or even third in importance and anything from career or to whatever is more important.  Like I said - they haven't a clue on how to be good wives because in most cases its not important to what they have been lead to believe is important.  

As for stereotypes, believing that cultures teach and expect certain things does not mean that it is part of ones character - typing them in anyway.

Other than having a casual discussion with "friends" and I now use the word very loosely, I don't discuss my opinions with people at work simply because I am too busy.  It is not inappropriate to chat with people you work with about things that are important to you but it appears I am being told that things that are important to me are repulsive to someone at my office and I should cease which I believe if a violation of my rights and unjust since similar directives are not being place on everyone.

To me family is everything and nothing will ever come even close to being before it.  I do not know if I am a good "Daddy" but I know I try.  Nothing hurts more than to watch your loved ones suffer because you failed them.

Bear



Title: Re: Re: Re: Well...
Post by: Lori on February 17, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: Well..., posted by Bear on Feb 17, 2002

I was being sarcastic about the beer and wrestling.  I was trying to show you how stereo-typing is wrong. You, my friend make alot of assumptions about American women. I for one am sick of hearing what awful human being, and awful mothers we are, and awful wives we are. You have nothing good to say about american womern. You put them in one catagory, no give-no take.
I guess this subject is not for me and you to discuss, as we will never see eye to eye on it. -Good Luck --Lori


Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: Well...
Post by: SteveB on February 17, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: Re: Well..., posted by Lori on Feb 17, 2002

Lori, did Bear say lori's a bad woman? or that she will make a bad wife?  I think you are a tad defensive of AW"S

steveb



Title: Indirectly,
Post by: Bob S. on February 18, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Well..., posted by SteveB on Feb 17, 2002

yes he did.
http://www.planet-love.com/wwwboard/asian/messages/29765.html


Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Well...
Post by: Lori on February 17, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Well..., posted by SteveB on Feb 17, 2002

You are entitled to your opinion.


Title: I agree with you Lori
Post by: panther on February 17, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Well..., posted by Lori on Feb 17, 2002

There are too many negative generalizations about american women by some on this site.  You brought a good point about the dead beat dads.  We have a high divorce rate here but the men are at fault too.


Title: There are deadbeat dads, there are mooching moms. n/t
Post by: Bueller on February 18, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to I agree with you Lori, posted by panther on Feb 17, 2002

.


Title: Narrow minded....
Post by: Nathan on February 16, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: I can believe this  has happened..., posted by Lori on Feb 16, 2002

Lori,

   Whether or not you agree with Bear's personal convictions and lifestyle, it is really not your concern
or mine what he believes. And so long as it does not
prevent him from doing his job, it should be of no consequence to his boss or fellow employees. That said, it is likely a good idea not to bash anyone at one's work place. I must say, that in my experience, I have heard a lot more man bashing feminists sounding off than the other way around, yet they would think it outrageous if they received the response that Bear did. One person's "narrow minded" ways are another person's strong religious/personal convictions, and if Bear wants to be "narrow minded" that is his option. A liberal is someone who is so broad minded that they cannot even take their own side in an argument.

2 cents at work....

Nathan



Title: Re: Narrow minded....
Post by: Lori on February 17, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Narrow minded...., posted by Nathan on Feb 16, 2002

Nathan-- ok--I know if I went to work and bashed filipino men and said they made lousey husbands--I might just get pulled into the office.  Where I work, you can not make racial comments, no matter how minor they may sound.
Bear can be as narrow minded as he wants---no concern of mine. But I think he might want to get a little concerned if he wants to hold a job.
_Lori


Title: Re: Re: Narrow minded....politically correct...
Post by: Nathan on February 17, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Narrow minded...., posted by Lori on Feb 17, 2002

Lori,
 
  You are making the huge assumption that bear makes racial or anti- American women comments at work.
Why do you make that assumption when you have no indication that it is true? Certainly, any one of us might make comments here that we would never make at work- that it what the board is for. You are leaping to conclusions that Bear's employer is reasonable and Bear is not, when you have no indications either way. I'm sure there is enough narrow minded attitudes to go around.
  Bigotry is pointless- there are usually plenty of people to dislike on an individual basis.
  And one might grant that unless they know otherwise, it just MIGHT be possible that Bears employer and co-workers
are having a narrow minded reaction to his having married
an Asian women...many of the so called politically correct have outlandish stereotypes of Asian women and men who marry them that are total nonsense, yet they persist- so just who is being narrow minded? Even with your role reversed situation personally, you are very likely to get slapped repeatedly with the same type of nonsense- outlandish smears and stereotypes by people who's travel
experience is limited to the travel channel if even that.
If you have not heard this stuff yet, you will, and most people here on this board will tend to take your side of the issue and offer words of encouragement- I certainly would.

another 2 cents worth...

Nathan



Title: Re: Re: Re: Narrow minded....politically correct...
Post by: Lori on February 17, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: Narrow minded....politically cor..., posted by Nathan on Feb 17, 2002

yes, I was making an assumption about what he does and does not say about aw's at his work. I just thought if you have that much hatred for a certain race of women, it would be hatrd to keep it all inside.
I am sure I'll run into alot of racist comments about my situation. I am not in the dark about that.
If Bears emplyers pulled him into the office strictly because he has a younger fillipina wife, I would guess there would be grounds to sue. I am wondering, though, in this day and age if an emplyer is really that stupid.
I might have blabbed off the mouth about Bear and his situation. But I am tired of him putting AW's into one catagory. It's like he is telling me ,I, personally do not know how to be a good wife. He knows nothing about me. He is stereo-typing.


Title: right...
Post by: Nathan on February 18, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: Re: Narrow minded....politically..., posted by Lori on Feb 17, 2002

Lori,

   Well, I know that being lumped together with the worst
AW would get under one's skin. There are a lot of great
American women anyway- perhap not enough, but still wise to not poke our finger in the eye of every AW we see.
  For that matter, I know a good friend of my wife in the Philippines, a great girl, but I do not know a good guy I would introduce her to here.

Take care,

Nathan



Title: Re: right...Nathan
Post by: greg on February 18, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to right..., posted by Nathan on Feb 18, 2002

Try introducing Her to Howard, he's a good Guy. greg


Title: Re: Re: right...Howard ....
Post by: Nathan on February 19, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: right...Nathan, posted by greg on Feb 18, 2002

Well, you may be right...Howard should ask me...

Nathan



Title: Re: I can't believe this really has happened!!!
Post by: Jay on February 16, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to I can't believe this really has happened..., posted by Bear on Feb 16, 2002

Bear,

Your political-social attitude? The way you tell it sound's as if there is more to the story your not saying. It doesn't add up. Sounds more like you were bashing AW's or something  to me. Could this be it?

Jay



Title: Re: Re: I can't believe this really has happened!!!
Post by: Bear on February 16, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: I can't believe this really has happ..., posted by Jay on Feb 16, 2002

I think they reason they put it that way is they know I listen to Rush Limbaugh and once in a conversation to my immediate suoervisor when he asked me "Why I married a Filipina?", I told him "AW's haven't a clue on how to be good wives".  A few of the guys have met my wife and being its a small company the "Hey! He married to a younger girl!" rumors spread quickly.

Honestly, I have not discussed my "polictical-social" beliefs like I do here beause I just haven't had the time.  We are very busy.  If they had a sit down discussion with me they'd probably agree with me (I can be pretty convincing) but I believe they are just speculating the current liberal biased point-of-view.

Bear



Title: Keep quiet about it?
Post by: Jeff S on February 16, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to I can't believe this really has happened..., posted by Bear on Feb 16, 2002

What a bunch of a_holes. It's the whiners who complained that sould be keeping their mouths shut. If it gets ugly, you certainly have grounds for an unlawful termination lawsuit. I'd play the race card BIG time if it came to that. In this day and age, how do you think a jury will react to the question, "Tell me, Mr. Bear, you were termniated because the word got out that you were marrried to an Asian woman?" I'd start keeping a diary of events. Hang in there big guy.

-- Jeff S.



Title: Re: I can't believe this really has happened!!!
Post by: The Mog returns on February 16, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to I can't believe this really has happened..., posted by Bear on Feb 16, 2002

Bear, I sometimes get smart little remarks from my boss and co-workers too. Fact is they are all just jealous of us, because we have young beautiful women that love us, and thats why they despise us and secretly want to see us fail and get hurt. Personally I love it. It makes me stronger. And you are right, its none of their business. But misery loves company , and those stuck in hopeless miserable relationships with their lame, ugly, fat old American wives will do anything they can to sabotage our lives and careers. Face it and be prepared for it and ram right through it. They cant do a thing about it , but they sure will try.


Title: Re: I can't believe this really has happened!!!
Post by: Nathan on February 16, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to I can't believe this really has happened..., posted by Bear on Feb 16, 2002

Bear,

  Progressive liberals...well, get out the jackboots.
You could have asked them if they believed in "diversity".
The fact that they even considered it a topic for a meeting with you pretty well exposes them as aspiring brain police, like most liberals.
You might document any such comments or meetings if possible, and ask them to put everything in writing.

Good luck,

Nathan



Title: Re: Re: I can't believe this really has happened!!!
Post by: stefang on February 16, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: I can't believe this really has happ..., posted by Nathan on Feb 16, 2002

You better watch out they will try to document anything possible to find grounds for termination if they don't like your situation. It probably is better to try to keep your social life as secret as possible.