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Title: Do NOT do this.... Post by: Deckard on February 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM NOTE to newbies! Be exTREMELY careful when mentioning money to your lady. I was on the phone last night with my fiance for 2 hours. It was late for me, and I was very tired. And I wasn't thinking all that well. When Luda seemed to want to say something to me, but would not tell me exactly what yet, I tried to rush her into telling me. After two minutes of asking her to tell me, I became a little impatient, and I told her "Luda, please, tell me now... it is late and this is getting expensive.". Ho boy... that was the wrong thing to say! Immediately she wanted to get off the phone, telling me it was very expensive. I had to explain for the next twenty something minutes, how the only reason why money is suddenly very important to me now, is because I need to save it up so that we can be together, which is the complete truth. She already knew this, but my words apparently really stung her. And I'm sure most of you know what happens if you say something that hurts your lady, especially if she takes pride in herself and thinks she did not make a mistake in that situation! She's been upset about it, and it's taking a lot of effort on my part (obviously on hers also) to get things back to normal again. It's not the first time either, back in Simferopol we had another issue regarding money as well, and it was another obstacle to overcome. Have any of you guys had a similar experience? I'd like to hear about it... Peace, -Deckard Title: update... Post by: Deckard on February 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Do NOT do this...., posted by Deckard on Feb 1, 2002
Thanks for the replies everyone. I gained some insight. Things are returning to normal. This is not the first time that we've had a scuffle, not by any means. We have always recovered from them. We both feel so much for each other, yet we are both very sensitive. It certainly makes for powerful moments, both when positive, and when negative. She is her sweet, cute, adorable self again :). Peace, -Deckard Title: It's one of the culture differences... Post by: John F on February 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Do NOT do this...., posted by Deckard on Feb 1, 2002
I'm still running face first imto them today, and we will soon celebrate our second wedding anniversary. Shortly after getting married I was talking with a Russian woman immigrant at work. She was very concerned about our marriage. I said the standard things.... she cooks Russian Foods and on the weekend I cook American or whatever. I explained that I get her Russian literature to read, etc. My Russian coworker said it went far beyond that and she would be surprised if we were still married after five years. I now realize just what she meant. I also am smart enough to have realized it quickly and now I just explain to Irina that this is one of those times she is thinking one way and I am thinking another because of the different ways we were raised from a child. I don't think she would have understood if I had told her that when she was still in Crimea, but now that she lives here, she understands. I hate to have to tell you this, but this won't be the last. John Title: Re: It's one of the culture differences... Post by: Deckard on February 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to It's one of the culture differences..., posted by John F on Feb 1, 2002
True... one must always be vigilant :P. It's my policy to not stop until the problem is fixed, and when we're together again, to not go to sleep at night until the problem is resolved. It's good to know you're approaching 2 years, and all is well. Peace, -Deckard Title: I hate that policy Post by: BubbaGump on February 03, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: It's one of the culture differences...., posted by Deckard on Feb 2, 2002
When I was married my wife said we should never go to bed angry. That usually meant she would argue all night until I agreed. I would end up going to work very sleepy and she would sleep in. She would never give up in an argument until she won. I still hate her for that. Title: Just a normal relationship thing Post by: Paci on February 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Do NOT do this...., posted by Deckard on Feb 1, 2002
From times to times these things happends in relationships. You cut her short in a way that she was sensitive for at that evening. I wouldn't call this a "note to newbies". It's about two people adjusting to eachother. In the beginning things can sometime get a little heated, it's perfectly normal. I can relate to KenC's advice though. Be careful to say bad things. Russians are rather superstitious, they think that what you say will really happend. In some way I think they right though. If you go around and tell yourself all the time that you're broke you'll probably end up being broke (Just a side note on mindset:). And another thing... It's when you never have any arguments with your new fiancee/wife that you need to be worried. It can mean that either you don't care enough about eachother, or that she's leading you along in some scheme. Title: Re: Just a normal relationship thing Post by: Deckard on February 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Just a normal relationship thing, posted by Paci on Feb 1, 2002
Paci, Well, we're still adjusting to each other, and probably will be for a long time. But at least I think that's normal. And in her exact words: "Nobody can hurt us as much as people whom we love very much.". Peace, -Deckard Title: Olenka-club Post by: terry on February 05, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Just a normal relationship thing, posted by Deckard on Feb 2, 2002
Hope you do not mind me asking, I think I read where you used the Olenka-club to go over seas to meet a lady. coud lyou tell me about Olga and Eugene? how where they to work with. I have stqarted writing a lady that uses their service. I feel that I read where you had mentioned their name when you were over there Thank you Title: Just Curious Post by: MarkInTx on February 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Do NOT do this...., posted by Deckard on Feb 1, 2002
Did she ever tell you the other thing that led you to make the faux paux? Title: yeah... Post by: Deckard on February 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Just Curious, posted by MarkInTx on Feb 1, 2002
it was on the subject along the lines of intimacy, but it was all good. Understandable why she was shy, and if I had just been a little more patient, this never would have happened. But then we wouldn't have had this extra learning experience. These things are going to happen anyways, might as well have them now and learn more about each other sooner. If it doesn't kill us, it makes us tougher :). Later, Mark... -Deckard Title: A Line from Chess Post by: MarkInTx on February 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to yeah..., posted by Deckard on Feb 2, 2002
The (forgettable) broadway show had a line in one of the songs I love: "I keep learning things I didn't want to know!" Sounds like you guys will be fine, though... Let's face it, all women are aliens. There are always breakdowns in communications... But, oh my! when they take us to their planet... PS: Have you ever read the book: "Love Languages?" Title: Re: A Line from Chess Post by: Deckard on February 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to A Line from Chess, posted by MarkInTx on Feb 2, 2002
Hi Mark, actually, no, never even heard of the book. A good one? Yeah, we've had numerous instances of miscommunications, both because of language interpretation, and cultural differences, but also because of something more basic... I'm a guy, and she's a woman. As you said, the way out is through it... -Deckard Title: Love Languages Post by: MarkInTx on February 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: A Line from Chess, posted by Deckard on Feb 2, 2002
Yes, it's excellent. I got it in Barnes and Noble. You might also try Christian Book stores, as the author was a christian author. Bascially, the book can be summed up: There are five main Love Languages: 1) Words of Praise Everyone needs all of these to feel loved. But everyone also has a primary love language. When love is expressed in that language, they feel most loved. If they never have love expressed in their primary language, they feel unloved. This can create a problem when two people's love languages are different. For instance...suppose a man's love language is Words. But his wife's is acts of service. The man tells his wife all of the time that he loves her. But it doesn't matter to her. She's not hearng him. Meanwhile, she NEVER tells him that she loves him. But she cleans up after him, does the dishes for him. Even takes out the garbage, which was his job, but she does it because she knows he was working late and so she does it for him. After a period of time, she's thinking... he doesn't love me at all. He never lifts a finger to help me. Meanwhile, he's thinking, She hasn't said I love you to me one time without me initiating it. SHe must not love me... And it is a problem. Each of them would be astonished that the other felt unloved. But it is the ultimate miscommunication. They were speaking love to each other in foreign languages. The book has exercises to identify your love language, and ideas of how to "speak" to your spouse in their "native" tongue. It's really a good book. Very practical. Title: Re: Do NOT do this.... Post by: thesearch on February 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Do NOT do this...., posted by Deckard on Feb 1, 2002
I have not had many issues with money but I have experienced what I would describe as running into very notable emotional sensitivities that in the USA I would start to think that the woman is unstable, has hormone imbalance or whatever. At first I thought it was just a challenge that was created by the language barrier because of her beginning English skills. However, the more I hear and reflect, it seems that many of these women are just more emotionally volatile plain and simple. I did not say all just more and it is only my suspicion based upon what I have heard and experienced. In some ways, this is a pain in touche about these women but, when you look at the whole package it is easy to decide to just deal with it. However about money, this is what I have observed. They expect you to take charge. If you can afford to spend the money for an expensive dinner etc fine - if you tell them that you can not that is fine also. Just tell them how it is, but do not complain about an expense after you created it. This is where I found a problem can be created. On the other hand the exception to what I said is that they can be frugal also telling you to not spend money on something because it is too expensive. However, it is clear from the posts that I have read that these women vary greatly on this with only these being generalizations. Title: my experience Post by: Stan B on February 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Do NOT do this...., posted by thesearch on Feb 1, 2002
As you said, 'these women vary greatly' is true, people are people and women are women, no 2 exactly alike. And I feel that applies regardless of nationality. You've got to admit that AW also run the gamit from what can you do for me, to the ones that that care about your welfare and just enjoy your company, not your $. Fortuneately my wife understands the value of a buck and is rather frugal. She understands what our priorities are and only buys the things that we need. We're also buying a new place this spring and she realizes that all our extra $ is going to the downpayment & furnishings and that is our main financial focus. I also put down on paper how much I make, how much we spend and what we have left over and she understands the basics of our cost of life. She also looking forward to getting a job and contributing what she can and to start saving for the extra things that we want. Title: It is not WHAT you say, Post by: RW on February 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Do NOT do this...., posted by Deckard on Feb 1, 2002
It is HOW you say it. This situation is not about money. I don't think you should be upset. It is learning experience for both of you. There will be many similiar situations like that at the beginning of your relationship and you need to talk about them. She needs to learn not to take it personal, you need to learn to be little bit more sensitive. "You can be right or you can be happy" - that goes for BOTH sides.
Title: Re: It is not WHAT you say, Post by: Deckard on February 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to It is not WHAT you say,, posted by RW on Feb 1, 2002
RW, It definitely has been a learning experience for me, and for her. Your last paragraph hits home with me. You're right on both accounts. Thanks, RW -Deckard Title: Re: Do NOT do this.... Post by: Charles on February 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Do NOT do this...., posted by Deckard on Feb 1, 2002
Good post, Deckard. I think it brings out two things: 1) these women are accustomed to things going wrong in their lives, and will magnify anything you say, so be very careful in your communications. 2) in the financial area, I would highly recommend to anyone other than Bill Gates who is going through this process to downplay big time your financial situation, for two reasons: 1) for the really great women, I think it's a turnoff, at least that's what I have been consistently told and 2) you don't want to raise expectations and create the potential for excess spending. Most of these women are extremely careful with their money, and will appreciate your efforts to do so. Title: Definitely Post by: Deckard on February 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Do NOT do this...., posted by Charles on Feb 1, 2002
Good advice, Charles, I downplayed truthfully from the very beginning. And during the three months that we were together, she knew it for sure. I was very careful to communicate my current financial situation to her. About Bill Gates... I saw him a few years back, I think on 60 minutes, or some other news program that interviewed him. The camera crew actually followed him into a McDonald's, where he was looking up at the menu, and having a hard time picking out what to order. The young lady behind the cash register seemed totally oblivious as to who he was, and a little confused about why the camera crew was following him around. As he was slowly and thoughtfully ordering food and changing his mind too, I thought... you know.... he could just say... "I'll have you, your boss, this building, and this city block to go please.". Peace, -Deckard Title: maybe this will help Post by: KenC on February 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Do NOT do this...., posted by Deckard on Feb 1, 2002
Deckard, Lena and I never had too much of a problem regarding our communication and money. You do have to watch your vocabulary on the subject though. A flippant remark can send your RW into a tailspin unnecessarily. A comment like "I'm broke right now" can be interpreted to mean you are about to be homeless and live in a box on the street instead of just having a momentary cash flow problem. You have to understand that RW will tend to magnify ANY pessimism and minimize an optimistic outlook. When Lena and I stayed at the Marriott in Moscow, I underestimated the cost. Moscow was expensive and there is a 20%+ added value tax that I was unaware of. After living high on the hog for most of the week, I had to get some more cash from home. After I told her that we had to "cool it a little" on the money, she had no problem down shifting from $200 dinners at the hotel to much more reasonable places to eat. Once your RW comes here you will have a different problem. The value of money will be a very blurred subject for her. $200 will be no different from $2,000 or $20,000 or even $200,000. It will take her time to understand the differences. Title: point taken... Post by: Deckard on February 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to maybe this will help, posted by KenC on Feb 1, 2002
I have noticed also, that the exact words you select when speaking about something (especially when it is rather a delicate subject) can have a very profound impact (often negative). Sort of an extension of the language barrier. In my opinion, it is the more dangerous sort of language barrier because it usually strikes when both are not prepared for it. Whereas if you were having great difficulty in communicating in the first place, you would be on your toes, and be looking out for miscommunication. I ran into this 'dangerous' type of language barrier frequently with Luda, especially within the first month. And even now, it can happen, though it seems to be decreasing. Word choice is definitely critical, as you have no idea what your ladies' interpretation of a certain word is. You have little idea how she learned the word, and in what context she learned it in. And if there are two or more ways for her to interpret the word, my girl will often pick the more negative connotation of the word :P. (Another thing, I get the impression that the English taught in FSU is 'British' English. Rather different, as I discovered Luda uses a couple of words in English that I have NEVER heard spoken here, ever.) And yes, the magnification of the pessimistic views... I've noticed that at the back of my mind, but you saying it helped me to consciously file that away. I'm glad you liked the trip reports/pictures. Take care, Ken, -Deckard Title: Words and Interpretations Post by: MarkInTx on February 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to point taken..., posted by Deckard on Feb 2, 2002
You bring up a good point. You never know exactly how she's going to interpret something due to her A) still learning the language [nuance is the last part of a language learned] and B) she sees things through her cultural prism. A few years back, Gerber Baby Food tried to market their product in South Africa. They couldn't sell a bottle. They couldn't figure out why, so they hired a firm. Turms out that in South Africa, since so many of the natives can't read, it was common to place a picture of the ingredients on the can or bottle. If it had pork in it, there would be a picture of a pig. Beef would have a cow. Etc. Guess what the natives thought when they saw a picture of a BABY on the bottle??? But the point is, even those who COULD read weren't buying the stuff because it creeped them out. And, they didn't want someone who couldn't read seeing them buying it and getting the wrong impression. It's like the guy on here who pointed out that wintergreen smells like Russian Embalming fluids. If the only time russians have smelt that was when they were in a funeral home... then there's no WAY they're going to ever associate anything good with the smell. Or, buy your girl a dozen roses sometime, and see what the reaction is. I can go on and on. The point is that cultural differences never go away. Hopefully, neither does love... which is the only way of getting through it... Title: Note to all the new people... Post by: Deckard on February 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Words and Interpretations, posted by MarkInTx on Feb 2, 2002
Disclaimer: Just in case it wasn't clear, Mark is saying that you should *not* buy a dozen roses (or any even numbered amount of flowers) for your lady. Those are reserved for funerals! Mark, your second sentence is awesome :) -Deckard Title: Thanks for the Clarification Post by: MarkInTx on February 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Note to all the new people..., posted by Deckard on Feb 2, 2002
Yeah... sometimes I assume that EVERYONE knows about the even number of flowers thing... Thanks for clarifying. Second sentence awesome, eh? Hmmm... I better go back and re-read... Dunno when the last time I wrote something awesome... :-) Title: Re: Do NOT do this.... Post by: Mike on February 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Do NOT do this...., posted by Deckard on Feb 1, 2002
Guys if you really really like your girl NEVER mention even the simplest things that has to do with money or expenses, and the like! They may feel that they are in your debt, they may feel, you are greedy, they may think you will be a poor provider. OR from the very begining after meeting her casually try to explain how you are with money, how it works here, and what she can expect. Mike Title: Re: Do NOT do this.... Post by: terry on February 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Do NOT do this...., posted by Deckard on Feb 1, 2002
I find this interesting, being new, can some one tell me why this is a bad thing to tell a RW about the money end of the relationship. Next Question, i have been reading alot here the last few weeks. I am getting ready to start writing to a few RW. I go t an E-mail from Jack about helping with this. however , i do not understand All the things with Jack coming here under different names, why is this and what is going on with it. I ask this becasue i have to make a decision on who I go to fo rhelp in finding the ladies i will writ eto. Title: Re: Re: Do NOT do this.... Post by: Natalya on February 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Do NOT do this...., posted by terry on Feb 1, 2002
Being a russian wife myself I'd say that is very important you talk to your russian lady friend about money issues.If your financial situation is in good shape you have to explain her what kind of lifestyle is waiting for her and reassure her that you'll be able to support family even if first couple years your RW will not be able to work. It is important that man starts this conversation first. Russian women usually shy to ask money related questions but being russian it is very important for her to know that her future husband makes enough money to support family.And I'm not talking luxury here, just basic expences. Title: Re: Re: Re: Do NOT do this.... Post by: terry on February 04, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Do NOT do this...., posted by Natalya on Feb 2, 2002
Tank you Natalya That helps me understand this a lot better. Title: Jack is just drumming up business ... nt Post by: jj on February 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Do NOT do this...., posted by terry on Feb 1, 2002
He has a team of followers to reinforce his message... buy from Jack. And anyone that challenges him he abuses, claims they are someonelse and basicly put sh it on them. What he does not realise is that many can see through this and get tunned off from this abuse. I have seen many new participants attacked in this way... It just "un-american". Occassionally I do support some of his comments... but more often not... Oh and BarryM... well he may be Jack or he may not... but they are very close. Title: It's becoming a running joke about Jack Post by: BubbaGump on February 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Do NOT do this...., posted by terry on Feb 1, 2002
We have a few posters on this board that seem to have a feud with Jack and they like to claim that all Jack's supporters are wrong and that they must be Jack posting under all these different names. Jack has many former customers on this board and the majority are satisfied. Those guys saying they were Jack are regulars on the board that also disagree with Jack's critics. One of Jack's big critics just hates agencies in general. Title: Common Sense Post by: MarkInTx on February 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Do NOT do this...., posted by terry on Feb 1, 2002
Terry, Best advice for someone who is doing this the first time is: Listen to someone who has been there. That's what the board is all about. Taking it one step forward... first time you go over -- you DO need someone to help you. Anyone who tells you diferently is full of it. Even the guys who go over by themselves just fine now will tell you that the first time they used a service, and it was worth it. If Jack has contacted you and given you help, and it makes sense to you... what do you care about any of the rest of this? Look at everything you have read about Jack. Even the bad stuff. Has anyone ever said that he didn't deliver the services he said he would? No. What do you care if he posts under a thousand names? Even if it is true... what difference does it make to you? If he can hook you up with an interpreter, and an apartment, and advise you on how to go about meeting ladies... and he offers to do it for a price you can live with... who cares about any of the other stuff? That's true for anyone at any agency. It doesn't matter if it's Firstdream, LifeTime Partners, or even (gasp!) European Connections. If they offer services for a price you can agree with, and they devliver those services -- IT WAS A GOOD DEAL FOR YOU. Worry about saving money after you know what you're doing. I get so tired of these guys who will tell you to squeeze every nickel until it bleeds... and yet are still searching. They are "searching" for five years and never find anyone. But they are happy to tell you how to go about YOUR search. And they brag about how they "never paid a nickel for any address!" Big deal. I can never pay a nickel for anything. And I can still be single five years from now. What good is that? I remember years ago, I was installing some software on this guy's computer. And he was bragging about how he had waited two years for the price of computers to come down so he could save $3000 on his system. Impressive, huh? Problem was... I was installing an upgrade on his software, and he had told me before that he estimated that the software saved his company about $500 a month. He was shocked when I told him I thought he had made a foolish business decision. But, he said, didn't you hear? I saved $3000! I pointed out to him that in actuality, he had wasted $12,000 in two years. Even subtracting his "savings" he made a $9000 mistake. It all depends on how you look at things. With EVERYTHING associated with this search, just use common sense. Step back, and look at things. You'll do fine... Title: Re: Re: Do NOT do this.... Post by: BarryM on February 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Do NOT do this...., posted by terry on Feb 1, 2002
Jack only posts here as Jack. What happened is there is a nutball scam artist who has an ongoing smear campaign against Jack who has been posting all the crap. As far as money is concerned, it's important to expect your lady to be frugal and concerned for the future. It becomes a judgement call as to when you bring up the issue. -blm Title: Re: Re: Re: Do NOT do this.... Post by: terry on February 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Do NOT do this...., posted by BarryM on Feb 1, 2002
Thank you Barry So you are saying the person yesterday that said he was jack bragg posting under all the names , was not really Jack Bragg? I have been doing a lot of reading on Russian Women. About how good a wife they can be. Understand not true about all of them. However, some of the things I am hearing here would make me feel they are easy to get hurt by simple things you may say to them. Do they see all americans as being rich? Do they feel that, If they marry an american man, life will be nothing but good things and never no bad? Now , pleasse understand , This borad has helped me a lot because i do see some things they don't say in the books about RW. I Just want to understand them before I jump in. Some of the thtings i have read here would make me think , they get their feelings hurt very easy. Title: Take your time and do your homework... Post by: BarryM on February 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: Do NOT do this...., posted by terry on Feb 1, 2002
If you are serious, you are in for about a 2 year haul... the time it takes to find your girl to the time it takes to tie the knot... Some people can do it in under a year, for some it takes 5 years. You have to be able to afford the luxury of time as well as money in this endeavor. Because of the expensive investment that it takes, you should be very picky in your choice. Don't settle for anyone less than the finest woman of a great personality, beauty, and morality. Unfortunately, there are many women who have very poor character who are looking for Western men to take advantage of. It will take some experience and skill to weed out the harlots from the good ones. People here have different experiences and different opinions on this subject. You have to carefully read and listen to them with objectivity. Be careful because a few individuals will give you completely wrong advice that could cause you to waste a lot of time and money or put you in a bad position...example, Ryan. As far as RW being easily hurt, that depends on the RW. One thing to consider, is the RW using the hurt feelings for manipulation? Understanding how women try to manipulate men is important. These women have thicker skin than they would like you to believe. Most of my experience at present has to do with learning Russian language. I have a lot of resources in that subject. I'm also Orthodox, so I have some cultural insight as well. Other folks such as Dan, have extensive travel and visa experience. It's important to know who has been there and gone through the process because there are a lot of opinions and not all of them are correct. Read very carefully. You may want to search the archives that contain better information than you can get in a book. Unfortunately, some of the best archives have been deleted because they were over 6 months old. BTW... all the folks posting and stating they were Jack Bragg were joking around. The nutball scammer troll was accusing everyone of being Jack. -blm Title: Re: Take your time and do your homework... Post by: Natalya on February 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Take your time and do your homework..., posted by BarryM on Feb 1, 2002
Statement that "russian women have thicker skin then they would like you to believe" I find offensive and rude!!!! Title: Hmm.... Post by: BarryM on February 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Take your time and do your homework...., posted by Natalya on Feb 2, 2002
I know many Russian women both young and old and I have found that to be true... especially some of the older RW who are my friends. They have been through quite a rough life and are very strong and sometimes very sad. You should find that as a compliment, not an offense, for it is an admirable quality. -blm Title: Re: Hmm.... Post by: Natalya on February 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Hmm...., posted by BarryM on Feb 2, 2002
Yes we are strong women because life out there is not easy and we couldn't afford to be weak. But we still are sensitive and fragile and need to be treated the same way as other women no matter what country we're from :) Title: Of course... Post by: BarryM on February 02, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Hmm...., posted by Natalya on Feb 2, 2002
Much of the strengths I see in them comes from their patience and compassion in adverse situations. One big impression I got from the native Russian women at my Church is that they are stronger, hence the term "thicker skin", than they display. I was quite impressed. -blm Title: Re: Take your time and do your homework... Post by: Ryan on February 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Take your time and do your homework..., posted by BarryM on Feb 1, 2002
Since you used me as an example I would again ask what experience do you have? You don't even post your E-mail, but what ever your small potato's Now I do not disagree with the statement "Be careful because a few individuals will give you completely wrong advice that could cause you to waste a lot of time and money or put you in a bad position...example, Ryan." Screw you Berry like your some expert on this subject, "Most of my experience at present has to do with learning Russian language. I have a lot of resources in that subject, I'm also Orthodox." What ever... Wow Orthodox that says it all, yep your a frikin expert... Look to be honest this whole search of ours is a nightmare at best. I mean I am writing to 29 women since I placed that one add in the Kiev and one on Lugansk newspaper. What is that all about? There are a ton of women over there in that country that write to us and we have to walk on water to get just one of them. We have to understand issues like ken describes that they "will tend to magnify ANY pessimism and minimize an optimistic outlook." They are touchy women and tend to blowup on any little issue that doesn't go their way. They have no since of money 200 is like 2000 etc. Then you look at what it takes for us to go over the Ukraine and survive without getting rolled or ripped off by agencies and citizens. Then you try and go through the process of getting them over here while keeping your cool and not pissing off your girlfriend, as you know how touchy she can be. What am I doing? I hope STAN AND KEN and people like them are for real people and not just working for some agency and pulling our leg about how good all this is in the long run. Title: Re: Re: Take your time and do your homework... Post by: hockeybrain on February 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Take your time and do your homework...., posted by Ryan on Feb 1, 2002
Ryan, do not give up after May. Patience is a virtue. Learn and do it again - if necessary. Title: That may be a bad idea... Post by: BarryM on February 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Take your time and do your homew..., posted by hockeybrain on Feb 1, 2002
If you haven't been following Ryan's antics on here, you may want to check some archives of his posts that weren't deleted. He has absolutely no respect for anyone on here and arrogant stupidity has made him the most reviled poster not yet banned. -blm Title: I think that is a mistake Barry Post by: Jack on February 03, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to That may be a bad idea..., posted by BarryM on Feb 1, 2002
You have forgotten about Max/jj! Title: The same goes for you Barry/Jack... nt Post by: jj on February 03, 2002, 05:00:00 AM Title: Re: That may be a bad idea... Post by: Bobby Orr on February 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to That may be a bad idea..., posted by BarryM on Feb 1, 2002
Well, everybody is capable of change. To some extent we all live in glass houses. You learn from failure, and in Ryan's case we all have learned (though I admit many say he was stating the obvious). Still, I respect him for the effort. Title: Re: ???????????????????????????????????? Post by: spyke on February 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to That may be a bad idea..., posted by BarryM on Feb 1, 2002
I thought U disliked me MORE!!!! What do I have to do??? Just tell me ... I will do it!!!!! Title: Better To Plant The Seeds Now... Post by: RickM on February 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Do NOT do this...., posted by Deckard on Feb 1, 2002
I can only post what "my" experiences have been... Right from the beginning I laid down the fact that "I" was the one financing things and that especially here in the states,"I" certainly know better how to manage things logically and get the most for our abilities... I equally think it is necessary for her to learn how to manage a different economy and lifestyle and I get her involved with as much as possible,like writting checks etc...She understands now $$$ and how it goes out but doesn't really yet understand how it comes in...Only that I work many hours and try not to spend $$$ on things we don't need.She is actually beginning to use cupons and look in sales flyers for things we need and plan to buy... My famous saying to her is that we are not "Presidente" but we are not poor either... I remember her buying a $115.00 pair of gold shoes back in Kyrgyzstan (still sitting in the closet) for her engagement party before I left Kyrgyzstan.My words,"that's a lot of money for a pair of (gold-???)shoes"...her words,"I'm only getting engaged and having an engagement party once"... Well...I make it a point till today to keep those funky-looking(UNUSED) $115.00 pair of "GOLD" shoes quite visible in the bedroom closet...Get it ??? Title: Newbie advice is right Post by: Ramblin on February 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Do NOT do this...., posted by Deckard on Feb 1, 2002
Some of us have had to learn the hard way, but yes, all Newbies should be warned: never use the word "expensive" to your lady, not in e-mails, not on the phone, not in person, not ever. They just take it the wrong way. Title: all I can say is Post by: Stan B on February 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Do NOT do this...., posted by Deckard on Feb 1, 2002
get a calling card, like net2phone's, so that you don't have to worry about the cost of your calls. As for your mistake, never went there...aloha |