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Title: An American man in Russia Post by: Tootsie on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM Hello guys,
Recently my female friend married an American man. They corresponded for several months, then she came to the US on a business trip and they met in person. They fell in love with each other, later Jim came to Moscow and in some time they got married. Jim liked it here and they decided to stay in Russia. They are a very nice young beautiful couple and obviously in love with each other. Now there is a problem. My friend has a very hi-paid job and money is not a problem for their family. But probably in some time Jim would like to work too. There is no problem for him to find a good job here and they have already received several interesting offers. But what happens to an American man when he adapts to the Russian reality? No doubt that a young charming nice looking American man will attract all possible attention from beautiful Russian girls. And Russian men will definitely explain him very soon that keeping faithfullness to a wife is not necessary in Russia and mistresses are quite common here. Already on the wedding my friend’s female friends were too sweet to Jim and Russian men offered him to join them in their evening entertainments in local bars. Also, it will not take him long for Jim to find out that divorce is a very quick and extremely cheap procedure here. Differ from Jim Russian men grew up being surrounded by beautiful women within all their life. They chose their wives from many other women and it doesn’t happen often that they divorce and marry their attractive mistresses (“A mistress is a mistress and a wife is a wife”). As for Jim he wasn’t spoiled by women first because he grew up in a small American town and second because he has never been successful financially. I wonder how long will it take Jim in case he starts working to transfer into a Russian man or is it possible that he stays as nice as he is now in spite of anything? What do you think? Regards, Tootsie Title: Re: An American man in Russia Post by: Jimmy on November 15, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to An American man in Russia, posted by Tootsie on Nov 13, 2001
Tootsie, I have lived in Ukriane for over a year now and have been faithful to my Russian lady and never cheated on her. I have had the opportunity to do so and I know Russian men will not stay faithful. I see the sencerity in my Russian lady and I can't bring myself to cheat on her. I would hurt her immensely and destroy my own selfworth. Only cruel and selfish people would cheat on an honest mate. I hope Jim and your friend the best. But honesty and real love cannot fail. Best Regards, Jimmy Title: Tootsie...... Post by: tfcrew on November 14, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to An American man in Russia, posted by Tootsie on Nov 13, 2001
A very interesting story. One that will continue no doubt. I believe that "financial success" is not really an attribute. Nor are "mistresses" The president of Russia will be horse-back riding just south of here at the Crawford Ranch, Texas today. How many of us know that Vlad Putin was director of the KGB ? Pres Bush Sr was director of the CIA. Keep posting Karl Title: An American man Goes Crazy in Russia Post by: WmGo on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to An American man in Russia, posted by Tootsie on Nov 13, 2001
Sounds like fun, I think!! Seriously, it all depends on his upbringing and belief system. Hope all is well with you. WmGo Title: Re: An American man in Russia Post by: Dalton Brooks on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to An American man in Russia, posted by Tootsie on Nov 13, 2001
Tootsie: Only Jims morals can tell if he will give in the the temptations of other women or the influence of Russian men. If he doesn't have strong morals and ethics he will give in to temptations whether he is in Russia or any other country. There are just as many beautiful women here in America as there are in Russia and they are just as willing to hop in the sack as women in any country. Personally I have never been unfaithful to any woman I have been involved with and becoming friends with or working with Russian men could never change that about me. I take great pride in my freedom to voice my opinion and during my several trips to Russia and Ukraine, I have voiced it many times to Russian men. If I lived there I would still do the same. My opinion on Russian men always being unfaithful. They could not be unfaithful if women did not sleep with them. Dalton Title: Well Toots..... Post by: LP on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to An American man in Russia, posted by Tootsie on Nov 13, 2001
.....Knowing your friend a little, as well as something about Jim's previous life and home, it's my opinion that he will eventually sucumb to temptation. I say this because, once again, this seemed like a *real* quickie deal. I was quite surprised they tied the knot after so little time. That alone ups the chances for failure regardless where they ended up living. (Ya'll sure put alota stock in that chemistry thing. Infatuation is more like it and to marry someone on that gives me the heebee geebees.) On the other hand I sure don't want it to go sour because she is such a sweetheart. Based on what I saw, she could have done a lot better, but I wish them happiness. I do wonder how long it'll be before ole Jim starts to wander. Personally, my time spent in the FSU has made me realize that being married while living there as an A/M would be a *distinct* disadvantage to the quality of life. Many of those here simply can't deal with an A/W for whatever reason and thats why they look east, but they fail to realize just how much greener the pasture there really is. They think the only solution to their "problem" is marraige and so they put great effort into it because it's the only option in their minds. For them maybe it is, because most will not leave the USA and don't seem to do well with the local talent. Living in the FSU as an A/M certainly can change that no matter what one thought in the beginning. There are simply too many oppurtunities and people change, plain and simple. On another note, if you had so much free time why didn't you call me? I could have brought the small jet down and we could have done Tahoe, Vegas, San Fran, or any number of other places and had you back by evening. Title: I agree... Post by: Tootsie on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Well Toots....., posted by LP on Nov 13, 2001
Hi LP, I'll start with comments of the end of your post. I didn't call you first because I didn't want to bother you and second I know how much plane fuel cost. But I thank you very much for your offer. Hopefully I'll go back to the US somewhere in January and if it is still in force I'll take it with pleasure. I tend to agree with you. Jim is a very nice guy, honest, with high moral values, in love with my friend and very unspoiled. But he has never tried anything sweeter than a carrot. If he just has an affair it will be not so terrible. It will be worth if he takes the affair too serious and divorces. I'm sure he will stay a faithfull American man rather long because he is in love with our friend, I just wonder how long. I sincerely hope he will not turn into a Russian man before they leave (I hope they'll leave). On the other hand most men from this board will (or did) probably marry Russian women knowing them for a shorter time than our friend did. And in my opinion they will face the same situation. I spent 2 months in the US and I can say definitely that the situation there is quite the reverse than here. Choice of men is at least 100 times wider "there" than "here". I would never say that there are not many beautiful American women but there are just much more attractive single American men. Regards, Tootsie Title: Re: True but most of the young, attractive, single AM are dogs.. Post by: Oatmeal on November 14, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to I agree..., posted by Tootsie on Nov 13, 2001
and don't know the first thing about faithfulness. Many men if not atleast an equal number of American men here have very low level of discipline and give in very easily to their physical desires. However, it seems to me that there are still some good ones out there but they are more few and far between. My father always said that the best way to avoid something bad happening is to avoid a situation that allows for its opportunity. Having said this, I rather fear for this Jim and his new wife but if he is a special guy then he can choose not to be unfaithful to his new wife and do the right thing. It will be up to him to be a true man and knuckle down when temptation strikes. I wish your friend and Jim the best of luck and hope they will both be devoted to each other. Title: Huh?..... Post by: LP on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to I agree..., posted by Tootsie on Nov 13, 2001
....Didn't want to bother me? Bad girl! Cost of fuel? The cost of Jet A is the *smallest* expense in operating the darn thing. Besides, it's my Rubles. (I wish all your sisters were as concerned about money as you are.) lol...OK, next time call me and I promise I'll bring the oldest, cheapest, most poorly maintained, terrorist infested thing I can find that will make it there and back. (well, no promises on making it back :-). It's interesting that you describe the difference about an affair verus divorce. I meant an affair will likely happen, but he will not divorce her. (Btw, My regards to her, send her my best wishes.) These guys love to gush about morals, commitment and all the rest. (Funny how most of the A/W in their lives didn't seem to share those traits and how it's all the women's fault these guys are alone today. After all, they were Prince Charmings, or they think they are *now*.) All that is for people who can't handle reality. It's serious head in the sand stuff, nice to have and maybe even true in a minority of cases, but they seem to forget there are two people involved in any relationship. Yes, it's Jim's "unspoiled" nature that will do him in. He will soon see what awaits him and he'll sample the goods for sure, but I think they will be OK. Guys here will say his high moral values and honesty will prevent his wandering, but they are being overly simplistic. (As well ignorant of the real world. My experience is that the more a guy wishes upon a star, the more outta touch he has become.) It's good that Jim will see Russia for awhile, I think that will be very good for the relationship. It also proves our friend is sincere, although I know she wants to come here. They better start the paperwork now, as it could be more of a hassle than a K1, even with the new Life legislation. To answer your other question, my opinion is that an uncontained failure of the powerplant caused the accident. Although rare, it does happen and the ScareBus has had problems in the past with these GE turbines. I personally know guys who hate operating the things, they are not happy with the quality and engineering of it. (lol...remember, in hell the French are the enginners). There are some aspects that are troubling to me, but they could be explained away as a fluke. When added all together, the many bits of information lead to an unfortunate mishap. I seriously doubt there was any foul play involved, so not to worry. lol...Besides, as you know, American pilots are confident, charming, competent and exceptionaly handsome people with a modest nature. :-) Btw, the weather is great here....Take care. Title: "There are simply too many oppurtunities "... Post by: yoe on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Well Toots....., posted by LP on Nov 13, 2001
they shoor is...........if you is an oppurtunist........... but some fellas gots scrooples.............. but i gess you bin upin that lil jet so long you too high fo us down yonder in 'morality town'. Joe One man and One woman-----went to see one, married one, stickin' with one-----till death do us part or she kills me. :) Title: Thats because... Post by: LP on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to "There are simply too many oppurtun..., posted by yoe on Nov 13, 2001
..it was the best you could possibly do, here *or* there. Don't lump me in with the likes of you. Besides, thats all well and good to say when your married. Everything is fair game before the commitment is made, do I Your right about one thing, there are no "oppurtunities" for those desperate enough to settle for....well, whatever it is you've settled for. Title: Ho Hummmmmmmmmmm Post by: yoe on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Thats because..., posted by LP on Nov 13, 2001
Back to that are we. come on find a new line fo defense. It is do juvenile. You knmow nothing of my wife and you make all of these childish comments. You could only dream to have the caliber of woman as my wife.........Oh yea now I know..........that is why you are still alone,or I mean single..........you cannot find a woman like I have found. Anmd yes I do have a criminal record and I do not mind to replay it.....sport. As far as before..I never did to women the things you claim. My mother raised me better. I have a criminal record through punishing boys like you....get it. Nevertheless...........face it sport. Joe is happy and has done did it. If you would get off your little high horse and think that you have some magical gift....hahahahahaha you may find a good woman. Sh!t who would want an ego-maniacal condecending A-Hole who whines like a little girl about mememememememememememe. Get a grip honcho and be a man! :)' Love Joe Title: Lol..... Post by: LP on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Ho Hummmmmmmmmmm, posted by yoe on Nov 13, 2001
...Man, you are touchy! Is that the best you can do Yoey? Rant and rave obcenities and insults? And bad ones at that? I know more about you and your wife than you think Sport. How do you think I knew about your record? You need to pay more attention to what your gummint has recently done. You on the other hand clearly know very little about me. wait...it's gonna get better..... Title: HMMMMMMMMMMMM Post by: yoe on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Lol....., posted by LP on Nov 13, 2001
How did lp know about my record? the same way I know he is alone-I mean single deductive reasoning. Facts Joe has been a drinker Joe has done drugs Joe has been clean for many years And the number one reason for LP's great investigative work drum roll.............Joe has admitted to it. great work Sherlock How do I know that you are alone? Facts LP always belittles others to compensate own feelings of insecurity lp uses the word 'jet' as a penis and sybollically tries to stick it in where ever he can-like in 'real life' unsuccessfully lp is on this board more than me-and I have time. And the number one reason we know that lp (otherwise known in arabic as Hasen Bin Laid) is doing without......if he was he would not be here and he would be a lot happier-like Yoe Joe Title: Bingo! Post by: DE on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to HMMMMMMMMMMMM, posted by yoe on Nov 13, 2001
Yeah, I even got a kick out of, yeah babe, just drop the ole word an I'll fire up the ole JET (phallic symbol) an buzz us over to Tahoe for the evening. LOL. Heck Tootsie, just drop the word, I'll fire up the ole buick (a smaller phallic symbol), drive you to Tahoe through San Francisco so you can see California up close and personal. It's actually more interesting and beautiful seeing California driving than seeing it at 24,000 feet. Plus, whats the hurry? Life is too short to not stop and smell the wild flowers along the way, or take a hike up bridal falls enroute (its in the moutains on the way to Tahoe) in the spring or summer. And a slight detour off highway 50, and you can even get a little wine tasting in one of California's fast growing foothill wineries. Of course the ole buick won't get you back the same day, but it won't fall out of the sky either. And don't forget, its quality, not swift that counts! Title: Another example of.... Post by: LP on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Bingo!, posted by DE on Nov 13, 2001
....chidlish envy. Do ya really think I'm lame enough to use the word "jet" in that context? If you knew what Tootsie knows you would have understood I was making a choice of availible transportaion. Of course, you don't know what her private email to me was refering to so I suppose your remark is understandable. lol...Better stick with the Buick, it's all ya ever gonna have. Title: Yeah, I do think you're.... Post by: DE on November 14, 2001, 05:00:00 AM Title: Re: Lol..... Post by: ron on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Lol....., posted by LP on Nov 13, 2001
i don't know lp, yoe does make some valid points. he has a fiiiiine russian wife whatever you say about yoe, he has succeded and you just talk about how cool you are and you don't need russian women, american women are fine with you and you have plenty of them, sure! Title: Succeded in what?.... Post by: LP on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Lol....., posted by ron on Nov 13, 2001
....You call yoey a success? lol...OK. Exactly what "valid" points does he make and how would you know they're "valid"? How "cool" I am? Not my intent, sorry if it comes across that way. I just assume people tell the truth until I find otherwise. I'm well versed in dealing with the envy of others, been doing it all my life. Thats their problem, not mine. Some of us do better in life than others because we're focused, if you or Yoey can't handle that it's not my problem. I'm not about to take any heat for stating the simple facts of my existence and don't blame me if you've not done as well. Lack of confidence in many areas seems to be a common theme among men involved in this little dance. The facts are that I've not squandered my life and assets on failed marriages and the expense that incuurs, all the while having many years of happiness with some fine mates. This, coupled with a several well paying professions (that require great self confidence and just happen to attract women), has been a good deal for me. If thats "cool", than yeah, I've done OK. So what? Like I said, if you can't handle that don't blame me, you or Yoey could have done the same. But no, he choose to screw around instead and now has to lie in the bed he made. (And with...nah.) Simple envy is his problem. Like I said, I'm used to it. I'm not here to win a popularity contest or to be the class clown, and my opinions are as valid as anyone's. You see, Yoey likes to post crap to every thing I post. (just look down below where I didn't respond) He jumps in when the subject has nothing to do with him and uses the most childish comments he can. (Again, look down below. It's great that he claims I do the same.) He wants to get a rise outta me and when it doesn't work he gets bent. I just ignore him because he makes himself look like a fool. Now I could say that one of the crack whores he claims I've been poking is his hag wife, but that would be wrong. It doesn't stop *him* from using such tactics though does it? He does this because, by his own admission, his "mother raised him better than that". (About your mother, yoe.....nah) Even when I ignore him, he keeps at it. Yeah, he's a classy success alright. See the descrepancy? No? Well, maybe you're blind. I *don't* "need" any R/W, do you? Why would you? Do you depend on another for happiness? Are you the typical loser that can't deal with A/W? Do you think R/W are something "special"? If so, how do you figure? I'll explain it again. I do not fit the typical profile of most here, thats intuitively obvious to even a loser in life like Yoey. I began this two years ago as a curiousity and have had a good time at it. What I have found is that the vast majority of these women are users and the vast majority of these guys are dying to be used. You clearly measure "success" in a differnt way than I. Unlike 95% here, I'm not on a "mission" to get married so why would I think thats "success"? Use your head, if I was on such a mission why do I restrict my trips to only a few a year? What is wrong with you that you so desperately "need" someone so badly that you risk all on a people who are known to have vast numbers of users among them? Can't you even get "used" at home? I think not and thats the problem, isn't it? Or maybe you think you've already been used at home and think your safe from it over there. If so, you're dumber than a Yoe. Now, of all the R/W I have dealt with, only one has what I would call a heart of gold but there isn't the chemistry needed to go for it. The other "problem" is that I have more "attention" at home than I need and thats the simply truth. If thats being "cool", than I suggest you get out more and make the effort to get some "attention" yourself. I stay here because I do glean some information at times and if what I say is taken as bravado, than I'm wasting my time on people who I *assume* have somewhat normal lives, just like mine. Maybe I'm wrong. Whats "cool" to you is simply my normal life. Hey, it would be cool to me if I were a rock star but I'm not. I sure wouldn't beat one up for his/her success in it though. Cynical? Yeah, a little. That comes from a previous life where I spent four years putting so called "tough" guys like Yoey in jail. I know his kind real well, they are real bad until they come up agaist the law and then they crap their pants. They're the ones who think they're cool but they're simpletons who haven't yet figured out they've ruined their lives. Yep, Yoey is one hell of a success, ain't he? Got himself a history that closed so many doors he has to work like a dog while others make a ton of money in widely respected professions. (Oops, I'm being cool again.) Good old Yoe, he's my hero. I so wish I could be as cool and successful as him. Guess I'll just have to settle for what I have. In return for the cynicism, I got a load of friends with a bond like no other. Friends who will do almost anything to help a brother, so if yoey thinks I know about him because he admitted it, thats fine with me. Lets just wait a bit and see what happens. Thanks to recent legislation, Yoey's identity is an open book for people with the means. In fact, me thinks I'll prove it to him with a little gift: I'm never gonna respond to Yoey again, I'll just let him sound off while I screw with him a little. Off course, he'll never equate it with me. lol...Now *thats* "cool". How's about an example. Lets take Spyke. I could get my a** in a sling for divulging Yoe's identity here, but since ole Spyke was facing 28 counts on a case built up several months ago for pirating software, he won't mind. (Don't panic Sid, it ain't gonna happen because I was only curious as to who you are and the DOJ is busy these days, although the SAIC handling it holds all the cards. It still could go to Justice for review.) Ya see, ole Sid here (that *is* your real name Spyke isn't it? You'd be one Sid Sp***l** of 204** R******s Street, *****n Nevada correct? Maybe Sid will confirm this, but I somehow doubt it), plays numerous games with his email but thats child's play to the pros. Yoey is even more like a two year old because he thinks he's a bad boy, so his was easy. (This is kinda "cool" also, isn't it?) Yoey's just your typical loser who screwed his life up and now thinks he salvaged it enough to be "happy". He can't stand others who have done better so he gets a tad bent when I post. Even when I ignore him, he keeps trying. Thats OK, my turn to try and I have better resources. I'll just spank him a little so he knows I'm more "successful" than he is. So have a nice day Yoey, I won't be talkin at ya again, but you'll be feeling me come next spring. lol...You are such a bad dude, ain't cha? Like all the others before you, you've never learned a thing. Title: I know you so well my brotha...... Post by: yoe on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Succeded in what?...., posted by LP on Nov 13, 2001
You know nothing about me...... Do I work hard? How many hours a week? How much did I make last year? How many employees do I have? How many felonies have I been 'convicted of' How old am I? What is my highest level of education?
Did you get all that stud..........if you know so much call me at home tonight----I will be waitin!
Let me tell you somethin' stud......you are nothing but a contradiction and I do not know how a grown man can actually spit out the rhetoric you do. Everything you say about me is a direct reflection of you. AMAZING Title: lol..... Post by: LP on November 14, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to I know you so well my brotha......, posted by yoe on Nov 13, 2001
Ok Yoey, fair enough. You *did* get me going on the last one. Lets see how childish we can make this. Now, I'm taking you on your word that your last post was truth, so you have to accept mine in return: Do I work hard?
Since you left it out: *Zero* debt and total liquid assets of 425K.
Now see? lol....Who instigated this piece of work? Now will I get flamed for all the wrong reasons?
I agree. But there is only one glaring, obvious explanation, and you can't even see it. Title: got you both beat. Post by: thesearch on November 14, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to lol....., posted by LP on Nov 14, 2001
I work a lot more hours, have a stressful job and make less than either of you. :)))) Title: A True Amerian-God Bless ya.....:o) n.t Post by: yoe on November 14, 2001, 05:00:00 AM Title: gotcha.........:) Post by: yoe on November 14, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to lol....., posted by LP on Nov 14, 2001
God you must love me....... if your numbers are on-congrats.....I still am sittin on 300k debt........but we are tryin..... sweet dreams big daddy.........until we meet again xoxoxoxoxoxo Joe never talk to yoey again ........yeah right ;) Title: You misunderstand..... Post by: LP on November 14, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to gotcha.........:), posted by yoe on Nov 14, 2001
......I'm still gonna send ya that token of appreciation, just so you know how much I luv ya. Title: don't forget the return address!n/t Post by: yoe on November 14, 2001, 05:00:00 AM Title: Dunno... Post by: Ken W on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to An American man in Russia, posted by Tootsie on Nov 13, 2001
Obviously, ANY person, male or female can be tempted under the right circumstances. There is an old saying here: If you want to know what your wife will be like in 20 years, look at your mother-in-law. Kinda simplistic, but you can know a lot about a man by knowing about the house he grew up in. American men are perhaps less prone to cheat because it was something that was either not done or not known about their own father. Europeans are somewhat less hung up on sex, so it makes a strange kind of sense that they would have more affairs. Here is an easy defense - a wife should get to know her husband's friends well. If anyone is going to rat them out about having an affair, his friends will. For instance, I like my best friends wife - a lot. She's almost like a sister to me. I told him one night that if I ever caught him cheating on her, I'd beat him within an inch of his life, and he knew I was serious..:) Title: Re: An American man in Russia Post by: CornellGuy on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to An American man in Russia, posted by Tootsie on Nov 13, 2001
Tootsie, If he's really in love with her as you say he is, he won't succumb to temptation and start chasing other women. From watching and talking to him, do you think he's a good man with high morals? If you think so, then I would say that a decent American man would stick by his wife and best friend!! Title: Re: Re: An American man in Russia Post by: Wayne on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: An American man in Russia, posted by CornellGuy on Nov 13, 2001
This is a really fun thread for a change. Aren't we usually talking about what the RW is going to do once she gets here, and realizes all her options? It goes both ways. To many choices and options can corrupt the strongest. Wayne Title: A Russian Woman in America . . . Post by: Dan on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to An American man in Russia, posted by Tootsie on Nov 13, 2001
Or a Russian man in America . . . Or an American woman in Russsia . . . They all ask the same basic question - and that is: How well does one adapt to a new country and it's culture? You ask a question pertaining to whether or not a person will succumb to temptations offered in a new culture. In the particular case you present, it has significant moral overtones. I think the same question might be asked, though admittedly with less moral implication, about a RW coming to live in America and adjusting to the "conspicuous consumption" values that seem true of many (not ALL) Americans. The difference is the temptation is not sexual, but instead it is material. For that matter, your question could also be asked about RW living in America. While in Russia, according to your premise, those RW did not have as many options for lovers as they may have in America. Will they succumb to the temptation here? You see Tootsie - the question you pose is simply too broad. No-one can possibly answer it with any degree of certainty. Individuals have too much variability of character. - Dan Title: Re: An American man in the land of women Post by: thesearch on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to An American man in Russia, posted by Tootsie on Nov 13, 2001
Of course it all depends on who Jim is. However, there are a lot of men who believe that once married it is not wise to sleep with another woman. Even as a singlel man, I will not jump in the sack with just any women. I am very selective. But again back to marriage, many of us are taught loyalty and this is very ingrained and not easily changed. I for one could not sleep with another woman once I take the vow. I know there are many like me. Title: Re: An American man in Russia Post by: Ryan on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to An American man in Russia, posted by Tootsie on Nov 13, 2001
I enjoyed your point of view in this circumstance but it is really hard to predict if anything like you say will happen. I feel that Jim will have a harder time getting in with the male friend because they will treat him different, as he is an American. As will the people at his sometime new job. He will never really assimilate completely into the Russian society, as he is an American. If he was married before in American or had relationships he will understand what jewel he has in his new Russian Wife and will not as readily take a mistress like you say the Russian men do. It is the old saying you can take the boy out of the country but you cannot take the country out of the boy. (Same with women) I am sure Jim had some experience with good looking women in American as we do have many here but it is my point of view they are much easier to get into the sack with as they are much less educated as their Russian woman counterpart. In this respect who wants them? In this context the Russian woman would be harder for him to take as a mistress only. Ryan Title: Re: An American man in Russia Post by: JohnG on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to An American man in Russia, posted by Tootsie on Nov 13, 2001
Every man is different; every woman is different; every combination in a relationship is different. Who is to say? Not every man is a dog in heat, you know. Title: Re: An American man in Russia Post by: micha1 on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to An American man in Russia, posted by Tootsie on Nov 13, 2001
Please, your friend, your friend and your friend, who has everything. If she is your friend, why are you ready to gamble that her marriage will not work. And you are not saying much for the women of Russia, according to you, they all on make for other women lovers or husbands (are you included in the club of the marriage breaker). All seem to be to cut and dry for you. I do hope that, you will get lucky soon, you will have something else to worry about and will be more relax. best wishes micha Title: Attack an opinion, not a person Post by: Tootsie on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: An American man in Russia, posted by micha1 on Nov 13, 2001
Dear micha1, I would like to advise you to re-read Zink's post about Russian men. As a Russian woman I can only say that his observations are very exact. Russian men can have wagons of shortcommings but still they are Men. And Russian women managed to keep their feminity only because they were surrounded by Men. If you yourself used to treat women like you do in this post you'd better forget about this whole adventure now because you'll never be able to keep a Russian woman. Real men treat ANY woman like a woman - protect her, defend her, excuse her bad mood, emotions or anything like that. If you are able to abuse a woman just because you disagree with her opinion you are NOT a man. Take these words from a Russian woman. Grow up, micha. Happy Tootsie Title: Re: Attack an opinion, not a person Post by: micha1 on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Attack an opinion, not a person, posted by Tootsie on Nov 13, 2001
Tootsie, perhaps you are right, I may have sounded as if I wa attacling you, not your opinion, but even if my use of english is limited, please re-read your post. Your friend, the girl has everything and he doesn't have much. He must have something, because she married him. I do not believe that all russian men are macho and all drunks. No more the north american man, an angel. Good old boys are everywhere. It is question of personal culture, education and what have you. As for me, if I choose right, with age and experience, (experience is not what happen to us, it is what with do with what happen to us) with kindness, understanding, goodwill and an equal intellectually, life has been very good to me. And will continue to be. It does tales a lot of elbow grease and of keeping our mouth shout to make a relation work. My father came home often under weather, but he came home everynight. Today, they are all politically correct, don't drink, smoke, they eat quiche, but don't come home. If you come from a broken home or it is the case for your partner, chances are....... Choose someone from the same affectional (family wise), you got a head start...... Sorry Tootsie, your post had awaken something in me............. micha Title: Keeping their mouth shut Post by: Ryan on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Attack an opinion, not a person, posted by micha1 on Nov 13, 2001
I find it interesting the point you made about Russian women, "keeping their mouth shut." I seems to be sort of an American thing that astblishing good communication is the key to a good relationship while is seem that Russian woman keep their mouth shut when something upsets them etc. I have had some experience with my friend in Lugansk about this issue. I was wondering if anyone had things to add about why women from this culture so turn to "Keeping their mouth shut." Ryan Title: Re: Keeping their mouth shut Post by: micha1 on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Keeping their mouth shut, posted by Ryan on Nov 13, 2001
Ryan, it is my guess that you understood by "keepping" my mouth or anyone mouth shout in a relation, it is to stop the - you, you, you did this, did that, you , you, you are this and you are that- accusing the other in private as well as in public. The secret - main one anyway - in a relation is to admitted when you are wrong and keepping your mouth shout when the other person is wrong. May be that you are Russian, American, European, it is always the same. And this hold true more for a man than for a woman, because a woman, somehow, never forget, nevere forgive, either, they will use it as an excuse for their behavior somewhere down the road. thanks Title: Not a culture... Post by: Tootsie on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Keeping their mouth shut, posted by Ryan on Nov 13, 2001
I've heard from at least 5 American men complains on such behaviour of their Russian friends/wives. But at the same time I've NEVER even heard of such behaviour among my female friends or female collegues. They could shower their boyfriends/husbands with strong emotions, cry loudly or even try to beat men but there is no way they keep silence. What I can say is that all the women who kept silence when the problems with their men occured were not from Moscow. Probably Moscow ladies really differ from other Russian women... Regards, Tootsie Title: Re: Not a culture thing Post by: KenC on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Not a culture..., posted by Tootsie on Nov 13, 2001
Tootsie, I agree with you. Lena has never been the silent type either. I always know where she stands on any issue. I hope you had a good trip here. I wanted to call Ken, but I misplaced his number. Wishing you the best. Title: Re: Attack an opinion, not a person Post by: chuck12 on November 13, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Attack an opinion, not a person, posted by Tootsie on Nov 13, 2001
Hi Tootsie - Russia does not have a monopoly on temptation , though having "mistress" is not quite as accepted or almost expected in U.S. as in Russia, affairs do happen. Whether Jim falls into this trap is soley up to the type of man (character) Jim is and also how much in love he is with his wife? If he is of strong character, this will go against his grain and he will not put himself in such a position or not allow chance circumstance to occur. I guess I would sum it up this way, most american men (once married) do NOT go looking for other women (unless something has gone wrong with their marriage and then divorce is likely inevitable anyway), whereas Russian Men (because it is more widely accepted as part of their culture) do the exact opposite. sincerely, |